Graveyard Etiquette

[VoidCat]

Not a debate forum

So I thought about posting this in a DIR but thought this could be an opportunity to learn about what other religions believe in regards to this if anything and so someone outside of certain religious practices could ask questions about my beliefs if they wish. Be warn this is only in my personal practice many pagans and witches have widely different beliefs on a lot of things and other peoples thoughts may differ. To each their own path. I just want to share what I believe.

1. All graveyards and cemeteries have a guardian over them to watch over the dead. Leave an on offering for them at the gate if possible. Let your purpose be known before you enter and be polite doing so. If at any time you don't feel welcome whether at the gate or in the graveyard get out of dodge.
2. After entering try not to step on any graves. If you do clean up and apologize.
3. If you wish to leave offerings to the dead in general and not to a specific spirit leave it in a neutral spot not on any graves.
4. If possible and you have the time clean off and take care of any run down or neglected graves.
5.If you see any spirits or anything odd don't take pictures or record without permission. Thats just rude.
6.Dont take anything from on or in a grave obviously.
7. If you wish to take something not in or on a grave for magical or other purposes like say a branch that fell on the ground or graveyard dirt ask first then listen to your intuition as to whether or not it's ok. If you get a sickly feeling or bad vibes dont take it. If something is difficult to remove don't take it. If you don't get any bad vibes and you feel it's ok don't take more then you need and say thank you.
8. Leave the way you came with a thank you.

That is in my practice. Would love to hear if anyone else has anything specific to graveyards in their belief system or has any questions about my practice respond.

 

[Stevicus]

What about dancing on someone's grave?

 

[VoidCat]

What about dancing on someone's grave?

Depends...how much you want to tick off said spirit? Generally rule 2 applies but if you want to tick someone off go for it.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

So I thought about posting this in a DIR but thought this could be an opportunity to learn about what other religions believe in regards to this if anything and so someone outside of certain religious practices could ask questions about my beliefs if they wish. Be warn this is only in my personal practice many pagans and witches have widely different beliefs on a lot of things and other peoples thoughts may differ. To each their own path. I just want to share what I believe.

1. All graveyards and cemeteries have a guardian over them to watch over the dead. Leave an on offering for them at the gate if possible. Let your purpose be known before you enter and be polite doing so. If at any time you don't feel welcome whether at the gate or in the graveyard get out of dodge.
2. After entering try not to step on any graves. If you do clean up and apologize.
3. If you wish to leave offerings to the dead in general and not to a specific spirit leave it in a neutral spot not on any graves.
4. If possible and you have the time clean off and take care of any run down or neglected graves.
5.If you see any spirits or anything odd don't take pictures or record without permission. Thats just rude.
6.Dont take anything from on or in a grave obviously.
7. If you wish to take something not in or on a grave for magical or other purposes like say a branch that fell on the ground or graveyard dirt ask first then listen to your intuition as to whether or not it's ok. If you get a sickly feeling or bad vibes dont take it. If something is difficult to remove don't take it. If you don't get any bad vibes and you feel it's ok don't take more then you need and say thank you.
8. Leave the way you came with a thank you.

That is in my practice. Would love to hear if anyone else has anything specific to graveyards in their belief system or has any questions about my practice respond.

I think mine is cultural as well as spiritual. When I get the chance, I go to my grandmother's grave and have a talk with her and my aunt (we put some of her ashes there). I'd tell her my day and give her an update on the family. We'd (my mother and I) would bring food they loved on holidays. A lot of times we play music. I personally spend time just sitting and talking or crying or so have you. I haven't been in awhile. I have an altar set up for similar purposes so I can pay my respects daily. It wouldn't be the same if I hadn't have her ashes.

I notice its customary in the States to set flowers and food on grave. A lot of times the gravestones are engraved with crosses and jesus christ praying or looking up to the heavens. Most graves have flowers and/or food. I saw three graves in one set of nothing but children's toys. It's a sad thing to see.

1. I believe that my family members are watching over us and we can communicate with them best when we own the things they owned, places they've been, food they ate, their stories, and of course their ashes.

2. That's weird. Over in the States, we don't step on the graves either. I don't know where I picked that up from but thats one of the cemetery ground rules. For me, I guess I get a gut feeling I'm in someone else's space-both the deceased and their family. So, I'll pay my respects walking by and between but never on.

3. I haven't really thought of that. I guess it depends on how big the cemetery is.

5. I haven't experienced seeing spirits or anything. My mother has on an almost daily basis from one mild extent and others she relayed. But I agree not to take things that aren't yours. If something had fallen from a grave and it wasn't intentional (assuming) of the family member, depending on what it is, I'd put whatever it is back where it was. I rarely do that. Flowers, I don't but if I do, that's the only time I'd go on a grave. But I take my shoes off first.

8. With this, I'd say, respect the religion(s) your deceased family member practiced. So, I wouldn't go to my grandmother, I wouldn't do something contrary to her christian beliefs. The closest I'd do is hold a rosary because of my father's side of the family but I won't say the hail marries cause it feels like I'm lying to them. So, it's a meditational gesture.

9. Yep.

I really didn't pick these up anywhere-on internet and so forth-so I guess it just makes sense. Cultural and instinctive.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

What about dancing on someone's grave?

Haha. Now that's rude. What sort of dance?

 

[VoidCat]

I think mine is cultural as well as spiritual. When I get the chance, I go to my grandmother's grave and have a talk with her and my aunt (we put some of her ashes there). I'd tell her my day and give her an update on the family. We'd (my mother and I) would bring food they loved on holidays. A lot of times we play music. I personally spend time just sitting and talking or crying or so have you. I haven't been in awhile. I have an altar set up for similar purposes so I can pay my respects daily. It wouldn't be the same if I hadn't have her ashes.

I notice its customary in the States to set flowers and food on grave. A lot of times the gravestones are engraved with crosses and jesus christ praying or looking up to the heavens. Most graves have flowers and/or food. I saw three graves in one set of nothing but children's toys. It's a sad thing to see.

1. I believe that my family members are watching over us and we can communicate with them best when we own the things they owned, places they've been, food they ate, their stories, and of course their ashes.

2. That's weird. Over in the States, we don't step on the graves either. I don't know where I picked that up from but thats one of the cemetery ground rules. For me, I guess I get a gut feeling I'm in someone else's space-both the deceased and their family. So, I'll pay my respects walking by and between but never on.

3. I haven't really thought of that. I guess it depends on how big the cemetery is.

5. I haven't experienced seeing spirits or anything. My mother has on an almost daily basis from one mild extent and others she relayed. But I agree not to take things that aren't yours. If something had fallen from a grave and it wasn't intentional (assuming) of the family member, depending on what it is, I'd put whatever it is back where it was. I rarely do that. Flowers, I don't but if I do, that's the only time I'd go on a grave. But I take my shoes off first.

8. With this, I'd say, respect the religion(s) your deceased family member practiced. So, I wouldn't go to my grandmother, I wouldn't do something contrary to her christian beliefs. The closest I'd do is hold a rosary because of my father's side of the family but I won't say the hail marries cause it feels like I'm lying to them. So, it's a meditational gesture.

9. Yep.

I really didn't pick these up anywhere-on internet and so forth-so I guess it just makes sense. Cultural and instinctive.

Just so you know I am from the states...graveyards have a taboo on them here I noticed not a lot of cultural things at least in my upbringing

Edited cuz I submitted it too soon.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I mean no disrespect, but, I see cemeteries as a disposal site for human remains.

No guardians; no spirits. People no longer reside in the bodies left behind after they expire.

My daughter’s grave, while marked with a nice headstone, is rarely visited by me, because while her body lies in the ground beneath, she ain’t there.

 

[VoidCat]

I mean no disrespect, but, I see cemeteries as a disposal site for human remains.

No guardians; no spirits. People no longer reside in the bodies left behind after they expires.

My daughters grave, while marked with a nice headstone, is rarely visited by me, because while her body lies in the ground, she ain’t there.

Understandable.

 

[SalixIncendium]

What about dancing on someone's grave?

Only if it helps the grass grow.

 

[Stevicus]

Haha. Now that's rude. What sort of dance?

It's just an old saying, that if you outlive an enemy and rejoice in their death, you can dance on their grave. I guess any dance will do.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Just so you know I am from the states...graveyards have a taboo on them here I noticed not a lot of cultural things at least in my upbringing

Edited cuz I submitted it too soon.

Just re-reading it. Which state are you from?

In Virginia, it depends on where, really. Further out in the boondocks, you'd see simple old commentaries usually owned by the church or church funeral home next to the church. All my family so far I know are in NC, SC, and Alabama. I finally saw one of my family's cemeteries. I don't think many take care of them as they do in the cities. I haven't had cultural upbringing either if I were to consider it such.

 

[VoidCat]

Just re-reading it. Which state are you from?

In Virginia, it depends on where, really. Further out in the boondocks, you'd see simple old commentaries usually owned by the church or church funeral home next to the church. All my family so far I know are in NC, SC, and Alabama. I finally saw one of my family's cemeteries. I don't think many take care of them as they do in the cities. I haven't had cultural upbringing either if I were to consider it such.

North Carolina...yes cemeteries are usually next to a church.

 

[WalterTrull]

Personally, I don't believe cemeteries have anything to do with the dead. They have to do with the living. Some like remembrances somehow stronger than photos. Whatever etiquette there is totally depends on the living. Abide by it for the livings sake.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Personally, I don't believe cemeteries have anything to do with the dead. They have to do with the living. Some like remembrances somehow stronger than photos. Whatever etiquette there is totally depends on the living. Abide by it for the livings sake.

True. I believe that's how you experience your loved ones. You to them moreso them to you. So if you forget about them, in a sense they forget about you (connection broken). It depends on the nature of the relationship too.

All in all, it's for the living.