I'm wrestling with this (I definitely need to increase my Valium dosage). I have a sister-in-law whom I absolutely detest and despise because of her actions. I try to see God in her and everyone, but it is her material self I hate with such an unbridled passion, I actually wish her dead. It is for the selfish reason that she would finally be out of my life.
For over 15 years being with my partner, his sister has caused one problem after another. The latest was calling Social Services on my partner and me and falsely accusing us of mistreating and neglecting their mother (who was ill and lived with us, being a co-owner), and defrauding her of her money. Funny, it is I who supported the house for the past 8 years, paying out over $265,000 to support us. The old lady only had a $910 Social Security check. Without me, she would have lost the house and been in a nursing home several years ago.
So the s-i-l takes her mother to live with her, transfers insurance beneficiary, power-of-attorney, bank account, and Social Security to her address, claiming her mother said she couldn't trust us. She's all about getting money, and is a consummate liar. She even wanted to cheapen the funeral so there would be more insurance money left over for her.
But in the 8 years we lived in the house, my m-i-l was fed, clothed and cared for, in her own home. Since her daughter took her to live with her in June, the mother has been in and out of the hospital due to infections, going on a hunger strike, and seeing quack doctors who said her diabetes was cured, no need to take her medicine. The daughter refused to let her mother speak to my partner, which upset him greatly.
My m-i-l died on Sunday. Now we have the viewings and funeral to deal with. I have no intention of even looking at my s-i-l. I don't talk to dead people, and she is dead to me. She went one step too far in accusing us as she did. To me that was unforgiveable.
Now, why am I saying all this here? Because I do not know how to get past my hatred for this creature and find it in my being to ever forgive her. After the funeral I have no intention of ever seeing her again. While she will inherit part of the house, I will threaten a lien on her portion for the amount of money I put out to support her mother. She could never repay me. But it's the only way I can stop this greedy @#$*%&! in her tracks and be done with her.
My hatred for her is consuming me and turning me into something I don't like. I can barely look my images of Krishna in the eye during prayers knowing what a hypocrite I am. I've prayed to Maa Kali and Maa Durga to remove the negative energy; I have their icons in various places (including on the window of the house door).
This is totally adharmic of me, but I don't know how to let it go. I talk to my therapist about it, but it's as if I need this hatred. God, I hate myself for it.
For over 15 years being with my partner, his sister has caused one problem after another. The latest was calling Social Services on my partner and me and falsely accusing us of mistreating and neglecting their mother (who was ill and lived with us, being a co-owner), and defrauding her of her money. Funny, it is I who supported the house for the past 8 years, paying out over $265,000 to support us. The old lady only had a $910 Social Security check. Without me, she would have lost the house and been in a nursing home several years ago.
So the s-i-l takes her mother to live with her, transfers insurance beneficiary, power-of-attorney, bank account, and Social Security to her address, claiming her mother said she couldn't trust us. She's all about getting money, and is a consummate liar. She even wanted to cheapen the funeral so there would be more insurance money left over for her.
But in the 8 years we lived in the house, my m-i-l was fed, clothed and cared for, in her own home. Since her daughter took her to live with her in June, the mother has been in and out of the hospital due to infections, going on a hunger strike, and seeing quack doctors who said her diabetes was cured, no need to take her medicine. The daughter refused to let her mother speak to my partner, which upset him greatly.
My m-i-l died on Sunday. Now we have the viewings and funeral to deal with. I have no intention of even looking at my s-i-l. I don't talk to dead people, and she is dead to me. She went one step too far in accusing us as she did. To me that was unforgiveable.
Now, why am I saying all this here? Because I do not know how to get past my hatred for this creature and find it in my being to ever forgive her. After the funeral I have no intention of ever seeing her again. While she will inherit part of the house, I will threaten a lien on her portion for the amount of money I put out to support her mother. She could never repay me. But it's the only way I can stop this greedy @#$*%&! in her tracks and be done with her.
My hatred for her is consuming me and turning me into something I don't like. I can barely look my images of Krishna in the eye during prayers knowing what a hypocrite I am. I've prayed to Maa Kali and Maa Durga to remove the negative energy; I have their icons in various places (including on the window of the house door).
This is totally adharmic of me, but I don't know how to let it go. I talk to my therapist about it, but it's as if I need this hatred. God, I hate myself for it.