Vital Question

[Emi]

Notice how it says in the article:

"Kish, who’s been dubbed a “real-life Batman,”is able to perform these tasks because of his uncanny ability to “see” by echolocation."

Notice how the word see is in quotes? That implies that it is not actual sight. It is just a label to give us an idea what the article is talking about. Notice how the term real-life Batman is also in quotes in that article? That's also because it is not real. It too is just a metaphor.

That's only one article. I can give further sources if you require.

 

[The Transcended Omniverse]

That's only one article. I can give further sources if you require.

When a person loses his/her eyes, for example, the only reason he/she can see colors and whatnot would be because the function of his/her brain responsible for his/her mental experience of sight is still active. It is not turned off. But if that function were to be completely turned off, then no other function in our brains can give us sight. So in that same sense, once our reward system turns off due to anhedonia and depression, then we cannot have any love, joy, happiness, inspiration, or good meaning in our lives. There is only one function that gives us sight, only one function that gives us hearing, only one function that gives us smell, etc. So in that same sense, only one function of our brains gives us love, joy, happiness, inspiration, and good meaning. That function is our reward system which is the function that gives us our mental experience of our good moods.

 

[DawudTalut]

Peace be on you...See how many sympathetic people are trying their best for you. Are you still depressed?
1-Please take a very long morning walk for few days, and see if things improve?
2- Useful resources: http://www.britishhomeopathic.org/bha-charity/how-we-can-help/medicine-a-z/oxygen-and-ozonum/

 

[DawudTalut]

Peace be on you...See how many sympathetic people are trying their best for you. Are you still depressed?
1-Please take a very long morning walk for few days, and see if things improve?
2- Useful resources: http://www.britishhomeopathic.org/bha-charity/how-we-can-help/medicine-a-z/oxygen-and-ozonum/

 

[Curious George]

I struggle with depression and I have this philosophical question that I need an answer for. Actually, it might even be a scientific question.

Now I need to know the answer to this very vital question. I am thinking that there is only one way love, joy, happiness, and inspiration can be experienced. That being, through our reward system (our good moods). The more our reward system is functional and healthy, the more of those things we will have in our lives since our good moods would be greater. But like I said before, there is the difference between words and phrases and our mental states.

So by depressed people focusing on words and phrases alone of love, joy, happiness, and inspiration, they are only fooling themselves into thinking they are in love, joyful, happy, and inspired while depressed when they never were since depression as well as anhedonia are what turn off our reward system (our good moods). Even if they focused on the mental state of their thinking while depressed and told themselves that this is a form of love, joy, happiness, and inspiration, then they would be fooling themselves here as well since they are not in the actual mental state of having those things.

So they would be fooling themselves through this whole world of personally creating our own meanings in life and personally defining them for ourselves which would have to be false since there is only one way to experience those said things I've mentioned. There is only one way to experience the mental state of visualizing objects (sight) and perceiving sound (hearing). If you were to become blind and deaf, then your thoughts alone cannot give you that mental state.

If a blind and deaf person thought to his/herself that he/she still has sight and hearing, then that would not give him/her sight and hearing. That would only give him/her nothing more than the labels (words and phrases) of sight and hearing.

So there is only one function that gives us our mental states of visualizing objects and perceiving sound just as how there is also only one way to experience touch, smell, taste, etc. So in that same sense, there is also only one way to have good meaning, love, joy, happiness, and inspiration. There is only one function of our brains that can give us that. There is only one mental state that can give us those things. That being, the mental state of our good moods as I've said before.

If you are going to say something to me such as that we can have good meaning, love, joy, happiness, and inspiration through our way of thinking alone even while depressed and not in a good mood, then you have to prove to me how this is the actual mental state of having those things and not just the words and phrases of those things.

My question is, is my theory right or wrong? If it is wrong, then you are going to have to prove it wrong. You cannot just say that we can have those things in our lives while depressed. You have to do what the last paragraph above says. You have to prove to me how that is the actual mental state of perceiving those things.

In case I ever have to live my life depressed, then it is vital I find the answer. I am thinking that having good meaning in one's life is not just simply from knowing things. It is being in the mental state of love, joy, happiness, and inspiration in doing those things. For example, if you were not in any mental state of love, joy, happiness, or inspiration at all and were in a completely blank hopeless state and you just knew to yourself deep down that you have to go and save your family's life since they have good meaning to you, then they would not have any good meaning to you at all. You are telling yourself nothing more than just words and phrases of good meaning. The only way you can actually perceive them as having good meaning to you would be if you were in an inspired, happy, loving, and joyful mental state in saving their lives.

So, in short, since you were not in a good mood while saving their lives, then your family would actually have no good meaning to you in that given moment when you were depressed and in a blank mental state. For you to live your life just through knowing things while depressed and just thinking that has good meaning to you, that is living your life as an utterly inferior dead lifeless biological machine. It is our good moods that make us and our lives something. It is only our good moods that can give good meaning to our lives from our friends, family, and our goals/dreams. Therefore, even all the famous genius artists and composers who struggled with depression were nothing great. They and their lives were nothing great. Their works of art cannot mean anything to them during their depression and nor can the idea that they helped/inspired others all around the world and made their lives good. Nor can their own works of art mean anything good to them either.

I think you are correct in your analysis but wrong in you premise. Hidden amongst this is a premise that meaning must come from these sensations or feelings that you describe. While you may only know "words and phrases" or muted imitations of previous experiences, you can still derive meaning as meaning is not contingent on these feelings. Though I certainly acknowledge that motivation without these feelings becomes troublesome, meaning could theoretically be found in internal consistency. The question then becomes, why strive for internal consistency if achieving it gives no pleasure. However, while pursuit of good feeling is motivation, so is avoidance of bad feelings.

Avoidance of cognitive dissonance or other cognitive functions which cause stress could serve as motivation.

And while you may not experience the listed feelings, there might be other feelings for which you can strive. Are there other feelings which you find yourself pursuing to any degree?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I am thinking that there is only one way love, joy, happiness, and inspiration can be experienced. That being, through our reward system (our good moods).

There are more than one way to experience such things. If you focus on such things as you do in your statement, then when it's followed through then no one experiences true emotion, either positive or negative. Being depressed doesn't mean you can't really experience things like joy, love, and inspiration, however it does make motivating yourself to seek them out a challenge. Sometimes it's a sign that you need to make fundamental changes in your life, sometimes it is a genetic predisposition and chemical imbalances in the brain, but it doesn't make it impossible to seek and find pleasure. There is also frequently self-defeating behaviors and thought patterns, and though it can be very difficult to overcome them, to say you can't experience positive emotions is itself would be a symptom of depression, and a way of thinking that has to be overcome if you ever expect to overcome depression.

In case I ever have to live my life depressed, then it is vital I find the answer.

If you haven't experienced depression on a clinical level, it's hard to imagine the struggles. There is no one clear or universal answer, as different things trigger different sources of depression in different people. People with bi-polar disorder, for example, experience what they often describe as roller coaster of emotions, and it usually requires therapy (to help learn techniques to manage depression and identifying and overcoming negative ways of thinking) and various activities (such as hobbies or exercise) and mood stabilizing drugs to improve the depressive moods (the drugs also do away with the manic episodes, which are often missed, but potentially equally destructive). Sometimes people become clinically depressed over difficult and bad life situations, but with strength, determination, and a good support system things can improve. But regardless of the cause, it takes the individual suffering from depression to take the first steps in wanting to help themselves, and without this motivation it's very possible to be completely overcome and drown in thoughts that perpetuate and worsen depression.

 

[The Transcended Omniverse]

Honestly, I never saw the greatness and good value/worth having depression and an absence of good moods in one's life. Our good moods take on the form of the very personality of things/people we witness. For example, if you noticed a heavenly goddess like character in an anime/videogame, then if you were to experience a good mood from her, then it would not just simply be a good mood. It would be a good mood that has her tonality (personality) to it. So you would actually be experiencing her personality through your good moods. It would be as if you are sensing her life (spirit) energy.

Same thing applies if you were to experience a good mood from a villan. Once your perceptions of this villan through your thinking alone sends the pleasure signal to your reward system and gives you the experience of a good mood, then your good mood would have an awesome, evil, hardcore, dark, gothic, heavy, serious, epic tone to it. It would be like you are experiencing the spirit energy of that villan. It would be as if you are experiencing the life essence of that villan in a good way.

Therefore, our bad moods aren't the only things that have the heavy, dark, gothic, serious tone to them to create works of art. We can create such dark, gothic, and tragic works of art through our good moods alone and they can turn out to be just as good and even better than how we created them while down and depressed or in any other bad mood.

So you can see why my good moods are so vital and life depending for me. They are more important to me than the air I breathe. They are the only things that can make me "alive" since they are the only things that can allow me to experience and be a part of the goodness ("life") of this universe, the world of anime/videogames, and my composing dream.

If I become hopeless (depressed), then all that life energy is gone. Me and my life are reduced to nothing more than a dead, lifeless, hopeless state similar to that of a hopeless zombie and a biological machine. I don't care if my depression made me the world's next greatest composing or intelligent genius. My life can still have no "life" (good meaning).

Life without "life" is not life at all. Our good moods are a sacred divine transcending energy and are the only things that give good meaning to our lives. But our depression is the opposite. It cripples and destroys our very being, destroys all good meaning in our lives, and gives our lives nothing but bad meaning regardless of what you think and tell yourself otherwise while depressed.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

We can create such dark, gothic, and tragic works of art through our good moods alone and they can turn out to be just as good and even better than how we created them while down and depressed or in any other bad mood.

That isn't necessarily true. When Chuck Palahniuk wrote Lullaby (one of his best novels IMO), it was a way to help him cope with the murder of his father and dealing with his situation of holding the perpetrator's life, the power of life and death, in his own hands. Some authors, such as Edgar Allen Poe and H.P. Lovecraft struggled with depression throughout their entire lives. For many, art is an outlet and an escape from depression and other negative thoughts, a means of expressing it,

So you can see why my good moods are so vital and life depending for me. They are more important to me than the air I breathe. They are the only things that can make me "alive" since they are the only things that can allow me to experience and be a part of the goodness ("life") of this universe, the world of anime/videogames, and my composing dream.

I wouldn't put such an emphasis on it. It's very normal for anyone to sometimes feel down and depressed. Everyone feels anxious at times. Why not embrace the fullness of our experiences? Absence from a lover makes their smile warmer and their touch more soothing. Loss makes us realize and appreciate what we have. Doing things we don't like makes us more eagerly anticipate doing the things we enjoy. On the most fundamental level, without death there cannot be life.

 

[The Transcended Omniverse]

That isn't necessarily true. When Chuck Palahniuk wrote Lullaby (one of his best novels IMO), it was a way to help him cope with the murder of his father and dealing with his situation of holding the perpetrator's life, the power of life and death, in his own hands. Some authors, such as Edgar Allen Poe and H.P. Lovecraft struggled with depression throughout their entire lives. For many, art is an outlet and an escape from depression and other negative thoughts, a means of expressing it,

But you have to consider that depression impairs our mental abilities. Scans compare a depressed brain to a healthy brain. The depressed brain has much less function. Depression only impairs our creative and mental abilities. If a depressed person is a better artist than a happy healthy person, then it would of only of been because of other factors instead. Not because of the depression alone in of itself which does nothing but cripples and impairs us. Depression slows us down. It shuts us down. But our good moods are the opposite. They speed us up. They transcend us and our lives into something greater. So that same depressed artist could of been better if he/she had his/her good moods to speed up (enhance) his/her creative abilities. Take, for example, people who get intense manic pleasure highs. They are far more inspired and their creative abilities are far more enhanced than they were depressed.

I wouldn't put such an emphasis on it. It's very normal for anyone to sometimes feel down and depressed. Everyone feels anxious at times. Why not embrace the fullness of our experiences? Absence from a lover makes their smile warmer and their touch more soothing. Loss makes us realize and appreciate what we have. Doing things we don't like makes us more eagerly anticipate doing the things we enjoy. On the most fundamental level, without death there cannot be life.

First off, if I never struggled with depression, then I would of been far more happier today than if I struggled with depression. Having depression over a long course of time can really give our lives a negative perception and a more dysfunctional/unhealthy reward system. That can take a pretty long time to recover from. So no. Death only gives us death and life only gives us life. At least in my case anyway. And just so you know, me living with depression and not having my good moods is far more serious than you are making it out to be. My good moods are so very vital and life dependent for me that I would be driven to a psychotic rage and would have to be locked up in a psyche ward if I had to live most or my entire life depressed.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

But our good moods are the opposite. They speed us up. They transcend us and our lives into something greater.

That isn't necessarily a good thing. For someone with bipolar, the manic episodes, which are emotional highs, comes with a risk of self-destructive behavior and it can put someone in a bad situation just as easily as the depressive episodes.

First off, if I never struggled with depression, then I would of been far more happier today than if I struggled with depression.

Not necessarily. If you dwell upon the past, then yes, but many people do reach a point where they overcome their depression and focus on the now, rather than dwell on the past.

Death only gives us death and life only gives us life.

Life feeds on life. For life to continue, there must be death. Even vegetarians and herbivores require the death of life to sustain themselves, and those plants require death for nourishment from decomposition, and in turn those plants are eaten by creatures who are eaten. Without death, there would be no sustenance for life, and over crowding would make life miserable for all.

 

[The Transcended Omniverse]

Well, let me just say here that for me personally, depression has no good meaning to me whatsoever and nor would it ever. I would be locked up due to a psychotic rage if I had to live most or my entire life with it and without my good moods as I've said before. For some people who struggle with depression, depression has good meaning to them and gets them really focused into their artistic dreams and creating works of art.

For me it is the exact opposite. My good moods are the one and only things that inspire me, get me really into my composing dream, and are what inspire me to create greater and greater compositions. Depression only makes everything seem completely "dead" (meaningless) to me. I feel that I am no part of the inspiration, greatness, joy, "life", etc. of my composing dream and the world of anime/videogames I wish to compose for. Depression only takes my focus away and destroys/cripples my life and goals/dreams.

As for manic people being destructive, I am never like that anyway. If I had my good moods right now and experienced intense good moods from my composing which would give me the inspiration to compose, that would not be anything destructive at all. It would be completely productive. I also realize that depression does give us more empathy and understanding of the suffering of others. But that cannot give my life any good meaning either. Only my good moods give my life and composing dream good meaning.

I don't need death, I don't need pain, I don't need suffering, and I don't need depression. They give my life no good meaning at all. Only me living an eternal blissful life of no more suffering can be the only greatest life for me. So that is why I don't like being an atheist either and would rather have the belief in the eternal blissful afterlife just to give myself hope even if that said life does not exist.

So that is why we need to find a way to create an eternal blissful life through science in the future and resurrect people such as me who have missed out on life so that we can live this eternal blissful life. That would be my famous message to the world if I ever became a famous composer someday. There are so many suffering people who die and commit suicide. That is it for them. We all might be able to live such a blissful life in the future. But everyone else in the past such as me have missed out on the one and only greatest life there is. So that is why it is also vital to find a way to resurrect people such as me as well.

 

[Emi]

When a person loses his/her eyes, for example, the only reason he/she can see colors and whatnot would be because the function of his/her brain responsible for his/her mental experience of sight is still active. It is not turned off. But if that function were to be completely turned off, then no other function in our brains can give us sight. So in that same sense, once our reward system turns off due to anhedonia and depression, then we cannot have any love, joy, happiness, inspiration, or good meaning in our lives. There is only one function that gives us sight, only one function that gives us hearing, only one function that gives us smell, etc. So in that same sense, only one function of our brains gives us love, joy, happiness, inspiration, and good meaning. That function is our reward system which is the function that gives us our mental experience of our good moods.

Our views on sight are different, meaning you nor I will not agree on what sight implies. For you, you may consider there to be only one way to see, while I will keep my mind open and see many more.

However, many different chemicals will give us happiness and love. They are not the same chemicals by any means. In fact, the satisfied feeling you get when you are near someone close to you is entirely different than the feeling of happiness. There is no one chemical in the brain released for all of these sensations. Depression limits the release neurotransmitters,endorphins and endocannabinoids. This is why those suffering from depression are encouraged to exercise, due to the heavy release of endorphins which boost your mood.
There is no chemical that encompasses for all types of happiness. There are many and it's easy to research them all. Therefore I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say.

 

[The Transcended Omniverse]

Our views on sight are different, meaning you nor I will not agree on what sight implies. For you, you may consider there to be only one way to see, while I will keep my mind open and see many more.

However, many different chemicals will give us happiness and love. They are not the same chemicals by any means. In fact, the satisfied feeling you get when you are near someone close to you is entirely different than the feeling of happiness. There is no one chemical in the brain released for all of these sensations. Depression limits the release neurotransmitters,endorphins and endocannabinoids. This is why those suffering from depression are encouraged to exercise, due to the heavy release of endorphins which boost your mood.
There is no chemical that encompasses for all types of happiness. There are many and it's easy to research them all. Therefore I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say.

Yes, you are right. Many chemicals do give us happiness and love. But it is all restricted to only one function of our brain. That being, our reward system. As long as the reward system is turned off due to depression and anhedonia, then those same chemicals cannot give you any love, joy, happiness, or inspiration through our thoughts or through our other brain functions either. They will stimulate our thoughts and other brain functions. But that will not yield us the experience of any love, joy, happiness, or inspiration.

We have the main functions and we have the sub functions of our brains. All our thoughts are the same experience in the sense that they are all thoughts. So this would be the "thinking" main experience. But all our thoughts are different experiences in the sense that they are different thoughts. So they are all different sub functions of our thinking main function. I could also apply this to our love, joy, happiness, and inspiration as well.

Our good moods are the only things that give us love, joy, happiness, and inspiration. So they are all the same experience in the sense that they all feel pleasant. But they are all different experiences in the sense that they are all different feelings of pleasure. But once a main function is turned off, you cannot have that main function through any other main function of our brains and nor can you have one of the sub functions from one main function in another main function.

 

[Emi]

Yes, you are right. Many chemicals do give us happiness and love. But it is all restricted to only one function of our brain. That being, our reward system. As long as the reward system is turned off due to depression and anhedonia, then those same chemicals cannot give you any love, joy, happiness, or inspiration through our thoughts or through our other brain functions either. They will stimulate our thoughts and other brain functions. But that will not yield us the experience of any love, joy, happiness, or inspiration.

We have the main functions and we have the sub functions of our brains. All our thoughts are the same experience in the sense that they are all thoughts. So this would be the "thinking" main experience. But all our thoughts are different experiences in the sense that they are different thoughts. So they are all different sub functions of our thinking main function. I could also apply this to our love, joy, happiness, and inspiration as well.

Our good moods are the only things that give us love, joy, happiness, and inspiration. So they are all the same experience in the sense that they all feel pleasant. But they are all different experiences in the sense that they are all different feelings of pleasure. But once a main function is turned off, you cannot have that main function through any other main function of our brains and nor can you have one of the sub functions from one main function in another main function.

Okay, I'm just making sure you are aware of that. actually, they can still give you all those feelings of happiness with depression. The problem is the receptors are blocked off so although they may be released into the body, it isn't generally registered as a good mood. However, there are plenty of natural treatments that do counteract this, which is why exercise is recommended.

For myself in particular, weirdly enough, meditation and eating healthy helped a lot. While in my worst state I took many pills to help me, but eventually weaned off of them. after that, knowing that it is still a disorder I will have throughout my life, I began to adopt a lifestyle to counteract that. It really does help. Mood swings still happen, but I handle it much better. I also have supports which allow us to help each other and not remain alone.
I also suffer from anxiety, so meditation has helped me amazingly with that too.

 

[The Transcended Omniverse]

I am going to add something else here as well. I think it is quite asinine to say that depression gives good meaning to one's life and makes them a better artist and enhances their mental function/creativity when scans of depressed brains vs normal happy brains show otherwise. It is no different than saying that being mauled by a lion gives good meaning to your life and that it makes you a better artist and enhances your mental function and your intelligence/creativity. Yes, depression can really be that bad. It can be like a lion mauling them and severely crippling them.

 

[Shadow of Liberty]

 

[DawudTalut]

I am going to add something else here as well. I think it is quite asinine to say that depression gives good meaning to one's life and makes them a better artist and enhances their mental function/creativity when scans of depressed brains vs normal happy brains show otherwise. It is no different than saying that being mauled by a lion gives good meaning to your life and that it makes you a better artist and enhances your mental function and your intelligence/creativity. Yes, depression can really be that bad. It can be like a lion mauling them and severely crippling them.

Peace be on you.....Just asking (but then this asking will not be philosophy quest'ns). If you do not like to answer, please do not.
Q-How long have you been in this depression.
Q-Do you take anti-depressant medicine?

 

[The Transcended Omniverse]

Since I watch anime (Japanese cartoons) and play videogames, then I can give an anime/videogame analogue. There are characters that channel energy and transcend into higher beings. When they are in this transcended state, they have yellow hair and yellow energy around them. This is the most awesome state they can be in because when they are in this state, they experience the very power and profoundness of this universe like never before. They can sense all the life energy and awesomness of this universe like never before. They are full of "life" and feel all the spirit (life) energy coursing through them and they feel transcended by it.

They are called Super Saiyans from the anime Dragonball Z. They have enhanced powers and ablilites. So that is what my good moods are like to me. When I am in a heightened good mood, it is like I am a transcended Super Saiyan and I can experience all the life energy of my composing dream, compositions, and this universe. I am transcended by that. This sense of transcendence would encourage me more and more to create more and more compositions and to experience more and more of this life energy (transcendence) from them.

It would be like feeding a Super Saiyan more and more power which would transcend him higher and higher. If anyone or anything were to interfere with this Super Saiyan's power feast, he will become psychotically enraged. If you were to interfere with this Super Saiyan's personal growth and transcendence, then you will surely get killed. Not saying that I would kill anybody. But you get my point here.

This Super Saiyan wants to experience more and more of this life energy. Not because he is trying to be better than anyone else or for any other type of misdeed. But because he just wants to live. He wants to be very "human" and "alive." He wishes to experience the very life of this universe as deeply, intensely, and profoundly as possible. This is his personal growth and the way he finds the greatest good meaning in his life. He wishes to ascend to an ultimate state in which he has the greatest power of the universe he can possibly have coursing through him.

Many people would ask me why can't I just find good meaning being a composer while depressed? Why do I need to experience my good moods at all? These people would then say from there that this just makes no sense. First off, you do not realize just how bad depression is. Second, even though my reason for living and being a composer and my way of finding good meaning through my good moods might very well not be rational (logical), you have to realize here that human beings are hardwired for survival. Not entirely for rational purposes.

Many animals find their only incentive in life through their good moods (reward system). When a pleasure signal gets sent to the animal's reward system, it gives this animal the incentive to do more and more things to get more and more of this rewarding sense. We see this with animals in a lab. As a matter of fact, you can read up on the Nucleus Accumbens of the brain and you will come across this information I just told you.

But we as human beings have also evolved a newer brain region which is known as the prefrontal cortex. It is the thinking (rational) area of the brain. However, this area of our brains does not encourage us. It does not motivate, inspire, give us excitement, joy, love, etc. It only makes decisions and solves problems. The only experience this area of our brains gives us is the "thinking" experience which is all nothing more than the experience of just thoughts (words and phrases).

Since the Nucleus Accumbens is what encourages us while the prefrontal cortex doesn't, then it would only make sense to say that the Nuclues Accumbens gives our lives actual good meaning while the prefrontal cortex only gives us nothing more than the words and phrases of good meaning to our lives. As long as you struggle with depression in which the Nuclues Accumbens cannot give you the experience of any good moods, then you cannot have any actual good meaning, love, joy, happiness, or inspiration in your life as long as you are in a depressed mood.

For me personally, I have never experienced any actual good meaning, encouragement, love, joy, happiness, or inspiration in my life through the thinking area of my brain alone while I struggled with depression. It was all nothing more than just the words and phrases of those things to me and not the actual experience of those said things. Everything was still "dead" to me while I was depressed.

It didn't matter if I pursued my goals and dreams or even if I somehow changed the world, it was all still "dead" (meaningless) to me. But if I had my good moods back to me, then a profound thought would send the pleasure signal to my brain and give me a profound good mood. But the profound thought in of itself without my good moods is not a profound experience for me at all. It is nothing more than just a thought. It is nothing more than a mere message being spoken in my mind.

So what's so great about this thinking area of our brains anyway? Everyone says it's what's new in town and that this is supposed to be the area of our brains that only the truly great people and geniuses live by. They say it is what truly makes our lives great. But I don't see any of that there. Sure, it solves problems, makes decisions/choices, keeps us and others alive, and prevents foolish acts/harm to us and others. But these are nothing more than things to keep us and others alive so that we can all experience what is truly important which would be our love, joy, happiness, inspiration, and encouragement (our good moods).

Yes, the thinking area of our brains also makes the world a better place and makes some people intelligent masterminds. But none of that in of itself is important either. What is important here is that this genius intelligence is used to get love, joy, happiness, inspiration, and encouragment (our good moods) from it. So really, it is the Nucleus Accumbens of our brains that we live for. So going back to my Super Saiyan analogue, as long as I struggled with depression and I told myself that I still have good meaning, love, joy, happiness, and inspiration in my life, then it would be like telling and thinking to myself that I am still a Super Saiyan when, really, I am sapped of all my life energy and am beaten down to the floor.

I am no longer able to experience any of that transcending life energy from living things and this universe anymore. Everything is completely "dead" (meaningless) to me now. I could never accept and compose living my life like that. My thoughts alone do not allow me to experience the life energy of living things, this life, music, art, and from my composing dream/compositions. Only my good moods allow me to experience this sacred divine transcending life force. Therefore, if I were given a senzu bean (antidepressant medication) that would help me recover from depression and be back in a good mood again, I would feel all that life energy coursing through me once again. This is how I experience the life energy of this universe. No one and nothing takes that away from me!

As a side note, in case you do not know what a senzu bean is in the anime Dragonball Z, it is what a character takes when he/she is beaten down and has lost his/her energy. It revives his/her wounds and restores his/her energy. Now you might be thinking it is nonsense and asinine for me to rely on a function of my brain (the Nucleus Accumbens) to give good meaning to my life. But speak for yourself. You are also relying on a brain region as well to give good meaning to your life. You are relying on the thinking area of your brain to give good meaning to your life. You value intelligence and the seeking of the truth over your good moods.

But imagine if I took all your intelligence and thinking away from you. It would be the worst thing for you. Therefore, for me to lose my good moods would also be the worst thing for me as well. Depression is far worse than anhedonia. So for me to be in a depressed state would be far worse than just simply me being in an anhedonic state. Now even though the thinking area of our brains is the new and evolved brain region and that the Nucleus Accumbens is the ancient brain region, sometimes in life it is the old things that are far better than the new things.

For example, you could have an ancient divine sacred buried power or an ancient sacred treasure. I realize that the Nuclues Accumbens is not the rational part of the brain. So even though living for my good moods might not be rational at all and might not be a rational way of living life and finding good meaning in one's life, I don't care whether it is rational or not. This biological sense of reward gives me the most profound and awesome experience in life. At first glance, this might seem silly to you. It might be silly to think that this rewarding sense is the only thing that can give good meaning to my life and you think that there are far more greater things in this life to live for.

But what you are doing here is nothing more than looking at the idea of things and not the actual experience of things. I could say that an innocent person is nothing more than just a bunch of chemicals and atoms and that, for this very reason, it would be silly of you to think that this person brings you the greatest good meaning in your life. You might actually agree with me at first. But upon you meeting this person, then your experience with this person and from living with him/her would be the most profound experience for you.

It would then be mocking/insulting of me to say to you that it is just plain silly for you to think that he/she brings you the greatest good meaning in your life since he/she is nothing more than mere atoms, chemicals, and processes. So in that same sense, my good moods are also very profound experiences to me as well and they are the one and only things that can bring good meaning to me from my life, family, and composing. Our good moods can come in the form of very profound experiences. You can experience profound joy, love, happiness, and inspiration from this biological sense of reward.

After all, it is the very function of our brains meant to encourage our survival. It encourages us to pursue things in life that we perceive as survival promoting. I use my good moods to channel my energy in coming up with great compositions in my mind. But without my good moods, then I have no inspiration and can't channel all that much energy into creating great compositions. My compositions would come out mediocre.

When I come up with compositions, it is not just some mere thinking process. It is not just me sitting there just analyzing and thinking of types of instruments, chords, and notes to use. It is a profound meditative experience and not just some biological mechanical intellecual process. I profoundly meditate my good moods and channel that energy into creating my compositions in my mind.

They are indeed very profound and reflect the profound greatness of my good moods. But if I just did things intellectually, then they would reflect that blandness. My compositions would just be bland and mediocre. So that is why my message to the world if I ever became a famous composer someday would be that our good moods are what transcend us, our lives, and our talents to something truly great and they enhance our creativity like neverbefore.

It would be like I am a transcended Super Saiyan channeling my enhanced life force (psychic energy) into creating epic masterpieces. My Super Saiyan form was never meant to do battles. I was never meant to be that beaten down Saiyan warrior sapped of all his life energy striving for a goal/dream anyway. I was never meant to be a warrior. A depressed and beaten down warrior striving for a goal and dream is nothing more than a dead lifeless machine striving for a goal and dream. I see no point or any good value in any of that.

It is only pursuing your goals and dreams the truly awesome and transcended way which would be through your good moods that matters. Growing more and more in transcending life force and power in pursuing your goals and dreams as opposed to being beaten down, hopeless, and sapped of all your life energy more and more is obviously the superior way to live and pursue your goals/dreams. It is the only way that gives your life good meaning. It doesn't matter how much I put my focus into my composing dream. As long as I am depressed and don't have my good moods, then none of that can bring my life any good meaning and it would really get to me. It would enrage me.

My good moods are epic and inspired profound moods used for my composing and used to get epic and transcending highs off of my compositions. All that matters in my life is that I am happy in doing the things I want to do and in living my life. Nothing else matters to me. Now you can experience happiness through your thoughts alone while you have anhedonia. But that would only be because some of your reward system function is there to give you that experience.

I have anhedonia now and I am actually in a vibrant mind state right now. In the past when I had anhedonia, everything seemed completely bland and dead to me. This would be because I did not have the neccessary amount of chemicals in my brain to give me this mind state. I could not experience any love, happiness, joy, or inspiration. But now that I have this mind state, this is what is allowing me to perceive some good meaning in my life despite my anhedonia. However, with depression it is a different story.

Depression is something far worse. It completely turns off my reward system and leaves me with no such vibrant mind state at all. I don't think I can ever adapt (be fine with) living with depression since the only way for me to adapt is for me to be in such a vibrant mental state (good mood). I have to be in a good mood in order to adapt to any situation or illness in my life. Thoughts alone of me being fine and adapting to my depression won't give my life any good meaning at all.

If I were to give a metaphor for depression, then it would be like the very life essence of Satan since it destroys and cripples you. It is hell. But our good moods are like the life essence of God since they are very profound good experiences that transcend you and your life. They are heaven.
I just don't understand how someone can experience the most profound good feeling in their life and deem it as nothing more than just a pleasant sensation and don't attribute any good value judgment to it. That it is just nothing more than the process of chemicals and atoms. If it was nothing more than a pleasant sensation, then it would feel like nothing more than a pleasant sensation. But since it feels very profound, then it is very profound. It is a very profound mental state.

As for me having depression, it renders my life seeming like nothing is the same anymore. There are two different personalities. The beauty of nature and this universe has a joyful and happy "alive" personality to it. But my depression is something different. It has a completely hopeless and "dead" personality to it that takes away all good meaning in my life.

Therefore, I cannot be a part of the joyful and happy "alive" personality of this life and universe since I need to be in the mental state of joy and happiness in order for that to happen. Depression instead casts me out of this entire life and universe and instead casts me into a whole new different realm separate from this life and universe. It would be a realm of utter despair like hell. So as long as I am depressed, I cannot be any part of the good meaning of this life and universe.

As long as I am depressed and I attempt to create a song in my head through just mere thought alone without any joy, happiness, or inspiration, then I am just simply creating tunes off of my head that are nothing great at all. I used to have a different hobbie in the past which was playing videogames. This hobby wasn't all that great. But now I have moved onto a much better hobby which would be composing. Therefore, since I have moved onto a greater hobby and a greater way of life, then I expect to be in a great mood in order to give my life great meaning. As long as I am not in a good mood, then this very way of life and new hobby I have moved onto can be nothing good or great to me anymore. Nor can any other hobbies or ways of life either.

I don't have this composing gift for nothing. I need to be in a good mood in order to get good meaning out of it. Going back to the Super Saiyan analogue one more time, I do not do battles. I am not a warrior. I do not get beaten down and have my life energy sapped out of me. My Super Saiyan form is instead used for a transcended purpose which would be channeling awesome energy into making great compositions whether they be dark, gothic, happy, joyful, etc.

So that is why I need all the life energy (good moods) in the world for my composing. Not only so I can compose great music that I want to compose which would be far greater than if these same compositions would have been created through my intelligence/knowledge alone without my good moods, but also because me having my good moods is the only thing that brings good meaning to my life and composing. Never would I choose to sacrifice my good moods for anyone or anything in life since that would only render my life as worthless and of no good value whatsoever.
One more thing I would like to add here is that I detest being an atheist as I said before. The very concept of death and suffering with no eternal blissful afterlife is utterly inferior and loathsome to me. But we then have a different concept which would be this beautiful life, nature, and making the most of our lives which is something great.

So if we were to eliminate that utterly inferor loathsome concept of death and suffering and we were to take the other concept which only gives a finite amount of good meaning to our lives and stretch that concept out to all eternity, then we would have an eternal amount of good meaning in our lives. Those who want death and suffering can have it. But people who want the eternal bliss can have that as well.

I mean, I have suffered from depression for so long and very deeply and I could never go up to someone and say to them that this is just the way life is and that he/she just needs to accept it. If he/she were someone treatment resistant who had to live with it most or his/her entire life, then there is just no way I could say that to him/her. It would be cruel, demeaning, insulting, and dismissive of his/her suffering and how important it is for him/her to have joy and whatnot in his/her life.

It is for that very reason that we absolutely need to create an eternal blissful life of no more suffering here on Earth. That is the difference between you and I. That is the difference between me and most other atheists. They would rather put up with all the suffering, death, and misery as a way of life whereas I would want to eliminate it and create a far better world for us all. If I were a composing genius and became famous in a pretend situation, then I would tell everyone to make me immortal just like my musical talent.

To find a way to give me immortality and eternal bliss. My fans would all listen to me. I am not just doing this for my sake. I am also doing this for the sake of those innocent people and genius artists who also had to suffer as well. I am also asking for a way to bring them back to life as well so that they can live an eternal blissful life in the future created by science. So it is two birds with one stone. I would benefit and all other innocent people who had to suffer would also benefit.

Now even while I struggle with depression and an absence of my good moods, I still have thoughts of good value towards my family. But they really wouldn't have any good meaning to me since having good meaning is a mental state like sight and hearing. So when I say that my family doesn't have any good meaning to me when I am depressed, I do not mean that in a cruel and demeaning way such as looking down upon them and hating them. I instead mean it in the sense that they are all "dead" (meaningless) to me. That everyone and everything seems "dead" to me in life. I am not having any life-filled joyful/happy perception towards them or anyone/anything else to give actual good meaning to my life.

Me living an eternal blissful life would transcend me and my life and make it something greater and greater for all eternity. I need to be an eternal ball of transcending energy that can never die, never suffer, and experiences eternal bliss. My life and composing dream/compositions would only become something greater and greater to me through my eternal good moods. I would never grow tired of it.

If I somehow had to live most or my entire life with treatment resistant depression, then I would resort to bashing my head in by a trained professional or destroying my brain function as a means to rid of that depression and give me my good moods back. I don't care if I was the most intelligent and creative genius in the world. I would choose to destroy all of it since it would have no good meaning to me without my good moods.