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Should We Accept Others As They Are?
- Thread starter Sunstone
- Start date
jeffrey
â Ãig Dogâ
Buttercup
Veteran Member
Jeff, I guess I'm not at all sure of where you're coming from, sorry.
You didn't answer my first question. By saying, "this is not hard" is not answering the question so our conversation isn't going anywhere. Could you please add more to your answer?
I'm an easy going person, always have been. What does that have to do with reality? Lots. It means I have had quite a few friends and part of the reason for that is that I let people be who they are without being critical of the small stuff.....and, I've been let down very FEW times. Personally, I find it rather easy to accept people as they are. I'm not sure why that's so hard to believe?
You didn't answer my first question. By saying, "this is not hard" is not answering the question so our conversation isn't going anywhere. Could you please add more to your answer?
I'm an easy going person, always have been. What does that have to do with reality? Lots. It means I have had quite a few friends and part of the reason for that is that I let people be who they are without being critical of the small stuff.....and, I've been let down very FEW times. Personally, I find it rather easy to accept people as they are. I'm not sure why that's so hard to believe?
Buttercup
Veteran Member
I'll ask you again......so are you calling the rest of us liars? My comments are honest. Or, is Draka "honest" because she agrees with YOU?
Buttercup
Veteran Member
Every person on earth is guilty of "talking behind someone's back" at one time or another. I've talked about my husband behind his back. Doesn't meant I don't still accept him as he is. It only means I was frustrated with him and talked about that frustration with someone other than him.
jeffrey
â Ãig Dogâ
When I was young, I was the same way. easy come, easy go. But the older you get, the more you realize hoe selfish and backstabbing people are. At 1st it doesn't bother you. hey, it's just they way they are. Accept them. And when you are away they trey to sleep with your spouse. Accept them, eh? it's just the way they are.
Bitter, maybe. But being around many a friend that talked about screwing around on their wife while trying to project being the perfect husband to their spouses face.... And their wife thinking they have the most perfect husband, all the while trying to sleep with...
And the older I get the more I see people only caring about themselves and you being a springboard to their own needs...
Example?
People that have joined my wife's forum only to promote their own needs..
Ms Chimp, please do not take offense when I call you nieve. You are a very smart woman, one I respect.
Just keep your eyes open.... And never be afraid to learn...
jeffrey
â Ãig Dogâ
Would you tell him this? Or better yet, someone you don't like, would you be nice to their face, or tell them what you really thought about them?
Buttercup
Veteran Member
Of course I wouldn't be accepting of that kind of crap....no one would. And, I'm not sure if you read my comment earlier in the thread but I don't claim to 'accept everyone' either....especially people like you describe. I'm talking about people in general. I trust until I don't have a reason to not trust. It's worked good for me so far and life is easier that way. I can think of only two or three friendships I've ended in my life do to a lapse of trust.
That's very unfortunate and I'm sorry. I rarely run across that mindset.
Thanks for the tips, Jeff. I suspect I'll have to keep my eyes open much more often as my business continues to grow. I've already been ripped off for $12,000 and I had to start all over.
Buttercup
Veteran Member
Yes, and I have.
If I have a problem with someone, believe it or not, I tell them. That's the key to clean living I swear!
jeffrey
â Ãig Dogâ
You have never been nice to someone you disliked? (I have)
Buttercup
Veteran Member
Of course. Which is a kinder way to act? Like a jerk or at least be polite?
jeffrey
â Ãig Dogâ
Case in point. The man that I have to fix the fernance is strange. But he charges half the price of anyone else around. I'm nice to him to save me money, the whole time thinking, "Please do your thing and leave!!!"
My wife and my daughter (from a previous marriage) do not get along. She is nice to her and bites her tongue because she is my daughter.
\Do I accept the repair man??? hell no. Does my wife "Accept" my daughter? No she does not, only to her face. I don't expect her to. My daughter can be a bit©h to her.
But to sat "That's just the way she is and she has her reasons"...
My wife and my daughter (from a previous marriage) do not get along. She is nice to her and bites her tongue because she is my daughter.
\Do I accept the repair man??? hell no. Does my wife "Accept" my daughter? No she does not, only to her face. I don't expect her to. My daughter can be a bit©h to her.
But to sat "That's just the way she is and she has her reasons"...
jeffrey
â Ãig Dogâ
Why is the truth being a jerk? So you can talk about them late behind his/her back? Think about it. You are "polite" to someone to their face, then tell hubby how much you dislike such person. Is this not the definition of 'Two faced"? (I've done it myself, but I do admit to it and am not proud of it)
Storm
ThrUU the Looking Glass
There's a big difference between behaving like a civil adult and pretending to like someone.
Buttercup
Veteran Member
In that case it's obvious this guy isn't going to be a good friend of yours....nothing wrong with realizing that. Still, you owe him kindness just by the simple fact he's a human being. Now, if this guy was your brother-in-law and you HAD to "accept" him to keep family matters harmonious, it might be tougher to do. I have family members I don't particularly like but I certainly don't try to change them.....which is the main premise of the OP. I talk to them about subjects they enjoy and just try to have fun at the family event. To me, that's accepting people as they are. Perhaps that's not your definition, but, it's part of mine anyway.
Buttercup
Veteran Member
If I am in a social situation, there is absolutely no way I am going to embarrass myself or my husband by saying anything rude to a person I don't like, what's the point? I am very, very rarely in that situation anyway thank goodness.
jeffrey
â Ãig Dogâ
What is your definition of "civil adult"?
Don't you think it is possible to be a civil adult and not pretend to like somebody?
Don't you think it is possible to pretend to like somebody and not be a civil adult?
Hey, all I'm saying is that it is possible to do one or the other.
But, can you pretend to like adult films with uncivil actors? j/k
jeffrey
â Ãig Dogâ
Ok, so you will pretend to like someone to keep from embarrassing yourself, but talk later about him to others behind his back, just so you are not embarressed.
Storm
ThrUU the Looking Glass
Someone mature enough to treat even people they dislike with a modicum of courtesy.