Dealing with Homophobia and Sexual Tension

[Radio Frequency X]

A thread was created a couple weeks ago, asking heterosexuals what activities they would feel uncomfortable performing with a homosexual. The result of that poll was quite specific. Heterosexuals on Religious Forums overwhelmingly reported being uncomfortable showering or changing in front of homosexuals, because homosexuals are attracted to the same sex. I have made the argument that this is no different than straight women feeling uncomfortable showering or changing with straight men, for the exact same reason.

For homosexuals: Is this sentiment homophobic or irrational? If so, why? Why should straight males feel more comfortable with homosexuals than straight women feel in front of straight males?

For homosexuals: How does the social commentary regarding homosexuality make you feel and how much/how far commentary can exist before you become uncomfortable?

 

[Mike182]

i wouldn't say homophobic, and i wouldn't say it is necessarily irrational, but it's a very self-conscious sentiment.

i'm surprised at your conclusion from that other thread though, i thought most people who said they wouldn't do the two things you quoted also said in their posts that they are uncomfortable doing that (or don't do that) in front of anyone else anyway, it's not an issue specific to sexuality.

 

[michel]

I did say that I would feel uncomfortable undressing in front of a homosexual - but qualified it by saying that I have problems undressing in front of anyone (except my wife, of course) ........ To be frank, I can see no difference between changing in front of a homosexual of heterosexual if I need make that distinction.

Anyway, how would I know ? (I was thinking of the public swimming pool).

 

[Radio Frequency X]

i wouldn't say homophobic, and i wouldn't say it is necessarily irrational, but it's a very self-conscious sentiment.

i'm surprised at your conclusion from that other thread though, i thought most people who said they wouldn't do the two things you quoted also said in their posts that they are uncomfortable doing that (or don't do that) in front of anyone else anyway, it's not an issue specific to sexuality.

I think a lot of people were insincere in that regard. However, there is a still the question of whether homosexuals find the argument that, heterosexuals can/may/should feel as uncomfortable changing or showering in front of homosexuals, as heterosexual women feel changing or showering in front of heterosexual men, offensive.

Now, without decreasing the importance of this question, I think the separation of the sexes is a negative influence on society, increasing the sexual mystique and leading toward sexual perversions as a result of obsession with that mystique.

 

[PureX]

I suspect that if we had great looking bodies, we wouldn't be embarrassed by having others see us undressed, regardless of their sexual orientation. The outcome of that pole tells us far less about our attitudes toward homosexuals than it does about our attitude toward our own bodies.

 

[Radio Frequency X]

I suspect that if we had great looking bodies, we wouldn't be embarrassed by having others see us undressed, regardless of their sexual orientation. The outcome of that pole tells us far less about our attitudes toward homosexuals than it does about our attitude toward our own bodies.

I think this is a ridiculously good point.

 

[PureX]

The only time I have been uncomfortable with homosexual men was when I was using a bathhouse that homosexual men frequented for reasons other than to change swimwear or use the toilet. And my discomfort was directly related to my not feeling safe in that place.

 

[robtex]

The only time I have been uncomfortable with homosexual men was when I was using a bathhouse that homosexual men frequented for reasons other than to change swimwear or use the toilet. And my discomfort was directly related to my not feeling safe in that place.

yeah, that is a good point from a hetro point of view. I have that martial-arts-bad-dude syndrome going on that precludes me from feeling threatened in situation that it would be reasonable for most to be uncomfortable in. Being threatened is something I dont' feel very often in life.

It creates the dicotomy for me where i wouldn't feel uncomfortable in those situations however, I realize and acknowledge that it is reasonale and natural for most to feel uncomfortable about bathing in front of homosexuals for the same reasons women feel that way around men.

 

[Radio Frequency X]

The only time I have been uncomfortable with homosexual men was when I was using a bathhouse that homosexual men frequented for reasons other than to change swimwear or use the toilet. And my discomfort was directly related to my not feeling safe in that place.

For me, I've had several experiences of being hit on in the showers, jacuzzi, and steam rooms at the gyms of gone to, especially at the universities in Radford and Blacksburg, neither of which are known for a heavy homosexual presence. While I found their comments to be flattering, I didn't like being courted in that situation because it made me self-conscious. I was there to shower and relax. However, it didn't stop me from going. It just stopped me from staying for more than a quick shower when those particular men were there.

 

[PureX]

yeah, that is a good point from a hetro point of view. I have that martial-arts-bad-dude syndrome going on that precludes me from feeling threatened in situation that it would be reasonable for most to be uncomfortable in. Being threatened is something I dont' feel very often in life.

It creates the dicotomy for me where i wouldn't feel uncomfortable in those situations however, I realize and acknowledge that it is reasonale and natural for most to feel uncomfortable about bathing in front of homosexuals for the same reasons women feel that way around men.

It wouldn't be the fact that a man might be looking at me sexually that bothers me. It's that attacks had taken place there in the past. I wasn't bothered by the attention. I was bothered by the attention in conjunction with the reality of danger.

One could have asked similar questions regarding race, rather than sexual orientation. I wouldn't be nerveous being surrounded by black men, just because they were black men. I would be nerveous being surrounded by black men if I knew that there was reason to feel that they might accost me, however.

 

[Papersock]

The only time I have been uncomfortable with homosexual men was when I was using a bathhouse that homosexual men frequented for reasons other than to change swimwear or use the toilet. And my discomfort was directly related to my not feeling safe in that place.

Or maybe if we didn't make nudity such a taboo.
In the United States, at least, nudity is associated with sex. The view seemst to be: if you are naked and alone, then you are bathing. If you are naked with someone else who is also naked, some come of sex must be involved.

 

[Quiddity]

I suspect that if we had great looking bodies, we wouldn't be embarrassed by having others see us undressed, regardless of their sexual orientation. The outcome of that pole tells us far less about our attitudes toward homosexuals than it does about our attitude toward our own bodies.

That's a very good point. I don't think I'm uncomfortable of being naked unless I'm in jail.

 

[standing_alone]

I think I would have to agree with Mike, PureX, and others who said that heterosexuals being uncomfortable about showering with homosexuals says more about people being self-conscious, mostly due to body image - as Mike pointed out, most of the people in the other thread also said they are uncomfortable with showering in front of others regardless of sexual orientation. While some may worry that a homosexual could be in the shower room with them, looking at them in "that" kind of way, I think more people are just uncomfortable with nudity because nudity has been sexualized in our culture and made to be something that must be concealed. That's really all I have to say about that.

As for your question about social commentary and how far it can go before I feel uncomfortable... It depends. When I was working at the factory, whenever anyone brought up homosexuality I was nervous, since most people seemed to be homophobic (one guy practically wore his homophobia like a badge) and even though no one knew I was gay (except for one person), it made me very uncomfortable and it hurt knowing how my coworkers (who I tended to respect) actually felt about (people like) me. Since for the most part I'm closeted, any talk makes me somewhat nervous because of the fear of being "found out" and the potential consequences of that (I was bullied in junior high mostly because I was percieved as gay). If I'm with people that are LGBT-friendly, I'm perfectly comfortable, it's only when there are people present that I know are anti-LGBT that I get uncomfortable and then that depends on the content of discussion.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Heterosexuals on Religious Forums overwhelmingly reported being uncomfortable showering or changing in front of homosexuals, because homosexuals are attracted to the same sex.

From what I read, a big part of that, myself included, also stated they would not do those in front of anyone.

 

[Ðanisty]

From what I read, a big part of that, myself included, also stated they would not do those in front of anyone.

Wouldn't the "anyone" in those comments more than likely be the opposite sex? I think that makes his question valid.

 

[Quoth The Raven]

Wouldn't the "anyone" in those comments more than likely be the opposite sex? I think that makes his question valid.

My take was that the 'anyone' was anyone other than significant others. Though plenty of people then went on to say places like gyms and swimming pools don't necessarily figure in that equation of 'anyone'. A lot of people assumed a one on one situation from the question, because that's how it was phrased.

 

[Aeiralo]

*sigh* Nudity DOES NOT equal sex.

And, for the record, just because a person is gay, (and you're the same gender) DOES NOT MEAN they are automatically going to think of you sexually.

Argh...I'm not good with words. Anyone want to help me?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

*sigh* Nudity DOES NOT equal sex.

And, for the record, just because a person is gay, (and you're the same gender) DOES NOT MEAN they are automatically going to think of you sexually.

Who implied that it did?

 

[NoahideHiker]

A thread was created a couple weeks ago, asking heterosexuals what activities they would feel uncomfortable performing with a homosexual. The result of that poll was quite specific. Heterosexuals on Religious Forums overwhelmingly reported being uncomfortable showering or changing in front of homosexuals, because homosexuals are attracted to the same sex. I have made the argument that this is no different than straight women feeling uncomfortable showering or changing with straight men, for the exact same reason.

For homosexuals: Is this sentiment homophobic or irrational? If so, why? Why should straight males feel more comfortable with homosexuals than straight women feel in front of straight males?

For homosexuals: How does the social commentary regarding homosexuality make you feel and how much/how far commentary can exist before you become uncomfortable?

How can someone say taking your clothes off in front of someone who is gay is homophobic? It's called modesty.

 

[michel]

*sigh* Nudity DOES NOT equal sex.

And, for the record, just because a person is gay, (and you're the same gender) DOES NOT MEAN they are automatically going to think of you sexually.

Argh...I'm not good with words. Anyone want to help me?

You don't need help; I think your post is clear, and fair enough.

What does surprise me is that (most) of the forum members are young -ish..certainly, I am at the "top" age range.

My formative years were in the '50's - and nudity, nakedness, whatever you want to call it was embarassing. Sex was still a very Taboo subject; people didn't (generally) feel comfortable talking about sex/sexuality etc........

But you (younger members) still seem to be "affected" (to some extent) about the subjects, which really surprises me; I thought that society had come a long way since "my" day.

And I agree wholeheartedly that the problem with nakedness is - certainly on my part - more a question of insecurity about what I look like, without clothes on. (which is why I always cover up all the mirrors when I undress.......... ):cover: