THe other day, I was with a person who usually knows exactly who to push my buttons. He is very explosive sometimes and raises voice when feels little.
He did everything that usually ticks me off, to which with time I ve been able to defuse most of the anger that comes from me when such things happen. This time, he did absolutely everything and when he said my trigger words:
"You are ___"
I said : "False"
He said this many times over and I just replied "false" in a completely calm and honest demeanor.
Finally, he threw some silliness to the floor and stormed off. I noticed I wasnt even in the least angry. I wasnt angry because I knew his rant wasnt at all about me. I knew his reaction to me was not my responsibility. I finally deeply understood how his words were just words and that any emotions they may trigger are on me.
I made it. I am the master of my emotions.
That's how I felt
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A guy was bothering a friend of mine who is a midget. He usually bothered me too, he was a straight forward bully. He began saying things like :Yeah I am gonna step on you! yeah! I am going to step on you! (the most specific translation would mean step in him in a way you do with a bug, like if he were so small he could just step on him completely by walking into him)
I finally lost it stood up and said "DO it" while I walked straight at him and put myself in between both. "what?" "you heard me, do it" "I want to see you doing it because you cant. Its imposible that you would do such a thing because we both know he is not that small" I said it so confidently and so seriously, that even while it was obvius he was saying it as a joke, he felt very stupid. His friend backed him up and they said I was homo for my midget friend, I was commonly bullyied as if I was gay but I didnt care and kept talking to them until finally both felt so tiny I had the final word and they took off.
Later this guy started bothering me directly and pushed me back. I kicked him in the chest but I did so so softly(un purpose(I swear
) ) it was only as a warning, the thing is because I did it softly I did it slowly so he took my leg with his arm. I had and have very good balance on one leg due to tae kwon do so while he tried to make me fall I didnt and as I moved my leg he mistepped a kinda hole in the floor and he fell and everyone laughed at him.
"Hey! I didnt fell because of you!" he shouted "Of course you didnt, you fell on your own, thats worst you idiot!" I said and everyone laughed and I felt like a victor
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As idiotic as it may be, I felt proud of myself one time I turned down sex with an extremely hot chick (at least to me) because she had a boyfriend at the time. Maybe I wouldnt have turned her down if she wasnt my friend, but I simply couldnt help a friend on getting bad karma.
oh, by rejecting her, I was rejecting a threesome.
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The first time I made a clay figure I was really proud I myself. I cant really explain why, as I knew it would be kind of easy for me to be good at it and it wasnt like if it was extremely good, but just "good enough" for me... but its just there is something on doing clay that feels like I am doing something deeply spiritual and meaningful. Like if that moment was a sort of highlight. While Ive done other clay figures that may be rated as "better" or "muchbetter" what I loved about that one was that it was so simple. It was a man meditating. Kinda chinese looking with a sort of toga I guess, kinda muscular.
I felt like if finishing that clay was some kind of big thing, some kind of bg clousure. Now that I think of it, that may be because as a good gemini, I end up and never finish a lot of things. I didnt do that with that piece of clay. IT was little, simple, but "perfect" . Not perfect in the sense of it being literally perfect, but perfect in the sense that it felt perfect because I did it, it was all mine and it was done and it was good.
Hard to explain
I'll probably come back. Good thread for thought, I cant frubal you again today Sunst
