I am in a dark place

[PureX]

Praying to God for a miracle may work, but I doubt it. I just don't think that's what "God" is for.

On the other hand, praying for the wisdom, strength, and courage to do what you need to do to survive and to thrive in this world, can work, and I think is more in keeping with how "God" works for us, and IN us. And then eventually, through us, to others.

Just keep doing everything that you can to get through this time and circumstance. And stop obsessing on the "darkness". It's a waste of spiritual energy that you can't afford right now. Use prayer and your "God" to find that strength within you, and use it to keep moving forward. All things will pass, and so will this. You just need to keep moving forward.

 

[Kenny]

Hi firstly I am new to online forums and if I am being totally honest with anyone that reads this I am new to religion.

I have been in a very dark place for over a year now. My whole life got ripped apart in 2019 and I have found it increasingly difficult to get out of the dark place my life has become. I lost my home, my job everything I had and I am on the other side of the world from my family. I have never felt so alone, I have never felt so helpless and worthless in my life. I have never been a religious man but over the last few months I have been praying and I don't feel I deserve anyone to listen to me or help me yet alone god? Why should he listen to me? I have never believed or wanted to talk to him until I was in need. I am not 100% sure if I am going out of my mind or not.

I am struggling to survive with little to no money, the fear of not knowing if ill somehow be able to afford my rent and food this week and I guess I am just looking for someone to talk to to keep me feeling alive because I have felt empty for a very long time now and I'm scared that this is now my life living alone in the darkest place off all which is my mind.

I have no idea how this works but if anyone wants to talk please talk to me please.

Richard

Dear Richard,

You are not alone!

God WILL help you! Not because we deserve it, not because we earned it or didn't earn it and not because we weren't good enough - it is because of His love for us and He expressed it through Jesus Christ.

The thief next to Jesus didn't deserve forgiveness.... Jesus just gave it to him because of love.

Trust Him. Yield to Him. Ask Him to open the doors for you and then start walking as if the door is open.

Go to a good church that feels like home to you. maybe - C3 Auckland One that opens the Bible and speaks to your heart.

Knock on doors and the right one will open but seek Him first. Read the book of John.... for God so loved YOU! (John 3) and God wants you to have an abundance of life! (John 10)

As questions, grow in faith.. He will do it as He did it for me!

He still IS the miracle worker and He is the same yesterday, today and forever! That is what He is there for!

 

[WonderingWorrier]

Hi Richard.
Thanks for reaching out.
I think an option for you could be WWOOF - We're Welcome On Organic Farms. New Zealand.
Food and accommodation included for a bit of work on organic farms located all over New Zealand.
Could meet some down to earth environmentally friendly people and learn some things.

If you are interested then have a look at their network website and there is also a forum there too.

Here is the link:

WWOOF New Zealand We're Welcome On Organic Farms

From their website: "If you are interested in alternative ways of living and want to meet interesting people then WWOOFing is for you!"

 

[Secret Chief]

Hi Richard.
Thanks for reaching out.
I think an option for you could be WWOOF - We're Welcome On Organic Farms. New Zealand.
Food and accommodation included for a bit of work on organic farms located all over New Zealand.
Could meet some down to earth environmentally friendly people and learn some things.

If you are interested then have a look at their network website and there is also a forum there too.

Here is the link:

WWOOF New Zealand We're Welcome On Organic Farms

From their website: "If you are interested in alternative ways of living and want to meet interesting people then WWOOFing is for you!"

Hey, I knew a couple of Woofers once, here in the UK. Cool suggestion.

 

[Richard Huckvale]

Thank you to everyone who has commented. I guess a little back story will help people understand.

I moved to Nz in 2016 its been my life long dream to live here so I sold everything and teaselled the world for a year then settled in NZ. I started a great new life here met friends got a place to live and a well paid job I loved. Then in 2018 I met a girl. I fell in love with her and for the first time in my life I saw a future marriage kids etc. After about 6 months the relationship became abusive - she would control every aspect of my life - it cost me my job. It resulted in me being 100% dependant on her to live and survive here in NZ. Then in July last year I found out my partner was seeing someone else so I left the house and the relationship it destroyed me as a person and has changed me not for the better. I cant afford the legal fees to get my belonging back from the property we shared. I have concentrated the last 12 months on trying to find a legal way to say in NZ and the immigration process has been a nightmare I have spent every penny I have on immigration lawyers who are trying to help me.

Ive relied on friends to help with food and bills and accomodation. I have about $30,000 worth of debt I have been left with from my relationship. I cant afford to eat or pay any bills as I have not worked for over a year. I have $200 in my account which is my rent to my friend this week once that has gone and the lockdown here in NZ gets relaxed I will be homeless as my friends house mate will return to the property.

I have never felt so lost, so alone, so vulnerable and unhappy in my entire life. I am embarrassed beyond belief that I've turned to praying when I've never believed before.

I have thought about ending it all (dont worry I won't) I have so many people that I know care about me and it would hurt them more than anything if I did anything stupid and I would not want to put anyone through that.

I guess if I can get a new visa, new job and a place to stay I cant start to get my life on track but without the finance to do that it just all seems so bleak.

I am so lost - sorry

 

[WonderingWorrier]

Richard. What do you think about the Woofer option?
Is it something you would consider doing?

If not I can try to help you think of something else.

I suggested WWOOF because no money is needed to get food and a place to stay.
And there is the social aspect of it with the hosts and other workers.

I haven't done it myself but I know a few farmers that have joined the WWOOF network. Although Woofers are working for accommodation and food the farmers I knew were giving some money and other perks too. Can also go knocking on the neighbourhood doors asking about any extra work to get some more income. Every farmer has more farm work that needs doing. Most work is gained by word of mouth and not advertised.
A face to face enquiry is better than a phone call.

The industry has not slowed down during shutdown. It has continued and is speeding up with the increase of demand for exports.

There is also specialised Visa options for people that work in the farming/horticulture industry.

 

[Richard Huckvale]

Sadly as I dont have my new visa yet I am unable to work. even working for accomodation is against the law without a work visa.

I will do anything to stay in this country and to survive. I just dont want to get into any trouble.

 

[WonderingWorrier]

Sadly as I dont have my new visa yet I am unable to work. even working for accomodation is against the law without a work visa.

I will do anything to stay in this country and to survive. I just dont want to get into any trouble.

Ok.
Have you spoken to immigration in last few days?
It looks like some Visa changes have just been made 5 days ago.

Including:

• Extend the expiry dates of visas for classes of people

• Grant visas to individuals and classes of people in the absence of an application

• Waive any regulatory requirements for certain classes of application

Edit:
I've done a bit of reading and hear that automatic Visas have been getting issued.
They say to check Visa status by using their online visa verification or by calling them.

Here is the link:

Visa Verification Service

 

[Secret Chief]

Richard
Is there the NZ equivalent of the Citizens Advice Bureau you could go to?

 

[Richard Huckvale]

Hi folks, sorry for the delay in getting back to you all I sadly lost my accomodation so now I am sleeping on my friends sofa's etc I am really struggling to survive here. I have tried to seek all the help I can but its getting me now where.

I am only left with trying to raise the money to fly back to the UK as soon as possible. If anyone can help me set up a fundraising page that will would be awesome.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Have you spoken to doctors about it? Sometimes our brains can become chemically unbalanced and a good psychiatrist can bring us back from a dark place.

I wouldn’t be too concerned about not having prayed before, in my opinion God is not so petty as to mind such things

If your life is falling apart, your depression is not likely due to a chemical imbalance. Sure, go see a psychiatrist if you want, but a social worker would be a better recommendation.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Hi firstly I am new to online forums and if I am being totally honest with anyone that reads this I am new to religion.

I have been in a very dark place for over a year now. My whole life got ripped apart in 2019 and I have found it increasingly difficult to get out of the dark place my life has become. I lost my home, my job everything I had and I am on the other side of the world from my family. I have never felt so alone, I have never felt so helpless and worthless in my life. I have never been a religious man but over the last few months I have been praying and I don't feel I deserve anyone to listen to me or help me yet alone god? Why should he listen to me? I have never believed or wanted to talk to him until I was in need. I am not 100% sure if I am going out of my mind or not.

I am struggling to survive with little to no money, the fear of not knowing if ill somehow be able to afford my rent and food this week and I guess I am just looking for someone to talk to to keep me feeling alive because I have felt empty for a very long time now and I'm scared that this is now my life living alone in the darkest place off all which is my mind.

I have no idea how this works but if anyone wants to talk please talk to me please.

Richard

I am in a similar situation. I'm not homeless, but have no family, almost no friends, no job and no income. I won't mention how I'm able to feed myself. But my faith in Christ does give me hope as I know He walks beside me and knows what is to suffer. I feel close to God in my sufferings. He always inclines His ear to our prayers, especially during our trials. He uplifts the weak and lowly. The A5vrahamic God is for the outcasts and those at the bottom of the social tier. So have no fear or shame in praying to Him.

 

[Chris Terai]

Hello Richard,

I have been in the space you speak of, and it is difficult to see the way out from the inside. The answer I found was in realizing how feelings and the life experience work.

We are as we choose to be. When we relate to that which we cannot change, or dislike, we create suffering. Sometimes life deals us a healthy dose of troubles and so we have a lot of these negative feelings. In as much as we remain focused on the problems, we suffer.

When we invite gratitude into our lives, the suffering releases. You can use a dragonfaller technique to accomplish this. Begin with a sheet of paper and a pen. Write down all the things that are right in your life, and feel your gratitude for this goodness as you record each. Continue to do this until you reach the end of the page. Whenever you are distraught, remember what you are thankful for. It will shift you into a positive mind-state.

Every time we embrace love, it is our experience. We cannot wholly embrace love and feel any other way. I hope you practice this, as it will help you move past your despair. It can also be useful to focus on what you can improve in your life, instead of worrying about the things you can't. For example, if there is something in your home that is sentimental but brings you sadness, set it aside and out of view. Put in its place, a source of joy.

There are more techniques I can share. Post a response if you would like them.

Cheers!

Chris Terai
aka: The Inner Buddha

PS: You've made a great choice in looking to faith for answers. Let that be the first success you record on your page. You might also ponder the meaning in this quote: