I didn't want him/her. I was relieved when s/he died.Precisely. No matter how much you might have loved and longed for that embryo that unfortunately did not survive pregnancy (you have my sympathy for that), it wasn't a child in the medical sense of the term. The fact that you desired it made it your son or daughter.
Doesn't change the fact s/he was a baby and my child. And I chose to create him/her.
Insisting that only words that carry emotions that support your agenda are correct doesn't carry any more weight with me than JesusKnowsYou using the same tactic. My child was a human individual, utterly dependent and voiceless, but a human individual. I don't care about what words you want to use.
Tom