I feel as tho for the first time I can carry my own weight and simply be myself and live for myself. As for why I prayed.... habit. Prayer in one form or another is common. I actually started thinking about it on combat terms (i am a jarhead...) praying in combat is much less effective than doing something. You can pray all you want, but what you are really hoping for is for a hand to come down out of the sky and make your enemy a bad shot. Odds are he isn't. He's a trained killer, same as you. Therefor shooting him first is much more economical than praying...
Here's my thing: Prayer, Magic, Voodoo; they all want to do the same thing. When someone prays for something, odds are they simply do not know the results. The results are in, they are desperately hoping something will make them favorable. Last time I checked... that doesn't happen. Praying for a lottery ticket scratch off to be a winner involves reprinting all of them and putting them in the right order for you to win. Then making sure no one knows it happened. Seems like a lost of work, and science seems to imply that the universe doesn't work in that fashion. An Answered prayer is a favorable roll of the dice, and an unaswered one is not for you to know why.
It was all too convienient, and all seemed to strive to keep you from really living.
