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Sit down, shut up, and quit ruining my life

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
Question is, why do they have to reveal their sexuality to their boss? I'm sure a gay person could work there, as long as they're just being themselves, and not bringing up that their gay, and I'm not saying to hide it or to be in the closet, but I highly doubt this guy would ask if someone is gay, so why bring it up?
Because people should not have to hide to appease others. I used to work a guy who used to work a battery factory where they required showers after each shift. Because he was gay, he was very unnerved by knowing he was surrounded by people who could potentially cause physical and/or psychological harm to him if they found out he was gay, so he was put in the position of insisting he had a girlfriend.
No, you don't have to bring it up, but it's normal for people to bring up their significant other, and then what are you supposed to do outside of work? Never be seen with the person you love because someone might find out which can result in a pink slip being waiting for you when you get back to work?
 
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MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
Question is, why do they have to reveal their sexuality to their boss? I'm sure a gay person could work there, as long as they're just being themselves, and not bringing up that their gay, and I'm not saying to hide it or to be in the closet, but I highly doubt this guy would ask if someone is gay, so why bring it up?

Being gay IS who they are. It's everything that makes up how they fall in love and share their lives with the ones they love.

Why should hetero employees have the freedom to carry around pictures of their opposite sex spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends and queer employees remain quiet?

The hypocrisy became extremely obvious when I would date women. As long as the environment support and propagates heterosexuality as the default, we'll continue to operate with the attitude that queers like me should be nothing but appreciative and happy getting the scraps from the table of abundance offered to straights.
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Yes, people will not like you, but not liking and hating are two different things. Have you ever had your car vandalized, including the windows being shattered, just because of the way you are? Are you subject to people telling you to go to hell, that you should off yourself, or someone should kill you on a regular basis? Have you ever been denied employment, terminated from a job, or denied housing or evicted because of the way you are? Have you ever been denied life-saving treatment because of the way you are? It is illegal to do these things, but only if you fall under a privileged or protected class. Being homosexual or transsexual is not a protected class, is obviously not a privileged class, and in many states those who are GLBT are subject to the whims of hatred from employers, land lords, and even doctors who will refuse to operate on ovarian or cervical cancer on a female-to-male transsexual because conveniently he is a guy, not a woman. And not too mention harassment, threats of violence and death, vandalism, and people who go out of their way to try and make you feel like ****.
What makes the struggles for equality among the GLBT community any different from the civil rights movements 50 years ago? It's legal in many states to fire us for no real reason, evict us from housing from no real reason, and we even get the "separate but equal" rubbish of "civil unions" which is only another way of saying "we're better than you/you're not good enough."
If a business leader were to be openly racists towards black people, and funded groups that work to legally oppress black people, there would be a major outcry and instead of an appreciation day people would stop supporting the business because it supports hate. Why should our struggles and hardships be any less?
Cathy can say what he wants, but by even financially supporting his right to say what he wants will only end up supporting the hatred that caused this controversy in the first place.

OK, so you just proved my point even more, they will HATE you if they find out you're gay, and physically hurt you every chance that they got, that makes it an even bigger reason not to reveal your homosexuality.

And I don't see why that's so hard to ask for, it's either someone's going to hurt you, or they don't give a flying hoot if you're gay, so why even bring it up? It's unnecessary and does a hell of a lot more harm than good.

Because people should not have to hide to appease others. I used to work a guy who used to work a battery factory where they required showers after each shift. Because he was gay, he was very unnerved by knowing he was surrounded by people who could potentially cause physical and/or psychological harm to him if they found out he was gay, so he was put in the position of insisting he had a girlfriend.
No, you don't have to bring it up, but it's normal for people to bring up their significant other, and then what are you supposed to do outside of work? Never be seen with the person you love because someone might find out which can result in a pink slip being waiting for you when you get back to work?

It's not hiding to appease others... it's hiding to save yourself. It's not like revealing it will appease others.

Being gay IS who they are. It's everything that makes up how they fall in love and share their lives with the ones they love.

I never went into work and said "I'm hetero!" or anything in relation to the topic... I don't see why a homosexual has to.

Why should hetero employees have the freedom to carry around pictures of their opposite sex spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends and queer employees remain quiet?

It's just a picture that you're only going to see at most 12 hours a day, when you get home you get to see the real thing.

It's as simple as not bringing a picture in... a little unimportant picture... don't bring it in and you wont be fired! That simple. Let alone, I extremely doubt someone would bring a picture of their lover to work at a chicken place.

The hypocrisy became extremely obvious when I would date women. As long as the environment support and propagates heterosexuality as the default, we'll continue to operate with the attitude that queers like me should be nothing but appreciative and happy getting the scraps from the table of abundance offered to straights.

Relationships are something outside of work. I personally believe if you're working you should focus on work stuff (unless at a break). Relationships have nothing relevant to a chicken place.

because discrimination is something we want to get rid of...

It seems to me, that the easiest way to get rid of discrimination is to not bring it up...
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
The allegations were that Chick-fil-A discriminates against their homosexual employees, that they are fired if discovered they are gay by some franchise owners/managers, and that corporate has done nothing about it.
Allegations are easy to make, but what evidence is there?

And even if true, does that justify governmental retaliation in broad ways without adjudication?
This would be a dangerous power to allow government. Let's say that you perform a piece which
a local politician believes to be obscene. You could see multiple regulatory agencies try to shut
you down without ever having your day in court.
 
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jarofthoughts

Empirical Curmudgeon
Question is, why do they have to reveal their sexuality to their boss? I'm sure a gay person could work there, as long as they're just being themselves, and not bringing up that their gay, and I'm not saying to hide it or to be in the closet, but I highly doubt this guy would ask if someone is gay, so why bring it up?

Suppose you're a gay boy working there and your boyfriend comes by to pick you up after work.
And when he meets you, he does what most couples do; he greets you with a kiss.
And suppose that your boss, who is also leaving for the day, sees this happen.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
OK, so you just proved my point even more, they will HATE you if they find out you're gay, and physically hurt you every chance that they got, that makes it an even bigger reason not to reveal your homosexuality.

And I don't see why that's so hard to ask for, it's either someone's going to hurt you, or they don't give a flying hoot if you're gay, so why even bring it up? It's unnecessary and does a hell of a lot more harm than good.
Why should I hide and keep quiet? Do I not deserve equal protection under the law? Why should somebody not be open about who they are just because someone else's bigotry? And for some of us, there is no hiding who we are. And what are we supposed to do outside of work? Never be seen with the one we love because it may offend someone and result in termination or eviction?

I never went into work and said "I'm hetero!" or anything in relation to the topic... I don't see why a homosexual has to.
I've only seen a few people who are that vocal about it, but many more that it becomes apparent after conversing with them for awhile, noticing who comes to visit them at work, pictures being shown, etc. If a hetero person can show off pictures of their families, including spouse, then why should a homosexual live in fear that if she or he would partake in what everybody else does it may result in termination?

It seems to me, that the easiest way to get rid of discrimination is to not bring it up...
Again, there are some of us who simply cannot hide it.
Going back 50+ years ago, what were black people to do? Never leave the house because the Klan might be around the corner waiting to lynch them? Should Dr. King just have stayed home, because his approach to equality, respect, and walking hand-in-hand regardless of race got him killed?
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Suppose you're a gay boy working there and your boyfriend comes by to pick you up after work.
And when he meets you, he does what most couples do; he greets you with a kiss.
And suppose that your boss, who is also leaving for the day, sees this happen.

Solution 1: Get my own car.

Solution 2: Wait to kiss until home.



And no, most couples do not do that, unless they're trying to show off. Why would they kiss just after work? It makes no sense. I've never saw it happen before at least, maybe it's just that I'm looking at the only few people who do not kiss when picking their lover up from work, or else it rarely happens.
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Why should I hide and keep quiet? Do I not deserve equal protection under the law? Why should somebody not be open about who they are just because someone else's bigotry? And for some of us, there is no hiding who we are. And what are we supposed to do outside of work? Never be seen with the one we love because it may offend someone and result in termination or eviction?

1. Why be open about who you are if it's going to get you fired?

2. In reality, nobody cares who others are unless they're bigots towards what you are.

3. Maybe I wasn't clear... I was saying that outside of work is the best time to do your relationship stuff. Why do it AT work is what I was saying.


I've only seen a few people who are that vocal about it, but many more that it becomes apparent after conversing with them for awhile, noticing who comes to visit them at work, pictures being shown, etc. If a hetero person can show off pictures of their families, including spouse, then why should a homosexual live in fear that if she or he would partake in what everybody else does it may result in termination?


It's just a picture that you're only going to see at most 12 hours a day, when you get home you get to see the real thing.

It's as simple as not bringing a picture in... a little unimportant picture... don't bring it in and you wont be fired! That simple. Let alone, I extremely doubt someone would bring a picture of their lover to work at a chicken place.

Again, there are some of us who simply cannot hide it.
Going back 50+ years ago, what were black people to do? Never leave the house because the Klan might be around the corner waiting to lynch them? Should Dr. King just have stayed home, because his approach to equality, respect, and walking hand-in-hand regardless of race got him killed?

How can't you hide it at your own work place, especially if you're just selling chicken all day?

Black people is a different story because their race actually is SHOWN, as for your sexuality that's just an emotional thing, it can be hidden, it's not like it shows up on your skin.
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Heterosexuals don't have to do that. Why should homosexuals?

Why should people allow their own lives to be dictated by other people's irrational bible fetish?

A lot of people normally do have their own car, and if they don't they don't normally kiss their lover right away after work...

It's not their lives it's their work lives.
 

jarofthoughts

Empirical Curmudgeon
Solution 1: Get my own car.

Shouldn't be necessary.

Solution 2: Wait to kiss until home.

Shouldn't be necessary.

And no, most couples do not do that, unless they're trying to show off. Why would they kiss just after work? It makes no sense. I've never saw it happen before at least, maybe it's just that I'm looking at the only few people who do not kiss when picking their lover up from work, or else it rarely happens.

Well, I know plenty of couples who do just that, but the point is that they are not doing anything wrong or illegal, and whether they kiss or not should be their own choice.
I bet the (hypothetical) boss wouldn't even lift an eyebrow if a guy and his girlfriend shared a kiss when they met up, but for some reason, when it's a guy and his boyfriend or a girl and her girlfriend, it's an issue.

Go figure.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
1. Why be open about who you are if it's going to get you fired?

2. In reality, nobody cares who others are unless they're bigots towards what you are.

3. Maybe I wasn't clear... I was saying that outside of work is the best time to do your relationship stuff. Why do it AT work is what I was saying.
Outside of work doesn't matter to many. If you are discovered, even outside of work, then in many states it becomes legally acceptable for your boss to fire you.

How can't you hide it at your own work place, especially if you're just selling chicken all day?
For me, it's not just sexual orientation but gender identity. That one for many is very difficult, if not impossible to hide, and is grounds for legal termination and even eviction in many states.

And no, most couples do not do that, unless they're trying to show off. Why would they kiss just after work? It makes no sense. I've never saw it happen before at least, maybe it's just that I'm looking at the only few people who do not kiss when picking their lover up from work, or else it rarely happens.
I've seen it quite often, or what was common where my dad worked was their s.o. would pick them up on lunch breaks that fell on pay day, go cash their check on lunch break, and enjoy lunch together. But many couples do greet with a kiss, and many homosexuals have been fired for greeting their s.o. with a kiss.
And why should homosexuals hide who they are because someone might take offense? It's no different than expecting a Muslim woman to not wear her hijab and hide her religious identity because someone will probably take offense to it.
Why should homosexuals have to cater to the bigotry of others? Last time I checked, freedom and equality were the goals, not oppression because someone can't deal with or accept people's differences. Or maybe I just took to heart more-so than others the elementary school lessons that other people are not like me, and I will always encounter people who are different than I am.
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Guys... just because you're gay doesn't mean you talk about your relationship status/sexuality all the time. It's not like a straight guy would go up to a heterophobic boss and say "I'm straight but i don't respect your beliefs so you can't fire me" Any normal person would keep the fact that they're gay or straight to their own selves, especially if it were at the risk of losing their job.

If they don't like it, they don't have to work there, not make a big scene of it.
 

Father Heathen

Veteran Member
Guys... just because you're gay doesn't mean you talk about your relationship status/sexuality all the time.
how or why should it be any different from straits that do the same?

It's not like a straight guy would go up to a heterophobic boss and say "I'm straight but i don't respect your beliefs so you can't fire me"

I don't think a gay guy would do this either. I think you're grasping for straws because the idea makes you uncomfortable and insecure.
 

Me Myself

Back to my username
1. Why be open about who you are if it's going to get you fired?

2. In reality, nobody cares who others are unless they're bigots towards what you are.

3. Maybe I wasn't clear... I was saying that outside of work is the best time to do your relationship stuff. Why do it AT work is what I was saying.





It's just a picture that you're only going to see at most 12 hours a day, when you get home you get to see the real thing.

It's as simple as not bringing a picture in... a little unimportant picture... don't bring it in and you wont be fired! That simple. Let alone, I extremely doubt someone would bring a picture of their lover to work at a chicken place.



How can't you hide it at your own work place, especially if you're just selling chicken all day?

Black people is a different story because their race actually is SHOWN, as for your sexuality that's just an emotional thing, it can be hidden, it's not like it shows up on your skin.

If there is a rule for people not kissing at work, I can understand it.

The case is the shouldn`t have more legal problems than straigth guys/gals . why would they do it? well, I have a bisexual friend who must continually jump through hoops so that his work place doesn`t know he is dating a guy. Wait, did I say "must"? He really shouldn`t, and it IS bothersome. Different circumstances made it so for him on different ocassions, but it was and it is and is most likely still going to be. Having relationships with the people you work with, and with tweeter and such, people ARE going to find out unless you hide it from almost everybody. It is a freaking headache.

They don`t need that extra stress, and it is A LOT of extra stress. What happens when your boss follows you in tweeter man?

It`s just problematic. The sooner we treat it as we treat it for heteros, the sooner no one will feel uncomfortable because of it, neither heteros nor homos nor bis, etc. But if the hiding continues, everyone will keep being uncomfortable.

It`s simply the least effective scenario in the long run.
 

Draka

Wonder Woman
Conversations happen at work about home life. They just do. To pass the time. People may comment about their kids, how they need to take their car to the shop, how their in-laws are coming to visit and their spouse is making meatloaf for dinner. It is unreasonable and unfair to expect homosexual employees to have to constantly watch everything they say and to make up lies about their home life because they are afraid of repercussions should someone hear something they don't approve of. This is what was so wrong about about DADT in the military and why it was such a good thing when it was repealed. No one should have to worry about losing their jobs because their boss happens to overhear the conversation Dan has on break with another man about going out for their anniversary. Not when the exact same conversation wouldn't even be blinked at would it have occurred between Carrie and some man.
 
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