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Letting children decide for themselves
- Thread starter Misty
- Start date
It's been fixed already, Kathryn. Sangha had posted here a reply meant for the thread about the dying wishes of a parent.
That should have gone in the " Should I have lied" thread. I have no idea why that ended up here. I'm just here for your entertainment y'all.
:curtsy: Thank you. Thank you.
I told my kids that there's no evidence for God, & that it's silly to believe in it. With a proper foundation laid, they then got to make up their minds for themselves.
My daughter even went to church with a friend for a while when religion looked appealing. That phase wore off.
My daughter even went to church with a friend for a while when religion looked appealing. That phase wore off.
Dunemeister
Well-Known Member
This is the sort of thing I'd expect of a parent who (a) has opinions about such matters and (b) thinks they're important. So although I strongly disagree with you, I applaud you for taking up your responsibility as a parent and actually teaching them.
Peacewise
Active Member
Did you do the same for santa claus and the easter bunny? Perhaps enlightening your kids to the evidence that reveals that these pagan and christian celebrations have been taken over by capitalist society in an effort to have everyone buy stuff they don't need so they can throw it out with the added bonus of polluting the environment.
But the tooth fairy, ah he is real, he lives in Bourke, outback Australia, I know I've met him, Uncle Ian aka "tooth fairy", he built his house from teeth which are quite the bit cheaper than bricks for a dentist working in a sugar affluent society.
Myths and beliefs abound, I hope that you are revealing to your kids the various consequences of each of the thousands or so beliefs that society sneaks into our conscious every week at a rate of 3000 adverts a day. Coke is great, McDonalds is fun, two minutes a day will make you skinny! etc etc.
Perhaps in the blanket rejection of religion you might miss that lovely and worthwhile ideal - Golden rule... hey yeh, if you do miss that then maybe the kids can be that little bit closer to the selfish attitude that capitalism wants us all to have with our consumer glasses on.
Buy now, you'll feel great... (for a bit), then you can buy then, you'll feel fantastic (for a bit) then you can buy, buy buy.
Is it any wonder that Christianity is under the pump? The fundies are shouting out their bigotted hatred in the same sentence as love god, whilst the capitalist are threatened by "harder for a rich man to get to heaven than a camel pass through the eye of a needle". Whilst the 'muslim enemy' points their finger at the hypocrisy of the politicians who claim to be christian yet don't even remotely follow the golden rule - that greatest christian commandment, the sum of the law.
I wonder how well the kids can make up their minds too, when they are bombarded by 3000 adverts a day and their friends are too.
it's_sam
Freak of Nature
:icon_twis
I wonder how well the kids can make up their minds too, when they are bombarded by 3000 adverts a day and their friends are too.
We had a rule when our kids were young, if a present on their wish list was advertised on TV they wouldn't be receiving it! They were almost invariably pleased with the presents they actually received, and some are still played with by the grandchildren.
We had a rule when our kids were young, if a present on their wish list was advertised on TV they wouldn't be receiving it! They were almost invariably pleased with the presents they actually received, and some are still played with by the grandchildren.
Man of Faith
Well-Known Member
I made sure my kids got saved. I don't want to be in Heaven without them.
I didn't have to tell them that these guys didn't exist....no one ever portrayed them as real. Plus, the god stuff comes up when they're older than the Santa Claus & Tooth Fairy phase.
I prefer a pro-capitalist message.
We cover a lot of bogus material foisted upon us by the media....like Obama representing hope & change.
no-body
Well-Known Member
I think the individual choice should ultimately be left up to the parents. After all if they want their kids growing up in the tradition of their religion that is their choice. But as soon as the kid is able to reason if they don't want to do it anymore the parent should stand aside and let them or it is a form of child abuse. This notion scares the heck out of the fundamentalist because they want to dominate and treat their children like little slaves. Look at the Westboro church.
Dunemeister
Well-Known Member
It doesn't scare me for that reason. It scares me to think that people seriously think that a twelve-year-old (say) has the cognitive, emotional, and social equipment to make such an important decision as to abandon a religion. Ridiculous. The emerging ability to reason is not yet fully formed until well into a person's teen years, and even then, they lack maturity to reason well. It's not child abuse to insist on a way of life for your children. It's child abuse to burden a child with momentous decisions when they are not ready.
Peacewise
Active Member
Which I presume begins with capitalism's core maxim.
"Greed is good", that's pro-capitalist isn't it, to acknowledge its greatest truth.
That's pro-capitalist, but not very instructive. "Rational & ethical self-interest is good" is more to the point.
Twelve years old, you say? Isn't that right around the normal age for observances like Confirmation and Bar Mitzvah? I take it that you're opposed to these sorts of practices as well, right? After all, if a tween is to young to abandon a religion then he must also be too young to adopt one, mustn't he?
I've been thinking about this more, and I think I need to go back to it:
As I touched on before, I think it tends to be a religious upbringing (specifically, an upbringing in a single faith, usually the one of the child's parents) that imposes these sorts of huge decisions on a child. For example, I personally have major issues with throwing a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old into a supposedly permanent decision about the religion of the rest of his or her life, as is done in the case of Confirmation. I don't see this sort of burden being placed on children raised in homes that allow the child a true opportunity for exploration and free choice.
Who do you think is suggesting this? I don't think that letting a child decide for themselves does this at all. In fact, I think that's the option that lets the child postpone the decision until they feel that they're ready.
As I touched on before, I think it tends to be a religious upbringing (specifically, an upbringing in a single faith, usually the one of the child's parents) that imposes these sorts of huge decisions on a child. For example, I personally have major issues with throwing a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old into a supposedly permanent decision about the religion of the rest of his or her life, as is done in the case of Confirmation. I don't see this sort of burden being placed on children raised in homes that allow the child a true opportunity for exploration and free choice.
Only to a point. Parents are stewards of their children, not their owners. The rights of a parent to decide the fate of his or her child is predicated on the assumption that the parent is acting in the child's best interest.
Morally, if not legally, I think that it's important to remember that the parents' actions in raising their child are done on behalf of the autonomous adult with full rights that the child will grow up to become.
Peacewise
Active Member
LOL, ok mate, you want to call "greed", "rational and ethical self interest" no worries, you just put a big smile on my face, thanks for that.
Vasilisa Jade
Formerly Saint Tigeress
I have to agree with 9-10ths. If they are able to adopt, they are able to abandon. The only thing the child is missing is experiences. Without experiences the child relies on the experiences of others to make their decisions. If a parent wants their child to be able to make their own decisions, they must proactively support providing varied information and experiences to their children.
I had the ability to adopt and abandon reasonably at age 12. I was given lots of information about religion and many different churches tried to pull me in before that. My dad stayed out of it. I went to a church when I was 7 or 8 with my grandma, which was my own choice. The message and the people were deeply fake, and although I didn't understand what I was sensing, I knew was among the wrong type of people and in the wrong environment for me. When I was 10 or 11, I made the decision all on my own to join the LDS church. I was the only one in my family. I agreed with the message. Later when I was 15, I made the decision to leave, and I don't regret my decision to join in the slightest. Later when I was 18 or 19, I sort of began to find a type of spirituality that really fit me. I don't think it would have been as easy for me to do that if I wouldn't have begun my own explorations and study independently, and as early as I did. I'm sure I might have still found what I think is right for me, but it might have been much much later and I don't like to waste time with myself.