Quiet, introverted people

[Kilgore Trout]

The actual problem with being introverted, is that most people are extroverted, and societally speaking, people generally view introversion as a disorder or weakness. This, of course, is ridiculous, as introversion/extroversion is nothing more than a simplistic way of describing whether you're externally or internally focused. It just comes down to the fact that most people are extroverted, and they really can't absorb/comprehend how another person can be so inwardly focused, and tend to focus on generalized descriptions that introverted people are "shy" or "socially awkward" or other such nonsense.

Many introverts are socially awkward, but more extroverts are - they just aren't self-concsious enough to realize this fact. If you are a confident, centered, secure introvert, you actually can have a significant impact on people around you - both extroverts and introverts. It's just hard to develop this self-image in the context of a culture which idolizes people who are constantly outgoing and chatty.

 

[Kathryn]

I think it's ridiculous to generalize and to try to force the concept that one type is superior to the other.

Introverted or extroverted - whether you are a positive or negative influence to those around you depends more on your character than it does your level of "chattiness" or whether or not you're "outgoing."

Either type can be great, or horrible, or anything in between. Neither type is superior or inferior to the other.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I think it's ridiculous to generalize and to try to force the concept that one type is superior to the other.

Introverted or extroverted - whether you are a positive or negative influence to those around you depends more on your character than it does your level of "chattiness" or whether or not you're "outgoing."

Either type can be great, or horrible, or anything in between. Neither type is superior or inferior to the other.

Indeed, but most people - and most people are extroverts - don't hold this view. Regardless, people need to realize that other people's views are irrelevant to your self-image. Although, I understand for many other introverts how it's hard to develop a positive self-image in a culture which marginalizes you.

Personally, as an extreme introvert, I have always gravitated towards extroverts, and identify with them much better. But, part of that is the fact that so many introverts buy into the vicimization perspective that they are somehow inferior, and end up playing that part. Plus, extroverts are much easier to read and, thus, are easier to play off of and create an association with empathetically.

In both business and personal life, I much prefer dealing with extroverts, as they communicate what they need/want/expect very readily, whether they realize it or not. Plus, they're generally more fun.

 

[Kathryn]

Yep, I can see your points - well made.

As an extrovert, personally I am often fascinated by introverts. Some of my very favorite people are introverts with a wicked sense of humor. It's like uncovering a buried treasure when I realize I've found one of these gems, and I try collecting as many as possible. I have several introverted friends whose humor is deliciously dry and cutting edge. I am so jealous.

That particular type and I tend to get along very well. They like my energy and uninhibited display of bawdy humor, and I like their sly, introspective sarcasm.

Good times, good times...

 

[Adramelek]

Do you find it hard to live in this world where anyone 'outgoing, charming, extroverted' is considered normal, and anyone 'reserved, quiet' is abnormal, weird?

I was a quiet child, very reserved. I mainly kept to myself, since I had such a great imagination I was able to entertain myself. However, I always had my share of friends but was always thought of as "weird", mainly because I was quiet and hardly ever smiled.

In high school things began to change. It was during this time that I accepted and was open about my Satanic nature and beliefs. At first most of my peers sort of shuned me, because I usually wore black and always doned my silver 1.5 diameter inverted cross. However, when they learned that I could smile and that I had a good sense of humor, plus was also a musician (guitarist at the time) and was fun to be around, most of them would look past my outward persona while others would find it interesting.

Now days, as an adult I am a semi-extrovert, I am still sort of quiet and reserved, and have a pretty conservative appearance when in the work place, and I never discuss religion or politics except with my mundane friends and only then if the subject comes up. With a lot of people I know, what they see is definately not what they get. :bat: Of course all of my solid friends know that I am a practicioner of the Black Arts.

Xeper.
/Adramelek\

 

[no-body]

In the west extroversion is seen as a very positive trait.

People immediately flash to the "he was always so quiet" when talking about serial killers for instance but will ignore people like Ted Bundy; incredibly charming and outgoing sociopaths.

 

[Mathematician]

I personally find this whole dichotomy a little forced and prefer to think of extroversion and introversion as a scale instead of a "right" or "left" hand choice. I agree that we can categorize personalities, but there's introverts and then there's introverts who simply can't handle social contact, etc.

From a personal perspective as someone who identifies as an ambivert - possessing near-equal traits of both - I'll concur with prior statements made about how people exhibiting either personality can be really splendid or god awful. It boils down to how they express those traits. I prefer to spend my times relaxing, talking philosophy, etc. with introverts because I find they are generally more analytical and willing to listen, and my times of fun I spend with extroverts.

 

[TC Mike]

I've always been an introvert, though I do talk to people more now than I used to. Oh and I forgot, its been too long, how are you supposed to make friends again? lol

 

[9Westy9]

Do you find it hard to live in this world where anyone 'outgoing, charming, extroverted' is considered normal, and anyone 'reserved, quiet' is abnormal, weird?

no. Then again I'm not as introverted as I used to be. Also I'm very weird anyway

 

[Debater Slayer]

no. Then again I'm not as introverted as I used to be. Also I'm very weird anyway

This guy speaks the truth. He is weird. I mean, who still watches BCFC in 2012, anyway?

I think I'm very introverted, and quiet, too. Usually, I just stay silent unless I have to talk, and I'm not very chatty with people who aren't close friends with me.

It can be pretty difficult to make new friends because of the aforementioned introversion, but one of the biggest pros of my silent nature is that I have this "thoughtful" aura surrounding me, which I just play along with instead of debunking by talking too much.

 

[dawny0826]

I have natural introverted tendencies and navigate towards introverted and gentle people. But, I slide into an extroverted role when I need to, with ease.

I'm far LESS intimidated by people in real life than I am online. I worry more about what people think of me online than in real life, which is stupid.

I'm the "bubbly" one in the offices in which I work. I love people.

 

[9Westy9]

This guy speaks the truth. He is weird. I mean, who still watches BCFC in 2012, anyway?

People loyal to their roots

I think I'm very introverted, and quiet, too. Usually, I just stay silent unless I have to talk, and I'm not very chatty with people who aren't close friends with me.

I'm the same. Although if I'm at a group where there a lot of introverted people (like anime society this year) I'm usually ok to start up conversations

It can be pretty difficult to make new friends because of the aforementioned introversion, but one of the biggest pros of my silent nature is that I have this "thoughtful" aura surrounding me, which I just play along with instead of debunking by talking too much.

Mysterious is good. Chicks dig that aura of mystery

 

[9Westy9]

I'm far LESS intimidated by people in real life than I am online. I worry more about what people think of me online than in real life, which is stupid.

that is a bit strange. It's usually the other way around

 

[dawny0826]

that is a bit strange. It's usually the other way around

I instruct, plan and manage for a living. I dont have a problem talking to people. It's kind of strange for me when people are avatars with "voices". Seems real, but you never know if it's really real. At least in person, you can look into someone's eyes, read body language and hear tone in their voice.

But I'm nonetheless interested in what people have to say.

 

[Quiddity]

My wife is an introvert. She is calculated, gentle, and sincere.

Some of the smartest people I know personally.

 

[Kathryn]

My husband and I are both extroverted. We both laugh with our mouths open, and never meet a stranger. But we both much prefer to just hang out together rather than with groups of people. Of course, together we talk each others' ears off and laugh a lot - we also do a lot of singing together in the car.

When we argue, it goes something like this:

Him: "You're starting to **** me off with that."

Me: "Really? I didn't even realize I was doing it. Wow, you're pretty ornery about it, and that sort of ****** ME off."

Him: "Well, stop it."

Me: "OK. Hey, you want to go see a movie?"

Him: "Yeah, that would be GREAT! Let's go!"

NO MOODINESS. No wondering what's going on in the other person's head. No pouting or withdrawing.

I love it.

 

[Quiddity]

My husband and I are both extroverted. We both laugh with our mouths open, and never meet a stranger. But we both much prefer to just hang out together rather than with groups of people. Of course, together we talk each others' ears off and laugh a lot - we also do a lot of singing together in the car.

When we argue, it goes something like this:

Him: "You're starting to **** me off with that."

Me: "Really? I didn't even realize I was doing it. Wow, you're pretty ornery about it, and that sort of ****** ME off."

Him: "Well, stop it."

Me: "OK. Hey, you want to go see a movie?"

Him: "Yeah, that would be GREAT! Let's go!"

NO MOODINESS. No wondering what's going on in the other person's head. No pouting or withdrawing.

I love it.

Love it!

 

[dyanaprajna2011]

Do you find it hard to live in this world where anyone 'outgoing, charming, extroverted' is considered normal, and anyone 'reserved, quiet' is abnormal, weird?

Being an introvert, and one who likes to be by myself more often than not, not only do I find it not hard at all, it almost seems to me to defeat the purpose of being an introvert. Well, I guess introvert doesn't necessarily mean anti-social, but I have Asperger's Syndrome, so I tend to try to avoid social situations anyway. So, I guess my answer would be no, and honestly, I don't mind being considered weird or abnormal.

 

[Renji]

My husband and I are both extroverted. We both laugh with our mouths open, and never meet a stranger. But we both much prefer to just hang out together rather than with groups of people. Of course, together we talk each others' ears off and laugh a lot - we also do a lot of singing together in the car.

When we argue, it goes something like this:

Him: "You're starting to **** me off with that."

Me: "Really? I didn't even realize I was doing it. Wow, you're pretty ornery about it, and that sort of ****** ME off."

Him: "Well, stop it."

Me: "OK. Hey, you want to go see a movie?"

Him: "Yeah, that would be GREAT! Let's go!"

NO MOODINESS. No wondering what's going on in the other person's head. No pouting or withdrawing.

I love it.

So maybe you both sing something like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0​OcOiT_cmJ0

 

[Dezzie]

It can be hard finding friends... I personally don't get out and go to parties or anything related to that... most of the people I work with do. For me, it's very difficult finding common interests with people around me because I am so quiet. When I was in school people used to say things like, "You are quiet because you think you are too good for the rest of us"... that has never been the case though. It can get very lonely at times but honestly... I have my husband and my two puppies! That's really all I need to be happy...