Spiderman
Veteran Member
I haven't had a girlfriend for over 3 years. I'm excited. She's half black, half white, and truly gorgeous imo
It's so good to have companionship with someone I find attractive. I feel so comfortable around her and usually am not comfortable when around a female I find attractive.
She's down to earth, fun, has an adorable, charming smile and just brightens up the room. But she doesn't like herself. When I told her I found her attractive she said she wasn't. She's wounded and struggles with a lot of the things that I struggle with.
Unfortunately, she does some favors for other guys (if you know what I mean) to support her addiction.
But hell, Jesus hung out with the destitute, the drunkards, prostitutes, the tax collectors, and was a friend of sinners.
Anyhow, when her mom died she came up to me in the middle of the night, wept, and we held each other. It was precious. I asked her if I could walk her home. She said, " this is my home" (the streets.) .I told her that her mother is alive in spirit, looking out for her, and will be reunited with her. she found a lot of meaning and comfort in those words.
One of her past boyfriends is my friend and said she cries herself to sleep every night. I actually see that as an attractive quality that makes me cherish her more.
Imo it's easier to love someone when they are full of sorrow. But i only saw that side of her once. She is always bubbly and full of smiles and joy. She always seems to have a great time and gives me hugs and smiles when I look defeated and miserable.
She even has a pure childlike look of innocence (though that could be deceptive.)
Im partying with her all night but can't share what we do, cuz when I do that my threads get deleted.
Anyhow, she can't take a compliment it seems. Some women find flattery too offensive. Also a lot of young women like the rebels and bad boys who don't treat them well and don't want to be loved. But there are other signs that she isn't like that. She hangs out with a lot of hoodlums, but she hangs out with humble and handicapt people too.
Either way, I love her and will spend most of the 70 dollars I make a week on her. She will likely cheat on me (at least that's the word on the streets.) But oddly enough, I don't mind.
A lot of women shun me, but she is one of those people that will hug a leper. So, her other vices don't bother me. She is simply looking in the wrong places for happiness, and I can't judge people for how they pursue a content life, cos I've been as bad or worse in seeking such bliss than the vast majority of people.
I'll try not to worship her like I've done to previous girls. I totally get why that offends people and makes them want to bolt. She doesn't want some one obssessed with her, so I'll try not to be, but too late.
She is very affectionate towards those who are handicapped, the addicts, the mentally ill, the dregs of society.
One of her best friends is an old hurting guy in a wheelchair whose fingers and toes were lost from frostbite, which indicates that she's not stuck up, or vain , or selfish. She is a bundle of love and associates with the lowly, and loves people that others avoid.
She isn't bothered by other peoples flaws, and that is no small thing imo
This feels like the best day of my life (thanks to her). I have to pay her back ten fold. It feels like I'm in debt to her.
Anyway, everyone has their demons. I'm sure there will be dissapointments. That's life.
Am just crazy about her, but will try not to show it.
Sorry, it's just sensory overload to have a girlfriend after three years of not having one , and most of the females I like were rejecting me , because I'm just too poor and have issues , so I found myself in relationships where I had to be intoxicated to enjoy their company. That is so not her though.
It's great to be loved and wanted by some one I cherish. This also will get me to go to the YMCA and lift weights and down lots of protein because she motivates me to be more of a man and be self-disciplined to please her more.
She motivates me to want to keep my room clean and have good hygiene, cuz she is kinda a clean freak and I'm quite a Savage, and my room a disaster cos I don't have the motivation. But am now motivated to please her.
Okay, you probably don't care about all this, and maybe we won't be good for eachother, but dissapointment is what im accustomed to, so it's expected. For now, I can't get enough of her.
Hopefully things will last after the honeymoon, but people that fall in love like this can become worst enemies and I saw that with my mom and her 4 marriages that all ended in divorce, regret, and heart ache.
I won't be surprised if it turns into something heartbreaking or fiasco disaster , but for now she brings me a joy that I wish the whole world had.
Being in love is an addictive drug, and can damage people severely too. I can't tell you how many high school kids kill themselves over a girlfriend breaking up with them or vice versa. So, I'm not so naive.
For now it is euphoric and fun. I'll cross that bridge when it comes rather than meet the problems and drama half way.
Yes, it is clear from this post that I'm obsessed with her and infatuated, but I'll hide it. I know not to act too excited and not give over the top compliments and flattery.
Whatever happens happens. Ill get over it. I just wish everyone felt as I do today. But what goes up must come down. Its our destiny to fall apart, whither, and decay.
It's sure nice to have this gift from God and blessing however, but in the end I know it won't last.
All of us must suffer and die. For now, I'll not be too clingy to that which perishes.
We must carry the cross daily, but it's great to have relief for a while like today. This post has been a bit childish, but I've always been an adult child and miserable, but am very excited and euphoric now.
I know to keep the joy and excitement in check and hope to God she doesn't ever read this post. She's not here at the moment cuz she's trying to get something that will help us be enjoying an all nighter together.
I learned to not to be clingy, dress better, be more ambitious, look better, comb hair, shower daily, get better clothing, be presentable, dont be lazy, try to not be narcissistic, be self-disciplined, hopefully stop being an adult child eventually.
But yeah, I'm officially the boyfriend of the girl that I had my eyes on and had a crush on since I met her. (It's not that severely disturbed girl I mentioned elsewhere that I had a crush on. She got evicted).
Anyway, it might be that it isn't good to spend all my money on her, but I'll do it anyway and suffer the consequences.
Any advice?
Peace!
It's so good to have companionship with someone I find attractive. I feel so comfortable around her and usually am not comfortable when around a female I find attractive.
She's down to earth, fun, has an adorable, charming smile and just brightens up the room. But she doesn't like herself. When I told her I found her attractive she said she wasn't. She's wounded and struggles with a lot of the things that I struggle with.
Unfortunately, she does some favors for other guys (if you know what I mean) to support her addiction.
But hell, Jesus hung out with the destitute, the drunkards, prostitutes, the tax collectors, and was a friend of sinners.
Anyhow, when her mom died she came up to me in the middle of the night, wept, and we held each other. It was precious. I asked her if I could walk her home. She said, " this is my home" (the streets.) .I told her that her mother is alive in spirit, looking out for her, and will be reunited with her. she found a lot of meaning and comfort in those words.
One of her past boyfriends is my friend and said she cries herself to sleep every night. I actually see that as an attractive quality that makes me cherish her more.
Imo it's easier to love someone when they are full of sorrow. But i only saw that side of her once. She is always bubbly and full of smiles and joy. She always seems to have a great time and gives me hugs and smiles when I look defeated and miserable.
She even has a pure childlike look of innocence (though that could be deceptive.)
Im partying with her all night but can't share what we do, cuz when I do that my threads get deleted.
Anyhow, she can't take a compliment it seems. Some women find flattery too offensive. Also a lot of young women like the rebels and bad boys who don't treat them well and don't want to be loved. But there are other signs that she isn't like that. She hangs out with a lot of hoodlums, but she hangs out with humble and handicapt people too.
Either way, I love her and will spend most of the 70 dollars I make a week on her. She will likely cheat on me (at least that's the word on the streets.) But oddly enough, I don't mind.
A lot of women shun me, but she is one of those people that will hug a leper. So, her other vices don't bother me. She is simply looking in the wrong places for happiness, and I can't judge people for how they pursue a content life, cos I've been as bad or worse in seeking such bliss than the vast majority of people.
I'll try not to worship her like I've done to previous girls. I totally get why that offends people and makes them want to bolt. She doesn't want some one obssessed with her, so I'll try not to be, but too late.
She is very affectionate towards those who are handicapped, the addicts, the mentally ill, the dregs of society.
One of her best friends is an old hurting guy in a wheelchair whose fingers and toes were lost from frostbite, which indicates that she's not stuck up, or vain , or selfish. She is a bundle of love and associates with the lowly, and loves people that others avoid.
She isn't bothered by other peoples flaws, and that is no small thing imo
This feels like the best day of my life (thanks to her). I have to pay her back ten fold. It feels like I'm in debt to her.
Anyway, everyone has their demons. I'm sure there will be dissapointments. That's life.
Am just crazy about her, but will try not to show it.
Sorry, it's just sensory overload to have a girlfriend after three years of not having one , and most of the females I like were rejecting me , because I'm just too poor and have issues , so I found myself in relationships where I had to be intoxicated to enjoy their company. That is so not her though.
It's great to be loved and wanted by some one I cherish. This also will get me to go to the YMCA and lift weights and down lots of protein because she motivates me to be more of a man and be self-disciplined to please her more.
She motivates me to want to keep my room clean and have good hygiene, cuz she is kinda a clean freak and I'm quite a Savage, and my room a disaster cos I don't have the motivation. But am now motivated to please her.
Okay, you probably don't care about all this, and maybe we won't be good for eachother, but dissapointment is what im accustomed to, so it's expected. For now, I can't get enough of her.
Hopefully things will last after the honeymoon, but people that fall in love like this can become worst enemies and I saw that with my mom and her 4 marriages that all ended in divorce, regret, and heart ache.
I won't be surprised if it turns into something heartbreaking or fiasco disaster , but for now she brings me a joy that I wish the whole world had.
Being in love is an addictive drug, and can damage people severely too. I can't tell you how many high school kids kill themselves over a girlfriend breaking up with them or vice versa. So, I'm not so naive.
For now it is euphoric and fun. I'll cross that bridge when it comes rather than meet the problems and drama half way.
Yes, it is clear from this post that I'm obsessed with her and infatuated, but I'll hide it. I know not to act too excited and not give over the top compliments and flattery.
Whatever happens happens. Ill get over it. I just wish everyone felt as I do today. But what goes up must come down. Its our destiny to fall apart, whither, and decay.
It's sure nice to have this gift from God and blessing however, but in the end I know it won't last.
All of us must suffer and die. For now, I'll not be too clingy to that which perishes.
We must carry the cross daily, but it's great to have relief for a while like today. This post has been a bit childish, but I've always been an adult child and miserable, but am very excited and euphoric now.
I know to keep the joy and excitement in check and hope to God she doesn't ever read this post. She's not here at the moment cuz she's trying to get something that will help us be enjoying an all nighter together.
I learned to not to be clingy, dress better, be more ambitious, look better, comb hair, shower daily, get better clothing, be presentable, dont be lazy, try to not be narcissistic, be self-disciplined, hopefully stop being an adult child eventually.
But yeah, I'm officially the boyfriend of the girl that I had my eyes on and had a crush on since I met her. (It's not that severely disturbed girl I mentioned elsewhere that I had a crush on. She got evicted).
Anyway, it might be that it isn't good to spend all my money on her, but I'll do it anyway and suffer the consequences.
Any advice?
Peace!
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