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About to be homeless and considering suicide.

Discussion in 'Member Announcements' started by Saint Frankenstein, Oct 23, 2016.

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  1. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Pyrphóros ⚡ Lux Aeterna
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    So I'm getting kicked out by my roommates. It's over something stupid and I don't feel like going into it. This is the third time this year I'm getting kicked out of somewhere. I'm dead broke and have nowhere to go. I know now that I have no friends irl and that no one really cares about me. The only person that really cared about me and loved me was my mom and she's dead. I'm just worthless garbage that screws everything up.

    I was getting things together, too. I was going to start this employment program this week. But it doesn't matter now. I think I'm cursed. I had goals and plans. I had hopes and dreams. None of that is going to come true, no matter how hard I try. I'm scared to die and I love my dog, but I don't see a solution to this. It's either die or be out on the street in the cold, with no money or anything.
     
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  2. Quetzal

    Quetzal A little to the left and slightly out of focus.
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    May I ask a question?

    What did you have dreams about? Tell me about them.
     
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  3. Sonofason

    Sonofason Well-Known Member

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    I am sorry to hear this news. I do pray everything works out for you. Quickly find new roommates. There's always someone looking to share the expenses. And keep your head up. Things will get better if you persevere.
     
  4. 9-10ths_Penguin

    9-10ths_Penguin 1/10 Riboflavin
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    There's always somewhere to go. I'm confident that you'll figure this out. And there are plenty of people who care about you.
     
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  5. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Pyrphóros ⚡ Lux Aeterna
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    It doesn't matter anymore. Everytime I try to do something positive for myself, I get crushed. It won't stop. I'm obviously not allowed to suceed in this life.
     
  6. Quetzal

    Quetzal A little to the left and slightly out of focus.
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    The reason I ask, is that someone on the forum might have a connection or a person they know who can directly support your dreams or goals. This happened to me, as a matter of fact. I wanted to get into higher education and posted a random thread on reddit. Wouldn't you know it, I ended having a two hour discussion with a guy that ended in me getting a position a few months later. You never know what could happen. That is why I bring it up. :)
     
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  7. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Pyrphóros ⚡ Lux Aeterna
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    I wanted to get a job. I wanted to get my own apartment. I wanted to get my GED and go to college. None of that is going to happen now. I was working on getting a job, but now I can't do that. Now I have to hurry and scramble to find a place to stay. I have no friends and no money. I've already lost so much this year, now I'm going to lose what little I have now. It's over.
     
  8. icehorse

    icehorse Well-Known Member
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    If you're taking any drugs or alcohol, try stopping that for a while. Go for a long walk, get some serious exercise. Clear your mind. A fresh perspective can be a powerful remedy.
     
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  9. Eliab ben Benjamin

    Eliab ben Benjamin Well-Known Member
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    Move into one of my 4 spare bedrooms.....
     
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  10. Sonofason

    Sonofason Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure if this is the kind of answer you are looking for. But what if you tried to do something different. You say, "every time (you) do something positive for (yourself), (you) get crushed". What would happen if you stopped doing that. I am not trying to make any judgments about you. But what if you set out to do something positive for someone else instead. If someone is trying to prevent you from success, perhaps things might go differently if you were not the focus of your success. There are numerous avenues you could travel in this regard. Just a thought based entirely upon what you have said.
     
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  11. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
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    I want to help you. I remember when ben d was saying God wants to starve African children and you were like, maybe he's letting his belief in God confuse him. That was cool.

    Under no condition do I want you dying; you are not demented or in pain; you shouldn't run away from your life because it is meaningful and you can fight for a better world. Aren't we all in this together?

    I have a habit of helping people survive. I have saved many lives besides blood and plasma donation and I don't think I've killed anyone unless I sent bad vibes out into the world.

    Have you considered moving? Many people are very reluctant to move but if they'd just look up places they might find someplace they can live. I hear Silicon Valley is starting universal basic income and isn't Sacremento a homeless sanctuary? Sometimes places will let you sleep in their back yards as long as you're out and about in the day. Homelessness works for a great many people; the biggest problem with it is when you wake up with someone about to attack you. Jump to your feet and defend yourself!

    The best thing you can do is stand up alive for what's right. Promise me that before you go the quick way you will spend the night outside just thinking about it. That's what I learned witches do.

    Do you have food banks? If you find a tent spot can you keep it a secret? Can you wash clothes and shower enough that if you find a temp agency or church who's employing it might work? If you make it could be the biggest adventure of your life! You never know what you might do if you live!
     
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  12. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Pyrphóros ⚡ Lux Aeterna
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    I have no money to move. I don't have a car or anything. I'd love to go back to California, but that's not feasible.
     
  13. Penumbra

    Penumbra Veteran Member
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    Unfortunately a lot of people end up homeless, but it's usually a temporary condition until they get back on their feet. I've been in that situation myself when I was little. There are various charities and shelters that can provide some degree of room and board or support for people, rather than literally having people out in the cold. And I'm sure there are other people you can room with to keep costs very low.

    You're not worthless garbage, and you can get through this. <3
     
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  14. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
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    I talked to a nurse, and all he said was to try family, friends, craigslist, and your local mental health organization. Sorry I can't legally give you more than say $40; they're watching me now because of how much money I've given. I still give small amounts to panhandlers after interviewing them. What do you want to do (to not die or suffer)?
     
  15. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
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    Yeah your definitely loving and that is the most important characteristic the human race needs to keep with it to help it survive.
     
  16. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
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    Have you considered holding a sign up in the street and dancing?
     
  17. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
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    Well... I've got to get some sleep... feel free to call me if I can help... I left my number in your personal message collection.
     
  18. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Pyrphóros ⚡ Lux Aeterna
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    I don't know what to do, really. My phone's cut off because I can't pay the bill, too. :(
     
  19. Jumi

    Jumi Well-Known Member

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    You're not garbage. There's a lot of people here who think of you. Just because you haven't met good people in life doesn't mean we're not out there. Please persevere.
     
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  20. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
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    Have you considered fully the possibility that you might be able to make up with your roommates? You are a Satanist, no? And you are emotional about it. These two things might be hurting your relationship. Perhaps all your super friends on this board from super religions can help you make up. That's an alternative! If I can remember I'll be here tomorrow but you can call me.
     
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