1. Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Recall Notice

Discussion in 'Religious Debates' started by Ronald, Sep 4, 2006.

  1. Ronald

    Ronald Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2004
    Messages:
    1,392
    Ratings:
    +50
    I just recieved this recall notice---- it said to pass it on, sounds quite important.

    Important Recall Notice


    Regardless of make or year, all units known as "human beings" are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code-named "Adam" and "Eve" resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
    This defect is technically termed "Serious Internal Nontorahism", but is more commonly known simply as "SIN". Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect include: [SIZE=+0]​
    * Loss of direction
    * Lack of peace and joy
    * Depression
    * Foul vocal emissions
    * Selfishness
    * Ingratitude
    * Fearfulness
    * Rebellion
    * Jealousy

    The Manufacturer is providing factory authorised repair service free of charge to correct the SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Y'shua haMoshiach (a.k.a. Jesus Christ), has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. The number to call for repair of models with the Hebrew module installed is: úôìä (Tephilah), and for models with only the English module installed: </SPAN>P-R-A-Y-E-R.

    Once connected please upload the burden of SIN through the
    úùåáä(Teshubah) / REPENTANCE protocol. Next, initiate a streaming download of [/SIZE]úåøä - TORAH[SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0] from the Repair Technician into the heart component of the human unit. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, following the instructions in [/SIZE][/SIZE]úåøä[SIZE=+0] - TORAH will replace it with: [/SIZE][SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0]


    [/SIZE][/SIZE]* Love
    * Joy
    * Peace
    * Kindness
    * Goodness
    * Faithfulness
    * Gentleness
    * Patience
    * Self-control

    [SIZE=+0]Please see the úåøä - TORAH human being operating manual for further details on the use of these fixes.

    As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance by His very own source-code, the Ruach haKodesh. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence to assist in applying continual
    úåøä - TORAH upgrades as they become known through the streaming download.
    [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=+0]
    WARNING:[/SIZE]

    Continuing to operate a human being unit without corrections voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately result in the human unit being</SPAN> incinerated.

    Thank you for your attention.

    [SIZE=+0]Please assist by notifying others of this important recall notice[/SIZE]​
     
    • Like Like x 2
  2. sparkyluv

    sparkyluv Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2006
    Messages:
    127
    Ratings:
    +19
    That's the craziest gospel presentation I've ever seen...but I love it.
     
  3. Ody

    Ody Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2006
    Messages:
    4,840
    Ratings:
    +279
    Thou shall not try to convert others on this forum. :)
     
  4. Snowbear

    Snowbear Nita Okhata

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,420
    Ratings:
    +263
    Good one, Ronald :biglaugh:
     
  5. Katzpur

    Katzpur Not your average Mormon

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2005
    Messages:
    29,511
    Ratings:
    +5,456
    Religion:
    LDS Christian
    Ah, that's cute!!! I love it.
     
  6. bender118

    bender118 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2006
    Messages:
    53
    Ratings:
    +5
    Heh, kinda ironic since the manual causes most of those "defects"
     
  7. Snowbear

    Snowbear Nita Okhata

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,420
    Ratings:
    +263
    The manual doesn't cause the defects ;)
     
  8. Tigress

    Tigress Working-Class W*nch.

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2005
    Messages:
    1,544
    Ratings:
    +189
    I wish to sue the company issuing this notice for false advertising. Having followed all directions, I am still experiencing said malfunctions of my person.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. stemann

    stemann Time Bandit

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Messages:
    533
    Ratings:
    +101
    SIN can also be caused by placing a carriage clock to the left of an ornament with more than 50% red colouring in it. Even though there's no actual reason for this, the Manufacturer really really hates it and so you will be

    incinerated
     
  10. YmirGF

    YmirGF Bodhisattva

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2005
    Messages:
    29,092
    Ratings:
    +14,862
    Religion:
    Beyond the Light
    Whew. Thank god, I am an OEM model. My manufacturer covers all parts and labor with a lifetime warranty. Add to this a design that is so incredibly user friendly that any child can understand how it works and one soon realized why we don't come with owners manuals. For those who do have the occaisonal problem my OEM supplier has "online" support 23.997/7/364.25 and so help is never a problem or "far away".

    Looks like some of you best get a checkup though. Tough darts, eh.
     
  11. Jayhawker Soule

    Jayhawker Soule <yawn> ignore </yawn>
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2004
    Messages:
    36,698
    Ratings:
    +10,019
    Religion:
    Judaism
    It isn't.
     
  12. Halcyon

    Halcyon Lord of the Badgers

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2005
    Messages:
    6,411
    Ratings:
    +1,002
    ;) Ronald, hilarious - had me chuckling away. Very clever.

    :clap Brilliant.

    I think rather than get the repair man in, i'll just get an upgrade.
    Apparently, the parent company of said manufacturer offers upgrades, you just have to find them, they're not listed in the yellow pages.

    Lol, how short can they get?

    Soon we might have to work out Jay's response from emoticons alone.
     
  13. Ronald

    Ronald Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2004
    Messages:
    1,392
    Ratings:
    +50
    In computerese, it is gigo! Apparently you mis-spelled something. Had you made your connection with the manufacturer and followed the instructions to the letter, it would have worked! It has never failed when the correct application is done.
    Failure to properly upload is a common error.
    Give it another try! Most likely you will have the desired result.
    Ronald
     
  14. Booko

    Booko Deviled Hen

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2006
    Messages:
    18,523
    Ratings:
    +1,380
    Cute, but it looks like I'm several upgrades ahead of this model already. ;) I'm already beta-testing ver. 5.0
     
  15. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    51,723
    Ratings:
    +16,816
    Religion:
    God is in the Rain
    Computerese? Might HTML, C/C++, BASIC, JAVA, or someother be the word your looking for?

    That manuel didn't work for me. But then again, I have a "Nocturnal Module" installed in me, that is eternally a part of me, that make my model incaptable with the </SPAN>P-R-A-Y-E-R, /REPENTANCE, and /TORAH protocals. This model does not recognise the command /INCINERATED.
    But still, have a </SPAN>BLESSED DAY. May the Goddess smile upon you with this /FULL MOON tonight.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. Ronald

    Ronald Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2004
    Messages:
    1,392
    Ratings:
    +50
    Thank you, but GIGO is the term for "garbage in, garbage out", seems like you are one of the newer models that doesn't understand antique computerese.
    What you call a "Nocturnal Module" renders that model to have other desires and feels perfectly capable of operating indefinately without any assistance from the manufactuer. If this "Nocturnal Module" should ever meltdown, maybe you could try a recovery program!
    Shalom v todah rabah.
     
  17. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    51,723
    Ratings:
    +16,816
    Religion:
    God is in the Rain
    The Nocturnal Module itself is invulnerable to all threats. The casing its ran in can be damaged, but the OS its self is quite secure. It also includes several GUARDIAN SPIRITS to help keep things going.
    It is also depressed this evening, as it can't see the MOON, the symbol of its Manufactuer. But thier will be more FULL MOONS to cause joyous nights of celebration. The data is still present, but visuals are always welcome.
     
  18. CaptainXeroid

    CaptainXeroid Following Christ

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2004
    Messages:
    4,782
    Ratings:
    +755
    Thanks for sharing this! :D It is very important and quite clever for those who understand it.
     
  19. Feathers in Hair

    Feathers in Hair World's Tallest Hobbit

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2004
    Messages:
    14,605
    Ratings:
    +1,796
    I'm sure that you'd be just as willing to try our program, should yours fail. In the meantime, it is one of the graces of my path that its travellers can respect your 'program' without believing that ours is inferior, or suggesting that yours is. I'm sure that other 'programs' can do the same in return.
     
  20. angellous_evangellous

    Ratings:
    +0


    note: the recall notice obviously applies only to fundamentalist Christians, especially those who believe in the rapture
     
Loading...