Shushersbedamned
Well-Known Member
The what's it like having kids triggered my fear of possibly ever having kids - calm my mind. Are you absolutely miserable because you don't have/didn't have kids?
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What is it like not having kids?
- Thread starter Shushersbedamned
- Start date
I won't have kids because two males cannot make children.
so...it's nature
so...it's nature
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
I won't have kids because two males cannot make children.
so...it's nature
There's always adoption.
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
Children aren't for everyone, and there are plenty of people who are perfectly happy not being a parent. In fact, if there are any lingering doubts at all, don't.
I echo and amplify that statement.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
There are times when I am a bit sad about it like when I hear everyone at work talking about their kids and grand-kids, or when I think of getting old and not having any children, but I know we made the right decision not to have kids and that is what is most important.
My dad did not want children, so that had an obvious effect upon me. My mom said she wanted kids, but one never would have known that. None of us three children got any attention. Nobody even talked to us about what we would do when we grew up, so we were all completely on our own. It is a small miracle all of us went to college and my sister and I got advanced degrees. That is probably because my dad had a PhD which set an example. My mother was also educated although she had to drop out of college when my brother was born during WWII.
My husband's parents did not really want children either and he was in a similar situation to me with getting no attention at all, and to add to that he was abused physically... WHY would anyone who had childhoods like we had want children? Some people do though, because they try to do it right given what they did not get growing up. Sometimes that works out well, sometimes not.
I never wanted children and I was also afraid of childbirth. I was much more interested in academia and a career. I was in college for over 15 years of my life and I was also in recovery for my childhood issues for about 15 years. After that, it was too late to think about children.
I echo what others have said on this thread... if you have any doubts, do not have children.
My husband and I have always had cats, first only two, then three, then four, then more. At one time we had 23 cats.
We only have 11 now, so it seems like hardly any sometimes. They are all Persians so they require a lot of grooming and one is older and ill so he needs special medical attention. My husband does that because he used to be a nurse. He also does most of the feeding and litter boxes because he is retired and I am not.Usually, by the time people are our age, their kids have their own lives so they can enjoy their retirement and only have themselves to worry about, but it will never be that way for us because we will always have the cats. When they have passed on, we just got some more. I am not sorry for that because I love them so much. My husband feels the same way.
The only thing I miss is the ability to travel, but I can get by without that because I traveled a lot when I was younger. I now travel around on forums.Whether it is the kids or cats or dogs we get back what we give and I think it is worth all the work. It also builds our character because we have to make the necessary sacrifices.
I should add that at this stage of my life what I feel is most important is getting it right with God and doing something with my religion. For all of my adult life I believed in God and was a Baha'i, but I never did anything with that until the last five years. Now I have to make up for lost time.
Twilight Hue
Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
Nope. Actually quite happy without children.
One trip to the grocery store always reminds me of why I'm happy. "0)
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
Im free, smart given my situation, and dont have to "do what the romans do". Taking care of a human being is not like taking care of a car. We can return and exchange a car. Unless we cant take care of a child, exchanging a child is quite harder to do
but you cant return it.Children has never be my thing; but, other women dont mind the challenge.
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Twilight Hue
Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
My friend and his wife absolutely adore having children and are quite content and happy. I think it really comes down to the person themselves.
I think the worst possible reason to have children would be the notion that you must have children for sake of tradition, religion, social standing, or what not.
Three of our kids don't have kids themselves. It's their choice and I support it. Those people who recognise that they most likely aren't cut out for it are doing the planet and society a favour by not having kids. What I don't get is any animosity going in either direction between tose with, and those without, Reminds me too much or religious proselytising. None of your business how others choose to deal with this, or any other issue.
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
I can see that. I think the latter, unless they are forced, I wouldnt see it as an issue. What I dont like is seeing women and couples having children when theyre not ready.
I had a neighbor with MS who decided just because, she wanted a child. She couldnt take of her and almost dropped the infant on the coffee table, I saw. The government gave her parents custody of the child. Without her parents, she would have lost her. But I understand it insomuch some neurological conditions, like mine as well, mess up our sense of judgement and impulse.
PureX
Veteran Member
Not at all.
I was (shall we say) a little miserable without kids. My body clock was ticking and i felt the need to reproduce. My children fulfilled a need in me.
However i know several people who are content to live a child free life without the responsibility and financial constraints children impose.
GoodbyeDave
Well-Known Member
I've never felt any urge to be a father. I think a lot of people (to judge by their subsequent behaviour) repoduce merely because it's just what everyone else is doing.