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No, I wouldnt. I have a dear friend who is atheist and his wife is not.When it comes to dating as an atheist, do you tend to only date atheists? If you were to meet someone say, out at a club or wherever...and after a few dates, you discover that the person is a devout theist...would you continue dating the person?
Just curious.
When it comes to dating as an atheist, do you tend to only date atheists? If you were to meet someone say, out at a club or wherever...and after a few dates, you discover that the person is a devout theist...would you continue dating the person?
Just curious.
Okay, so I'm delving back into the mists of time here, since I haven't dated in 20 years (OMG!)
Wow, you had a date only 20 years ago??? C'mon, don't be stingy, spill the beans, dish the dirt, give us the gossip. I met somebody once who had a date only 10 years ago! I have to tell you, that was an amazing conversation, they still remembered all kinds of stuff.
He's in his fifties, and just keeps telling me how much 'dating' has changed...lol
Well that doesn't help at all. How am I supposed to know what changed if I can't remember what it was before???? Why are you being so uncooperative?? I've decided I'm not going to date you. My wife has decided that too.
I came out as an atheist during my current relationship but I think that it wouldnt bother me what religion someone belongs to as long as they dont try to convert me or push it on me. Might be awkward dating a christian though (because I am gay).
haha okay. This works I'd say in all aspects, except for religion. I have seen friends of mine who are married, and one is an atheist or a non-Christian, the other is Christian...and it's hard on them. Largely, because religion often decides a person's worldview, depending on how devout he/she is...Well, that's interesting. I can offer only this.
I am hyper-philosophical, a genetic defect.
My wife is a-philosophical, too wise and practical to concern herself with things she can do nothing about.
I have a relentless big picture focus, my wife is the master of detail.
If you stay married long enough, what tends to happen is that two individuals merge in to a single entity. If those two individuals are different in some respects, the resulting single entity winds up being bigger than if they were the same.
My last date was about 35 years ago, so I guess I won't comment there.
Dating??? What's that???
Yea, I should have clarified my opening post, but if you're just casually dating, it might not even come up...but, for more serious dating relationships, or once two people decide to takes things into becoming ''exclusive,'' that's when it would matter more.No, I wouldnt. I have a dear friend who is atheist and his wife is not.
Thanks for your comment! As I replied to Typist, if someone is into their religion, it sort of shapes their worldview...how they see politics, how they see a lot of things. I think ti's not as simple as many think it might be. I have also observed a few married couples whereby they both started out as Christians, and one or the other spouse decides to depart from the faith...and the marriage takes a rocky turn. Everyone is different though, so I can't apply the same broad brush to others, as I might apply to myself.Okay, so I'm delving back into the mists of time here, since I haven't dated in 20 years (OMG!) but how I acted then still applies to my thinking now, I reckon.
1) Definitely wouldn't only date atheists. If I find someone attractive, and if they find me attractive, then that's good enough to start with. Actually, I've dated people I didn't find particularly attractive, as long as I found them interesting. Sometimes attraction builds, I find. But same basic theory. The dating process should be about getting to know someone. I don't like people to think 'Oh, he's an atheist, I know what he's like', so try not to do the same with others. Plus, I'm unlikely to know if someone I just met is a theist, unless they have they're 'Jesus Loves' t-shirt on, or are carting around Mjolnir in their boot. (see? I don't forget my pagan brothers...lol) Took me a while to work out my now wife's religious beliefs. (agnostic-ish initially, now atheist, but I swear I didn't hide her spirituality under a couch cushion)
2) A few dates in might be time for the first gentle conversations around this. 'Sure, I like you, by the way did you know I'm going to hell when I die?'...that kinda thing. If they don't have a problem with it, then I wouldn't either. Live and let live, upto a certain point.
3) Eventually, you get to know the person pretty well. Eventually, perhaps, you start thinking about longer term. Then it may become important to have a few conversations. For me, the big ticket items were marriage and kids. As in, do you want to get married, how would that work, do you want to have kids, and how would that work. It's really no different for ANY two people, regardless of theism-status, since even different flavours of Christianity, or cultural issues, or socio-economic backgrounds, or anything else can massively influence what you consider 'normal'. If you're at the point of seriousness with someone, then a few serious conversations should come with the territory.
So, on to specifics. I dated a practising Catholic, who happened to be an Anglo-Indian, for long enough to get to point 2 in the little list above. Actually, I was at point 2, but one thing I realised is that for some theists, point 2 and point 3 amount to the same thing.
We had the serious conversations and decided it wouldn't work for us. I can happily be married to someone with different beliefs to me, but I wouldn't make vows I don't believe in, and I was very reluctant to have any children I bore do the same. It was the right decision for me.
Having said that, in no way did it put me off dating either Christians or Anglo-Indians. She was a nice girl, and we had a few things in common. Depends how much time you're willing to invest in just getting to know someone versus finding 'The One' I guess.
That's just it though, often...many religious people feel the need to 'save' others or recruit them to their way of thinking. I'm happy you came out.I came out as an atheist during my current relationship but I think that it wouldnt bother me what religion someone belongs to as long as they dont try to convert me or push it on me. Might be awkward dating a christian though (because I am gay).
Thanks for your comment! As I replied to Typist, if someone is into their religion, it sort of shapes their worldview...how they see politics, how they see a lot of things.
I think ti's not as simple as many think it might be.
I have also observed a few married couples whereby they both started out as Christians, and one or the other spouse decides to depart from the faith...and the marriage takes a rocky turn.
Everyone is different though, so I can't apply the same broad brush to others, as I might apply to myself.
When it comes to dating as an atheist, do you tend to only date atheists? If you were to meet someone say, out at a club or wherever...and after a few dates, you discover that the person is a devout theist...would you continue dating the person?
I'm confused. Did your wife decide YOU weren't dating me, or did she decide SHE wasn't dating me?
He was trying to find nice places to meet girls, and it turns out that those places don't really exist (if they ever have).
Instead, people use apps to get hook-ups, and appear to meet life partners via dating sites, or in the same manner they always have (ie. complete accident, or based on one of their mates having a hot sister...)
That's how I read your post. I've dated lots of believers and to a one, the relationships all broke up over other reasons. I could not see myself with a devout believer, because my non-belief is not something I am willing to pretend about. I had no intention of raising my kid in religion (which I'm not doing) and I wasn't excited about getting married in a church (which worked out, because none of the churches where I lived in the south were willing to marry an atheist). When I married my husband, his dog tags said "roman catholic" (they now say a6nostic) but he wasn't practicing and if you asked him if he believed in god, he'd go "meh". It took him quite a while being with me (we celebrate 18 years this fall) me before he was willing to say "no", and I'm sure his family blames his lack of belief on me, though he'd tell you he hasn't believed since he was a kid (neither has his only brother and I had nothing to do with that, either).Yea, I should have clarified my opening post, but if you're just casually dating, it might not even come up...but, for more serious dating relationships, or once two people decide to takes things into becoming ''exclusive,'' that's when it would matter more.