family reactions :-(

[Mike182]

hey all

for thos eof you who are GLBT, have you told your family?

if yes, what sort of responses have you encounterd? ive been taken to a christian psychiatrist a few times, but my parents realised it was pointless cus all i did was argue since then, they seem to have accepted it, though how they will react when i bring someone home will perhaps be another issue :biglaugh:

for those of you who are parents, how do you think you would react if your child came home one day, made you a cup of tea, sat down, and told you that they were GLBT? i guess every parent love their child, and would instinctively want what is best for them, and i understand that my parents want to protect me from the cruel and prejudice world

im just interested, but please, no one feel under any pressure to give out any details they are not comfoftable with

blessed be
mike

 

[michel]

hey all

for thos eof you who are GLBT, have you told your family?

if yes, what sort of responses have you encounterd? ive been taken to a christian psychiatrist a few times, but my parents realised it was pointless cus all i did was argue since then, they seem to have accepted it, though how they will react when i bring someone home will perhaps be another issue :biglaugh:

for those of you who are parents, how do you think you would react if your child came home one day, made you a cup of tea, sat down, and told you that they were GLBT? i guess every parent love their child, and would instinctively want what is best for them, and i understand that my parents want to protect me from the cruel and prejudice world

im just interested, but please, no one feel under any pressure to give out any details they are not comfoftable with

blessed be
mike

a) I was once taken to a psychiatrist when I was young, and he was quite insistant on my admitting to being gay; I almost had to fight him off! - he was determined that I should be.

As far as your second scenario is concerned, my wife and I have discussed that on many occasions, just in case. We made up our minds that we would have to be fully accepting, and that, much as we might one day have to accept a girl we would not personally think the best for our son, it would just be a man in her place.

Loving kids is unconditional.

 

[jewscout]

my sister is a lesbian and when she came out to my mom she was so worried that my mother would throw her out on the street or wouldn't love her anymore, but my mother has been very accepting of her sexual orientation.

When she told me it was very anticlimatic...i was like...ok, that's super, whatever.
i don't think of her as being a lesbian, i think of her as being my sister.

 

[Green Gaia]

As far as I know, none of my family knows except for one of my sisters who think I told once when I was drunk, but I don't really remember the conversation and we never spoke of it again. I really wish I could tell all of my family and be open about it, but I am afraid of their reaction. To help me work up to doing that, I'm reading a book right now that Bastet sent me called, [font=Arial, Helvetica]Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers by Michelangelo Signorile.

As a parent, I would be very happy that my child trusted me to share this information with me, but knowing what I know I couldn't help but be concerned for their safety because of hostile ideas against BGLT people.
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[michel]

As far as I know, none of my family knows except for one of my sisters who think I told once when I was drunk, but I don't really remember the conversation and we never spoke of it again. I really wish I could tell all of my family and be open about it, but I am afraid of their reaction. To help me work up to doing that, I'm reading a book right now that Bastet sent me called, [font=Arial, Helvetica]Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers by Michelangelo Signorile.

As a parent, I would be very happy that my child trusted me to share this information with me, but knowing what I know I couldn't help but be concerned for their safety because of hostile ideas against BGLT people.
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As a parent, I would be very happy that my child trusted me to share this information with me, but knowing what I know I couldn't help but be concerned for their safety because of hostile ideas against BGLT people.

How sad; I am so sorry.

 

[robtex]

Mike I am straight but i have worked in a department store for three years now. I have a gay friends there (fashion maybe a gay man's best friend). Because of such I have some insights and things I have tried with them to help them break the ice with their parents.

I have a few times tried helping them find biology and genetic theories on homosexulatiy to share with their parents. Last year a gay friend of mine who is catholic had to tell his father. I remember we both went on the net and got basic info on genetics theory on homosexuality including theories potulated by Dr Dean Hamer .
http://rex.nci.nih.gov/RESEARCH/basic/biochem/hamer.htm

That angle has repeatly failed. Bringing in genetics and biology was repeatly precieved as an attack on their relgion or an instrument of the devil.

I have also encouraged the angle of suggesting it is God's will that this fella is gay based on the following premises:

a) God created all things
b) god created homosexulaity
c) john is homosexual who is created by god
d) therefore it is god's will that john is gay

Obviously I don't believe this but I thougth it could fly. That the christians in question would find merit in it. Repeatly this line of reasoning has failed. All they get are bible qoutes saying homosexulatiy is wrong and silly free will speeches after presenting the bible as an instrument of pre-destination.

I have seen other gays at my part-time talk to their family and friends who are at odds with their sexual idenity about faith and that fails because their family friends say that the gay person CHOOSES not to follow the laws of God.

I have helped them try about 3 or 4 more ideas too but all dead ends. It seems like a pointless endeavor. Some, many. Christians, just will not find any solace or acceptance in gender issues.. Even here in the debates on RF noboby seems to reverse their opinion. Most debates will loosen most people up and change some minds but not gender issues.

I have to confess at this point I am thinking it just isn't reconcilable. The bigger question for another thread could be "why is it not reconcilable?"

 

[Green Gaia]

How sad; I am so sorry.

Don't feel sad for me, I have wonderful people who are supporting me on this. I have you all to talk to about it. My heart goes out to those, especially teens, who have no where to turn and no one they feel they can talk to.

 

[robtex]

Amy, who does know that you live near? Start with them. Espcially if they know your family members. Also UU attracts many gay couples. Open gay couples who hold hands hug and kiss in the church like hetro couples do. Are there any in yours and have you talked to them? Lastly which of your relatives have gay friends? I ask because that might be a safe starting place. Just be sure to ask for cofidentiality as you go along so you can control the pace of the release of your information.

 

[michel]

Don't feel sad for me, I have wonderful people who are supporting me on this. I have you all to talk to about it. My heart goes out to those, especially teens, who have no where to turn and no one they feel they can talk to.

O.K, fair enough, I can see that is a problem in the States; is there no way to advertise where teens can go, to try and find out more ? Websites, forums ?

Off topic - while I was at College Yesterday, I was sitting next to a young woman (mid twenties, I would have thought) who, instead of doing her computing class work, was looking up websites on "Lesbians"; I so wanted to say something, (perhaps even giving her this site's address), and then I thought "If I say something, I am making a thing about it which will make her feel bad ?"

Sometimes I just don't know what to do. And that is in a Country where gays are (on the whole) accepted.

 

[Green Gaia]

Amy, who does know that you live near? Start with them. Espcially if they know your family members. Also UU attracts many gay couples. Open gay couples who hold hands hug and kiss in the church like hetro couples do. Are there any in yours and have you talked to them? Lastly which of your relatives have gay friends? I ask because that might be a safe starting place. Just be sure to ask for cofidentiality as you go along so you can control the pace of the release of your information.

Well, I don't live near any of family now. There are all back in Kentucky. Some people at church know (as you know from reading my journal). And yes, we have quite a few lesbian couples at church. My sexualy is not something that has really come up much to give me a chance to talk about it. But I can think of at least a couple people that I know I could talk too and they would be very willing to listen. I know my sisters have gay friends at school, and it's not really my siblings that I worry about telling, it's my parents and grandparents. It's complicated.

 

[Green Gaia]

O.K, fair enough, I can see that is a problem in the States; is there no way to advertise where teens can go, to try and find out more ? Websites, forums ?

Yes there are and it's getting better, but these kids still have to go home to their parents at night - the people they should be able to talk to.

 

[michel]

Yes there are and it's getting better, but these kids still have to go home to their parents at night - the people they should be able to talk to.

So sad.

 

[Mike182]

I went to my GP and some of my school teachers that i trust a lot, and i was able to talk the issue out for a bit - it helped to talk about it because it gets it off your chest, and they are a step-up from the situation, and so could see possible ways i hadn't thought of

friends are good to support you as well - im very grateful to mine

*hugs*
mike

 

[robtex]

I went to my GP and some of my school teachers that i trust a lot, and i was able to talk the issue out for a bit - it helped to talk about it because it gets it off your chest, and they are a step-up from the situation, and so could see possible ways i hadn't thought of
friends are good to support you as well - im very grateful to mine
*hugs*
mike

Mike are you more feminine or masculine in your mannerisms?

 

[Mike182]

Mike are you more feminine or masculine in your mannerisms?

hehehehe :flirt: ........ go figure :biglaugh:

 

[linwood]

O.K, fair enough, I can see that is a problem in the States; is there no way to advertise where teens can go, to try and find out more ? Websites, forums ?

Alot of high schools have gay awareness clubs for support, anything like that in your area?