Sex Before Marriage

[cardero]

Learned much have I. Thanks for the input everyone.

Hold on, we're not done yet.

 

[Sunstone]

While there are well known risks associated with premarital sex, I am unconvinced the risks always outweight the benefits. Apparently, 90% of married Americans would agree with me on that (the percentage of married Americans that polls indicate have had premarital sex).

Is it safe to say that premarital sex is largely viewed as acceptable in the context of a committed relationship likely to lead to marriage?

 

[Dayv]

Marriage is man-made, animals don't marry. The bible was written by people with the viewpoints of those people at that time, and people probably married before the bible was written although with their own ideas and ceremonies which they had created.

 

[Bishka]

Marriage is man-made, animals don't marry. The bible was written by people with the viewpoints of those people at that time, and people probably married before the bible was written although with their own ideas and ceremonies which they had created.

Actually I believe that marriage was instituted by God.

 

[Ðanisty]

Actually I believe that marriage was instituted by God.

Then how would you explain marriages that happened prior to Christianity and/or among people who don't even believe in the Christian God?

 

[CaptainXeroid]

I believe the comparison is valid...

Then we can agree to disagree, and I appreciate the designation 'Good Captain'.

...If you doubt the importance of sex in a relationship, consider that my husband and I broke up once (for about a month due to family problems) before we were married and got back together because we missed the sex....

...and when the sex isn't exciting anymore, one of both of you will probably stray and your marriage may break up again. I hope that doesn't happen, but for a relationship based on sex, it would be a logical resolution.

...I was just thinking about several young married women I've slept with...

Well, it is your choice to lead a morally bankrupt lifestyle as it is for the women who are not committed to their marriages. Just be aware that in many states, a spouse who catches his/her spouse in the act of adultery will not be convicted for committing a 'crime of passion'. Like Larry the Cable Guy says 'Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early do.'

...It is interesting in light of this discussion that polls have shown 90% of all married Americans engaged in pre-marital sex. Only 10% choose to abstain until marriage. Perhaps oddly, the same polls show that a majority of Americans favor abstinence until marriage, at least in theory...

Lots of interesting viewpoints on this topic, but I find this the most interesting. Since we don't have a link to the exact numbers, let's assume the majority that favor abstinence is 51%. That means that at least 41% of Americans advocate an action that is contrary to the action they took, waiting until marriage. I would say this lends credence to my earlier point that pre-marital sex was a mistake for more people than it was a positive.

Learned much have I. Thanks for the input everyone.

Wow..you even learned to talk like Yoda. Take care and make the right decision.

 

[mr.guy]

Since we don't have a link to the exact numbers, let's assume the majority that favor abstinence is 51%. That means that at least 41% of Americans advocate an action that is contrary to the action they took, waiting until marriage. I would say this lends credence to my earlier point that pre-marital sex was a mistake for more people than it was a positive.

So a stat you made up is now lending your argument credence? You're not even trying anymore.

 

[Ðanisty]

...and when the sex isn't exciting anymore, one of both of you will probably stray and your marriage may break up again. I hope that doesn't happen, but for a relationship based on sex, it would be a logical resolution.

First of all, my relationship isn't based on sex. We have a fantastic relationship. He's my best friend. Also, our marriage didn't break up. We broke up when we were dating before we got married and it didn't have anything to do with our relationship. It was about his family. I already said this. You make a lot of assumptions.

Sex will always be exciting. If sex is getting boring or you anticipate it getting boring, maybe you should think about ways to make it interesting.

 

[nutshell]

Then how would you explain marriages that happened prior to Christianity and/or among people who don't even believe in the Christian God?

Marriage was there from the beginning. Christians believe humanity began with Adam and Eve and that they were married. God's laws existed prior to Christianity, Christianity was just an extension or addition of the previous laws.

 

[cardero]

Actually I believe that marriage was instituted by God.

Actually it was inaugurated by God's wife.

 

[Linus]

Learned much have I. Thanks for the input everyone.

Glad I could help. Don't expect this thread to stop going any time soon though. People have lots of opinions, and usually it's hard to convince someone else of anything different.

 

[Ðanisty]

Marriage was there from the beginning. Christians believe humanity began with Adam and Eve and that they were married. God's laws existed prior to Christianity, Christianity was just an extension or addition of the previous laws.

And people who don't follow Christianity...what about their marriages? What about marriages that may have taken place in, for example, ancient Greece? What about modern marriages in non-Christian religions or marriages without any religion?

 

[CaptainXeroid]

So a stat you made up is now lending your argument credence? You're not even trying anymore.

and you are not even trying to pay attenion:biglaugh: . Sunstone posted those stats, and since you did not disagree with my conclusion, it would appear that either you did not understand it or despite your wishes that I am wrong, dep down you do realize I am correct. You are the one who needs to try better in the future.

Ðanisty

]consider that my husband and I broke up once...got back together because we missed the sex

OK...partially my bad. I'll grant that it did happen before you were married, but YOU posted that the reason you got back together was 'because we missed the sex'. Therefore, the conclusion that your relationship is disproportionately based on sex remains valid, and despite experience that relationship so founded are inherently unstable, I do wish you and your husband long-term happiness.[/font]

 

[anders]

Would serve you right, according to today's views...

Anders, I believe Jeffrey was speaking of how he would react as an angry papa to the young man:help: who was trying to have pre-marital sex with Jeffrey's daughter and not about incest.

Use your imagination! More on topic, I honestly think that pre-marital sex should be compulsory. That would diminish the number of marriages failing due to bed incompatibility.

 

[mr.guy]

and you are not even trying to pay attenion:biglaugh: . Sunstone posted those stats,...

Oy. I deserve that.

That means that at least 41% of Americans advocate an action that is contrary to the action they took, waiting until marriage. I would say this lends credence to my earlier point that pre-marital sex was a mistake for more people than it was a positive.

I might sooner say that the subset of the so-called remorseful are hypocrites. Furthermore, it doesn't necessarily mean they're admitting to a mistake, just that they want their kids to do otherwise.

 

[Bishka]

Marriage was there from the beginning. Christians believe humanity began with Adam and Eve and that they were married. God's laws existed prior to Christianity, Christianity was just an extension or addition of the previous laws.

Nutshell answered it for me. Thanks!! Exactly, or pretty close to what I was going to say.

 

[Bishka]

And people who don't follow Christianity...what about their marriages? What about marriages that may have taken place in, for example, ancient Greece? What about modern marriages in non-Christian religions or marriages without any religion?

We are just saying that we believe that marriage was institued, created, established, etc., by God.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Use your imagination! More on topic, I honestly think that pre-marital sex should be compulsory. That would diminish the number of marriages failing due to bed incompatibility.

Are you insane?

Sex is a wild universe. Perhaps everyone should be forced to have homosexual, heterosexual, and threesome sex before graduating high school. Sex toys would not be optional - no sense in having conservative sex. Group sex with butt plugs!! :jam:

 

[Bishka]

Are you insane?

Sex is a wild universe. Perhaps everyone should be forced to have homosexual, heterosexual, and threesome sex before graduating high school. Sex toys would not be optional - no sense in having conservative sex. Group sex with butt plugs!! :jam:

Yay. I don't agree, I do not think pre-martial sex should be compulsory. That's ridiculous. I never had sex before I got married, and my marriage is pretty darn good.

 

[CaptainXeroid]

I might sooner say that the subset of the so-called remorseful are hypocrites. Furthermore, it doesn't necessarily mean they're admitting to a mistake, just that they want their kids to do otherwise.

I made this point earlier in the thread, they are not hypocrites. Some one got stuck on that word mistake, and off we went. They are teachers who are trying to help others learn from their mistakes. If they didn't consider what they did a mistake, they would advocate others do as they had done. If you burn your hand on a hot stove and warn someone of the dangers of touching it, that doesn't make you a hypocrite.

...

More on topic, I honestly think that pre-marital sex should be compulsory. That would diminish the number of marriages failing due to bed incompatibility.

On the surface, this seems to make sense, but a quick examination of the results reveals it doesn't work that way. Instead, couples that engage in pre-marial sex are more likely to cheat and eventually split up rather than working out their differences in the bedroom. I realize many factors influence the divorce rate, but nobody can argue that divorce rates have skyrocketed as more couples have pre-marital sex.