YmirGF
Bodhisattva in Recovery
The prison camp is in the dry interior of British Columbia and is surrounded by pristine mountains on three side. The views are as picturesque as things get, aside from the double fence and barbed wire. Cancel them out, and it was like being at a provincial park with million-dollar vistas.
I’m guessing the actual camp is on about 30–50 acres of land, so it is a good size place. There is one road in and while I was there, visitors were not allowed due to Covid-19 restrictions. To make up for this, staff were good enough to allow Zoom and Face Time meetings for guys to connect with loved ones.
One thing I wanted to say was that both Jim and I took on leadership positions within days of arriving at the camp. Jim had 25 years experience as a restaurant manager and was quickly made lead hand in the kitchen. The kitchen staff had a key position in our prison because the corrections officers, med staff and the inmates ate the same food -- it was that edible. The point is that Jim became a “go to” person with the staff, as he ran the kitchen under the chef, who was a hired contractor. Because I was connected at the hip to Jim, I was privy to all sorts of juicy gossip and general “head’s up” things coming down the pipeline.
There were no Machiavellian designs for Jim and me to “take over” the camp, rather, we grabbed opportunity when it presented itself and because we were responsible and reliable the staff quickly learned to trust us (well, as far as they would “trust” any inmate, of course). Ah, wait, you folks won’t likely understand this next element. You see, in prison you are your ACTIONS because your credibility has been removed via incarceration. It’s like society has rebooted your character, and you are back to zero health and mana and the task is to literally rebuild character.
Prison officials have learned to take the words of inmates with several grains of salt, as so many are damaged goods and serial liars. Hell, we were all “damaged goods” and the way back out of that self-created hole is by doing what you say you will do, following through on tasks given, not making excuses and taking responsibility when one screws up – immediately. Prison officials are specifically looking for these behavioural changes and take note when then see them manifest, but also take note when no changes are seen. That last part is what you do NOT want on your permanent record. It was endlessly surprising how many men in prison seemed unaware or didn’t care about those notes on their permanent record.
For security, there was one guard on duty at each door during meals, in the dining hall. I was assigned to position 1, at table 1, and so I talked with a guard every time I ate, and after a while got to know some of them quite well. Due to Covid-19 seating arrangements, most guys sat nowhere near a guard nor wanted to. I considered it a privilege as I learned all sorts of interesting tidbits sitting in that location.
The thing is that most inmates or "clients" did not have this kind of direct access to the staff, so both Jim and I began to accrue something akin to political capital with the staff and inmates. Jim through the kitchen and 12 Step, me with the two 12-Step programs I was running, and then a bit later in my work in Forestry. Coincidently, the work team I was accepted on in Forestry just "clicked" as we enjoyed working with each other, but more importantly, we worked very well together.
I was working in an area that required mechanical experience, whereas I have people experience. I helped the lead hand by organizing what the other guys were doing. It's “what I do” and be damned if everything just worked. Within about 3 weeks, there was a distinct bump in our output. The warden was so impressed he brought in a film crew to capture us at work. (We unanimously declined the invitation to be filmed.) This isn't all me, of course, it was about a crew working together and how quickly we could process what we were working on.
One day in late August, I was having a tizzy fit over something and dragged Jim out for a run on the jogging track. Yes, there is a track (and several fields). Jim listened to me whine and snivel for a few minutes and then got forceful to snap me out of my emotional spiral. He said, "Stop. Paul, you and I have way more juice in this place than I think you realize." (I had been complaining about how unfair something was and was giving into the sense of powerlessness.) Jim got my attention, but this guy, 20 years younger than me, says something that hit home. "Paul, we have a pretty rare opportunity to do some good here. People already approach both of us for advice and just to talk because they know we are different. We need to be examples. So, lose the attitude and ****-can the self-pity."
I don’t think I looked at incarceration the same way, after that moment.
One oddity that occurs in the life of some prisoners is the prospect of parole or early release under strict conditions. What I saw though was guys going on an emotional roller coaster, especially once their release date had been given. That is where guys really began to fray as reality did not meet their expectations.
The first time I was physically threatened was by a young man who was already cleared for parole the following week. (Let that sink in for a bit.) We each had caseworkers and my worker happened to call me about an hour after the altercation, and so I told him what had happened and that any videotape would back my side of the story. My worker was a very large South Asian man, in peak physical shape and about 35 years old. Chillingly, when I told him about this fellow, he said quite quietly, “If he lays a finger on you, we will **** him up.” I thanked him and then insisted I didn’t want anything to happen to the fellow, but to perhaps keep an eye on him until he was to leave. (Nothing did come of this, but I did make sure to have someone with me if I was out walking at night. To hear the guard flat out say that. Wow, just wow. Weirdly, it didn’t make me feel any safer.)
In some respects, I got very lucky, both that time and one other where I was threatened by yet another young inmate. Both instances were scary for me, as I’m not used to that kind of interpersonal interaction. The point is, in both cases, they just as easily could have just hauled off and belted me, so, at least they had the courtesy to show me they were unhappy campers instead.
I’m guessing the actual camp is on about 30–50 acres of land, so it is a good size place. There is one road in and while I was there, visitors were not allowed due to Covid-19 restrictions. To make up for this, staff were good enough to allow Zoom and Face Time meetings for guys to connect with loved ones.
One thing I wanted to say was that both Jim and I took on leadership positions within days of arriving at the camp. Jim had 25 years experience as a restaurant manager and was quickly made lead hand in the kitchen. The kitchen staff had a key position in our prison because the corrections officers, med staff and the inmates ate the same food -- it was that edible. The point is that Jim became a “go to” person with the staff, as he ran the kitchen under the chef, who was a hired contractor. Because I was connected at the hip to Jim, I was privy to all sorts of juicy gossip and general “head’s up” things coming down the pipeline.
There were no Machiavellian designs for Jim and me to “take over” the camp, rather, we grabbed opportunity when it presented itself and because we were responsible and reliable the staff quickly learned to trust us (well, as far as they would “trust” any inmate, of course). Ah, wait, you folks won’t likely understand this next element. You see, in prison you are your ACTIONS because your credibility has been removed via incarceration. It’s like society has rebooted your character, and you are back to zero health and mana and the task is to literally rebuild character.
Prison officials have learned to take the words of inmates with several grains of salt, as so many are damaged goods and serial liars. Hell, we were all “damaged goods” and the way back out of that self-created hole is by doing what you say you will do, following through on tasks given, not making excuses and taking responsibility when one screws up – immediately. Prison officials are specifically looking for these behavioural changes and take note when then see them manifest, but also take note when no changes are seen. That last part is what you do NOT want on your permanent record. It was endlessly surprising how many men in prison seemed unaware or didn’t care about those notes on their permanent record.
For security, there was one guard on duty at each door during meals, in the dining hall. I was assigned to position 1, at table 1, and so I talked with a guard every time I ate, and after a while got to know some of them quite well. Due to Covid-19 seating arrangements, most guys sat nowhere near a guard nor wanted to. I considered it a privilege as I learned all sorts of interesting tidbits sitting in that location.
The thing is that most inmates or "clients" did not have this kind of direct access to the staff, so both Jim and I began to accrue something akin to political capital with the staff and inmates. Jim through the kitchen and 12 Step, me with the two 12-Step programs I was running, and then a bit later in my work in Forestry. Coincidently, the work team I was accepted on in Forestry just "clicked" as we enjoyed working with each other, but more importantly, we worked very well together.
I was working in an area that required mechanical experience, whereas I have people experience. I helped the lead hand by organizing what the other guys were doing. It's “what I do” and be damned if everything just worked. Within about 3 weeks, there was a distinct bump in our output. The warden was so impressed he brought in a film crew to capture us at work. (We unanimously declined the invitation to be filmed.) This isn't all me, of course, it was about a crew working together and how quickly we could process what we were working on.
One day in late August, I was having a tizzy fit over something and dragged Jim out for a run on the jogging track. Yes, there is a track (and several fields). Jim listened to me whine and snivel for a few minutes and then got forceful to snap me out of my emotional spiral. He said, "Stop. Paul, you and I have way more juice in this place than I think you realize." (I had been complaining about how unfair something was and was giving into the sense of powerlessness.) Jim got my attention, but this guy, 20 years younger than me, says something that hit home. "Paul, we have a pretty rare opportunity to do some good here. People already approach both of us for advice and just to talk because they know we are different. We need to be examples. So, lose the attitude and ****-can the self-pity."
I don’t think I looked at incarceration the same way, after that moment.
One oddity that occurs in the life of some prisoners is the prospect of parole or early release under strict conditions. What I saw though was guys going on an emotional roller coaster, especially once their release date had been given. That is where guys really began to fray as reality did not meet their expectations.
The first time I was physically threatened was by a young man who was already cleared for parole the following week. (Let that sink in for a bit.) We each had caseworkers and my worker happened to call me about an hour after the altercation, and so I told him what had happened and that any videotape would back my side of the story. My worker was a very large South Asian man, in peak physical shape and about 35 years old. Chillingly, when I told him about this fellow, he said quite quietly, “If he lays a finger on you, we will **** him up.” I thanked him and then insisted I didn’t want anything to happen to the fellow, but to perhaps keep an eye on him until he was to leave. (Nothing did come of this, but I did make sure to have someone with me if I was out walking at night. To hear the guard flat out say that. Wow, just wow. Weirdly, it didn’t make me feel any safer.)
In some respects, I got very lucky, both that time and one other where I was threatened by yet another young inmate. Both instances were scary for me, as I’m not used to that kind of interpersonal interaction. The point is, in both cases, they just as easily could have just hauled off and belted me, so, at least they had the courtesy to show me they were unhappy campers instead.
