Well my dears, If I can't share these two things that happened to me here at RF, where else can I? Frankly this was the reason I came to RF, to find others who have had similar experiences, wheather Christian based or otherwise. I can't possibly be the only one. Although I fear that most people are afraid that if they tell of these things, people will think them to be daft. I'll take that chance. Even if you start to call me crazy ole Martha, I know you still love me.
I will try to be brief, but don't get your hopes up, for these are things that are not easily glossed over. In reference to the first incident, I will direct you to the search button. Type in Letter to the Athiests, go to page 9 and scroll down. I was new to the forums back in October, but gathered the courage to tell my story at length. I will try to condense it a wee bit here.
This is what happened approximately 18 years ago, I was in my thirties. I had been away from church for maybe 15 years at the time. While out walking I happened to see a church with it's center doors wide open. For some reason I decided to go in. There wasn't a soul in the place but me. I noticed a confessional booth up near the front of the church. I went in. It wasn't the same small booth I had remembered, this was larger. Suddenly a voice asked me to come in. Now I wanted to run out. What the heck was I doing in a confessional. I didn't want to confess, I never did like confession. Surely I'm not going in just for the heck of it. Too late though, I was committed now. There he sat, the Monsignor, lucky me , face to face confession, no screen between us! Who knew? I told him it had been a long time since my last confession and that I might not remember my Act of Contrition, which is what we say after our confession. He was kind and said he would help me if I needed it. So I began to recount what I believed to be my sins and after each one he said, " How many times?" How could I remember how many times in fifteen years? I started to get annoyed and finally I blurted out, " A lot, a lot, a lot of times! Suddenly for the first time in my life I realized how many times I had insulted my Lord. I had said that I loved Him, and talked to Him all the time, but I had followed my own mind and turned away from His teachings. I told the priest that I was finished and he told me to begin my Act of Contrition.......and so I began...Oh my God I am heartilly sorry for having offended Thee, for Thou art good and deserving of all my love.....I never meant those words more than at that moment and I began to sob. My tears subsided and he then told me to bow my head for the Absolution, it was here that it happened. He was speaking in latin and as I sat with head
down and
eyes closed I suddenly
felt and
saw this extreme bright light descending over me completely. The intense warmth and brightness was also filled with the most powerful feeling of love I cannot even describe it properly to you. Words fail miserably. Once I was enveloped in this light of love, these words were, how can I say it...heard but not with my ears, they were made known to my mind very clearly......
I have been waiting for you, I forgive you, I love you. Then as suddenly as it had come, it was gone. I wanted to say something to the priest, but somehow I knew he had not experienced a thing. This love that I speak of is a million times more powerful than any love we could experience here. Just think of someone that you have loved, you know the feeling that you get in you chest just at the thought of them. Well that is nothing, nothing compared to this love. My God, your whole essence is LOVE! Unconditional, overwhelming, unending LOVE. I need a moment to regroup. When ever I recall this incident it blows me away , I so long to feel that love again. Guess I'm a little greedy.
Now I will tell of the next incident. This happened to me about 7 years ago. I was attending noon mass. Just a regular day, nothing unusual, go back to work after mass.
When I went up to receive communion, the priest lovingly held up the Eucharist and said " The body of Christ". Instantly the Eucharist which had been the size of a 50 cent piece, was now as large as , well as large as my face. The priest was no longer standing in front of me but in my periferal view some seven or eight feet to my left with his arm extended towards me as if still offering me the Holy Eucharist. It was as if time had stopped and all I could see was this gigantic Eucharist in front of me. It was such a powerful presence. Somehow I breathed out the word Amen. Again instantly the Eucharist was it's original size and the priest was now in front of me and he gave me communion. The only thing that I could take away from this experience, since no words had been spoken, was to focus totally on Jesus.
Well my loves there you have it. Nothing else like these two have ever happend to me again. As you can see there was quite a long time in between them. God has worked in my life many countless times. I have asked Him to use me any way he sees fit and He does. I wish I knew why He chose to show me these things. It was maddening at first. I kept asking why me? Then I would say, " Ok, now I know without doubt that you can speak to me, so what do you want of me?" Finally I just say, " Thank you Father for your gift, I will do what I can with this love you have shown me."
Ok my friends, you can close your mouths now, and some of you can stop laughing too!
Some of you might believe, some may doubt, but I can never deny that this happened. I truly hope that perhaps there is another person that will read this, that has felt His presence in a tangible way and will not be afraid to share it with us. As I said, I can't possibly be the only one. I also don't believe that this only happens to christians. I believe God reveals Himself to His children all over the world. I would like to hear about it.
Thank you all for your time and indulgence. Miraculous? I'll leave that to your interpretation.
Joyfully in Jesus,
Martha