What does your religion say about anger and bitterness

[ryobi]

What does your religion say about anger and bitterness. Most of my problems are a result of anger and bitterness. I ask this question on every forum I visit, but
I've only recieved advice on one forum, but the advice was really helpful and I really appreciated it. It doesn't matter what religion you follow. I'm open to advice from any religion.

Thanks...

 

[Pegg]

What does your religion say about anger and bitterness. Most of my problems are a result of anger and bitterness. I ask this question on every forum I visit, but
I've only recieved advice on one forum, but the advice was really helpful and I really appreciated it. It doesn't matter what religion you follow. I'm open to advice from any religion.

Thanks...

Hi ryobi,

A fundamental teaching of Christianity is not to retaliate under provocation Read Matthew 5:39, 44,*45
Of course thats hard to do and we all get angry from time to time. Understanding the roots of anger is helpful in learning to control it. Is often the pressures of life that can make people feel angry. Ecclesiates 7:7 "For mere oppression may make a wise one act crazy,...'
Anger leads to hatred and then to outright violence. So anger is the beginning of trouble....it leads entire nations to war and tears families & friends apart. Anger is not our friend, it doesnt help us or make us better off in any way shape or form.

The advice from Jesus is that 'anything' which causes us to stumble, we should tear away from ourselves.
Matthew 5:29*If, now, that right eye of yours is making you stumble, tear it out and throw it away from you. For it is more beneficial to you for one of your members to be lost to you than for your whole body to be pitched into Ge·hen′na. 30*Also, if your right hand is making you stumble, cut it off and throw it away from you

So anger is definitely something that we need to avoid...it causes us too many problems. There are some bible principles that show us what we need to replace anger with

ie,

Romans 12:18*If possible, as far as it depends upon YOU, be peaceable with all men. 19*Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but yield place to the wrath; for it is written: “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says Jehovah.”



I found this article from one of our watchtowers which you may find interesting:'

Your Temper—A Caveman Instinct?
At the heart of many anger theories is belief in the theory of evolution. Some believe that anger is a holdover from our caveman ancestors, an uncontrollable instinct. Says Carol Tavris in her book Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion: “Darwin’s theories represent a crucial pivot point in Western thought: for once the belief that we can control anger—indeed, must control it—bowed to the belief that we cannot control it, it was then only a short jump to the current conviction that we should not control it.”
‘Express your anger,’ some thus advise. ‘Go ahead and blow off steam.’ But has such advice proved worth while? For one thing, evidence against the theory of evolution continues to mount. And Tavris and others challenge the ‘let it all out’ view of anger. “I notice that the people who are most prone to give vent to their rage get angrier, not less angry,” observes Tavris. “I observe a lot of hurt feelings among the recipients of rage.”
The book Behind Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family reports similarly on a study of over a thousand married couples. The authors discovered that letting out anger was far from calming. On the contrary, verbal aggression often led to physical aggression! The reason? Anger feeds on itself. Such research thus confirms what the Bible writer said centuries ago: “An enraged man stirs up contention, but one that is slow to anger quiets down quarreling.”—Proverbs 15:18; compare 29:22.

‘Be Wrathful, Yet Do Not Sin’
Anger is thus not some uncontrollable animal instinct. It can and must be controlled. Does this mean, though, that we can somehow be immune to provocation—devoid of feelings and emotions? No, for at Ephesians 4:26 the Bible acknowledges that at times we will rightfully feel angry: “Be wrathful, and yet do not sin.”
Notice, however, that the Bible condemns, not anger, but letting anger take control of one’s actions! “Anyone disposed to rage has many a transgression,” says Proverbs 29:22. So rather than nurturing rage, “get the mastery over it.” (Compare Genesis 4:7.) For example, imagine yourself in a situation that just makes your blood boil. How can you ‘keep calm to the last’? (Proverbs 29:11) You might first try the age-old advice to ‘count to ten’—or to whatever number it takes for you to settle down.
An article in*’Teen magazine further recommends: “Use up some of that anger energy by taking a long walk .*.*. You may want to do the activity you find most relaxing, whether that be listening to music, taking a hot bath or watching a movie.” Better yet, call on Jehovah God in prayer, asking for his help in remaining calm. “And the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers.” (Philippians 4:7) In addition, try reading the Bible or Bible-based publications, such as this journal and its companion The Watchtower.


‘Slowing Down Anger’
Proverbs 19:11 says: “The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger.” (Compare Proverbs 14:29.) Insight is the act or power of seeing into a situation, having all the facts of a matter before taking action. By exercising insight, you may find that there is little reason for you to take offense in the first place.
For example, imagine that your friends are late picking you up for a movie. You begin thinking about all the other times this has happened to you. The more you think, the more irritated you become! When they finally arrive, what will you do? Give them a piece of your mind—or find out what happened that made them so late? Likely there is a good reason. Having insight may thus prevent a temper explosion.
Insight could also include taking the time to weigh the consequences of angry retaliation. Consider a Bible account involving King David. When a man named Nabal snubbed David’s kindness, David impulsively planned retaliation—murder! Nabal’s wife, Abigail, however, implored David to consider the consequences of shedding innocent blood. David halted in his tracks. “Blessed be your sensibleness,” said David to Abigail, “and blessed be you who have restrained me this day from entering into bloodguilt.”—1*Samuel 25:2-33.
Considering the consequences of an angry outburst could similarly protect you from needlessly escalating a disagreement with someone in authority, such as a teacher or an employer. “If the spirit of a ruler should mount up against you, do not leave your own place, for calmness itself allays great sins,” said Solomon. (Ecclesiastes 10:4) And even where retaliation is aimed at a peer, remember that the Bible says: “Do not say: ‘Just as he did to me, so I am going to do to him.’”—Proverbs 24:29.
Another way to slow down anger is to watch what you feed your mind. Many television shows are violence packed. True, many think that TV and movie violence affects only those already inclined that way. One research team, however, claims that “all viewers tend to be affected.”—How to Live With—And Without—Anger, by Albert Ellis.
The Bible further counsels at Proverbs 22:24,*25: “Do not have companionship with anyone given to anger; and with a man having fits of rage you must not enter in, that you may not get familiar with his paths and certainly take a snare for your soul.” Do you enjoy the company of those “given to anger”? Then do not be surprised if you have trouble controlling your temper. The book How to Live With—And Without—Anger thus encourages finding “good models in your own life .*.*. people who feel determined to overcome life’s unniceties and who actively keep working at doing so. Talk to these people. Try to learn from them how they manage to keep reasonably cool in the face of life’s annoyances.”


Anger From Within
Simply calming oneself down, however, may not keep the anger at bay for long. Professor of psychology Richard Lazarus writes: “An emotion does not have to be aroused by something in the outside world. It can be created by a person’s thoughts.” For example, one young woman admits that her anger many times is due to dwelling on things that get her upset about a person. “My mind races with every detail, and I find myself getting angrier and angrier. Inside I become nervous and tense. It messes up my whole day. I feel depressed.”
Discussing an anger-producing event later with a friend can likewise have the effect of making rage rise up again. At times the best thing to do is get to the very source of the irritation and try to correct matters. Has someone offended you? If you cannot simply forget the matter, approach that person and try to straighten out the matter. (Compare Matthew 5:23-26.) Often it turns out that a simple misunderstanding has occurred.
Provocations may abound. Yet, with insight you can keep such matters in perspective. You can learn to turn destructive feelings into productive actions. Yes, you can control your temper!

 

[1137]

Anger is a fantastic and misunderstood emotion. Anger can cause introspection, change, purpose, etc. However it can also go into rage, hatred, and the other emotion you mentioned which is bitterness. I see anger as healthy when taken in a healthy way, used to improve yourself or the world around you. It's just a matter of learning how to control your anger and use it to your advantage. This is done the same way all other self control and manipulation is done, and it's different for everyone. You have to play around. Symbols help people, ideas, meditation, distraction, ritual, you just have to keep up the trial and error until you are master of your emotions and not the other way around.

 

[Monotheist 101]

1. “And when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with ‘Salamaa’ (peaceful words of gentleness).” (Qur’an, 25:63)
2. “If they pass by some vain speech or play, they pass by it with dignity.” (Qur’an, 25:72)
3. “And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys… But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book.” (Qur’an, 31:19-20)
4. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “He who gave up disputing while he is right, a palace of high rank in Paradise will be built for him. He who gave up disputing while he is a fabricator, a palace in the center of Paradise will be built for him.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it as hasan)
5. “There are no people who went astray after having been guided except for indulging in disputation.” (al-Tirmidhi)
6. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ repeated three times, “Those who search deeply for confusing questions have perished.” (Muslim)
7. “Do not dispute with your brother, ridicule him, nor promise him and then break your promise.” (al-Tirmidhi)
8. Bilal ibn Sa’d radiAllahu `anhu (ra) said, “If you see a disputing, arrogant, and bigoted person, bear in mind that they are utterly lost.”
9. Luqman `alayhi assalam (as) said to his son, “O son! Do not dispute with the knowledgeable lest they detest you.”
10. `Umar (ra) said, “Do not learn knowledge for three things and do not leave it for three things. Do not learn it to dispute over it, to show off with it, or to boast about it. Do not leave seeking it out of shyness, dislike for it, or contending with ignorance in its stead.”
11. It was narrated that Abu Hanifa said to Dawud al-Taa’i, “Why do you prefer seclusion?” Dawud replied, “To struggle against myself to leave disputing.” Abu Hanifah said, “Attend meetings, listen to what is said, and remain silent.” Dawud said, “I have done so, but I have found nothing heavier than this.”
12. `A’ishah (ra) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “The most hated person with Allah is the most quarrelsome person.” (al-Bukhari)
13. Ibn Qutaybah said that his disputant said to him, “What is the matter with you?” He replied to him, “I will not dispute with you.” The disputant then said, “Thus you have come to know that I am right.” Ibn Qutaybah responded, “No, but I respect myself more than that.” At this the disputant retracted and said, “And I will not claim a thing that is not my right.”
14. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “The one initiating abuse incurs the sin of abusing as long as the other did not return it.” (Muslim)
15. “The believer does not curse.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it hasan)
16. “The believer does not defame, abuse, disparage, nor vilify.” (al-Tirmidhi, sahih)
17. “Do not invoke Allah’s curse, His anger, or Hellfire.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it hasan sahih)
18. “Men accustomed to cursing will not be intercessors or witnesses on the Day of Resurrection.” (Muslim)
19. Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (ra) narrated, “I asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about what saves me from Allah’s wrath, and he said, “Do not become angry.” (al-Tabarani and Ibn Abdul Barr) Ibn `Umar, Ibn Mas’ud, and Abu Darda’ (ra) relate similar conversations on their own behalf.
20. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “He who is victorious over his passion at the time of anger is the strongest among you. He who forgives having the power to release (his anger and take revenge) is the most patient among you.” (a-Baihaqi in Shu’ab al-Imaan)
21. Abu Hurairah (ra) narrated, “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘The strong person is not he who has physical strength but the person is strong if he can control his anger.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
22. `Umar ibn Abdul Aziz wrote to one of his governors and said, “Do not punish at the time of anger. If you are angry with any man, keep him in detention. When your anger is appeased punish him in proportion to his crime.”
23. ‘Ali ibn Zaid mentioned, “A man of the Quraysh spoke harshly to the Caliph `Umar Ibn ‘Abdul ‘Aziz who remained silent for a long time and then said, “You wish that the devil rouses in me the pride of the Caliphate and I treat you so rudely that you can take revenge tomorrow (in the Afterlife) on me.”
24. Ibn ‘Abbas (ra) narrated, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “And when you get angry, keep silent.” (Ahmad, Ibn Abi Dunya, al-Tabarani, and al-Bayhaqi)
25. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Anger is a burning coal. It burns in the heart.” (al-Tirmidhi and al-Bayhaqi)
26. “When anyone of you gets angry, let him perform ablution because anger arises from fire.” (Abu Dawud)
27. “Nobody swallows a more bitter pill than that of anger—seeking the satisfaction of Allah.” (Ibn Majah)
28. `Umar (ra) said, “He who fears Allah cannot give an outlet to his anger (by sinning). He who fears Allah cannot do what he likes.”
29. A nomad said to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ “Advise me.” And he ﷺ said, “If a man defamed you with what he knows about you, do not defame him with what you know about him. For the sin is against him.” The nomad said, “I never abused any person after that.”
30. Al-Hasan (ra) said, “He that did not safeguard his tongue did not understand his religion.”


30 Reasons to Avoid Being Angry and Argumentative

 

[Monotheist 101]

1. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Kind speech and feeding (the hungry) guarantee you Paradise.” (al-Tabarani)
2. “And speak nicely to people.” (Qur’an, 2:83)
3. “When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally.” (Qur’an, 4:86) Ibn Abbas commented on this and said, “He who greets you return his greeting in better words even if he were a Magian.1 He also said, “If Pharoah were to speak nicely to me, I would do so to him.”
4. Anas (ra) narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Verily there are chambers in Paradise; their insides and outsides can be seen – for him who spoke kindly and fed (the hungry).” (al-Tirmidhi)
5. He ﷺ also said, “A good word is also a charitable deed.” (Muslim)
6. “Ward off the Fire even if by giving half a date in charity. If you could not afford that then utter a kind word.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
7. `Umar (ra) said, “Generosity is an easy thing. It is a smiling face and kind words.”
8. Some wise men said, “Do not be stingy with a word that does not arouse your Lord’s wrath yet it pleases your brother. It may happen that Allah gives you the reward of those who do good works.”
9. “And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give to their kinsmen, the poor, and those who left their homes for Allah’s cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not wish that Allah should forgive you?” (Qur’an, 24:22). Abu Bakr (ra) had cut off his financial support of his relative Mustah because Mustah had participated in the slander against his daughter `A’ishah (ra). After this verse was revealed, he resumed and even increased the amount he gave Mustah in financial support.
10. “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish.” (Qur’an, 7:199)


30 Reasons to Avoid Being Angry and Argumentative

 

[ryobi]

Thanks Everyone!

 

[Sunstone]

What does your religion say about anger and bitterness. Most of my problems are a result of anger and bitterness. I ask this question on every forum I visit, but
I've only recieved advice on one forum, but the advice was really helpful and I really appreciated it. It doesn't matter what religion you follow. I'm open to advice from any religion.

Thanks...

I tend to go with the Buddhist perspective on this one that holding onto anger is like holding hot coals in your hands -- you're the one who gets burnt the most. Better to let it go.

 

[Quintessence]

Embracing and accepting that you feel what you feel and knowing you have every right to feel what you feel can be a wise step to take. Denial serves little use.

Know the source from which your passions stem; both intense amor and rage stem from passion. Know the source and capitalize upon passions. Do not allow the power of your passion to be snuffed out by others. The power is there to be used. Be wise in its use, as our culture is rather intolerant of certain manifestations of passion. Know the risks you're willing to take, the consequences you're willing to face, and unleash them as you feel is proper.

 

[Galen.Iksnudnard]

The Bible basically differentiates two kinds of anger:

One is anger over an injustice being done, and the other is selfish anger. For example Jesus got upset at the people who were ripping others off in the Temple. Note that this kind of anger isn't about yourself, it's about standing up for other people when you see something going wrong.

On the other hand anger can become sinful when it is motivated by pride (James 1:20), or when we instead of turning the other cheek decide to get angry at personal slights. One obvious sign that anger has turned to sin is when, instead of attacking the problem at hand, we attack the wrongdoer.

Basically there is nothing wrong with anger, so long as it is directed properly.