Seeking a Path after Losing Faith

[Audie]

You don't know that what you call not a knowing is really a knowing which you can't accept as a knowing. But I know that my knowing is a knowing.

Gibberish

 

[Alien826]

My advice is what I would suggest to someone who is newly divorced. Don't rush off and try to replace the failed relationship with another relationship. Be on your own and learn that you don't need something external to yourself to be happy. I'm not suggesting atheism as a world view, just living with yourself and finding happiness within yourself. Take a vacation from religion. At first you will feel desperately lonely, as the need within you that religion satisfied is still there. Don't be dragged back in.

What I'm suggesting is one of the most difficult things in the world, and how you approach it is up to you. Sorry, I don't have some kind of formula for you, and if I suggested one it could become just another religion to obsess over.

If you do succeed, the realization that you only need yourself to be happy will be the most liberating thing you will ever experience. You can then, if you still wish to, pursue another religious faith. This time though you will not be treating a faith as something to lean on or something to fulfill you (though it may). Set backs won't faze you because you will know that you don't need to succeed, you are perfectly fine as you are.

Just a note about myself to anyone who is finding me smug and self satisfied. I did find it, then forgot it and find myself back in the swamp. It's not easy.

 

[Orbit]

I wouldn't obsess about it. Read about things that interest you, but don't feel like you *have* to find a path. Do life, and let the path find you.

 

[WillEast]

Hi Billy,

I see your current religious identity is Hindu. An "all knowing all powerful God" is more an Abrahamic concept than a Hindu one.

What Hindu deities have you worked with, if any, and what have you learned of them?

I'll also point out that faith or belief in god concepts is not a requisite of Hinduism. There are Hindus that are atheist (we have one here on the forum that is usually active).

Which religious texts are you getting a negative feeling about?

Yes. I do feel a close connection with Hinduism and the Hindu version of a god that you describe seems more appealing to me. I visit the local Hindu temple often and like the ability to go there without any membership or meetings and just to worship different Hindu deities mainly Krishna but mostly all of them. I found a connection to the Hare Krishnas also but eventually grew tired of rigid rules and prescriptions for life. I pretty much also grew a bit tired of most religious texts. I prefer some like the Bhagavad Gita but most of them have stuff I find outdated. It is becoming harder for me to relate to any concept of God though I am not the type of atheist who proclaims there is no God just that I no longer find the concept useful for me or relevant. So I may lean toward atheism but still have beliefs in karma and reincarntion.

 

[WillEast]

My advice is what I would suggest to someone who is newly divorced. Don't rush off and try to replace the failed relationship with another relationship. Be on your own and learn that you don't need something external to yourself to be happy. I'm not suggesting atheism as a world view, just living with yourself and finding happiness within yourself. Take a vacation from religion. At first you will feel desperately lonely, as the need within you that religion satisfied is still there. Don't be dragged back in.

What I'm suggesting is one of the most difficult things in the world, and how you approach it is up to you. Sorry, I don't have some kind of formula for you, and if I suggested one it could become just another religion to obsess over.

If you do succeed, the realization that you only need yourself to be happy will be the most liberating thing you will ever experience. You can then, if you still wish to, pursue another religious faith. This time though you will not be treating a faith as something to lean on or something to fulfill you (though it may). Set backs won't faze you because you will know that you don't need to succeed, you are perfectly fine as you are.

Just a note about myself to anyone who is finding me smug and self satisfied. I did find it, then forgot it and find myself back in the swamp. It's not easy.

Thank-you. Yes. I think I do need to take a longer break from religion. I have grown out of the whole institution pretty much as I have found most religions share similar things I avoid like rigid rules, doctrines I don't share, and other stuff.

 

[WillEast]

You and many other people express this. You are not the first I have heard say something like it. They don't all have your precise list of experiences, but they kind of say similar things and then pass through RF. Sometimes they stick around, too.

Have you considered volunteer work? You could start your own volunteer organization, too. Look online for volunteer web sites.

What lots of religious groups have in common is that they don't do anything much, so you're there passively. Its like watching an endless parade or an endless cheer rally. At first it may seem exciting, but sooner or later you get hungry and bored.

The example of the parade you provided is what I went through with religion. I at first am eager to learn about it but then find common difficulties with all of the groups. It is refreshing to hear my experience is something that others share.

 

[WillEast]

Interesting in how your progression is similar to mine.

I have found Advaita Vedanta philosophy as my foundation and am personally quite comfortable with this.

I still love the Bhagavad Gita. Why do you feeling a falling out with that text?

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy reading parts of the Bhagavad Gita. Keep in mind I have read Prabhubad's version As It Is so it is hard for me to separate from memory which parts he wrote and which parts were the original. Still, I think I just need a break from all texts, dogmas, doctrines for a while to clear my mind.

 

[CharmingOwl]

All,

I have been a seeker for a long time. I grew up Catholic, became atheist and then joined various groups including the Hare Krishnas and Eckankar. Now I have started to have this negative feeling when reading religious texts. I don't have a sincere faith or belief in many of the concepts like a God or the different masters or deities. It is too hard for me to believe in this God. I am not sure exactly what I believe in now but it is not some all knowing and all powerful God. I still have other spiritual beliefs such as karma and reincarnation. I used to enjoy the community of a Church or groups listed but it feels wrong now for me to belong to them since I don't share their beliefs. I would like to gain some feedback from others on choosing a path when my beliefs are uncertain. Thank-you, Billy

I think the issue is that you are looking for groups instead of deciding yourself what you believe and going from there. When I was shopping for a spiritual path so to speak I was very drawn to folk practices and practices where deities were flawed and human. However that's so vague and that can be pagan, left hand path, some folk variations of major religions, etc. That's not specific but if I was atheist, that determination about the belief system I want to have helps me to figure out what spiritual system is the best for me.

 

[WillEast]

Thank-you all for you comments. It is clear to me that right now I need to take a break from religion and just experience life as it is and not worry so much about which path to choose. I do have beliefs right now but it is clear to me now that religion itself is not something I want to be involved with at least until I can reconcile my differences with it such as the issues with doctrines I think are crazy and such. I even question the beliefs I have such as karma and reincarnation but I also do not artificially try to discard beliefs just because I do not have definitive proof. Some of the comments may not make sense to me now but years later may. Years ago a friend I had who had experienced a bad car accident had mentioned that the world is like a chess game between good and evil. It was not until 15 years later when that comment started to make sense to me. Likewise all of the comments you made are appreciated for their consideration. Thank-you and I will post updates. I am grateful for this community here.

 

[syo]

All,

I have been a seeker for a long time. I grew up Catholic, became atheist and then joined various groups including the Hare Krishnas and Eckankar. Now I have started to have this negative feeling when reading religious texts. I don't have a sincere faith or belief in many of the concepts like a God or the different masters or deities. It is too hard for me to believe in this God. I am not sure exactly what I believe in now but it is not some all knowing and all powerful God. I still have other spiritual beliefs such as karma and reincarnation. I used to enjoy the community of a Church or groups listed but it feels wrong now for me to belong to them since I don't share their beliefs. I would like to gain some feedback from others on choosing a path when my beliefs are uncertain. Thank-you, Billy

Become pagan.

 

[loverofhumanity]

All,

I have been a seeker for a long time. I grew up Catholic, became atheist and then joined various groups including the Hare Krishnas and Eckankar. Now I have started to have this negative feeling when reading religious texts. I don't have a sincere faith or belief in many of the concepts like a God or the different masters or deities. It is too hard for me to believe in this God. I am not sure exactly what I believe in now but it is not some all knowing and all powerful God. I still have other spiritual beliefs such as karma and reincarnation. I used to enjoy the community of a Church or groups listed but it feels wrong now for me to belong to them since I don't share their beliefs. I would like to gain some feedback from others on choosing a path when my beliefs are uncertain. Thank-you, Billy

Follow your heart is my advice.

I was born a Catholic then in my youth drifted to become atheist. I eventually found that accepting the truth in all religions was very liberating and all humanity as my family very refreshing.

 

[Viker]

All,

I have been a seeker for a long time. I grew up Catholic, became atheist and then joined various groups including the Hare Krishnas and Eckankar. Now I have started to have this negative feeling when reading religious texts. I don't have a sincere faith or belief in many of the concepts like a God or the different masters or deities. It is too hard for me to believe in this God. I am not sure exactly what I believe in now but it is not some all knowing and all powerful God. I still have other spiritual beliefs such as karma and reincarnation. I used to enjoy the community of a Church or groups listed but it feels wrong now for me to belong to them since I don't share their beliefs. I would like to gain some feedback from others on choosing a path when my beliefs are uncertain. Thank-you, Billy

Forge your own path. Go with what you are already drawn to. Nobody needs a religion or prefab label to make them feel whole. If you feel you need guidance there's a few here that may be able to help. But keep searching. Keep machete chopping your way through the wilderness. You'll find it.

If you want to stick to something conventional try looking into Theravada Buddhism. I've even found it useful before. I view Buddhism as more of a philosophical discipline than a mere religion.

 

[NewGuyOnTheBlock]

All,

I have been a seeker for a long time. I grew up Catholic, became atheist and then joined various groups including the Hare Krishnas and Eckankar. Now I have started to have this negative feeling when reading religious texts. I don't have a sincere faith or belief in many of the concepts like a God or the different masters or deities. It is too hard for me to believe in this God. I am not sure exactly what I believe in now but it is not some all knowing and all powerful God. I still have other spiritual beliefs such as karma and reincarnation. I used to enjoy the community of a Church or groups listed but it feels wrong now for me to belong to them since I don't share their beliefs. I would like to gain some feedback from others on choosing a path when my beliefs are uncertain. Thank-you, Billy

Please accept my empathy.

I was a fundamentalist, dogmatic, young earth creationist, faith healing, pentecostal fanatic in my youth. I, too, passed through various denominations of Christianity, turned to Eastern religions, then to paganism, and touched on various traditions in seeking my "path". I, too, shifted from "heaven and hell" to "reincarnation" and "karma". My journey from where I was to where I am now was a journey of 12 years.

The labels that describe me best at this time in my life are: atheist, anti-theist, secular humanist, materialist, rationalist.

Wherever your journey takes you, is where it takes you.

 

[WillEast]

I would like to take a minute to thank everyone for their helpful comments. I had been in a spiritual crisis and realized I need to step back from religion for a bit. I was in confusion whether to just focus on one path or none at all but it became clear I just needed a break from religion.

I am grateful for this welcoming community. It was what I needed: welcoming regardless of one's beliefs and background which may have been partially what I missed during my time with religion which tended to be more sectarian in nature.

For now I am not going to worry so much about which path to choose but just to experience life and take one day at a time. I look forward to further association with the community here.

 

[WillEast]

Please accept my empathy.

I was a fundamentalist, dogmatic, young earth creationist, faith healing, pentecostal fanatic in my youth. I, too, passed through various denominations of Christianity, turned to Eastern religions, then to paganism, and touched on various traditions in seeking my "path". I, too, shifted from "heaven and hell" to "reincarnation" and "karma". My journey from where I was to where I am now was a journey of 12 years.

The labels that describe me best at this time in my life are: atheist, anti-theist, secular humanist, materialist, rationalist.

Wherever your journey takes you, is where it takes you.

I am amazed at how many people share similar stories as myself. I started out on the spiritual crisis with a lonely feeling but as people shared their experiences I realized mine were much more common than I realized and that has brought some comfort to me during this time.

 

[WillEast]

Forge your own path. Go with what you are already drawn to. Nobody needs a religion or prefab label to make them feel whole. If you feel you need guidance there's a few here that may be able to help. But keep searching. Keep machete chopping your way through the wilderness. You'll find it.

If you want to stick to something conventional try looking into Theravada Buddhism. I've even found it useful before. I view Buddhism as more of a philosophical discipline than a mere religion.

Thank-you. Yes for now I do need to step away at least for a bit from conventional religion. I need to just experience life and forge my own unique path. I think what was bothering me was that religion kept me from feeling authentic. I felt I had to conform in part to doctrine. For now I will just live my own path. Thanks in part to this community still feel association without being held to specific beliefs.

 

[PearlSeeker]

All,

I have been a seeker for a long time. I grew up Catholic, became atheist and then joined various groups including the Hare Krishnas and Eckankar. Now I have started to have this negative feeling when reading religious texts. I don't have a sincere faith or belief in many of the concepts like a God or the different masters or deities. It is too hard for me to believe in this God. I am not sure exactly what I believe in now but it is not some all knowing and all powerful God. I still have other spiritual beliefs such as karma and reincarnation. I used to enjoy the community of a Church or groups listed but it feels wrong now for me to belong to them since I don't share their beliefs. I would like to gain some feedback from others on choosing a path when my beliefs are uncertain. Thank-you, Billy

Welcome fellow seeker!

I also grew up Catholic. After many years I came to a conclusion that I was indoctrinated to believe myths and dogmas based on these myths... I remained in church but only socially and culturally.

I have lost interest to search for (transcendent) truth also in other religions (because all are rationally implausible - without useful evidence). Life is not a fairytale. I'm trying to become accustomed to look at life from a naturalistic perspective and find meaning by myself...

 

[WillEast]

Welcome fellow seeker!

I also grew up Catholic. After many years I came to a conclusion that I was indoctrinated to believe myths and dogmas based on these myths... I remained in church but only socially and culturally.

I have lost interest to search for (transcendent) truth also in other religions (because all are rationally implausible - without useful evidence). Life is not a fairytale. I'm trying to become accustomed to look at life from a naturalistic perspective and find meaning by myself...

Yes, I am learning more and more that there are many people like us who want to forge our own path in search of our unique truth that answers our unique questions.

 

[WillEast]

Why need a path at all?

Back in college we were assigned an essay by a philosopher who argued that "being confused" and uncertain is THE correct and truthful way for we humans. We can never answer every question, so we can never feel secure. Religious dogmas have been successful because believers are willing to accept those dogmas as absolute when they are the farthest thing from absolute and certain. To accept dogma means self-deception, and that is not truth.

The real path for truth is self-awareness. The book and films* A Razor's Edge is a story of a man dissatisfied with status quo life in America and travels the world to find the truth. He traveled thinking the truth was out there in some book, in some place, out there to be found and consumed, but it turned out the truth was his experience in traveling, as he learned who he was.

Westerners learn to see truth as it is some garment we put on, and that we are saved as a result. But this cloak is just a shell for a hollow self that suffocates our spirit. Being uncomfortable is a sign that we are on the right path, and there is no way to know how long it will take. Truth is an honest journey, not some final destination.



* Fun fact, when Bill Murray agreed to act in Ghostbusters he made it contingent that the studio film a remake of A Razor's Edge in 1984. I think it was a sign of his future non-comedic roles, and he did an incredible job. And he still managed to be funny.

Wow! Powerful post. I will forever remember those statements from the philosopher about being confused. This is something I have to embrace rather than run from.

 

[Vinayaka]

Wow! Powerful post. I will forever remember those statements from the philosopher about being confused. This is something I have to embrace rather than run from.

Clarity comes out of confusion, or it is a motivating factor towards clarity.