I want to share some personal stories about what I have been up to over the last few years. This post is more for myself than anything else but if you are interested, feel free to tag along.
A few years back, I got my first job that felt like a ‘career’ position. Up until this point, most of my jobs were ad hoc positions. Positions that did not offer much in the way of fulfillment or challenge. I went into this new position fresh out of graduate school, ready to go.
Less than a few weeks in the corporate world that I began to realize a few harsh truths:
Then I made a big mistake.
I became addicted to cannabis. While I acknowledge that the devils lettuce has some benefits, if I am honest with myself, I had no intention of using it in moderation. For those who have never smoked for years at a time, here is a collection of potential issues:
This long winded story does have a happy ending.
Thanks for reading.
A few years back, I got my first job that felt like a ‘career’ position. Up until this point, most of my jobs were ad hoc positions. Positions that did not offer much in the way of fulfillment or challenge. I went into this new position fresh out of graduate school, ready to go.
Less than a few weeks in the corporate world that I began to realize a few harsh truths:
- Most managers are only interested in investment if there is a direct benefit to the company. This isn’t new or unexpected, but there was no personal touch. No friendships or personal connections. My colleagues were nice enough but none of them seemed interested in getting to know each other. It was a cold world that I didn’t understand. In my previous jobs, they weren’t very fun but there was a sense of community. The workers seemed to band together to help alleviate the common denominator: no one liked being there. No such camaraderie existed in the corporate world.
- My salary was not linked to my happiness. In fact, I was less happy after making more money. Years before, money wasn’t always disposable, but it offered more simplicity. I was able to compartmentalize things easier and purchases had meaning and purpose.
- My sense of fulfillment was not linked to my job title or duties. This was a big one. I spent X thousands of dollars on a masters degree cultivating a set of skills. Once I finished and started applying them, I realized nothing seemed to change. My outlook on life got worse, I didn’t have a sense of belonging, nor did I have any real community to call home.
Then I made a big mistake.
I became addicted to cannabis. While I acknowledge that the devils lettuce has some benefits, if I am honest with myself, I had no intention of using it in moderation. For those who have never smoked for years at a time, here is a collection of potential issues:
- It becomes difficult to engage in other people and yourself.
- Your body is unable to enter REM sleep. This makes maintaining healthy sleep patterns difficult to maintain. This issue is exaggerated when you try to quit.
- Weed dulls emotional experiences. That means that once you aren't high anymore, emotions are extreme and hard to control.
- Confidence is difficult to maintain because you are plagued with anxiety and double thinking. This will impact me for a long time and I believe I will need long-term therapy.
This long winded story does have a happy ending.
- I am currently 13 days sober.
- I have eliminated Reddit as a primary source of information and human interaction.
- I have limited my exposure to Twitter and Facebook.
- I have begun engaging in hobbies that have a communal aspect to them. This allows me to make friends and build relationships.
- Thanks to my sobriety, I am able to logically approach problems. Solutions that I would have never seen before are now obvious.
- Despite still participating in corporate America, I am now able to address my angst. Instead of emotionally lashing out, I am able to ask the hard questions about my future and what I want it to look like.
Thanks for reading.
