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Is it a sin to love and accept your gay son/daughter?

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by rainbowchristianqld, Aug 25, 2005.

  1. rainbowchristianqld

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    I've seen a LOT of straight 'Religious' parents (and even pastors/priests etc..) with gay children. Some of the children have been completely disowned, some get bashed up, some get the silent treatment and some even get fully accepted and loved unconditionally by their parents.

    My question is (as above), among others.
    (a)- Is it a sin to love and accept your gay/son daughter un-conditionally?
    (b)- Is it a sin to be proud of your gay son/daughter?
    (c)- Is it a sin to openly defend your gay son/daughter against anti-gay messages/preaching/prejudices/people?
    (d)- Is it a sin to 'not' send your gay son/daughter to ex-gay conversion therapy?
    (e)- Is it a sin to 'not' tell them to repent of their apparent sin (of homosexuality)?
    (f)- Is it a sin to 'not' pump the chosen "Holy Book" into them until they understand that who they are / what they 'do' is an abomination in the eyes of God?
    (g)- Would it be a sin if you/them 'gave up' on fighting your gay son/daughter's homosexuality?
    (h)- Is it a sin to allow a homosexual person to join you in church?
    (i) - Would it be a sin to allow your gay son/daughter to have a Partner/Soulmate/Lover?
    (j) - Would it be a sin to allow your gay son/daughter to bring their Partner/Soulmate/Lover to church with them?

    In my opinion, i would answer "NO" to all of these questions.

    I would like to know what others would answer to these questions.
    If you choose "YES" to any of them, could you explain why?
    If you choose "NO" to any (if not - All), can you try to explain why these things happen sooooooooooo often in Christian families?

    Also - I'd be interested to know peoples opinions on the following questions.

    (k) - Would you be disappointed if your son/daugther was gay? (if so, who would you be disappointed in? your self, someone/something else or your son/daughter)
    (l) - Would you disown your gay son/daughter? if not - what are the thoughts about Religious parents disowning their gay children?
    (m) - How would it effect your relationship with your son/daughter?
    (n) - How would it effect your relationship with God (if you couldn't turn your son/daughter straight) ?
    (o) - If You chose "Yes" to any of the questions in the first section, how do you think this would effect your son/daughter? and how do you think they would feel/re-act?
    (p) - What are some of the fears that you have about 'if your son/daughter was gay' ?

    Sorry bout so many questions, but thought i'd just put them all in 1 thread.
     
  2. Terrywoodenpic

    Terrywoodenpic Oldest Heretic

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    Some surprise But no sin involved.
    Would not effect any thing in my life and I would not try to change any thing in theirs.
    Woud have no fears that woud be in respect of their being Gay.
    I can see no reason to ever Disown children for any reason.

    Terry
    ___________________________________________________________
    Amen! Truly I say to you: Gather in my name. I am with you.
     
  3. James the Persian

    James the Persian Dreptcredincios Crestin

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    I'll try and answer each question point by point, but I've never really thought about some of them before so I may ramble or turn vague. Here goes...

    Of course not. I'd say it would be sinful to do the opposite. However, real love is not to blindly accept everything about a person, but also includes correction and even pedagogical punishment, so if by this you mean to imply that the parents should encourage the homosexual behaviour then my definition of love and yours differs. Such encouragement, in my eyes, would be sinful and would not be love.
    Not unless you mean being proud that they're homosexual, but I can't think of many parents who would feel that. Other than that, they're still our children and we should be proud of whatever good they achieve.
    I think this depends on what you mean by defend. Do you mean saying that their homosexuality is right, normal and acceptable to God or just defending them from attacks (whether verbal or physical). The latter would be fine in my opinion, the former not.
    No. Forcing them to do something against their will is not a good thing. I'm also not sure such things work. I would suggest a talk with the priest, though.
    I think sin is a bit harsh, but I wouldn't think a Christian parent responsible if they didn't point this out to their child.
    No. There comes a time when you just have to admit defeat and give up. I don't think that continually harping on the same message will ever do any good and I certainly wouldn't do it. I'd never stop praying, though.
    See above. Sometimes you just have to leave things in God's hands - but you shouldn't stop praying.
    Absolutely not! Encourage them to join you if they're interested. Taking the Eucharist, of course, would be a different matter - no unrepentant sinner should ever take it (and one of the many possible sins would be an act of homosexual sex).
    How could you stop them? Or do you mean in your home/treat them as such? Again, I'm not sure that sin applies here, but such a partner would not be accepted as acceptable in my house any more than an unmarried opposite sex partner would.
    No. See my answer to the related question above.

    I don't doubt you'll disagree with me, but I'm trying to be both reasonable and honest. Now I'll go on to your second set of questions.

    Only if they chose to be active in the homosexuality and then I'd be disappointed in them. Otherwise, I'd just feel sad that they had such a difficult cross to bear.
    No. I think disowning a child is reprehensible - for any reason.
    It would make life a little more difficult as it would always be clear to them that I disapproved of this one aspect of their life, but I doubt it would affect anything not related to their love life.
    Not at all.
    I doubt they'd react too well, but they'd probably mostly ignore me and then I'd leave them alone. I didn't react too well to having girlfriends banned from staying over so I shouldn't think a homosexual child would be any different in that respect. The only difference, though, would be that if my child were straight they could marry and thus earn my acceptance of their relationship - if gay they'd not have this option.
    None really. My son is three and the next child (believed to be a daughter) isn't due till December, so I can't say I've thought about it enough yet to have any fears. I'll deal with whatever happens if and when it does (hopefully I won't be put in the position, though).

    James
     
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  4. rainbowchristianqld

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    Thanx very much for the info Terrywoodenpic and LacobPersul. Appreciate your honesty.
    Something that I often notice is that: you often don't realize what you 'think' about certain things until you're asked the right question.
     
  5. Mike182

    Mike182 Flaming Queer

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    i dont understand this one :eek: - do you mean "is it a sin to not try and change them from being gay?" if it is then no, its not a sin to not try and change someone

    no, but if i was going with my partner, i would impliment a certain element of discretion!


    agreed

    i dont have children, although later on in life when i have settled down, i might look into adoption

    and no, i would love my child as my child, warts and all! just like god loves us all, warts and all!

    C_P
     
  6. CaptainXeroid

    CaptainXeroid Following Christ

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    My wife and I don't have kids, but we borrow other people's from time to time.:D

    The answer to questions a-j depend on your particular religion and church. In our case, all the answers would be 'no' since we believe that Jesus taught us to love one another. IMHO, sharing God's Word does not mean damning people to Hell.

    k - I don't think we would be.
    l - I concur with James, no parent should disown his child.
    m,n, & o - Impossible to say for sure
    p - My main fear would be how the child might respond to being 'different'. There is no doubt that some people treat gays and lesbians with disrespect or even contempt. Responding in kind would not be in line with what Christ taught.

    I realize my answers are only theorectical, but I hope they are useful in some way.:)
     
  7. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
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    The Rev Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas thinks it's a sin to love a homosexual. He's said, "Not only is homosexuality a sin, but anyone who supports **** is just as guilty as they are. You are both worthy of death." Of course, the Rev. Fred Phelps doesn't have both of his oars in the water. He hates just about everyone and everything.
     
  8. michel

    michel Administrator Emeritus
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    '****' in England are cigarettes - but I'm not sure I would call them evil - oh maybe.....:D
    As to the questions:-
    (a)- Is it a sin to love and accept your gay/son daughter un-conditionally?
    It would be far worse, in my eyes not to do so.
    (b)- Is it a sin to be proud of your gay son/daughter?
    Proud about his/her sexuality ? - I don't think that is what you mean. Being proud of any other qualities, yes, I would be.
    (c)- Is it a sin to openly defend your gay son/daughter against anti-gay messages/preaching/prejudices/people?
    I would defend my children against any form of abuse.
    (d)- Is it a sin to 'not' send your gay son/daughter to ex-gay conversion therapy?
    I think it might be more of a sin to do so.
    (e)- Is it a sin to 'not' tell them to repent of their apparent sin (of homosexuality)?
    Not easy - I think if frankly asked, I would have to say "This is what the church believes, but what you do is up to you"- that is the only extent (IMO) as to my 'duty'.
    (f)- Is it a sin to 'not' pump the chosen "Holy Book" into them until they understand that who they are / what they 'do' is an abomination in the eyes of God?
    In my eyes, I have no right to pump the chosen Holy book at anyone, for what ever reason.
    (g)- Would it be a sin if you/them 'gave up' on fighting your gay son/daughter's homosexuality?
    I would never deem it my place to fight against against my Children's sexuality in any circumstance.
    (h)- Is it a sin to allow a homosexual person to join you in church?
    I would take any one, to the Church with me.
    (i) - Would it be a sin to allow your gay son/daughter to have a Partner/Soulmate/Lover?
    I don't believe so - I would see it more of a sin to enforce chastity on anyone
    (j) - Would it be a sin to allow your gay son/daughter to bring their Partner/Soulmate/Lover to church with them?
    The more the merrier, regardless of race, colour, creed or sexual orientation.

    k) - Would you be disappointed if your son/daugther was gay? (if so, who would you be disappointed in? your self, someone/something else or your son/daughter)

    The only reason I might be disappointed is for his or her sake, at the limitation of potential partners, and also because of the way I know some people would treat them.
    (l) - Would you disown your gay son/daughter? if not - what are the thoughts about Religious parents disowning their gay children?

    I cannot see a situation which would ever make me disown my child - that sounds pretty much like a sin in itself to me.
    (m) - How would it effect your relationship with your son/daughter?

    Hopefully not at all.
    (n) - How would it effect your relationship with God (if you couldn't turn your son/daughter straight) ?

    To me, not at all.
    (o) - If You chose "Yes" to any of the questions in the first section, how do you think this would effect your son/daughter? and how do you think they would feel/re-act?

    I didn't:D
    (p) - What are some of the fears that you have about 'if your son/daughter was gay' ?

    Being picked on, being lonely and misunderstood:)
     
  9. Feathers in Hair

    Feathers in Hair World's Tallest Hobbit

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    I think, boringly enough, my answer to all of the above would be 'no'.

    I'd also want to point out that doing the any of the things listed is not limited to Christian families. Unfortunately, it can happen to people from all faiths that percieve being gay as wrong.
     
  10. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Rival's Wife

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    No is my answer to all of them.
    My gods see being Homosexual as natural as being heterosexual, so it wouldn't have any effect.
    They are so caught up in something that it has blinded them. No parent should disown thier child.
    It wouldn't.
    I would be conscerned about his well being. I would be worried if any gay-bashers would have fun with him, and other worries about his way of life making him a target of much hatred.
     
  11. jewscout

    jewscout Religious Zionist

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    I accept my sister...why should my child be any different.
     
  12. Ardent Listener

    Ardent Listener Active Member

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    Put me down for a 'no' too, if by what you mean "accept" is to continue to love such a person.

    Gay and transgendered people are often turned away by their families because of a false pride that will not allow them to "accept" the situation. It appears to me that "religion" is often an excuse to exercise that pride. It all comes back to casting the first stone.
     
  13. michel

    michel Administrator Emeritus
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    False pride, or fear of the unknown?:)
     
  14. joeboonda

    joeboonda Well-Known Member

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    Oh, love them! Love them with unconditional love, if they wanna go to church, let them. If they wanna be the preacher or hold a position, maybe go to a more liberal church, that is don't force a fundamentalist church to marry you, or give you a job, there are other types of churches that accept that. But love them people! We all have sinned, and do so everyday! Let the Holy Spirit teach them, pray for them, love them, but don't hate them, don't turn them away from your home, your church. Let them hear the good news of the free gift, that is for ALL of us, it is unmerited, undeserved, by even the most ethical of people. It is free, and if they will accept Christ's sacrifice for their sins, then leave them alone, let the Holy Spirit show them (and you) what needs to be fixed in their lives. Jesus loves us no matter what, unconditionaly, and expects the same of us. God who is just and right will deal with each of us justly and rightly, put it in his hands, and go enjoy your life a bit.
     
  15. Mark1615

    Mark1615 Member

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    Homosexuals argue that they did not make a conscious decision to be that way, so it must be natural. They are born that way just as all of us are born with a sin nature and sinful desires (Ephesians 2:13). It is natural for them, and for all of us, to be tempted to do things that God says are wrong. In the same way, pedophiles and adulterers (alcoholics, drug addicts, etc.) don't make a conscious decision to choose that self-destructive lifestyle, they simply give in to their sinful desires. However, although sin is natural for non-Christians, that doesn't mean God wants them to remain that way. God can set them free from thier sinful nature (Romans 7:23 8:2), give them new desires (Ephesians 4:22-24), and help them withstand temptations (1 Corinthians 10:13).
     
  16. Feathers in Hair

    Feathers in Hair World's Tallest Hobbit

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    Mark, shall we step over into another thread? I'd be more than happy to discuss this with you.
     
  17. Mark1615

    Mark1615 Member

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    Sounds fine to me. Where?
     
  18. michel

    michel Administrator Emeritus
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    I hope you are not implying that all non-Christians are sinners; please tell me I have misunderstood........:confused:
     
  19. Mark1615

    Mark1615 Member

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    I am stating that all are sinners - Christians and non-christians alike.
     
  20. Feathers in Hair

    Feathers in Hair World's Tallest Hobbit

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    Would you like it in one-on-one debate, or General Debates? Whichever you prefer.
     
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