How many Socialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but when it inevitably fails, they will be sure to inform us it wasn't a real light bulb.
Why can't you tell socialists a joke?
Because not everyone will get it.
Why did the socialist drop out of high school math?
Because there were too many damn inequalities.
A Communist, Socialist and Capitalist all agree to meet at a cafe.
The Communist and the Capitalist arrive on time but the Socialist is late.
A hour later, the Socialist rushes in.
'Sorry I'm late guys' he said, 'I had to wait in line for a sausage'.
'What's a line?' asked the Capitalist.
'What's a sausage?' asked the Communist
I didn't realize how cold it was outside today...
... until I saw socialists with their hands in their own pockets
What's the difference between a capitalist world and a socialist one?
In the first, man exploits man. In the second, it's the other way around.
What did socialists use before candles?
Electricity.
A guy is visiting San Francisco, and walks into a small store in Chinatown.
He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.
He asks the owner "how much", and the owner replies "$50 for the bronze rat, and $1000 for the story behind it."
The guy says, "forget the story", and buys the rat.
As he's walking down the street he notices two live rats following him. As he continues to walk, more rats start following him.
He starts to get a little concerned, and heads for the waterfront. By the time he gets there, there are thousands and thousands of rats following him.
He walks up to the end of the pier and throws the bronze rat into the bay, and the rats all follow and leap off of the pier and drown.
The guy rushes back to the store and walks in. The owner says, "Ah!, so your back for the story".
The guys says, "No, I was wondering if you have a bronze Socialist Liberal Democrat?"
The 60+ Best Socialist Jokes - ↑UPJOKE↑
Just one, but when it inevitably fails, they will be sure to inform us it wasn't a real light bulb.
Why can't you tell socialists a joke?
Because not everyone will get it.
Why did the socialist drop out of high school math?
Because there were too many damn inequalities.
A Communist, Socialist and Capitalist all agree to meet at a cafe.
The Communist and the Capitalist arrive on time but the Socialist is late.
A hour later, the Socialist rushes in.
'Sorry I'm late guys' he said, 'I had to wait in line for a sausage'.
'What's a line?' asked the Capitalist.
'What's a sausage?' asked the Communist
I didn't realize how cold it was outside today...
... until I saw socialists with their hands in their own pockets
What's the difference between a capitalist world and a socialist one?
In the first, man exploits man. In the second, it's the other way around.
What did socialists use before candles?
Electricity.
A guy is visiting San Francisco, and walks into a small store in Chinatown.
He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.
He asks the owner "how much", and the owner replies "$50 for the bronze rat, and $1000 for the story behind it."
The guy says, "forget the story", and buys the rat.
As he's walking down the street he notices two live rats following him. As he continues to walk, more rats start following him.
He starts to get a little concerned, and heads for the waterfront. By the time he gets there, there are thousands and thousands of rats following him.
He walks up to the end of the pier and throws the bronze rat into the bay, and the rats all follow and leap off of the pier and drown.
The guy rushes back to the store and walks in. The owner says, "Ah!, so your back for the story".
The guys says, "No, I was wondering if you have a bronze Socialist Liberal Democrat?"
The 60+ Best Socialist Jokes - ↑UPJOKE↑