Sunstone dung rating!

[Mystic-als]

After much internal turmoil tearing my heart to and fro, toying with the idea of a mind blowingly awsome rating system for our long winded expresions of ..... of..... well dung. aka poetry.
I think it would be a great idea to have a rating system for our poetry.
I personally like Sunstone's rating in his comments, so I propose using it as a rating system.

Any ideas?
1 - maggot dung (rubbish, give up now.)
2 -
3 -
4 -
5 -
6 -
7 -
8 -
9 -
10 - KING KONG DUNG! (a work worthy of legend)

 

[Sunstone]

I think horse manure is good, fertile, acceptable poetry. Stuff no one should be be ashamed about, but could be improved upon.

Then there's giraffe crap. Better than horse manure, more fertile, more finished, bigger impact. Giraffe crap's North American equivalent might be, or might not be the fabled moose poo.

And of course the esteemed, covetted and long sought after Elephant dung. Just below the stuff of legends: King Kong.

Mouse poo. Not good, but not so bad the poet should surrender his or her wood processor to charity and take up some other hobby. Mouse poo is poo with at least one redeeming quality.

Those are some ideas.

 

[Sunstone]

Just a suggestion Mystic, but why don't we go for a twelve point system rather than a 10 point system, for a dozen is more poetic than 10 isn't it? Also easier to work with, IMO.

 

[Mystic-als]

Great idea! 12 it is "the dirty dozen"

So theres
1 - Magot dung
2 -
3 - Mouse poo
4 -
5 -
6 - horse manure
7 - moose poo
8 - Giraffe crap
9 -
10 -
11 - Elephant dung
12 - KING KONG DUNG

 

[Sunstone]

Great idea! 12 it is "the dirty dozen"

So theres
1 - Magot dung
2 - Ant Dust
3 - Mouse poo
4 - Dog dung
5 - Pig's crap
6 - horse manure
7 - moose poo
8 - Giraffe crap
9 - Bear scat
10 - Hippo poo
11 - Elephant dung
12 - KING KONG DUNG

 

[michel]

Where does winnie the pooh stand in all of this ?

 

[Mystic-als]

Oh Nooooooooooooooooooo!!! I knew there would b a good one we forgot! maybe that should be a special rating? The Winnie the Poo rating of exellence. criteria still to be deceided.

 

[Scarlett Wampus]

Yeah, perhaps a special classification not about scale (or summink).

 

[Sunstone]

1 - Magot dung

The author's poem has set back Western Civilization and Literature by more than a decade, in the view of the critic. Authors of Magot dung are strongly encouraged to either take up a new hobby or get therapy in the form of many, many expensive workshops and retreats. This rating should never be given lightly.

2 - Ant Dust

Ant Dust has set back Western Civilization too, but only for less than a decade. Ant Dust has one, and only one, redeeming poetic quality to it. Maybe the poem is well titled, for instance.

3 - Mouse poo

Mouse poo is acceptable as a first effort by a brand new poet. It must have more than one redeeming quality to constitute mouse poo. But the poem lacks anything that would inspire (fertilize) other poets.

4 - Dog dung

With dog's dung we begin to approach real poetry. Dog's dung has three or more redeeming poetic qualities, but perhaps they are not sustained, nor possibly that significant. Dog's dung is still poor fertilizer, poor inspiration to most anyone.

5 - Pig's crap

Pig's crap is like dog's dung, but with something a bit clever about it. Kinda like a pig. You might actually envy a line of pig's crap, but only one line, one word, one conceit.

6 - horse manure

Good solid manure. The average poem. No one need ever be embarrassed to produce horse manure. Everyone but the very worse poets produce some horse manure. There is always something fertile in it, something that makes it worth reading at least once.




7 - moose poo
8 - Giraffe crap
9 - Bear scat
10 - Hippo poo


11 - Elephant dung

The beloved Elephant dung is awarded to poems that richly inspire us to write better poetry, use language better, express ourselves better.



12 - KING KONG DUNG

KING KONG'S DUNG must contain newly created words or phrases with the potential, at least, to change the English language in a good way. It is the stuff of legends.



Everyone feel free to fill in the blanks and elaborate on these descriptions!

 

[Mystic-als]

I think that we should make Winnie the Poo (13) available for poems of a highly emotional content. A poem that makes you ponder life and those close to or those you've lost.

Sooo.

1 - Magot dung

The author's poem has set back Western Civilization and Literature by more than a decade, in the view of the critic. Authors of Magot dung are strongly encouraged to either take up a new hobby or get therapy in the form of many, many expensive workshops and retreats. This rating should never be given lightly.

2 - Ant Dust

Ant Dust has set back Western Civilization too, but only for less than a decade. Ant Dust has one, and only one, redeeming poetic quality to it. Maybe the poem is well titled, for instance.

3 - Mouse poo

Mouse poo is acceptable as a first effort by a brand new poet. It must have more than one redeeming quality to constitute mouse poo. But the poem lacks anything that would inspire (fertilize) other poets.

4 - Dog dung

With dog's dung we begin to approach real poetry. Dog's dung has three or more redeeming poetic qualities, but perhaps they are not sustained, nor possibly that significant. Dog's dung is still poor fertilizer, poor inspiration to most anyone.

5 - Pig's crap

Pig's crap is like dog's dung, but with something a bit clever about it. Kinda like a pig. You might actually envy a line of pig's crap, but only one line, one word, one conceit.

6 - horse manure

Good solid manure. The average poem. No one need ever be embarrassed to produce horse manure. Everyone but the very worse poets produce some horse manure. There is always something fertile in it, something that makes it worth reading at least once.

7 - moose poo

Definitly above average poem. That have more fertile bits than useless. Use of picturess language and poetic license. A poem to be proud of but seek to improve.

8 - Giraffe crap

A poem that demands attention through the carefull use of imagery. A poem that makes you wonder down the "rabbit hole" a little like Alice. It inspires others to pull out that old scrap book and start their own journey down the yellow brick road.

9 - Bear scat
10 - Hippo poo

A poem that submerges you into a world previously unthought of. A world where anything is possible. Where you can hear the colours sing songs of warmth and cold. Where you feel you need to read the poem over and over and over just to feel that emotion or dive into that world again.

11 - Elephant dung

The beloved Elephant dung is awarded to poems that richly inspire us to write better poetry, use language better, express ourselves better.

12 - KING KONG DUNG

KING KONG'S DUNG must contain newly created words or phrases with the potential, at least, to change the English language in a good way. It is the stuff of legends.

13 - Winnie the Poo

poems of a highly emotional content. A poem that makes you ponder life and those close to you or those you've lost. (Poem must be at least a Moose Poo standard to receive this rating)

 

[Mystic-als]

Now all we need is a description for Bear scrat

 

[ChrisP]

The kind of poem that scares you... with it contents.

 

[Buttercup]

The kind of poem that scares you... with it contents.

awesome and perfect!

 

[Mystic-als]

Okay!! We have it. The official (sort of) Sunstone Dung Rating for poems and whatever else you think it applies to.

1 - Magot dung

The author's poem has set back Western Civilization and Literature by more than a decade, in the view of the critic. Authors of Magot dung are strongly encouraged to either take up a new hobby or get therapy in the form of many, many expensive workshops and retreats. This rating should never be given lightly.

2 - Ant Dust

Ant Dust has set back Western Civilization too, but only for less than a decade. Ant Dust has one, and only one, redeeming poetic quality to it. Maybe the poem is well titled, for instance.

3 - Mouse poo

Mouse poo is acceptable as a first effort by a brand new poet. It must have more than one redeeming quality to constitute mouse poo. But the poem lacks anything that would inspire (fertilize) other poets.

4 - Dog dung

With dog's dung we begin to approach real poetry. Dog's dung has three or more redeeming poetic qualities, but perhaps they are not sustained, nor possibly that significant. Dog's dung is still poor fertilizer, poor inspiration to most anyone.

5 - Pig's crap

Pig's crap is like dog's dung, but with something a bit clever about it. Kinda like a pig. You might actually envy a line of pig's crap, but only one line, one word, one conceit.

6 - horse manure

Good solid manure. The average poem. No one need ever be embarrassed to produce horse manure. Everyone but the very worse poets produce some horse manure. There is always something fertile in it, something that makes it worth reading at least once.

7 - moose poo

Definitly above average poem. That have more fertile bits than useless. Use of picturess language and poetic license. A poem to be proud of but seek to improve.

8 - Giraffe crap

A poem that demands attention through the carefull use of imagery. A poem that makes you wonder down the "rabbit hole" a little like Alice. It inspires others to pull out that old scrap book and start their own journey down the yellow brick road.

9 - Bear scat

A poem that scares you with the content. A poem with such frightening imagery that it makes you want to contribute to the poo of this rating.

10 - Hippo poo

A poem that submerges you into a world previously unthought of. A world where anything is possible. Where you can hear the colours sing songs of warmth and cold. Where you feel you need to read the poem over and over and over just to feel that emotion or dive into that world again.

11 - Elephant dung

The beloved Elephant dung is awarded to poems that richly inspire us to write better poetry, use language better, express ourselves better.

12 - KING KONG DUNG

KING KONG'S DUNG must contain newly created words or phrases with the potential, at least, to change the English language in a good way. It is the stuff of legends.

13 - Winnie the Poo

poems of a highly emotional content. A poem that makes you ponder life and those close to you or those you've lost. (Poem must be at least a Moose Poo standard to receive this rating)

Any adjustments welcome. Please read through the ratings and give any comments you would like.

May the dung be with you.
Poo long and prosper.
A crap a day keeps the doctor away.

With these mind blowingly life changing phrases I leave you as happy as a pig in ....
you guested it... poo.