Why do people leave any religion?

[Vinayaka]

This is an extension of the thread "Why do people leave Christianity?" I thought that Christianity was singled out, perhaps unfairly, as a religion that has people leaving. In reality, any and all religions have people leaving. Many of the reasons apply to all religions, not just Christianity.

On line, there are ex-________ forums of all the great religions. Ex-Muslim, ex-JW, ex-Hindu, ex-Baha'i, you name it, somebody has left it.

One insinuation I saw in the other thread was that people left because they found a religion that was better, which I liken to subtle proselytising. It's the 'it doesn't happen in my faith' syndrome. But it does.

There are many factors, obviously, and I think the main one might just be that said religion, whatever it is, simply no longer makes sense to that person. I also believe it's most common for people born into a religion, but never really looked at closely, or questioned, until young adulthood, or the onset of formal thought. In other words, on the es-forums, you see a lot of youth leaving. Fourteen-year-olds, who have come to question their faith. The internet has made alternative views readily available.

Thoughts?

 

[JustGeorge]

I find it interesting that when one says "I left (insert a religion here)" one assumes this was a negative thing, or the person who left has hard feelings toward the past religion. Why does this have to be so?

 

[Vinayaka]

I find it interesting that when one says "I left (insert a religion here)" one assumes this was a negative thing, or the person who left has hard feelings toward the past religion. Why does this have to be so?

So true. It often isn't. There are lots of reasons, like 'moved on', or incapable of living up to the standards at this time'. For every person who signs on to an ex-_______ forum to vent, there are probably 10 more who just walk away in peace. People who had childhood faiths don't always hate their old faith. I loved my agnostic upbringing, for example.

Thanks.

 

[JustGeorge]

Honestly, when I embraced the faith I knew in my heart I was heading towards(Hinduism), I developed a whole new appreciation for the faith I left. If I'd have fought to stay in my former religion, I don't think I'd feel so much love for it now.

 

[Rival]

It's complicated...................

 

[Nakosis]

This is an extension of the thread "Why do people leave Christianity?" I thought that Christianity was singled out, perhaps unfairly, as a religion that has people leaving. In reality, any and all religions have people leaving. Many of the reasons apply to all religions, not just Christianity.

On line, there are ex-________ forums of all the great religions. Ex-Muslim, ex-JW, ex-Hindu, ex-Baha'i, you name it, somebody has left it.

One insinuation I saw in the other thread was that people left because they found a religion that was better, which I liken to subtle proselytising. It's the 'it doesn't happen in my faith' syndrome. But it does.

There are many factors, obviously, and I think the main one might just be that said religion, whatever it is, simply no longer makes sense to that person. I also believe it's most common for people born into a religion, but never really looked at closely, or questioned, until young adulthood, or the onset of formal thought. In other words, on the es-forums, you see a lot of youth leaving. Fourteen-year-olds, who have come to question their faith. The internet has made alternative views readily available.

Thoughts?

Main reason, hypocrites. When I found the leadership to be hypocrites.

Second reason was my belief evolved beyond the "truth" taught by the religion.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

For me, it's because it doesn't work for me anymore, if it ever did.

I'm pulling away from Germanic Heathenry and looking to the Hellenic Gods now, because I feel that would be better for my mental health and because I actually feel a closeness to the Olympian deities.

 

[Vinayaka]

For some people it's a phase, or a fad, and at the end of that fad, they leave. In many cases they can look back and laugh at how foolish they were. There's also the slow slow leave, which i think is fairly common, but we rarely hear about it.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

This is an extension of the thread "Why do people leave Christianity?" I thought that Christianity was singled out, perhaps unfairly, as a religion that has people leaving. In reality, any and all religions have people leaving. Many of the reasons apply to all religions, not just Christianity.

On line, there are ex-________ forums of all the great religions. Ex-Muslim, ex-JW, ex-Hindu, ex-Baha'i, you name it, somebody has left it.

One insinuation I saw in the other thread was that people left because they found a religion that was better, which I liken to subtle proselytizing. It's the 'it doesn't happen in my faith' syndrome. But it does.

There are many factors, obviously, and I think the main one might just be that said religion, whatever it is, simply no longer makes sense to that person. I also believe it's most common for people born into a religion, but never really looked at closely, or questioned, until young adulthood, or the onset of formal thought. In other words, on the es-forums, you see a lot of youth leaving. Fourteen-year-olds, who have come to question their faith. The internet has made alternative views readily available.

Thoughts?

That's a good question. I think people leave faith for a couple of reasons

1. Gut conflict
2. It's foreign (not worth the effort)
3. Too many options
4. Indoctrination
5. Soul searching
6. The people (who are examples of that faith)
7. No or little support from people whose religion they are drawn to (frustration from rejection)
8. Among other reasons

In my opinion, if you already have a said core value and you learn about a religion that conflicts with that value, you either have to find reason to change your core value (what are the benefits or consequences; what are my biases) or stick to it and drop that religion of interest. People leave faiths because they try to drop their core value to adopt another, but if it's a deal breaker, they'd always be disappointed.

I also believe that people can't "turn off" their core values. If it defines them, they can't would be hard-pressed to change it. Leaving a faith is most likely that religion, on a deeper level, doesn't align with their core values and it doesn't provide support and cultivation (from the practitioners who may be warry of welcoming a newbie) and lack of patients and effort to understand the religion to be practiced.

Religion is supposed to Be your core value not an addition to it. So, I would have expanded on the eight reasons above but still trying to get the gist of your question since I'm sure you know why people do on a more surface level. I honestly don't believe it's "leaving" a faith insomuch its more that faith never aligned with their worldview so their practice and belief were superficial to what that religion purpose is and the structure of how its supposed to be practiced.

One insinuation I saw in the other thread was that people left because they found a religion that was better, which I liken to subtle proselytizing. It's the 'it doesn't happen in my faith' syndrome. But it does.

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Are you saying that leaving one's faith is subtle proselytizing?

 

[Vinayaka]

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Are you saying that leaving one's faith is subtle proselytizing?

Only when it's stated how their new faith is so so much better. "Old faith ... BAD, new faith ... WONDERFUL". So when it becomes more about what you found than what you left. When the question is about why you left a faith, is it really about the new faith at all? Course I'm probably totally wrong.

 

[Twilight Hue]

This is an extension of the thread "Why do people leave Christianity?" I thought that Christianity was singled out, perhaps unfairly, as a religion that has people leaving. In reality, any and all religions have people leaving. Many of the reasons apply to all religions, not just Christianity.

On line, there are ex-________ forums of all the great religions. Ex-Muslim, ex-JW, ex-Hindu, ex-Baha'i, you name it, somebody has left it.

One insinuation I saw in the other thread was that people left because they found a religion that was better, which I liken to subtle proselytising. It's the 'it doesn't happen in my faith' syndrome. But it does.

There are many factors, obviously, and I think the main one might just be that said religion, whatever it is, simply no longer makes sense to that person. I also believe it's most common for people born into a religion, but never really looked at closely, or questioned, until young adulthood, or the onset of formal thought. In other words, on the es-forums, you see a lot of youth leaving. Fourteen-year-olds, who have come to question their faith. The internet has made alternative views readily available.

Thoughts?

People go with what resonates at the time. Of course things can and do change so it's not unusual to include change of religions.

Something I thought I'd never do, but I did.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Only when it's stated how their new faith is so so much better. "Old faith ... BAD, new faith ... WONDERFUL". So when it becomes more about what you found than what you left. When the question is about why you left a faith, is it really about the new faith at all? Course I'm probably totally wrong.

I think this is more signs of false signs of spiritual awakening below. I read the site awhile back and many people when they find a wonderful faith, the way I can kinda tell it may not be for them is that they are not cultivating bad habits and asking questions of sensitive things they may need to overcome to really say (if its appropriate) they have a new faith (or rather they found values they know is 100% true regardless and are willing to learn more about these values even the uncomfortable ones).

There is a youtube video (if you like) is short and the lady was saying when you first find are spiritually awakened (whether through new religion or not), everything is light and glory. Then after months, you start confronting your old self. The right religion will support you through it. The former one will leave you asking questions. I only know of two people on RF that started off with spiritual proselytizing.

You know. That's a good point. If you're talking about why you left a religion by talking about the former religion, then it may be a false awakening. Usually when people "fall in love" they talk about the other person not themselves.

I'm all over the place, but if you're into into reading, I thought this might be a good read. Jump to "Spiritual Traps: False Signs of Spiritual Awakening" The list is short and sweat.

Spiritual Awakening Signs: 10 Authentic Symptoms + 5 Spiritual Traps

 

[Vinayaka]

I think this is more signs of false signs of spiritual awakening below. I read the site awhile back and many people when they find a wonderful faith, the way I can kinda tell it may not be for them is that they are not cultivating bad habits and asking questions of sensitive things they may need to overcome to really say (if its appropriate) they have a new faith (or rather they found values they know is 100% true regardless and are willing to learn more about these values even the uncomfortable ones).

There is a youtube video (if you like) is short and the lady was saying when you first find are spiritually awakened (whether through new religion or not), everything is light and glory. Then after months, you start confronting your old self. The right religion will support you through it. The former one will leave you asking questions. I only know of two people on RF that started off with spiritual proselytizing.

You know. That's a good point. If you're talking about why you left a religion by talking about the former religion, then it may be a false awakening. Usually when people "fall in love" they talk about the other person not themselves.

I'm all over the place, but if you're into into reading, I thought this might be a good read. Jump to "Spiritual Traps: False Signs of Spiritual Awakening" The list is short and sweat.

Spiritual Awakening Signs: 10 Authentic Symptoms + 5 Spiritual Traps

Thanks for that list. I've seen similar ones. I've been around a few incredibly wise people, and one thing they never do is talk about themselves. They also have a glow. So it's discernible to any aware eye. "All show, no glow," was a saying I heard about it.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Thanks for that list. I've seen similar ones. I've been around a few incredibly wise people, and one thing they never do is talk about themselves. They also have a glow. So it's discernible to any aware eye. "All show, no glow," was a saying I heard about it.

Yeah. I've seen that glow. Sometimes I'm almost at the tip and then my old habit and thoughts knock me over. It takes a lot of effort, time, and patience. Religion helps with structure but unless one has practiced awhile born into it or convert, that glow, in my opinion, wouldn't happen overnight. Though many have had spiritual awakenings quick. A few big triggers are lifestyle change (loosing a loved one can lead to it). But I haven't met any who did from religious cultivation. It takes patience and to some extent a guide (if going in a religious sense).

Though, you can see a show is a stepping stone to getting rid of ego. Would you think one would glows overnight? Maybe we (in general) are putting too much expectation on people.

 

[Quintessence]

As a perspective, religion done right is one's way of life - it is who one is and who one belongs to. These things change over course of life. So too, does religion. The need to "leave" a religion happens when religions become institutionalized. As institutions, they are unable to adapt to individual life changes as rapidly. This is part of why I strongly prefer non-institutional religion, personally. My religion just changes as I do, with not much fuss, because my religion is mine alone and no one else's. I may have concordance with some institutional structures, but I have no attachment or obligation to these structures in most cases (or rather, the things I do have this with are not usually labeled "religion" in my culture).

 

[darkskies]

Honestly, when I embraced the faith I knew in my heart I was heading towards(Hinduism), I developed a whole new appreciation for the faith I left. If I'd have fought to stay in my former religion, I don't think I'd feel so much love for it now.

EXACTLY-
And I thought I was the only one.

 

[Rival]

As a perspective, religion done right is one's way of life - it is who one is and who one belongs to. These things change over course of life. So too, does religion. The need to "leave" a religion happens when religions become institutionalized. As institutions, they are unable to adapt to individual life changes as rapidly. This is part of why I strongly prefer non-institutional religion, personally. My religion just changes as I do, with not much fuss, because my religion is mine alone and no one else's. I may have concordance with some institutional structures, but I have no attachment or obligation to these structures in most cases (or rather, the things I do have this with are not usually labeled "religion" in my culture).

We're the opposite lol. I'm looking for an institution or at least a semblance of a strong group unity.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

This is an extension of the thread "Why do people leave Christianity?" I thought that Christianity was singled out, perhaps unfairly, as a religion that has people leaving. In reality, any and all religions have people leaving. Many of the reasons apply to all religions, not just Christianity.

On line, there are ex-________ forums of all the great religions. Ex-Muslim, ex-JW, ex-Hindu, ex-Baha'i, you name it, somebody has left it.

One insinuation I saw in the other thread was that people left because they found a religion that was better, which I liken to subtle proselytising. It's the 'it doesn't happen in my faith' syndrome. But it does.

There are many factors, obviously, and I think the main one might just be that said religion, whatever it is, simply no longer makes sense to that person. I also believe it's most common for people born into a religion, but never really looked at closely, or questioned, until young adulthood, or the onset of formal thought. In other words, on the es-forums, you see a lot of youth leaving. Fourteen-year-olds, who have come to question their faith. The internet has made alternative views readily available.

Thoughts?

It's an interesting point you make about the impact of the internet.
For me, I left Christianity in early high school (although I'd had doubts as far back as I can remember...8 or 9 years old maybe). But there was a clear gap between leaving the Church I'd been raised in, and then assessing other options.

I left, spent a few years basically without much deep thought about religion, and then revisited when I reached Uni, and become more exposed to a variety of worldviews, including both religious and non-religious.

Were I to go through the same journey now, perhaps I'd be more likely to 'self-service' by joining groups or forums to discuss various aspects of religion, in terms of how different beliefs fitted with me? Not sure.
Certainly when I was 14/15 I read widely about religions, and found Buddhism the most compatible with my general worldview...but it would have been quite the challenge at that age, and where I lived, and coming from a Christian family to wander out and start exploring it on a whim. (not that my parents controlled my beliefs...I was lucky enough to have freedom of thought in that area)

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Only when it's stated how their new faith is so so much better. "Old faith ... BAD, new faith ... WONDERFUL". So when it becomes more about what you found than what you left. When the question is about why you left a faith, is it really about the new faith at all? Course I'm probably totally wrong.

I don't think you're totally wrong at all, but I'd make the point that this behaviour is not limited to religious folk. 'New' atheists, reformed smokers, vegans...there is definitely a common reaction to 'finding' a subjectively better way of life. I think it's related to us commonly focused on the 'new car smell', and not really assessing or realising some of the negatives/issues, etc until later.

It's also possibly a psychological response seeking to confirm the decision already made.

Revisit these people after a few years, and they'd almost invariably have a much more balanced, nuanced, and informative viewpoint, I think.

 

[Quintessence]

We're the opposite lol. I'm looking for an institution or at least a semblance of a strong group unity.

It's not that I don't look for such things at all - like I said, there are institutions I have affiliation with but that are not usually considered religious in my country. Both education and the sciences are highly institutionalized here, and I have notable obligations to both that I personally consider an extension of my religion. These things are considered "secular" in my non-polytheist culture, however, especially with the dominance of Protestant-style theological thinking where "believing in" stuff is what is emphasized over doing stuff.