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Is the word "guys" rude if it is used with a mixed group?

Was my use of the word "guys" rude in my context?


  • Total voters
    27

Alceste

Vagabond
Thanks for the heads up ma'am, especially those regarding female :)

I hear the Irish wrestler Shamus says "fellas" all the time too!

The funny thing is, it was a male who attacked me for using "guys" for everyone. That gave me suspicions that I was really rude to the ladies there. I'm glad I got it covered now. Thanks for the reassurance :)

Note: sorry, when I tried to frubal you, it said that I made too many frubals for the last 24 hours :(

Yeah, he wasn't criticizing you for using the word guys, he was criticizing you for defending the extremely offensive and inappropriate posts of a rape apologist, and highlighted the word guys to illustrate that there are literally no women on the entire planet who will ever tell you getting raped was actually good for them. Only a guy could possibly believe that, and thankfully not many of them do.
 

Skwim

Veteran Member
guy
1 [gahy]
noun
1.
Informal. a man or boy; fellow: He's a nice guy.
2.
Usually, guys. Informal. persons of either sex; people: Could one of you guys help me with this?
source
 

BSM1

What? Me worry?
Hi all, I hope this finds you well! (I used "all" here just in case)

I used the word "guys" to address every one in a thread, including both genders, and I had this reply attacking me for it:

(Name of poster intentionally removed)

My questions is, is it really rude as the above reply implies (I mean the word, not against me)? I asked an Australian female friend and she said she thinks it is fine, I watched tons of American movies where I see it used normally as per the subject context and I referred to definitions and I found it okay; example, definition #2 in under noun here: Guy | Define Guy at Dictionary.com.

I'm a non native English speakers, so I might be wrong after all. Please advise me!

Much obliged!

Edit:
If anyone chooses the "yes, it is rude", I'd take that with complete open mind :)

Less butt kicking than addressing a mixed gender group as "girls", Smart Guy.
 

Secret Chief

nirvana is samsara
I don't think it's rude. Internet forums don't have national boundaries so terms such as this crop up whereby in "real life" it would depend on the country as to whether the term is used. I assume (but could be wrong) that it's an American term and currently doesn't get used much in this way in the UK. Of course, that may change with time.
 

DreadFish

Cosmic Vagabond
Y'all is very American. Particularly Texan, I think. It would sound strange in any other English speaking country. Guys is much more common throughout North America. Australia is "fellas" out some such thing, and it's "lads" in Ireland.

Y'all is used all over the south, not only Texas. I have actually heard it used by people in other states too, but I dont remember which. I've heard it a lot in hip hop and rap circles too. ( definitely just caught myself accidentally saying "and rape circles too". Glad I caught that :D)

I use y'all all the time. I once used it with a couple of British ladies and one of them was like "'y'all'? is that an American thing?"

I am a big proponent of the excellent, gender-neutral contraction that is y'all :D
 

Quagmire

Imaginary talking monkey
Staff member
Premium Member
I can't find it, but I made a thread about this very issue not long ago, Smart Guy.

The consensus was they'd let me live. :yes:
 

kashmir

Well-Known Member
Its ok to do and sometimes works in ones favor...

"Hey guys, whats up?"
"There are girls here too!!!!"
"prove you're a girl :D"
 

Iti oj

Global warming is real and we need to act
Premium Member
You weren't rude but i see how it is rude. I think its an inherent flaw the the language and society.
 

Euphoria

New Member
"Guys" is so common, I have a hard time believing it would bother people. I think referring to general, unknown things (like animals, hypothetical people, and so on) as "he" is more damaging. IMO it leads people to believe that the default of living creatures is male, whereas you must have some evidence to contrary to go on calling something female. Certainly that makes females out to be The Other in a way that other parts of our language do not. "Guys" seems harmless, since it pretty much just means group of people nowadays.

Yeah, he wasn't criticizing you for using the word guys, he was criticizing you for defending the extremely offensive and inappropriate posts of a rape apologist, and highlighted the word guys to illustrate that there are literally no women on the entire planet who will ever tell you getting raped was actually good for them. Only a guy could possibly believe that, and thankfully not many of them do.

But I don't understand why the conversation is continuing as if the OP is serious, now that it's been pointed out no one actually took offense to that word. I guess it's an easy question to answer, but the OP appears to be completely false... just seems silly to call a person ridiculous and disagree with them (over and over) when someone points out that that's actually not what they meant.
 

Smart_Guy

...
Premium Member
Very important not:
I thank you all and appreciate your replies. I tried frubaling you but I got the message the I'm done for the last 24 hours!
Really sorry about that!

Just use "*******" Smart Guy. You can't go wrong.

Maybe, but I wonder if my poor face and butt could!

I can't handle beating :)

I am from California, I call just about everyone "dude"

Cool. You're friends are probably nice people :)

Yeah, he wasn't criticizing you for using the word guys, he was criticizing you for defending the extremely offensive and inappropriate posts of a rape apologist, and highlighted the word guys to illustrate that there are literally no women on the entire planet who will ever tell you getting raped was actually good for them. Only a guy could possibly believe that, and thankfully not many of them do.

I wasn't defending any one, I was generally implying that we should converse without using inappropriate behavior after I found both sides attacking each other!

I'd never side with rape!

He could have confronted me about it in a good way instead of the way he did. I'd have welcomed it. Some of the rules of RF are about respect!

2.Usually, guys. Informal. persons of either sex; people: Could one of you guys help me with this?
source

Yeah, that was the source I provided too!

I thought I'd still ask after being attacked for using it!

Less butt kicking than addressing a mixed gender group as "girls", Smart Guy.

Works for me :)

I don't think it's rude. Internet forums don't have national boundaries so terms such as this crop up whereby in "real life" it would depend on the country as to whether the term is used. I assume (but could be wrong) that it's an American term and currently doesn't get used much in this way in the UK. Of course, that may change with time.

True. The way I learned English stand with it as okay, but after being attacked for it, I thought I'd ask about it again!

No, people are way too sensitive, and should really get a hobby that doesn't involve being an ******* on the internet.

:yes:

Y'all is used all over the south, not only Texas. I have actually heard it used by people in other states too, but I dont remember which. I've heard it a lot in hip hop and rap circles too. ( definitely just caught myself accidentally saying "and rape circles too". Glad I caught that)

I use y'all all the time. I once used it with a couple of British ladies and one of them was like "'y'all'? is that an American thing?"

I am a big proponent of the excellent, gender-neutral contraction that is y'all

Definitely good information we have here!

Is that an American thing? :D

I can't find it, but I made a thread about this very issue not long ago, Smart Guy.

The consensus was they'd let me live.

I remember a thread about using "boys" and "girls". Do you mean that one? I remember that one. Did it cover "guys" as a gender neutral terminology?

Its ok to do and sometimes works in ones favor...

"Hey guys, whats up?"
"There are girls here too!!!!"
"prove you're a girl "

Hehe, that would have worked with who attacked me :)

But I don't think I would have used it :)

You weren't rude but i see how it is rude. I think its an inherent flaw the the language and society.

Thank you for the feedback!

I do collect criticism and try to improve myself by considering it rationally. I really appreciate your input!

"Guys" is so common, I have a hard time believing it would bother people. I think referring to general, unknown things (like animals, hypothetical people, and so on) as "he" is more damaging. IMO it leads people to believe that the default of living creatures is male, whereas you must have some evidence to contrary to go on calling something female. Certainly that makes females out to be The Other in a way that other parts of our language do not. "Guys" seems harmless, since it pretty much just means group of people nowadays.

Same idea I had about "guys" until I was blamed for using it, so I thought I'd ask!

I do have my thought about non humans too, but I prefer to use the common gender references to not hurt the feelings of other!
 
Last edited by a moderator:

seeking4truth

Active Member
It seems funny to me that in a world where sexual matters are in your face all the time anyone could be so touchy about terms that have always been inclusive of male and female and now cause so much argument.

mankind; human; He(for God) etc.

We all know what is meant(I think) and it seems to me that fuss is caused by people with nothing better to be concerned about.

I now notice that the word 'actor' is being used for both male and female, going in the opposite direction. It's all mad if you ask me.
 

Smart_Guy

...
Premium Member
It seems funny to me that in a world where sexual matters are in your face all the time anyone could be so touchy about terms that have always been inclusive of male and female and now cause so much argument.

mankind; human; He(for God) etc.

We all know what is meant(I think) and it seems to me that fuss is caused by people with nothing better to be concerned about.

I now notice that the word 'actor' is being used for both male and female, going in the opposite direction. It's all mad if you ask me.

I agree, specially if the society allowed it as normal. Yet I try to find the female equivalent some times respecting people's feelings!

Generally speaking, some people explode at you for simply bringing any specific topic. They refuse to hear anything about it at all and get over protective over it and also refuse to reason with you for it. Sometimes people (like me) are oblivious and need to be directed to the right thing. At least hear me out and think of what I say, guys :)
 
Last edited:

Kilgore Trout

Misanthropic Humanist
I'm pretty sure that, whatever you do, there will be plenty of people out there who will find it criminally offensive. Many people seem to have elevated taking offense to a full-time job.
 

brokensymmetry

ground state
Hi all, I hope this finds you well! (I used "all" here just in case)

I used the word "guys" to address every one in a thread, including both genders, and I had this reply attacking me for it:

(Name of poster intentionally removed)

My questions is, is it really rude as the above reply implies (I mean the word, not against me)? I asked an Australian female friend and she said she thinks it is fine, I watched tons of American movies where I see it used normally as per the subject context and I referred to definitions and I found it okay; example, definition #2 in under noun here: Guy | Define Guy at Dictionary.com.

I'm a non native English speakers, so I might be wrong after all. Please advise me!

Much obliged!

Edit:
If anyone chooses the "yes, it is rude", I'd take that with complete open mind :)

I use the word 'guys' for everyone. I just mean people that I feel a bit comfortable with, male and female. That is common usage where I am from. Then again, consider the source!
 

Alceste

Vagabond
It seems funny to me that in a world where sexual matters are in your face all the time anyone could be so touchy about terms that have always been inclusive of male and female and now cause so much argument.

mankind; human; He(for God) etc.

We all know what is meant(I think) and it seems to me that fuss is caused by people with nothing better to be concerned about.

I now notice that the word 'actor' is being used for both male and female, going in the opposite direction. It's all mad if you ask me.

When it's a job, I don't bother using different genders for the same occupation. Part of that is that the suffix "-ess" is faintly diminutive. Another part is that when you consider the difference in pay, respect and working conditions between a "tailor" and a "seamstress", it's pretty clear why women might prefer to be "tailors." For example (although that one isn't happening as far as I can see).

I use "actor" for both genders, just as I use author, doctor, teacher, etc. Just strikes me as being consistent. It's just the name of the job, and jobs are gender neutral.
 
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