Sometimes I Wish...

[SearchingForGod]

Sometimes I wish I could just declare myself as agnostic and just leave my beliefs at that. For years now I've been chasing religion after religion trying to find some comfort, but each time I try that I always hit a dead end either due to my own morality or my sense of reasoning. "Maybe if I just try to conform everything will be alright," I think to myself each time that I try out a new religion. But it never works, because most times conforming means erasing or silencing a part of myself and that never does me any good.

I just want to be in harmony with God (who may or may not exist) and the true nature of who I am. But it's hard to do that when you don't have someone telling you what to do. That's what I've done all my life; followed someone else's rules. But now nothing fits anymore and it's just awful... then again, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be agnostic and just that. After all, then I could be myself and not have to worry about some higher power being mad at me for just living life.

Does being agnostic mean I have to live without following any rules? Well, no. I guess I could look at the Ten Commandments for guidance as to what not to do, for starters. And there are many philosophers that could probably lend their words of wisdom to me as well... but then, those are all man-made rules aren't they? Who is it that ostensibly makes the rules that we are supposed to follow? Where does God come into all of this? I feel like there are objective truths in the world, but then how do we find the objective truths as it relates to the way that we conduct our own lives? Surely we can't just depend on the words of ourselves as everyone has a different opinion on what the truth is. I guess that's why people are so quick to turn to God... but then that begs the question: Which God's teachings should we follow? Are any religions objectively true from head to toe? We could all be wrong here and we'd be none the wiser. This is a distinct possibility and it's kind of scary to consider... but I guess that's something that I needn't worry about. Chances are that no matter what I choose I'm going to be wrong anyways, so why fight this? Just relax and enjoy the ride of life. I'm sure God, if he or they exist, will be understanding of the fact that we didn't know what truth he wanted us to follow... that is, if he is as loving and merciful as we are all led to believe. *Shrug* I don't know.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Sometimes I wish I could just declare myself as agnostic and just leave my beliefs at that. For years now I've been chasing religion after religion trying to find some comfort, but each time I try that I always hit a dead end either due to my own morality or my sense of reasoning. "Maybe if I just try to conform everything will be alright," I think to myself each time that I try out a new religion. But it never works, because most times conforming means erasing or silencing a part of myself and that never does me any good.

I just want to be in harmony with God (who may or may not exist) and the true nature of who I am. But it's hard to do that when you don't have someone telling you what to do. That's what I've done all my life; followed someone else's rules. But now nothing fits anymore and it's just awful... then again, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be agnostic and just that. After all, then I could be myself and not have to worry about some higher power being mad at me for just living life.

Does being agnostic mean I have to live without following any rules? Well, no. I guess I could look at the Ten Commandments for guidance as to what not to do, for starters. And there are many philosophers that could probably lend their words of wisdom to me as well... but then, those are all man-made rules aren't they? Who is it that ostensibly makes the rules that we are supposed to follow? Where does God come into all of this? I feel like there are objective truths in the world, but then how do we find the objective truths as it relates to the way that we conduct our own lives? Surely we can't just depend on the words of ourselves as everyone has a different opinion on what the truth is. I guess that's why people are so quick to turn to God... but then that begs the question: Which God's teachings should we follow? Are any religions objectively true from head to toe? We could all be wrong here and we'd be none the wiser. This is a distinct possibility and it's kind of scary to consider... but I guess that's something that I needn't worry about. Chances are that no matter what I choose I'm going to be wrong anyways, so why fight this? Just relax and enjoy the ride of life. I'm sure God, if he or they exist, will be understanding of the fact that we didn't know what truth he wanted us to follow... that is, if he is as loving and merciful as we are all led to believe. *Shrug* I don't know.

Hi...I think it's entirely healthy and important to be having these thoughts.
Have a bunch to add, but a little time poor. Just wanted you to know someone is reading your OP, and it is interesting/valuable.

 

[Trackdayguy]

The highest level of understanding is experience. Not sure you'll find what your looking for using the mind to determine whats real, the mind works based on logic, spiritually works on another level, that leaves the mind way behind.

" The man with the experience has the legs on the man with an argument"

 

[Axe Elf]

First of all, if there exists a God worthy of the title, then He is NOT going to be mad at you for earnestly seeking Him. I tell you that with utmost certainty.

Start by understanding that hate is not the opposite of love; selfishness is. The more you act out of selfishness, the less you act out of love. The more you act out of love, the less you act out of selfishness.

Then remember to love God (keep earnestly seeking Him as if that understanding is the most important thing in your life) and love others (keeping in mind the whole selfishness/love dichotomy for guidance).

When you find a way of doing those things that is comfortable for you, then you will have found your religion--one that is guaranteed to be accepted by at least ONE God.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." --James 1:27 (NIV)

 

[Sundance]

Sometimes I wish I could just declare myself as agnostic and just leave my beliefs at that. For years now I've been chasing religion after religion trying to find some comfort, but each time I try that I always hit a dead end either due to my own morality or my sense of reasoning. "Maybe if I just try to conform everything will be alright," I think to myself each time that I try out a new religion. But it never works, because most times conforming means erasing or silencing a part of myself and that never does me any good.

I just want to be in harmony with God (who may or may not exist) and the true nature of who I am. But it's hard to do that when you don't have someone telling you what to do. That's what I've done all my life; followed someone else's rules. But now nothing fits anymore and it's just awful... then again, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be agnostic and just that. After all, then I could be myself and not have to worry about some higher power being mad at me for just living life.

Does being agnostic mean I have to live without following any rules? Well, no. I guess I could look at the Ten Commandments for guidance as to what not to do, for starters. And there are many philosophers that could probably lend their words of wisdom to me as well... but then, those are all man-made rules aren't they? Who is it that ostensibly makes the rules that we are supposed to follow? Where does God come into all of this? I feel like there are objective truths in the world, but then how do we find the objective truths as it relates to the way that we conduct our own lives? Surely we can't just depend on the words of ourselves as everyone has a different opinion on what the truth is. I guess that's why people are so quick to turn to God... but then that begs the question: Which God's teachings should we follow? Are any religions objectively true from head to toe? We could all be wrong here and we'd be none the wiser. This is a distinct possibility and it's kind of scary to consider... but I guess that's something that I needn't worry about. Chances are that no matter what I choose I'm going to be wrong anyways, so why fight this? Just relax and enjoy the ride of life. I'm sure God, if he or they exist, will be understanding of the fact that we didn't know what truth he wanted us to follow... that is, if he is as loving and merciful as we are all led to believe. *Shrug* I don't know.

@SearchingForGod, I can relate to your trials and questions. If your heart is drawn to more than one religion, maybe you could try finding a way to blend them together in a way that works for you.

Regarding God and religion, I believe that He will show you the way you're meant to walk. Though, you must be willing to step back for a while and really tune into yourself and discover what you yourself ultimately understand religiously.

 

[Sunstone]

After all, then I could be myself and not have to worry about some higher power being mad at me for just living life.

Hi SFG!

First, thank you for an insightful and thoughtful post. It's refreshing to listen to someone speak from the heart.

Second, I'm no authority on life, but I would like to offer you a few things to consider. You yourself must decide whether they are of any value to you, though.

"Being yourself" or "Being true to yourself" is a cliché, and because it is a cliché, the importance of living as true to yourself as you can live is often overlooked. But every sage from the Buddha to Shakespeare and beyond has urged people to be true to themselves. I myself -- though no sage -- believe that it is impossible to be truly happy in this world without being substantially true to yourself. What does it mean, though?

Being true to yourself -- which can also be called living "authentically" -- is unfortunately very difficult to do. There are, for instance, all sorts of pressures to conform to some other person's notions of who you should be. Your professors, your bosses, your partners, your friends, your relatives, your parents can all have their own ideas of what you should be, and they often enough try to impose their ideas on you. Then again, even without the pressures to conform to other people's expectations of who you should be, there is the problem of finding out who you really are. I can tell you that in my experience of people, most don't have more than a clue or two about who they really are.

Nevertheless, I believe that, if you want to be happy, you must to some large extent live authentically. Being totally authentic is perhaps impossible, and might not even be desirable in most cases, but to live as authentically as possible has many deep rewards, not the least of which is that it opens the door to genuine happiness.

Authenticity is not the only thing required for profound happiness, but it is in my opinion a necessary thing. Without it, I do not think there's much chance of any genuine happiness, even though it might not be enough alone.

One way to begin getting in touch with your self is to ask what your talents are. Are you musically inclined? Do you have a talent for athletics? Do you like to think about or ponder things? Do you find it easier to do maths than to party with large groups of people? Do you have a gift of empathy for others? And so on.

Find your talents, and then find ways to turn them into skills. If there is a god, that god surely did not place you on this earth for you to not make as much of the talents he gave you as you can. If you have a talent for music, for instance, consider pursuing it as a career -- or if that seems unwise for one reason or another -- consider pursuing it as a hobby. And the same goes for any other talents you might have.

The ideal human adult, in my opinion, is a strong individual, true to themselves, who pursues their talents in a socially and environmentally responsible way.

Next, as for agnosticism, I think you should follow logical reasoning and empirical evidence in deciding whether to be an agnostic. To do otherwise -- to base your decision on, say, your feelings alone -- is to betray your intellectual honesty.

I cannot say for sure, but it would make no sense to me if there was a god who gave us brains to think, but who didn't want us to use them.

Last, I base my advice on 60 years experience dealing with the same issues that you raise in your OP, but you should not simply accept my advice -- or accept anyone's advice -- without due consideration. After all, it's your life. Anyone can offer your advice, but no one will suffer for you if the advice doesn't fit you.

Good luck, @SearchingForGod!

 

[sun rise]

"Maybe if I just try to conform everything will be alright,"

That's never been really true although people have tried very hard to convince themselves and sometimes manage to believe it for a time.

I'm sure God, if he or they exist, will be understanding of the fact that we didn't know what truth he wanted us to follow... that is, if he is as loving and merciful as we are all led to believe. *Shrug* I don't know.

I believe you are actually doing a very powerful meditation although it clearly does not feel like one. "What is Truth?" can be thought of as a Zen koan as I see it. It's also considered part of yoga as this web page notes: What Is The Meaning Of Sat Nam?

I think therefore that you are far ahead of those who just accept something without weighing it in their hearts. Those who seek may find. Those who don't seek can never find.

 

[YmirGF]

@SearchingForGod

With every doubt know that you move another step closer to your goal. We play this game of cat and mouse with ourselves so that we finally appreciate the depth of the endeavor. When you see, you will understand why it took so long to comprehend. My best advice is that you should not worry about it. There is something deep within you that will make you swoon and gasp in astonishment upon recognition. It's there right now. It will be there in a week, a month or ten years. It's always been there and always will be. You are never alone.

Until that day or rainy night, when you least expect it, do take to heart what @Sunstone has thoughtfully given here. It is very good advice. In closing, again, stop worrying... .. be happy.

 

[Sunstone]

@SearchingForGod

With every doubt know that you move another step closer to your goal. We play this game of cat and mouse with ourselves so that we finally appreciate the depth of the endeavor. When you see, you will understand why it took so long to comprehend. My best advice is that you should not worry about it. There is something deep within you that will make you swoon and gasp in astonishment upon recognition. It's there right now. It will be there in a week, a month or ten years. It's always been there and always will be. You are never alone.

Paul is giving you excellent advice here, @SearchingForGod. Golden advice.

I would strongly urge you to study it, explore it, and judge for yourself whether it works for you.

Paul and I don't see eye to eye on many things, but on this matter and some others we are in full and complete agreement. Nevertheless, you should not take our advice without fully considering it, without experimenting with it. It works for both of us, but it's up to you to decide whether it works for you.

 

[ThePainefulTruth]

Sometimes I wish I could just declare myself as agnostic and just leave my beliefs at that. For years now I've been chasing religion after religion trying to find some comfort, but each time I try that I always hit a dead end either due to my own morality or my sense of reasoning. "Maybe if I just try to conform everything will be alright," I think to myself each time that I try out a new religion. But it never works, because most times conforming means erasing or silencing a part of myself and that never does me any good.

I just want to be in harmony with God (who may or may not exist) and the true nature of who I am. But it's hard to do that when you don't have someone telling you what to do. That's what I've done all my life; followed someone else's rules. But now nothing fits anymore and it's just awful... then again, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be agnostic and just that. After all, then I could be myself and not have to worry about some higher power being mad at me for just living life.

Does being agnostic mean I have to live without following any rules? Well, no. I guess I could look at the Ten Commandments for guidance as to what not to do, for starters. And there are many philosophers that could probably lend their words of wisdom to me as well... but then, those are all man-made rules aren't they? Who is it that ostensibly makes the rules that we are supposed to follow? Where does God come into all of this? I feel like there are objective truths in the world, but then how do we find the objective truths as it relates to the way that we conduct our own lives? Surely we can't just depend on the words of ourselves as everyone has a different opinion on what the truth is. I guess that's why people are so quick to turn to God... but then that begs the question: Which God's teachings should we follow? Are any religions objectively true from head to toe? We could all be wrong here and we'd be none the wiser. This is a distinct possibility and it's kind of scary to consider... but I guess that's something that I needn't worry about. Chances are that no matter what I choose I'm going to be wrong anyways, so why fight this? Just relax and enjoy the ride of life. I'm sure God, if he or they exist, will be understanding of the fact that we didn't know what truth he wanted us to follow... that is, if he is as loving and merciful as we are all led to believe. *Shrug* I don't know.

I bet you haven't tried mine, agnostic-deism, holding Truth to be God--whether there's a super-sentient designer-being or not. When you face those big crises in your life, you never have to ask why. You know why. If God exists, It doesn't interact in this natural, rational universe...EVER, in order to maintain our free will, the sole purpose of the universe. (And my moral code is almost as simple, a universally applicable, refined Golden Rule). The problem is, most religions, seeking control (same as governments), have so many rules, it's almost a sin to relieve yourself.