I currently feel my vocation is to be the black sheep Jesus Christ who announces my Father is the biggest mass murderer and sadist in Scripture, killing everyone with a curse of original sin, giving us a death sentence and agony for a crime we are innocent of, torturing scared traumatized people with creatures from the bottomless pit in revelation, torturing people till they long for death, but death is not granted them, and he tosses people into lakes of fire, and warns of wailing and gnashing of teeth.
My Father in Scripture, is displaying sadistic, psychopathic, cruelty of a monster indifferent to , or not feeling any remorse for creatures in chronic agony, for causing creatures the worst terrors and torture.
Isaiah says God created evil.
Sometimes , the most noble thing one can do is fight the source of all evil and misery: my Father , who tortured and murdered everyone , with the curse of original sin, for a crime they are innocent of, and my nonsensical Father would claim to be just.
As long as a sadistic monster controls Heaven, earth will be stuck in agony. Some one more generous, more merciful, some one with a plan to save and make euphoric dreams come true for everyone, some one who doesn't torture people in hell, some one who speaks up and doesn't leave people feeling abandoned, may God's omnipotence and office be given to the most loving soul, who will use it to bring salvation to all.