A Great Fear of Being Ordinary

[joe1776]

I have authored four threads in the Psychology Forum on the topic of Arrogance. I propose that an unconscious need to feel superior to others results in arrogant behavior which should be the prime suspect for human misbehavior. Now, I'll point out that the need to feel superior can also drive perfectionism and high levels of achievement.

Years ago, Bob Fosse, the famous choreographer, admitted that he was driven by "...a great fear of being ordinary." His words resonated with me because I realized that I felt the same fear. Much later that I realized how arrogance was driving much of my behavior, some of it good, but mostly bad.

I wonder now if people use alcohol and drugs because it makes them feel extraordinary. Do they also do outrageous things to make themselves feel extraordinary (maybe even criminal acts?)? Do they always drive well over the posted speed limits because they feel that those signs were meant for ordinary drivers and not those with extraordinary skill?

Yes, I do realize I could be overdoing the number of credible effects generated by the arrogant need to feel superior to others. However, I'll quickly back off if I read or hear about possible causes that make more sense in explaining the behavior I write about.

 

[Nakosis]

I have authored four threads in the Psychology Forum on the topic of Arrogance. I propose that an unconscious need to feel superior to others results in arrogant behavior which should be the prime suspect for human misbehavior. Now, I'll point out that the need to feel superior can also drive perfectionism and high levels of achievement.

Years ago, Bob Fosse, the famous choreographer, admitted that he was driven by "...a great fear of being ordinary." His words resonated with me because I realized that I felt the same fear. Much later that I realized how arrogance was driving much of my behavior, some of it good, but mostly bad.

I wonder now if people use alcohol and drugs because it makes them feel extraordinary. Do they also do outrageous things to make themselves feel extraordinary (maybe even criminal acts?)? Do they always drive well over the posted speed limits because they feel that those signs were meant for ordinary drivers and not those with extraordinary skill?

Yes, I do realize I could be overdoing the number of credible effects generated by the arrogant need to feel superior to others. However, I'll quickly back off if I read or hear about possible causes that make more sense in explaining the behavior I write about.

I use drugs and alcohol to avoid the pain and suck in life. I'd suspect most who find themselves driven to perfection would avoid these distractions. Drive fast for the adrenaline rush, just another type of drug.

IDK, if there is a connection to arrogance, I'm just not seeing it.

 

[joe1776]

I use drugs and alcohol to avoid the pain and suck in life. I'd suspect most who find themselves driven to perfection would avoid these distractions. Drive fast for the adrenaline rush, just another type of drug.

IDK, if there is a connection to arrogance, I'm just not seeing it.

I offered arrogance as a credible cause of both alcoholism and perfectionism. That doesn't mean that perfectionism and alcoholism can't be different effects with the same cause. Perfectionists may well feel extraordinary and not need alcohol or drugs to feel that way.

The question Why does life suck for you? has to be asked in order to find a cause. Isn't the disappointment of not proving yourself extraordinary when sober a plausible cause?

Life sucks is only a fact for you and many others. It isn't a fact for all humans.

 

[MikeDwight]

I've been in jail for 10 years with no habeus corpus and having no arrogance so who knows, man? But you know, 10 years of total suck with dungeons and junk. Alcohol, must be the stick in my butt. You're just like psychology-arrogance-bad behavior whatever man.

 

[MikeDwight]

Hey you're in trouble for Rudeness (that never existed) with at least 5 people, (I know this) so I have the power for you to be on any internet programs you never have , never would use, and disagreed with 3 times. Just want everyone to know how that works. They love having the words they like written by people, like monkeys and typewriters. Stare back at them.

 

[joe1776]

I've been in jail for 10 years with no habeus corpus and having no arrogance so who knows, man? But you know, 10 years of total suck with dungeons and junk. Alcohol, must be the stick in my butt. You're just like psychology-arrogance-bad behavior whatever man.

Hey you're in trouble for Rudeness (that never existed) with at least 5 people, (I know this) so I have the power for you to be on any internet programs you never have , never would use, and disagreed with 3 times. Just want everyone to know how that works. They love having the words they like written by people, like monkeys and typewriters. Stare back at them.

I get your drift. You don;t agree with me. But I don't understand why.

 

[Nakosis]

I offered arrogance as a credible cause of both alcoholism and perfectionism. That doesn't mean that perfectionism and alcoholism can't be different effects with the same cause. Perfectionists may well feel extraordinary and not need alcohol or drugs to feel that way.

The question Why does life suck for you? has to be asked in order to find a cause. Isn't the disappointment of not proving yourself extraordinary when sober a plausible cause?

So if one's life experience doesn't support their arrogance, they turn to alcohol to feel extraordinary? I can see that with drugs, not so much alcohol but alcohol affect different people differently.

Life sucks is only a fact for you and many others. It isn't a fact for all humans.

Death, loss, relationship drama, physical/mental pain, I think part of life is finding distraction from these realities. Someone who isn't aware of the suck is well distracted, IMO.

 

[joe1776]

...Death, loss, relationship drama, physical/mental pain, I think part of life is finding distraction from these realities. Someone who isn't aware of the suck is well distracted, IMO.

I won't be able to explain this well briefly but I think personal growth should be aimed at self-confidence. Self-confident people seem to have nothing to prove, to themselves or anyone else.

Self-confident people can adapt well whether born male or female, of any race, and in any era. They accept the hand life deals them and they play it skillfully, minimizing the loss on a bad hand and maximizing the gain from a good one.

 

[Mock Turtle]

I won't be able to explain this well briefly but I think personal growth should be aimed at self-confidence. Self-confident people seem to have nothing to prove, to themselves or anyone else.

Self-confident people can adapt well whether born male or female, of any race, and in any era. They accept the hand life deals them and they play it skillfully, minimizing the loss on a bad hand and maximizing the gain from a good one.

As I've mentioned before, perhaps insecurity is more important in many ways in its effects on personality traits, so why not delve into this? As you say, those secure within themselves are unlikely to develop so many negative attributes and more likely to see and respect others as persons rather than means to an end all too often.

 

[Howard Is]

Arrogance is camouflage for the real underlying cause of Everything Bad - stagefright.

All of the bad behaviour you cite, and the arrogance, are products of stagefright.

Maybe the world needs better beta blockers ?

 

[Valjean]

Perhaps people use drugs not to feel superior, but to not care that they're ordinary - or losers.

 

[joe1776]

As I've mentioned before, perhaps insecurity is more important in many ways in its effects on personality traits, so why not delve into this? As you say, those secure within themselves are unlikely to develop so many negative attributes and more likely to see and respect others as persons rather than means to an end all too often.

Psychiatrists label high arrogance as a superiority complex and they say that an inferiority complex (insecurity) is always masked in the same personality. This makes sense to me.

However, I think highly arrogant people are more likely to be the wrongdoers and the insecure people (insecurity dominant) are more likely to be the victims.

But I do agree with you that how we see ourselves (self image) in terms of human worth is the key factor in understanding human behavior. Self-confident people don't need to see others as inferior and refuse to be treated as inferior.. They treat others as equals.

 

[joe1776]

Perhaps people use drugs not to feel superior, but to not care that they're ordinary - or losers.

You're right. That's also possible.

 

[Martin]

Perhaps people use drugs not to feel superior, but to not care that they're ordinary - or losers.

Or sometimes because being "ordinary" is boring and frustrating?

 

[joe1776]

Arrogance is camouflage for the real underlying cause of Everything Bad - stagefright.

All of the bad behaviour you cite, and the arrogance, are products of stagefright.

Maybe the world needs better beta blockers ?

Stage-fright? I understand stage-fright to mean a specific type of fear. You are obviously expanding its meaning. Will you explain?

 

[joe1776]

Or sometimes because being "ordinary" is boring and frustrating?

Isn't that just putting arrogance in different words?

Thinking of others as equal in human worth shouldn't make us feel that life is boring or frustrating.

 

[Valjean]

Or sometimes because being "ordinary" is boring and frustrating?

Sometimes because a surge of dopamine just feels good.

 

[Martin]

Isn't that just putting arrogance in different words?

Thinking of others as equal in human worth shouldn't make us feel that life is boring or frustrating.

I think it depends on how much stimulation we need or want. The introvert/extrovert scale is possibly relevant here, but I don't see it particularly as a question of arrogance or comparison with others.

 

[MikeDwight]

I won't be able to explain this well briefly but I think personal growth should be aimed at self-confidence. Self-confident people seem to have nothing to prove, to themselves or anyone else.

Self-confident people can adapt well whether born male or female, of any race, and in any era. They accept the hand life deals them and they play it skillfully, minimizing the loss on a bad hand and maximizing the gain from a good one.

Oh Psychologists LOVE this JUNK man! I knew that part! Hold on, lets see, never Chose, or really, volunteered, short of huge catastrophe, to ever visit any counselor or psychologist, or doctor. And hey, I've met 4 of them. They'll love this stuff.

Ya you were total a broken unhealthy @#*$face before I met you, that's because of your broken #*$%. Transition to a healthy life, you got nothing no one and nothing to live for, that was me, that's the charge there, I write free letters about your suicidal tendencies to loved ones and dump you. Its a free service man.

So you look at people in Specific situations that are not generalizable in Any circumstances and say, well, if they got something to prove to cops with no other viewable, specifiable purpose to a program, they must have a self-confidence, proving problem.

 

[Valjean]

Huh???