I Can't Take It Anymore

[Draupadi]

I believe in Allah the one true god. But what He has been doing with me is becoming unbearable. I am praying and fasting but with hatred in my heart for Him. So is it of any use doing them? No. I know it is a test and He doesn't test us beyond our limits but I have tried to commit suicide for my depression several times. So is it possible that I can really bear this burden? I don't believe that it is Satan whispering. I believe it is me. I have tried many ways to ask Him to solve my issues but in vain. I don't want to go to hell neither can I take this pain anymore. Things are getting worse. I am becoming a misotheist. Maybe I will stop worshipping Him because it is actually useless. I am not trying to garner your symapthy when I say that I have asked Him in my prayers to stop this test or take me away from this world.

I don't know why I opened this thread and wasted the space. It is a rant. But if any of you have any advice please do give them. Thank you.

 

[Iti oj]

Have you seen a doctor about your depression?

 

[GURSIKH]

Hi Draupadi ,


May i ask what issues you have ?

 

[Draupadi]

Yes I have shown two doctors. But their medicines doesn't seem to work. While on them I have tried to commit suicide seven times.

@Gursikh- I would love to tell you about my problems but i just can't seem to take people's advice. I am so emotional about my deeds that I tend to disregard them.

 

[methylatedghosts]

But if any of you have any advice please do give them. Thank you.

@Gursikh- I would love to tell you about my problems but i just can't seem to take people's advice. I am so emotional about my deeds that I tend to disregard them.

I don't know what to do now

 

[Cordoba]

Medical expertise is what helps in this case sister

Meanwhile, for counseling purposes, please check these resources to see what topics are closer to your problem:

Ask the Counselor - OnIslam.net

The page has around 50 sub-topics

I hope you find something useful there In-Shaa-Allah

May Allah (SWT) be with you and make all matters easy for you

Ameen

 

[GURSIKH]

.

@Gursikh- I would love to tell you about my problems but i just can't seem to take people's advice. I am so emotional about my deeds that I tend to disregard them.

you can tell me , i will not give any advice

 

[illykitty]

Yes I have shown two doctors. But their medicines doesn't seem to work. While on them I have tried to commit suicide seven times.

@Gursikh- I would love to tell you about my problems but i just can't seem to take people's advice. I am so emotional about my deeds that I tend to disregard them.

If the medicines don't work, I advice telling them that it makes you feel worse and try to change to something else. Not all medicines have positive effects on everyone, sometimes it makes certain people feel worse.

Even if you don't take advice, read it. Take some breaths and think about it logically. Then disregard if you want to. At least it's better to have people who listen and/or give advice than no one at all, right? Shows some people care and that you're not alone.

 

[islam means peace]

I believe in Allah the one true god. But what He has been doing with me is becoming unbearable. I am praying and fasting but with hatred in my heart for Him. So is it of any use doing them? No. I know it is a test and He doesn't test us beyond our limits but I have tried to commit suicide for my depression several times. So is it possible that I can really bear this burden? I don't believe that it is Satan whispering. I believe it is me. I have tried many ways to ask Him to solve my issues but in vain. I don't want to go to hell neither can I take this pain anymore. Things are getting worse. I am becoming a misotheist. Maybe I will stop worshipping Him because it is actually useless. I am not trying to garner your symapthy when I say that I have asked Him in my prayers to stop this test or take me away from this world.

I don't know why I opened this thread and wasted the space. It is a rant. But if any of you have any advice please do give them. Thank you.

Aslam O Alikum , May Allah ease your difficulties

I would just like to say 2 things,

First of all every person have difficutlites in life, just see the life of Prophet Muahammad Salalahualiwasalam, they are the most beloved man by Allah and prayed most, but see thier life is full of difficulties, he lost his parent early , also they spread love in people but people thrown stones to them,

Also, I am not sure what you are facing so just open internet or TV and see how other people are facing difficuties in syria,iraq,palesitne etc how even small childrens are totured or even put to death, i am sure your diffictultes are not more then that

So just try to solve your issues, might take help from friend or tell what your acutall issue is , issuce can also be reduce by sharing.

 

[Pastek]

Also, I am not sure what you are facing so just open internet or TV and see how other people are facing difficuties in syria,iraq,palesitne etc how even small childrens are totured or even put to death, i am sure your diffictultes are not more then that

Her difficulties are different but i don't think we can compare.
If you knew what is depression and suicidale thoughts you wouldn't say that, I'm sure she's aware at what other people are facing. She said it was unbearable, so she is really suffering, just in a different manner than those you quoted above.

I knew people with a strong faith, but they tried to commit suicide because of their pain, so ...

 

[illykitty]

Her difficulties are different but i don't think we can compare.
If you knew what is depression and suicidale thoughts you wouldn't say that, I'm sure she's aware at what other people are facing. She said it was unbearable, so she is really suffering, just in a different manner than those you quoted above.

I knew people with a strong faith, but they tried to commit suicide because of their pain, so ...

It's true. Mental illness has such misconceptions, that one can just get over it. It's not how it is. It changes the way you think, you feel certain ways without wanting to... Somedays you feel you don't have much control at all.

It's just there's a problem with the brain and emotions. There's lack of self esteem and confidence too. You can't control it. You're your own enemy. Imagine not trusting yourself, like you don't trust someone invading you. Imagine hating yourself.

It's really not easy. It's a different situation, but that doesn't mean there's no suffering. Suffering silently, alone, when no one understands it, is terrible too.

Don't listen to islam means peace's post Draupadi. He doesn't know what he's talking about... Talk to people that offered help and I recommend to try to see the doctors again. Maybe they can offer other help and change your medication. Have you tried cognitive therapy or other kinds of therapy?

 

[Draupadi]

^I have only tried medicines and one-to-one counselling. Our doctors aren't much advanced so I haven't even heard of cognitive behavioural therapies. I am willing to try everything a shot so next time I will ask my doctor about it.

 

[DawudTalut]

I believe in Allah the one true god. But what He has been doing with me is becoming unbearable. I am praying and fasting but with hatred in my heart for Him. So is it of any use doing them? No. I know it is a test and He doesn't test us beyond our limits but I have tried to commit suicide for my depression several times. So is it possible that I can really bear this burden? I don't believe that it is Satan whispering. I believe it is me. I have tried many ways to ask Him to solve my issues but in vain. I don't want to go to hell neither can I take this pain anymore. Things are getting worse. I am becoming a misotheist. Maybe I will stop worshipping Him because it is actually useless. I am not trying to garner your symapthy when I say that I have asked Him in my prayers to stop this test or take me away from this world.

I don't know why I opened this thread and wasted the space. It is a rant. But if any of you have any advice please do give them. Thank you.

Peace be on you.

Allah loves you because He made you.
Sometimes human do not take right steps, it leads to suffering.
Other times it is some ailment which makes problems.

Are you taking balanced food?
Are you taking fresh air daily? Is it possible to take walks safely?
Have you checked "home remedies depression" and "natural anti depressant foods" on net?
Tried a qualified homeopathic doctor?

10 Natural Depression Treatments

Understanding nutrition, depression and mental illnesses

 

[Draupadi]

Thank you Illykitty for giving me your ears. And Talut and Cordoba thanks for the information. Cordoba your religious solution seems a good one. The site has answers to my problems. Let me see what result it yields.

Islam Is Peace, I guess you wrote your stuff because you were unaware of my other threads that I am going through crisis that caused me clinical depression.

 

[Cordoba]

Don't worry sister, it happens

May Allah (SWT) be with you and make you get over it soon

The month of Ramadan is the best month of the year, and the best month for making du'aa, as the gates of Heaven are wide open

You are in our du'aa In-Shaa-Allah

 

[Starsoul]

Salam, how are you feeling now draupadi? Hope much better

 

[Draupadi]

Walaikumassalam. I feeling a bit better. Things are improving but at a very slow rate and not at great degrees. It's a start though. But I need to be stronger.

 

[Curious_Cat]

walaikumassalam. I feeling a bit better. Things are improving but at a very slow rate and not at great degrees. It's a start though. But i need to be stronger.

)(

 

[mahmoud mrt]

I believe in Allah the one true god. But what He has been doing with me is becoming unbearable. I am praying and fasting but with hatred in my heart for Him. So is it of any use doing them? No. I know it is a test and He doesn't test us beyond our limits but I have tried to commit suicide for my depression several times. So is it possible that I can really bear this burden? I don't believe that it is Satan whispering. I believe it is me. I have tried many ways to ask Him to solve my issues but in vain. I don't want to go to hell neither can I take this pain anymore. Things are getting worse. I am becoming a misotheist. Maybe I will stop worshipping Him because it is actually useless. I am not trying to garner your symapthy when I say that I have asked Him in my prayers to stop this test or take me away from this world.

I don't know why I opened this thread and wasted the space. It is a rant. But if any of you have any advice please do give them. Thank you.

Hellow Draupadi

I have a middle degree of bipolar disorder, and form what you describe there are similar symptoms,

Kindly tell me the medication you take, and all your symptoms, (like do you have anxiety attacks, do you have Obsessive compulsive fears like the something will hurt you: germs, illness, cuts and blood, you check the gas and the door many times in fear, etc. Do you have mode swings, like sometime you’re very proud and happy and after a short time you are very depressed?

If you like I can tell you the medication I’m on and you consult a doctor about them.

Religion will benefit you and reading the holy Quran, and praying of course, but it’s religion which ordered us to seek medication,

Dear Sister, do not lose hope, it’s just a matter of the right medication with the right dose, by God willing

If you want to continue the discussion privately then kindly message me through the forum

Best Regards
Mahmoud

 

[Draupadi]

Yes you are right I do have Bipolar Mood Disorder. I used to take medication but stopped it because it contributed to Class II obesity. Sometimes I feel quite happy and at other times desperate, in despair and occasionally aggressive. I also cry a lot. I have some troubles in my life. But it's generally sad mood for me.

I am scared of psychiatric medication due to the above reason. I am thinking of going for counselling sessions after Ramadan. As for any medicine I am taking 'Sensit'. It was recommended to me by a skin specialist who says that psychiatric medicines are harmful. Sensit is supposed to keep me calm but it isn't working either. I still am weak minded like before. So finally he recommended counselling sessions via a psychologist known to him.