Worst Song Lyrics Ever . . .

[doppelganger]

What is the worst line or stanza you can remember from a popular song . . .

Almost all of the ones I can think of come from the band "America", and yes, these are all hit songs from the same band:

On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound - "Horse with no name"

Cause the free wind is blowin' through your hair
and the day surround your daylight there
Seasons cryin' no despair
Alligator lizards in the air - "Ventura Highway"


Sometimes late when things are real
And people share the gift of gab between themselves
Some are quick to take the bait
And catch the perfect prize that waits among the shelves
- "Tin Man"

Muskrat Susie, muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And Sammy's so skinny - "Muskrat Love"

 

[Jaymes]

Thread winner, hands down:

I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps.
Black Eyed Peas - My Humps

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Sometimes late when things are real
And people share the gift of gab between themselves
Some are quick to take the bait
And catch the perfect prize that waits among the shelves
- "Tin Man"

Interestingly, I read a lot of the same mysticism that we often discuss in this song.

The "Gift of Gab" represents storytelling, mythology. Late at night, reality appears different than during the day, and the lines between reality and fantasy are blurred (hence ghost stories being much more frightening than during the day). The "quick" are the ones who can grasp the pearls of meaning left between the lines of the "gabbing."

The refrain of the song is "But Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn't already have. And cause never was the reason for the evening, or the Tropic of Sir Galahad." This represents the allegory and meaning behind things that may be taken literally or without soul.

(Sorry, I'm something of an America fan! )

 

[doppelganger]

Interestingly, I read a lot of the same mysticism that we often discuss in this song.

Alright, maybe . . .

And I always loved the line "Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn't, didn't already have., and cause never was the reason for the evening" which are actually really good lyrics. But then they go and ruin it with " . . .or the Tropic of Sir Galahad" :areyoucra

And, "alligator lizards in the air" . . . "There were plants and birds and rocks and things"?! The prosecution rests . . .

Their melodies and harmonies were great though, which is why they are memorable.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Alright, maybe . . .

And I always loved the line "Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn't, didn't already have., and cause never was the reason for the evening" which are actually really good lyrics. But then they go and ruin it with " . . .or the Tropic of Sir Galahad" :areyoucra

And, "alligator lizards in the air" . . . "There were plants and birds and rocks and things"?! The prosecution rests . . .

Their melodies and harmonies were great though, which is why they are memorable.

Yeah, I do agree that many of their lyrics had a lot to be desired. Especially in "Muskrat Love"

 

[Wandered Off]

My wife unfortunately listens to country music, and this gem from the band Lone Star caught my ear:

You either do or don't believe that it can or can't be done.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

The Fergie song "Glamorous" has been all over the radio. I particularly can't stand this line:

"If you aint got no money take yo'broke a** home
You say: If you aint got no money take yo'broke a** home
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S"

The rest of the song seems to say that glamour and fame aren't all they're cracked up to be. But I think it's mostly lost in the presentation and the above stanza.

Madonna's "Material Girl" is so sickingly superficial I am amazed it was ever popular. Still, I think it is important as an example of how materialism obscures true happiness.

"Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they're O.K.
If they don't give me proper credit
I just walk away
They can beg and they can plead
But they can't see the light, that's right
'Cause the boy with the cold hard cash
Is always Mister Right, 'cause we are

Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl."

 

[Booko]

(Showing my age here...)

Duke duke duke
duke of Earl Earl Earl
Duke of Earl Earl Earl
Duke of Earl Earl Earl


Mah nah mah na
doo doo doo doo doo
Mah nah mah na
doo doo doo doo
Mah nah mah na
doo doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo
doo doo doo
doo doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo-doo doo.


Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy.
A kid'll eat ivy too -- wouldn't you?


And the ever-popular "When the bird goes away" which was entirely written by some guys to prove the point that lyrics during the 50s were really really STUPID.

And it became a hit song. :thud:

 

[Booko]

Madonna's "Material Girl" is so sickingly superficial I am amazed it was ever popular. Still, I think it is important as an example of how materialism obscures true happiness.

Maybe the superficial nature of "Material Girl" was just a way to drive home the point.

Eibhlin says she hates some tune "Umbrella" made apparently by some crazy person who doesn't wear any clothes.

Anyone know what the pflarg she's talking about?

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Maybe the superficial nature of "Material Girl" was just a way to drive home the point.

That could be. Ditto on "Glamorous" by Fergie.

 

[Scuba Pete]

What is the worst line or stanza you can remember from a popular song . . .

"Horse with no name"
"Ventura Highway"

"Tin Man"
"Muskrat Love"

The man speaks nothing but lies and heresies! Great lyrics, awesome memories and a wonderful part of my life was spent growing up trying to ponder the mysteries of these tunes. Next we will hear him rage against the most holy song: Safety Dance (Is it Safe to Dance?).

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance
Danc¨¦e!

We can go when we want to
The night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
And surprise 'em with the victory cry
Say, we can act if want to
If we don't nobody will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile

[Refrain]
I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We're doing it from wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody takin' the cha-a-a-ance

Safety dance
Is it safe to dance
Is it safe to dance

S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y
Safe, dance!

We can dance if we want to
We've got all your life and mine
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything'll work out right
I say, we can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine

[Refrain]

Is it safe to dance, oh is it safe to dance [6x]
Is it safe to dance
​

 

[Booko]

Oh my! How could I forget this beaut!

MacArthur Park (an excerpt):

Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

For the full story, consult the mighty Wiki:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacArthur_Park_(song)

 

[Smoke]

I think "MacArthur Park" is probably the winner. However, I despise everything by Bobby Goldsboro, for instance, "Honey":

She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
​

And then there was Terry Jacks' "Seasons in the Sun":

Goodbye, Papa, please pray for me,
I was the black sheep of the family.
You tried to teach me right from wrong.
Too much wine and too much song,
wonder how I get along.

Goodbye, Papa, it's hard to die
when all the birds are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air.
Little children everywhere.
When you see them I'll be there.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the wine and the song,
like the seasons, all have gone.​

 

[doppelganger]

Next we will hear him rage against the most holy song: Safety Dance (Is it Safe to Dance?).

I would never defile Safety Dance.:no:

 

[Inky]

(Sorry, I'm something of an America fan! )

I'll always have a soft spot for America because they did the soundtrack for the film version of Peter Beagle's The Last Unicorn. I watched that movie obsessively when I was little.

Behind Blue Eyes has the dumbest lyrics I remember right now. I'm not a fan of self-pity in lyrics. :sarcastic

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard on their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

 

[Buttercup]

Even though it was before my time, I remember hearing a song by Paul Anka called "You're Having My Baby" and thought I was going to choke from laughing so hard.

 

[Phil Lawton]

Eibhlin says she hates some tune "Umbrella" made apparently by some crazy person who doesn't wear any clothes.

Anyone know what the pflarg she's talking about?

For your delectation, B.

I also know a good shrink who'll sort you out afterwards:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4X7eFbP3u4

 

[Phil Lawton]

From "Life" by Des'ree:

"I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news."

Kids today...they'd rather stuff their faces with burnt bread than contact the afterlife...tuh. When I was young, all of this was fields, of course.....(wanders off)

 

[James the Persian]

Without doubt it's:

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no there's no limits (or as we sang, lyrics)

repeated ad nauseum to a '90s Dutch techno 'tune'.

James

 

[FatMan]

Thread winner, hands down:

I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps.
Black Eyed Peas - My Humps

It's hard to argue with that, but I offer two alternatives:
Hey Mickey you're so fine.
You're so fine you blow my mind.
Hey Mickey. Hey, Hey, Mickey.

And the Shakesperean-like lyrics of Gwen:
Oooh, this my s*it, this my s*it
Oooh, this my s*it, this my s*it
Oooh, this my s*it, this my s*it
Oooh, this my s*it, this my s*it

Let me hear you say
This sh*t is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This sh*t is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This sh*t is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This sh*t is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S