Sinks Canyon said:
You made me smile. It's a gift to do that in life. It's a way of life, IMHO, to be able to do that over a computer.
I am learning much, as well. I have focused a lot on death and it has helped me live. I at first found the concept from Soygal Rinpoche in The Tibetan Book on Living and Dying frightening..to imagine your death...but then I became more and more relaxed with it. It lets me know nothing is permanent and that all things do indeed change except impermanency. I know that my life has to be dedicated to finding the truth and peeling back the layers of deception. Sometimes, I feel like a stranger in this planet. Sometimes I feel as though I am not part of this human race. Do you feel like that the further you go in your meditations? By that, I mean that I do not find attractions to things of this world as others do. I love to vacation in places where the scenery is beautiful or around animals.
I am probably not making sense. I have to go to bed.
Thank you again for the smile. And thank you for the discussion. I have yearned to talk with this with someone else who is on a path.
I can respond to you and to Paul (hey, brah!) at the same time. I used to feel like an "alien" in reference to my relationships with others before I began practicing, and the more that I practice, I feel very much attuned to others and knowledgable of our similarities.
If I were to feel like I were somewhat different than others, I would worry that I'd be susceptible to undue and harsh judgmentalism. Therefore, one of my practices is to visualize someone to my right that I feel an attraction for and consider dear to my heart; I then visualize someone to my left that I have felt a disdain for and would consider an adversary (this could also be someone who I think has terrible morals); I then visualize a complete stranger in front of me (I try to remember who I saw at the bank, or the drive-thru, or in the car next to me, etc.)...............and then I offer sentiments of loving kindness and compassion to
all of them. The challenge is for me to offer loving kindness with the same genuine motivation to each person.
When I have achieved that, I feel that there is no difference between all of them except my perception of them. That makes me feel better.
That is very much a Mahayana view of ethics, meditation, and compassion. But, the individual liberation feels very much like I am not of this world..........and quite "alien." I can carry on with my day in my carefully constructed perception of reality, and suddenly the universe reminds me that I have become too attached to my perception. Suddenly, I'm thrown into what feels like an abyss where I don't know which way is up and I can't grasp on to anything.
As Paul suggested, stripping away attachments to concepts and to our routines can terrify us.......myself included. In the Vajrayana view, the universe does not compromise with us when we are seeking enlightenment. It is cruel (seemingly) when it strips away our false senses of security. What we have considered real actually is not, and this is where the journey
really begins to get interesting.
Paul has had more experience with meditation and these studies than I, so consider that since he feels like he's barely scratching the surface, in comparison I feel like I've just found the surface and have pointed at it.
But, discovering the surface has proven to be such a powerful and life-affirming experience so far.
I have almost finished the second book in Reginald Ray's series on Tibetan Buddhism that discusses the secrets of Tantra (which goes far beyond the popularized sex techniques), and there is a story in the appendix that is told by Dr. Mitchell Levy of the death of His Holiness the sixteenth Karmapa in Zion, Illinois. The doctor and the nursing staff in ICU had been very used to the signs and the sequence of death in our western culture, but Dr. Levy discussed how His Holiness shattered all of their attitudes and perceptions on the process of death.
He just kept dying and coming back, dying and coming back, dying and coming back........at will. And even though he had all the signs of imminent death, he not once showed suffering or pain. He could be vomiting up blood and could have severe difficulty breathing while his lungs were failing, and he would still radiate this boundless compassion and kindness toward his students, the ICU staff, and Dr. Levy.
When he finally did die, Trungpa Rinpoche, who was there, encouraged Dr. Levy to come into the room and feel the warmth over the heart of His Holiness. The doctor did so, and felt it. He warmed up his own hands, hovered his hand across to each side of the ribs, and then went back to the heart. There, above his heart, was His Holiness, and the doctor was told that he is in samadhi. He is not to be disturbed.
I could go on and on about this story, because there is much more, but I encourage anyone to read it. The book is called, "Secrets of the Varya World" by Reginald Ray. Dr. Levy's story is hugely inspiring and beautiful.
We are discouraged in our culture to talk about death, and especially OUR death, even though in the end we all will take that path. I have started to become more convinced that our culture's preoccupation with sex and violence pales in comparison to our neurotic behavior that sorely attempts to shield us from the reality of death.
Sogyal Rinpoche infers that we should always be prepared to die, because
1) it will happen, and
2) because we don't know when it will be our time. The Tibetan Book of the Dead showed me to consider every time I wake up, or walk out the door, or greet my husband when he comes home, etc. that I should ask myself the question,
If I were to die today, how should I live?
Asking that question and continuing contemplating it always brings me back to the immediacy of the moment and to have greater appreciation for what is in front of me. Death should ideally not be a scary topic to discuss. It should be one as a base for a feeling of liberation.
Peace,
Mystic
