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My story - From Christian to Atheist

The_Evelyonian

Old-School Member
So simply you were testing God!
You were saying Oh God come and show me that you are there...

It's God who test his servants not the other way round.

Asking for divine guidance is not uncommon when someone is beginning to lose their faith. I really don't see how it could be labeled "testing" god. Testing god would fall more along the lines of, "God, if you exist then appear before me right now."

No, when someone asks for divine guidance, they are simply asking for help.
 
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The_Evelyonian

Old-School Member
Now, some of you more staunch Atheist veterans may think me silly for sharing this and for having such an emotional and mental attachment to something so silly as god....but the truth is that I did...and it is an experience that I can never discount or forget, so even if it may seem crazy or dumb in hindsight I think it's important to share.

It isn't silly in the least. You never know, in sharing the story of your struggle, you may help someone who is still going through their own.
 

RevOxley_501

Well-Known Member
RevOxley


But just because your god was made up, how can you hold all other gods to the same standard of being made up? Why do you believe that no god exists just because you have this standard that no god can exist? How do you know your standard is true?

Because the standard is that of evidence. The standard of evidence, by it's very nature, proves itself.


I have two questions to this
1: do you think some believers in God are logical in there faculties just as much as you are NOW if not MORE? Why or why not?
2: why were you NOT open to the possibility that there was NO God when you were believing in God? Or why was the idea of no God unfathomable to you?

1:I see what you want me to say, but I'm going to go with what I truly think here: No, probably not - at least not in the realm of gods existence. The faith standard is a weaker logical standard than the evidence one.

2:Because my mental faculties were unable to handle the idea, much like a heroin addict can't fathom life without heroin I couldn't fathom life without god - especially considering my convoluted experiences and my sense of purpose that was derived entirely from my relations with god.




Define empiricism? Or give me more elaborate details on exactly what you mean and what you would want?

Empiricism in the way that I use it here is the theory that knowledge arises from sensible experiences that cannot be explained by psychosomatic phenomena.

1: What made you realize the importance of evidence in regards to all things?
2: And why did you not realize that sooner?

1: not sure exactly...perhaps is was the overwhelming lack thereof previously?

2: I wasn't willing to.



Why shouldn’t you have to tell me that?



1: do you still have a need for purpose and understanding?
2: is understanding STILL out of your scope? If yes, ok, if no, tell me your understanding?
3: have you found a NEW purpose? If so, what is it?
If no, do you believe that you HAVE a purpose? If so, what do you think it MAY be?
And if you think you have NO purpose, why do you think that?

1: Yes, but it is the purpose that I choose.

2: To some degree - yes

3:I've created a new purpose for myself - that being to improve the world for the generations that come after me.

1: are you saying you had or have a mental disease? If so, are you saying that every person who has an experience with god/angels/demons has a disease? If yes, how do you know? If no, ok.
2: your saying the physical symptoms were caused by the mental mind or emotions, but what was the mental state and emotions caused by?

1: By some standards I probably did have a mental disease...I'm not going to lay a blanket statement on everyone that has been in similar situations, but most psychiatrists would probably find a way to diagnose a condition such as that. Although I'm not sure disease is the right word...phenomena perhaps...anomaly?

2: Belief coupled with desire.

1: How do you know which is more probable? One person can say it’s more probable that you had a real experience and you may say it was more probable that it was illusion. So how do you know which is more probable?
2: how do you know the mind is THAT powerful to create audible voices and apparitions?
3: how do you know these angels/demons/audible voice of God was not really going on THROUGH the mind and not just BY the mind? Sort of like saying you heard a sound go in your ear, but the ear did not CAUSE the sound, it was real, it just went THROUGH the ear.

1: Occam's razor
2: All of the faculties of the eyes, ears, and other senses are processed by the very same mind. You may have to check the DSM for more information.

3:The explanation that they did is less reasonable than the explanation that they did not.


1: How did you get your faith to be bigger than others faith, when those others want the same amount of faith in order to experience these things?
2: also how do you know it was your faith that made delusional experiences and not real things happening because of your faith?

1: Show me those others.
2: I think we've already covered this.


1: Is a lack of faith the reason why they don’t experience? If so, how did you get your faith to be bigger then theres?
2: what about people who did not even TRY at all to exercise faith and they experienced stuff? Those cases exist, how do you look at them?
3: how do you know it is “crazy” to experience angels/demons/audible voice of God?

1: Perhaps I should have said it was their belief that was lacking, not their faith (or desire) - faith being the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen takes quite the turn when you think about it as an attempt to convince ones self of things that may not be true.

2: I haven't had the opportunity to examine those situations.

3: Crazy is a psychological abnormality. This is a psychological abnormality.

“It was like any other week at youth group, when, during worship, the Lord asked me to do something. As I pressed in, the Lord told me I was holding a bucket and to go around and pour something over everyone. Feeling kind of silly, I went over to Jon and told him what the Lord had told me, and he just said to do it. I went around the whole church pouring something over people, thinking that I must look crazy. When I got back to Jon, I asked what he was seeing. I was amazed when he told me that there were two big angels on stage and that there was water running over the stage down onto the whole sancuary. The water was mixed with oil, and being only ankle deep even the people lying on the ground praising the Lord were not fully submersed in it. I was going around with the bucket actually scooping up this water and oil and washing it over everyone there. Even though I looked silly in the physical, I was doing something in the spirit realm that was much more profound. All that the Lord told me was that I had a bucket, but I believed and obeyed, and after hearing what was going on the spirit realm, I am so glad I followed.”

Been there, done that...;)

In the book he mentions a few other coroborating experiences. I myself had a few corroborating experiences. But anyway, how do you explain THOSE KIND of experiences? Remember, these kind are not like seeing an angel or hearing God, it’s TWO people hearing or seeing the same thing during the same experience or event. [/quote]
 

Orias

Left Hand Path
You are correct so far as I can see...but it takes baby steps does it not?

Well of course, but some babies never take steps :D.


I'd argue that all of us do.

Only if you treat life like a puzzle.

Well thanks, I think....

No need to think, it was sincere :D

I can see that as true, though I don't feel that is applicable to me at this point in my life.

Well of course not, you are anew, more rational being :D

For the record - I'm sure I am comparatively a neophyte - but the LHP had a considerable impact on my philosophy of life as both a Christian and as an unbeliever...but I think that may be a story for another day.

Why not a story for now? Do you read up on LHP philosophy often? I would like to hear what you think as an 'ex-Christian'.:D
 

FluentYank3825

Ironic Idealist
...when I truly committed myself to my faith the only influence that was put on me was that of the Bible and my own self, I made the decision to follow it and believe it and my parents played a minimal role in my Christian walk (or much of anything to be honest).

My parents too. When my Mom met my step-father she encouraged my older sister, brother, and me to be baptized into the LDS (Mormon) Church. As time went on, all of them gradually disaffiliated themselves from it, while I adhered myself more strictly to it. For the longest time, the Mormon faith kept me stable in a turbulent sea of change and pain. I believed it was true and lived it to the best of my ability. Now though, as I have become more educated and have seen the imperfect, human side of religion, I have since become more skeptical and have chosen to distance myself from it. My dad was never too keen on me being Mormon, although he never told me to stop being one, while my Mom, after her disaffilation, doesn't care what religious views I adopt. Even my strictly Roman Catholic grandmother doesn't seek to change what I believe. My religious decisions have largely been my own.
 

Pax

Member
This is certainly a powerful story. I've been atheist since the age of 17 - Christianity just stopped making sense. I tried going to different denominations and tried reading the Bible, and the whole thing just seemed bats**t insane. I mean: the idea that some sky fairy had a son, who will telepathically cleanse you of evil forces if you just "believe" is far out. It doesn't even work as good science fiction. Even the ancient Greek and Roman myths made more sense than that.
 

FluentYank3825

Ironic Idealist
This is certainly a powerful story. I've been atheist since the age of 17 - Christianity just stopped making sense. I tried going to different denominations and tried reading the Bible, and the whole thing just seemed bats**t insane. I mean: the idea that some sky fairy had a son, who will telepathically cleanse you of evil forces if you just "believe" is far out. It doesn't even work as good science fiction. Even the ancient Greek and Roman myths made more sense than that.

Over a third of the world's population profess some belief in this "Cult of Joshua the Anointed One."
 

RevOxley_501

Well-Known Member
Me for example, I have not heard God’s audible voice or seen angels and demons appear before my naked eye. I would love to experience this though. Now does that mean I have not experienced nothing? No, I have experienced the “Holy Spirit” in diverse ways, tongues, warm heat flowing through me, joy unimaginable, and some other stuff as well. And I was a guy who use to pray 5 hours A DAY, I’m not kidding. I pray probably no more than a half hour a day now because of work and being married and being on here talking and debating as well and reading allot. But how did you get your faith bigger than mine in order to experience these things?

5 Hours? Reboot and callback -surely that won't cut it.



I don’t understand? Explain the difference between belief and faith?

These are loose definitions so if you non-theists will please forgive me...this is just for the sake of argument from a Christian perspective.

Belief is more general, you believe in god, you believe in Jesus...you believe in the power of those beings.

Faith is different in that it is what you may place in those beings with the expectation or knowledge that it is well placed. If you are praying in faith then you pray knowing that something will happen, not just believing that it could.

Like i said...very very loose definitions, nuances really.




Those kind of experiences (corroborating spiritual experiences to recap) are quite numerous, I have even had some, and I have talked to people who had some and I have read about some. They are worth examining before you make a full blown decision here. Even the bible talks about some of them.

I'm not sure all of them can be considered...so I'll stick with empiricism as the golden standard.




Just because it’s a psychological abnormality does not make it abnormal to believers and to the spirits and angels, demons, departed souls and God in the spirit world. So in light of that, it would only be abnormal to the world of psychologists, but why trust them? Even if it is crazy, ok, so does crazy = it being false?




“It was like any other week at youth group, when, during worship, the Lord asked me to do something. As I pressed in, the Lord told me I was holding a bucket and to go around and pour something over everyone. Feeling kind of silly, I went over to Jon and told him what the Lord had told me, and he just said to do it. I went around the whole church pouring something over people, thinking that I must look crazy. When I got back to Jon, I asked what he was seeing. I was amazed when he told me that there were two big angels on stage and that there was water running over the stage down onto the whole sancuary. The water was mixed with oil, and being only ankle deep even the people lying on the ground praising the Lord were not fully submersed in it. I was going around with the bucket actually scooping up this water and oil and washing it over everyone there. Even though I looked silly in the physical, I was doing something in the spirit realm that was much more profound. All that the Lord told me was that I had a bucket, but I believed and obeyed, and after hearing what was going on the spirit realm, I am so glad I followed.”

< you have done this what these two guys did in the youth group? Tell me about it? Also what do you think of this corroborating experience that they had? God tells the one guy he has a bucket which he cannot see, and tells him to pour it on the people, next, the other guy sees water flowing on the people, this is a corroborating experience, giving it credit to being really happening IN ANOTHER WORLD, namely the spirit realm. How do you interpret this experience or explain it away?

I've experienced similar things. The power of suggestion is strong. I'd rather not go into my specific experiences at this point in time. I challenge you to do some research on magnetism.
 

RevOxley_501

Well-Known Member
RevOxley



What do you mean? Explain some more?

That's my ******** way of saying that 5 hours of prayer daily isn't exactly what I'd consider devotion.


Ok, that is interesting. So this is why I did not experience seeing the angels and hearing the audible voice of God then?


I can't possibly speculate as to why you didn't...but don't feel bad, you are better off that way, I promise!

if you want to see an angel so bad -- here: :angel2:



So it’s an eager expectation that won’t die coupled with strong desire or hunger?

Faith is what makes you stick to a set of beliefs even in the face of evidence to the contrary. It does not waver.



Well I am not saying one should examine EVERY single corroborating spiritual experience, of course not, you would be doing it till dooms day. What I am saying is that it’s worthy to examine at least just a few, if not one good one.

Corroborated experiences, much like anecdote, are unreliable because they rely on the memories of men that have already contaminated themselves by discussing the event in question - wouldn't hold up in court.

Because of that I won't even bother with your first two stories in your last post - But I will address the Word of Knowledge one:

As an individual that has given quite a few accurate Word of Knowledge to my "congregants" in the past I know that it is very easy to gather an immense amount of knowledge about an individual just by looking at them, their walk, gait, the way they talk, who they are around etc...Psychics and other crooks use this often as a way to fish a crowd for information. I've done it, however unintentionally...but when I notice certain things about an individual I find myself very likely to make an accurate prediction and blame my intuition on the Holy Spirit as opposed to my own intuition. Another been there, done that deal.
 

blackout

Violet.
For the record - I'm sure I am comparatively a neophyte - but the LHP had a considerable impact on my philosophy of life as both a Christian and as an unbeliever...but I think that may be a story for another day.

I'd be interesting in hearing more about this.

If it's somewhere in the thread already,
just point the way. :)
 

Orias

Left Hand Path
So, your saying these two guys had the same corroborating experience by the power of suggestion?
1: how is the power of suggestion THAT strong?
2: what about corroborating spiritual experiences that the two people WERE NOT TOGETHER either in the same place, room or meeting? What about those? How do you explain those away? The power of suggestion would not apply to those, so, in regard to THOSE cases, how do you explain them? For example here are a few that come to mind.

Since this is a long story, I won&#8217;t quote it all, I will summarize it and then give you the source. God sends an angel to a man named Cornelius, the angel tells him to send to Joppa to get a man named peter at the house of a man named Simon whose house is by the sea. After this God gave a vision to Peter the apostle of Jesus telling him not to call anything unclean that God has made clean (meaning go to the gentiles) then before the men who Cornelius sent to peter get there, the Holy Spirit tells peter that men are coming and to go with them. They come, peter meets them and goes with them, and hears about the angel Cornelius seen and then peter tells him the message of Jesus. Source Acts 10 - Passage*Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com

Now, my questions for you are this:

1: why did Cornelius see an angel if he was not &#8220;EXPECTING (faith)&#8221; to see an angel?
2: if the angel was a projection or illusion from his mind, or from his mind having &#8220;faith&#8221; why was it that this angel GOT IT RIGHT when he named a place (Joppa) a house by the sea and the owner of that house and the main person he wanted him to see, peter? Why was this angel CORRECT about all this? Why was all of that CONFIRMED to be absolutely true?
3: why was it that right after this BEFORE the men came to peter&#8217;s house, peter had a vision that taught him to go to the gentiles (Cornelius was one of them) and the Spirit told peter that men were coming and to go with them? And that was confirmed true, men came.

Here is another experience for example:

Paul who was a vicious Christian persecutor, he was a Pharisaic Jew. While going on the Damascus road to imprison some Christians he UNEXPECTEDLY met by Jesus in the sky with a bright light. He was NOT expecting (faith) that. Then a man named Ananias the Lord speaks to him and tells him to go to the house of Judas on straight street and ask for a man from tarsus named Paul. Also the Lord tells Ananias that Paul is seeing a vision of Ananias come and lay his hands on him so he can see again because of the blinding light experience. Anyway, Ananias obeys and goes to this house and finds paul there, JUST as the Lord said. Source Acts 10 - Passage*Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com

My questions for you are this:
1: if Paul was seeing a hallucination, why did the hallucination make him physical blind?
2: why did Paul experience this if he did not have &#8220;faith&#8221; to experience this?
3: why did Ananias speech from God CONFIRM to be correct about a HOUSE and a STREET and a man named PAUL who would be there? If this was just a illusion, why was this illusion correct about REAL physical things?



Again...what are you trying to prove?

Are you trying to give meaning behind what is, and why things happen?
 

linwood

Well-Known Member
Now, some of you more staunch Atheist veterans may think me silly for sharing this and for having such an emotional and mental attachment to something so silly as god....but the truth is that I did...and it is an experience that I can never discount or forget, so even if it may seem crazy or dumb in hindsight I think it's important to share.

I am a staunch atheist veteran.
:)

I have the deepest respect for what you`ve taken yourself through to get where you are today.

You are mistaken that your story is a rare one though, I`ve heard it many times and am always a bit amazed that such a hardcore theist could actually work himself out of it as you have.

The biggest "blessing" of my atheism is that I`ve never had to go through the deconversion you`ve described as I was always an atheist.
I got off easy.

Thanks for sharing your story.
 

RevOxley_501

Well-Known Member
I'd be interesting in hearing more about this.

If it's somewhere in the thread already,
just point the way. :)


I haven't touched on it yet...

It might take a while to gather my thoughts, decide what I'm willing to say about it, and write it up...but I intend to.
 

RevOxley_501

Well-Known Member
Yes, that, AND something else, I am trying to show my view to be most plausible THROUGH asking all these questions.

In short, I disagree with atheism and I think he left his God unjustifiably. I think it was a lack of being careful. There is some things he needs to account for BEFORE he leaves his faith, and I am surprised he did not fully account for them BEFORE leaving the ship.

One more thing, athiesm is not a lack of faith, it's a lack of faith IN something and then diverting that faith INTO SOMETHING ELSE. So your never WITHOUT faith.


Perhaps you'd be more successful by making some sort of contention and drop this question nonsense--- I've never seen anyone succeed in proving that believing in god is more reasonable than believing in evidence that is empirical....that would negate the whole need for faith...I'm not sure why you don't seem to understand that.

I can assure you that I considered many possibilities and made every attempt not to stop believing yet there is no possible way to redeem the Christian god...if perhaps you'd like to discuss the reasonable possibilities of a deistic god then that's fine, unnecessary but fine.

In other words...get to your point...please? Or this will never end.
 
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