Just another boring and lonely day for me

[Massimo2002]

Today I stayed home to relax but man am I ever board here without internet there's nothing to do here except watch the same boring movies on dvd that I've seen a million times and to make matters worse I am totally alone this makes me irritated and emotionally empty but strangely relaxed. Now I am trying to figure out who or what to blame myself ? Edmonton ? My parents ? All three ? I don't know. I do have very slow internet on my phone with data but it's just so painfully slow to the point where it is very limited. I do wish that I had someone to watch my favorite films with anyway that's about it I just wanted to get this off my mind thanks for reading.

 

[Revoltingest]

There are always books about
antique engines & machine tools.
But then....can you calm down
enuf to sleep at nite?

 

[JustGeorge]

Today I stayed home to relax but man am I ever board here without internet there's nothing to do here except watch the same boring movies on dvd that I've seen a million times and to make matters worse I am totally alone this makes me irritated and emotionally empty but strangely relaxed. Now I am trying to figure out who or what to blame myself ? Edmonton ? My parents ? All three ? I don't know. I do have very slow internet on my phone with data but it's just so painfully slow to the point where it is very limited. I do wish that I had someone to watch my favorite films with anyway that's about it I just wanted to get this off my mind thanks for reading.

Being alone sucks.

I'm not sure finding blame is worth it.

More importantly, is there anything you can do about it?

 

[Massimo2002]

Being alone sucks.

I'm not sure finding blame is worth it.

More importantly, is there anything you can do about it?

I don't really think that there is anything that I can do about it the only hope I have is if I randomly meet people outside that I am able to connect with because of similarities.

 

[JustGeorge]

I don't really think that there is anything that I can do about it the only hope I have is if I randomly meet people outside that I am able to connect with because of similarities.

Do you get to go out much?

 

[Massimo2002]

Do you get to go out much?

Yes I go out but I don't know what would count as much ?

 

[JustGeorge]

Yes I go out but I don't know what would count as much ?

That's a good question.

Hm.

Let me rephrase:

Do you get to go out as often as you'd like, and when you do get out do you feel the time is well spent and/or enjoyable?

 

[Massimo2002]

That's a good question.

Hm.

Let me rephrase:

Do you get to go out as often as you'd like, and when you do get out do you feel the time is well spent and/or enjoyable?

I suppose I go out as often as I like. Half the time I feel spent and enjoyed outside.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

To me, it's all about balance. Having a day with nothing to do except maybe read a book, or watch a movie, or pursue a hobby sounds like bliss, but that's because my life is out of balance, and I'm spending most days buzzing around like a blue-arsed fly (err...not sure if that translates, it's an Australian saying...)

Perhaps your life is out of balance the other way, where you're not busy enough? I don't think it neccessarily needs to be social, or exciting, or whatever, since that will depend entirely on your personality, but having some things to do on a regular basis, something to keep you busier in meaningful and regular ways...it would probably let you better appreciate a chance to slow down.

Whereas as it stands, you're starting from a base of not being super active, and then having a slow day.

(Note : I'm generalizing and guessing a lot here, so if I'm missing the mark, apologies. Ultimately, balance in all things works best. I'm currently less balanced than I have been for much of my life, and it has a cost. Perhaps you're the same, if in the other direction).

 

[SalixIncendium]

You had the opportunity to stay home alone and relax and chose to take it. Many don't have that opportunity, so that's something to be grateful for.

I imagine when you made this choice, you knew no one else would be home with you.

At some point during your relaxing day, you chose to shift your focus from the leisure of relaxation to wanting to blame someone for not having anything to do. Gratitude you might have had shifted to irritation and emptiness, not because the situation changed, but because your mental focus changed from the desire to relax and disengage to a hankering for engagement...things to do...someone to do them with. And this ultimately led to this post.

From an ascetic point of view, being disengaged and alone can be great, but the undisciplined mind will eventually become frustrated with that disengagement and commonly switch back to the inherent attachment and desire for the world...for activity and engagement with others, which manifests as loneliness and boredom. It's a condition of being that social animal we call 'human.' At that point, one has to make the choice to shift their state of mind back to the sense of gratitude for the opportunity to relax or to get up, open the front door, and engage in the world full of people and activity.

 

[ChristineM]

it's an Australian saying..

And British,

 

[Rival]

You need books.

 

[ChristineM]

@Massimo2002

Find something useful (or a total waste of time) to occupy your mind, example, tidy up, go for a walk or a run, make something nice for dinner, build a model out of matchsticks, read a book, play some music and dance. Anything to help relieve the boredom.

That's my advice for what it's worth.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

Today I stayed home to relax but man am I ever board here without internet there's nothing to do here except watch the same boring movies on dvd that I've seen a million times and to make matters worse I am totally alone this makes me irritated and emotionally empty but strangely relaxed. Now I am trying to figure out who or what to blame myself ? Edmonton ? My parents ? All three ? I don't know. I do have very slow internet on my phone with data but it's just so painfully slow to the point where it is very limited. I do wish that I had someone to watch my favorite films with anyway that's about it I just wanted to get this off my mind thanks for reading.

First and foremost, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, and I'm sorry that you seem to feel constrained to deal with this.

I'm also just a bit indebted to you. I love Ontario and Quebec, but my wife and I have never visited Alberta. Your post nudged me to check out Edmonton. I have some mobility issues, but I really need to find some way to visit Edmonton and Calgary.

If and when we do so, I'll be looking to you for suggestions.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

And British,

Ever since we let you colonize us, you've been copying us...

 

[Subduction Zone]

Edmonton, and winter. If you do not play hockey then that sucks. Don't worry, spring is only about a month away. If you are lucky.