I assume you're referring to China or the USSR, but, while socialist inspired, they were/are not particularly socialist in practice. When the proletariat is controlled by a dominant, rich, powerful class, it's not socialist.
Unfortunately, there are always authoritarians, social dominants, and an owner-class eager to claw their way to power, wealth, and control; and reluctant to share.
Don't be taken in by constitutions, declarations, titles and claims. America was influenced by enlightenment values, and fancied itself democratic -- but only if you were a white, male landowner.
Socialism is democratic, egalitarian, compassionate, non-exploitative -- and without a ruling class.
Consider at the mainstream definition I cited....
"a theory or system of social organization that advocates the ownership and
control of the means of production and distribution, capital, land, etc., by the
community as a whole, usually through a centralized government."
Domination of the proletariat is included in the definition.
Moreover, a powerful central government is necessary for socialism
because it's a system which must necessarily repress the natural
tendency people have for free economic association.
You claimed....
"Socialism is democratic, egalitarian, compassionate, non-exploitative -- and without a ruling class."
None of those traits are in the definition of "socialism".
It's your personal definition.
I suppose I could claim that "socialism" defined as....
A powerful authoritarian central government run by elites, &
characterized by oppression, famine, inefficiency, & poverty.
But I don't see the usefulness of insisting that this personal
definition should be used by all.