Master Vigil
Well-Known Member
My path in this life started out pretty normal for a Catholic kid. Went to church, didn't like it. Went to catholic school, didn't like it. Even as a child I had a big problem with the "reason why evil exists if god is omnipotent and omniscient" question. When I was in 6th grade, I saw a HUGE white wolf standing outside my house. This I came to know as my Main Spirit Guide. Over the next couple years, more wolves would come until I had 6 adult pure white wolves, and one pup. They have become my strength and my best teachers. When I was 15, the wolves told me that my "transformation" would be complete on the full moon of my 16th birthday. Which I felt was kind of cliche. But needless to say, my 16th birthday was on a full moon. I was freaked!!
I had dream which basically led to me waking up and praying for hours into the morning. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to be a priest. I knew this to the depth of my soul. I sought orders in the catholic faith that mirrored my experience. And the Franciscan order had. Especially due to his simple understanding, and his oneness with the universe. It was beautiful. I especially liked the story of him in Gubio with the wolf. (Since my soul is half wolf, this story hit me deep. If you know what I mean).
So I started studying to be a franciscan friar. And decided to check out St. Francis University of Loretto. Guess when their open house was??? My 16th birthday!! So I was pumped, surely this was the "transformation" the wolves spoke of. All day, waiting. Nothing happened. I spent an hour praying in the chapel, nothing. I was broken, depressed, and disappointed. Why would god not make this right? But later that night, while I was watching a movie (I think the 10th Kingdom), I had the sudden urge to go out and see the full moon. And then, it happened.
It was like I was hit by a wrecking ball. I fell flat on my back. I couldn't move, the energy was too intense. It must have been like 5 minutes or so before I could get up, and once I did. I saw them. All of them. All of the spirits. It was the most amazing experience of my life. I can't even explain my joy in words. And I began to understand.
After I awoke the next morning, I could no longer see them. But I could smell them. (Since my soul is half wolf, the smell thing kinda fits). So I began to study, and learn from the spirits. I began to learn that god is simply unknowable, and the only way we can come to understand it is through the things that understand it. Thus, the spirits and nature. I studied anything I could about the spirits, shamanism, animism, shinto, paganism, wicca, etc... I studied the effects of the spirits with different religions, and religious followers and priests.
I have also been a martial artist for over 10 years, and from this experience I have studied alot of eastern philosophy. And when I read the Tao Te Ching, it all fit. Lao Tzu said exactly what the spirits did. It was amazing. The wisdom found in that book is so intense, and the humility is just as equal. The book is only 81 little chapters, and Lao Tzu left without teaching a thing. How much more simple and humble can you get? So I studied more, the I ching, Chuang Tzu, Tai Chi Chuan, Chi Gong, Zen, etc...
I then decided that I needed to teach what the spirits taught me. So I did, I took Taoism and and mixed it with my understanding of the spirits, and called myself a Vigil. And since someone of any religion can be a Vigil, I call myself a Taoist Vigil.
About a year ago, I had horrible visions of my wolf spirit guide being crucified. And then I had the more horrific one. I was in the bathroom and all of sudden I was standing right underneath Jesus as he was being crucified. They stuck the spear in his side, and blood gushed out all over my face. The smell was so horrid that I broke out of the vision, and threw up right in the sink. I knew that christianity would still play a part in my life. So I went to visit a benedictine monk to discuss monkhood. Needless to say, you can't be a benedictine monk if you don't believe jesus was the son of god. However, from my studies with the benedictines, I received a new understanding of Jesus, and a new respect for the man.
So where am I now? I am a Taoist Vigil and I am still teaching at the holistic center. I have developed a meditative exercise called Pulsus in which the energy spheres (spirit) of an individual are enhanced and expanded so that the individual can better understand the spirit world, and thus follow the natural flow of the universe better. My students are progressing wonderfully, and are all Junior Vigils. Which I congratulate them extremely often! As of about a month ago, I can now see the spirits again. Which is allowing me to further my study of the universe, and further my development of Pulsus and the Vigil lifestyle.
May great joy and peace be with all of you. I love you all.
I had dream which basically led to me waking up and praying for hours into the morning. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to be a priest. I knew this to the depth of my soul. I sought orders in the catholic faith that mirrored my experience. And the Franciscan order had. Especially due to his simple understanding, and his oneness with the universe. It was beautiful. I especially liked the story of him in Gubio with the wolf. (Since my soul is half wolf, this story hit me deep. If you know what I mean).
So I started studying to be a franciscan friar. And decided to check out St. Francis University of Loretto. Guess when their open house was??? My 16th birthday!! So I was pumped, surely this was the "transformation" the wolves spoke of. All day, waiting. Nothing happened. I spent an hour praying in the chapel, nothing. I was broken, depressed, and disappointed. Why would god not make this right? But later that night, while I was watching a movie (I think the 10th Kingdom), I had the sudden urge to go out and see the full moon. And then, it happened.
It was like I was hit by a wrecking ball. I fell flat on my back. I couldn't move, the energy was too intense. It must have been like 5 minutes or so before I could get up, and once I did. I saw them. All of them. All of the spirits. It was the most amazing experience of my life. I can't even explain my joy in words. And I began to understand.
After I awoke the next morning, I could no longer see them. But I could smell them. (Since my soul is half wolf, the smell thing kinda fits). So I began to study, and learn from the spirits. I began to learn that god is simply unknowable, and the only way we can come to understand it is through the things that understand it. Thus, the spirits and nature. I studied anything I could about the spirits, shamanism, animism, shinto, paganism, wicca, etc... I studied the effects of the spirits with different religions, and religious followers and priests.
I have also been a martial artist for over 10 years, and from this experience I have studied alot of eastern philosophy. And when I read the Tao Te Ching, it all fit. Lao Tzu said exactly what the spirits did. It was amazing. The wisdom found in that book is so intense, and the humility is just as equal. The book is only 81 little chapters, and Lao Tzu left without teaching a thing. How much more simple and humble can you get? So I studied more, the I ching, Chuang Tzu, Tai Chi Chuan, Chi Gong, Zen, etc...
I then decided that I needed to teach what the spirits taught me. So I did, I took Taoism and and mixed it with my understanding of the spirits, and called myself a Vigil. And since someone of any religion can be a Vigil, I call myself a Taoist Vigil.
About a year ago, I had horrible visions of my wolf spirit guide being crucified. And then I had the more horrific one. I was in the bathroom and all of sudden I was standing right underneath Jesus as he was being crucified. They stuck the spear in his side, and blood gushed out all over my face. The smell was so horrid that I broke out of the vision, and threw up right in the sink. I knew that christianity would still play a part in my life. So I went to visit a benedictine monk to discuss monkhood. Needless to say, you can't be a benedictine monk if you don't believe jesus was the son of god. However, from my studies with the benedictines, I received a new understanding of Jesus, and a new respect for the man.
So where am I now? I am a Taoist Vigil and I am still teaching at the holistic center. I have developed a meditative exercise called Pulsus in which the energy spheres (spirit) of an individual are enhanced and expanded so that the individual can better understand the spirit world, and thus follow the natural flow of the universe better. My students are progressing wonderfully, and are all Junior Vigils. Which I congratulate them extremely often! As of about a month ago, I can now see the spirits again. Which is allowing me to further my study of the universe, and further my development of Pulsus and the Vigil lifestyle.
May great joy and peace be with all of you. I love you all.