Recall Notice

[Ronald]

I just recieved this recall notice---- it said to pass it on, sounds quite important.

Important Recall Notice

​

Regardless of make or year, all units known as "human beings" are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code-named "Adam" and "Eve" resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect is technically termed "Serious Internal Nontorahism", but is more commonly known simply as "SIN". Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect include: [SIZE=+0]​

* Loss of direction
* Lack of peace and joy
* Depression
* Foul vocal emissions
* Selfishness
* Ingratitude
* Fearfulness
* Rebellion
* Jealousy
​

The Manufacturer is providing factory authorised repair service free of charge to correct the SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Y'shua haMoshiach (a.k.a. Jesus Christ), has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. The number to call for repair of models with the Hebrew module installed is: úôìä (Tephilah), and for models with only the English module installed: </SPAN>P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected please upload the burden of SIN through the úùåáä(Teshubah) / REPENTANCE protocol. Next, initiate a streaming download of [/SIZE]úåøä - TORAH[SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0] from the Repair Technician into the heart component of the human unit. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, following the instructions in [/SIZE][/SIZE]úåøä[SIZE=+0] - TORAH will replace it with: [/SIZE][SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0]

​

​

[/SIZE][/SIZE]* Love
* Joy
* Peace
* Kindness
* Goodness
* Faithfulness
* Gentleness
* Patience
* Self-control
​

[SIZE=+0]Please see the úåøä - TORAH human being operating manual for further details on the use of these fixes.

As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance by His very own source-code, the Ruach haKodesh. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence to assist in applying continual úåøä - TORAH upgrades as they become known through the streaming download.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=+0]

WARNING:[/SIZE]

Continuing to operate a human being unit without corrections voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately result in the human unit being</SPAN> incinerated.

Thank you for your attention.

[SIZE=+0]Please assist by notifying others of this important recall notice[/SIZE]​

 

[sparkyluv]

That's the craziest gospel presentation I've ever seen...but I love it.

 

[Ody]

Thou shall not try to convert others on this forum.

 

[Snowbear]

I just recieved this recall notice---- it said to pass it on, sounds quite important.

Good one, Ronald :biglaugh:

 

[Katzpur]

Ah, that's cute!!! I love it.

 

[bender118]

Heh, kinda ironic since the manual causes most of those "defects"

 

[Snowbear]

The manual doesn't cause the defects

 

[Tigress]

I just recieved this recall notice---- it said to pass it on, sounds quite important.

Important Recall Notice

​

Regardless of make or year, all units known as "human beings" are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code-named "Adam" and "Eve" resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect is technically termed "Serious Internal Nontorahism", but is more commonly known simply as "SIN". Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect include: ​

[SIZE=-0]

* Loss of direction
* Lack of peace and joy
* Depression
* Foul vocal emissions
* Selfishness
* Ingratitude
* Fearfulness
* Rebellion
* Jealousy
​

The Manufacturer is providing factory authorised repair service free of charge to correct the SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Y'shua haMoshiach (a.k.a. Jesus Christ), has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. The number to call for repair of models with the Hebrew module installed is: úôìä (Tephilah), and for models with only the English module installed: </SPAN>P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected please upload the burden of SIN through the úùåáä(Teshubah) / REPENTANCE protocol. Next, initiate a streaming download of [/SIZE]úåøä - TORAH[SIZE=-0][SIZE=-0] from the Repair Technician into the heart component of the human unit. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, following the instructions in [/SIZE][/SIZE]úåøä[SIZE=-0] - TORAH will replace it with: [/SIZE][SIZE=-0][SIZE=-0]
[/SIZE][/SIZE]

* Love
* Joy
* Peace
* Kindness
* Goodness
* Faithfulness
* Gentleness
* Patience
* Self-control
​

[SIZE=-0]Please see the úåøä - TORAH human being operating manual for further details on the use of these fixes.

As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance by His very own source-code, the Ruach haKodesh. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence to assist in applying continual úåøä - TORAH upgrades as they become known through the streaming download.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-0]

WARNING:​

[/SIZE]

Continuing to operate a human being unit without corrections voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately result in the human unit being</SPAN> incinerated.

Thank you for your attention.

[SIZE=-0]Please assist by notifying others of this important recall notice[/SIZE]​

I wish to sue the company issuing this notice for false advertising. Having followed all directions, I am still experiencing said malfunctions of my person.

 

[stemann]

SIN can also be caused by placing a carriage clock to the left of an ornament with more than 50% red colouring in it. Even though there's no actual reason for this, the Manufacturer really really hates it and so you will be

incinerated
​

 

[YmirGF]

Whew. Thank god, I am an OEM model. My manufacturer covers all parts and labor with a lifetime warranty. Add to this a design that is so incredibly user friendly that any child can understand how it works and one soon realized why we don't come with owners manuals. For those who do have the occaisonal problem my OEM supplier has "online" support 23.997/7/364.25 and so help is never a problem or "far away".

Looks like some of you best get a checkup though. Tough darts, eh.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

I just recieved this recall notice---- it said to pass it on, sounds quite important.

It isn't.

 

[Halcyon]

Ronald, hilarious - had me chuckling away. Very clever.

I wish to sue the company issuing this notice for false advertising. Having followed all directions, I am still experiencing said malfunctions of my person.

:clap Brilliant.

I think rather than get the repair man in, i'll just get an upgrade.
Apparently, the parent company of said manufacturer offers upgrades, you just have to find them, they're not listed in the yellow pages.

It isn't.

Lol, how short can they get?

Soon we might have to work out Jay's response from emoticons alone.

 

[Ronald]

I wish to sue the company issuing this notice for false advertising. Having followed all directions, I am still experiencing said malfunctions of my person.

In computerese, it is gigo! Apparently you mis-spelled something. Had you made your connection with the manufacturer and followed the instructions to the letter, it would have worked! It has never failed when the correct application is done.
Failure to properly upload is a common error.
Give it another try! Most likely you will have the desired result.
Ronald

 

[Booko]

[SIZE=-0]As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance by His very own source-code, the Ruach haKodesh. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence to assist in applying continual úåøä - TORAH upgrades as they become known through the streaming download.[/SIZE]

Cute, but it looks like I'm several upgrades ahead of this model already. I'm already beta-testing ver. 5.0

 

[Shadow Wolf]

In computerese, it is gigo

Computerese? Might HTML, C/C++, BASIC, JAVA, or someother be the word your looking for?

That manuel didn't work for me. But then again, I have a "Nocturnal Module" installed in me, that is eternally a part of me, that make my model incaptable with the </SPAN>P-R-A-Y-E-R, /REPENTANCE, and /TORAH protocals. This model does not recognise the command /INCINERATED.
But still, have a </SPAN>BLESSED DAY. May the Goddess smile upon you with this /FULL MOON tonight.

 

[Ronald]

Computerese? Might HTML, C/C++, BASIC, JAVA, or someother be the word your looking for?

That manuel didn't work for me. But then again, I have a "Nocturnal Module" installed in me, that is eternally a part of me, that make my model incaptable with the </SPAN>P-R-A-Y-E-R, /REPENTANCE, and /TORAH protocals. This model does not recognise the command /INCINERATED.
But still, have a </SPAN>BLESSED DAY. May the Goddess smile upon you with this /FULL MOON tonight.

Thank you, but GIGO is the term for "garbage in, garbage out", seems like you are one of the newer models that doesn't understand antique computerese.
What you call a "Nocturnal Module" renders that model to have other desires and feels perfectly capable of operating indefinately without any assistance from the manufactuer. If this "Nocturnal Module" should ever meltdown, maybe you could try a recovery program!
Shalom v todah rabah.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

If this "Nocturnal Module" should ever meltdown, maybe you could try a recovery program!

The Nocturnal Module itself is invulnerable to all threats. The casing its ran in can be damaged, but the OS its self is quite secure. It also includes several GUARDIAN SPIRITS to help keep things going.
It is also depressed this evening, as it can't see the MOON, the symbol of its Manufactuer. But thier will be more FULL MOONS to cause joyous nights of celebration. The data is still present, but visuals are always welcome.

 

[CaptainXeroid]

I just recieved this recall notice---- it said to pass it on, sounds quite important...

Thanks for sharing this! It is very important and quite clever for those who understand it.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

Thank you, but GIGO is the term for "garbage in, garbage out", seems like you are one of the newer models that doesn't understand antique computerese.
What you call a "Nocturnal Module" renders that model to have other desires and feels perfectly capable of operating indefinately without any assistance from the manufactuer. If this "Nocturnal Module" should ever meltdown, maybe you could try a recovery program!
Shalom v todah rabah.

I'm sure that you'd be just as willing to try our program, should yours fail. In the meantime, it is one of the graces of my path that its travellers can respect your 'program' without believing that ours is inferior, or suggesting that yours is. I'm sure that other 'programs' can do the same in return.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

I just recieved this recall notice---- it said to pass it on, sounds quite important.


Important Recall Notice

Regardless of make or year, all units known as "human beings" are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code-named "Adam" and "Eve" resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect is technically termed "Serious Internal Nontorahism", but is more commonly known simply as "SIN". Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect include: ​

[SIZE=+0]

* Loss of direction
* Lack of peace and joy
* Depression
* Foul vocal emissions
* Selfishness
* Ingratitude
* Fearfulness
* Rebellion
* Jealousy

​

The Manufacturer is providing factory authorised repair service free of charge to correct the SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Y'shua haMoshiach (a.k.a. Jesus Christ), has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. The number to call for repair of models with the Hebrew module installed is: úôìä (Tephilah), and for models with only the English module installed: </SPAN>P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected please upload the burden of SIN through the úùåáä(Teshubah) / REPENTANCE protocol. Next, initiate a streaming download of [/SIZE]úåøä - TORAH[SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0] from the Repair Technician into the heart component of the human unit. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, following the instructions in [/SIZE][/SIZE]úåøä[SIZE=+0] - TORAH will replace it with: [/SIZE][SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0]

[/SIZE][/SIZE]

* Love
* Joy
* Peace
* Kindness
* Goodness
* Faithfulness
* Gentleness
* Patience
* Self-control

​

[SIZE=+0]Please see the úåøä - TORAH human being operating manual for further details on the use of these fixes.

As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance by His very own source-code, the Ruach haKodesh. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence to assist in applying continual úåøä - TORAH upgrades as they become known through the streaming download.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=+0]

WARNING:​

[/SIZE]

Continuing to operate a human being unit without corrections voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately result in the human unit being</SPAN> incinerated.

Thank you for your attention.​

[SIZE=+0]Please assist by notifying others of this important recall notice[/SIZE]​

note: the recall notice obviously applies only to fundamentalist Christians, especially those who believe in the rapture​