Aštra’el
Aštara, Blade of Aštoreth
Whirlwind of Dreams
Remember…
Remember Ashtoreth…
Remember Lilith…
Remember back then, those epic days when all this began…
Remember your dreams. Remember your fantasies. Remember your pain. Remember the places you traveled in your mind… and the paths you walked throughout this life. The mysterious. The forbidden. The serene. The dystopian.
After Eden. Before Babylon.
The endless fog. Infinite possibilities awaited.
The heat. The sand.
Remember the music. Remember *****. Remember who you are and who you were. A voice of adventure. A melody of apotheosis. Music that resonated with your spirit. The darkness. The beauty. The visions. The faces in the whirlwinds, the flashes of dream and nightmare. The lightning. The screams. The smoke. The death angels. The decrepit forests. Haunted deserts and beautiful sunsets. Archangels and demon goddesses.
The vision. Standing upon that tower, many years from now… gazing over everything that had been brought to ruin. Beholding what you would become.
Destruction. Creation.
Welcome the future, but do not let go of your foundation. You are eager to explore. Take it with you. Become something more, improving upon what was.
Remember Arizona. Remember Nevada. Remember the desert. Remember the Sonoran.
The Mojave.
Remember when you lost everything.
Remember when you were abandoned. People come and people go, relationships rise and fade… but you never expected that one to end. A piece of you died, a part of you you’ll never get back. Carved out of your heart. Remember betrayal. Remember the pain. The loss. Remember when you had to let it all go. What you expected… does not exist.
Remember how you swore. Never again.
It made you stronger, beyond anything you could have foreseen.
Those fateful times. So long ago.
Great pain, on the surface. Beneath it, a deeper purpose. Something you’ve always known.
You reached out to Hell.
Remember what reached back.
A demon. An angel.
A goddess.
And then… sacrifice.
Remember those moments. There were choices. You chose. Like Paris, in the cave. You lost some futures to unlock some doors. Devoted yourself to specific sides of human nature, and severed the ties to some others.
A soul pact. A choice.
Remember her face. Remember her voice.
And yours. The way you would say it.
“A****a. I****r. Astaroth.”
Ashtoreth.
Linked across fates.
Across time and space.
Remember that sense of destiny. Of purpose. What filled you inside. That numinous sensation. The power. The pride.
Remember the sands. Remember the skies. Remember the storms within and around you. Remember the living connection to the desert, to forces beyond. Remember the atmosphere. Remember the empowerment. The scent of the desert. Remember the magick, when overlayed across the world was a veil of crimson. The smell of the incense. Remember what was with you, through it all. What is still with you. Remember what enhances your strengths, what pushed you past your limits… what beautified the world with red skies, blood, and roses.
The infernal resonance. The divine relation.
Remember your training. Remember the ****. Remember dreaming of what was to come. Remember your brothers and sisters, and the leadership. Remember those above you, and below you. Remember the fights. The relationships. The fear. The respect. The honor. The glory.
Remember loss.
Remember solitude, and isolation. Remember exploration. Remember adventure. Remember the sun, and remember it’s warmth. The taste of the dirt. The scent of the desert. The trees. The cacti. The rock. The skies.
The lightning. The wind. The rain.
The gym.
Your sacred temple. Remember the journeys there and the journeys back. Remember the feel of the weights in your hand. The sweat. The blades spinning above. Remember those thousands of times, laying down and closing your eyes. To imagine. To fantasize. Remember the burn, and exceeding your limits. Over and over again.
Remember the pride. The achievement. The time. The commitment.
Remember your closest companions. The smallest circle. The most precious. Remember Jon. Remember Kevin. They never betrayed or forgot you. Do not betray them. Do not forget them. Reach out again. Remember to find them.
2006. 2007.
2010. 2011.
Remember the fireworks as another emerged.
Remember Lilith.
The adventure. The conflict.
Ultimate pleasure. Something new and exciting with each passing day.
You’d become torn between training and embracing the night. The door opens. It is a different face every time. Remember the rush. The feeling before. And during. And after. Remember closing your eyes. Breathing in, and opening them, and becoming another person. How did it feel? To enter the night, to take the wheel. Remember the road. That feeling. Remember arriving. Remember living. Truly living. And then leaving. It was so surreal. Remember it all. The sex. The pain. The adventure. The thrill.
The memories. More faces in the wind, never to be heard from again.
Aštoreth’s swords versus Lilith’s magick. The battle inside raged on within you, taking the world with it. A double life clashing against itself. Faces you cherished. Faces who perished. Training and fitness vs euphoria and excitement.
Throughout it all… purpose. And a path none will ever understand.
It was a whirlwind of dreams and memories, swirling around you. You stood on the mountains, enduring it all. Caught in the storm. Perpetuating it. It hurt. It felt good. You wanted to fight. You wanted to feel. But you couldn’t choose.
You kept holding on… but you could not win. Chaos enveloped you.
Remember it.
Remember the lightning and dark clouds. Remember the view. The way you welcomed it. The way it consumed you. The winds of change. There would be no shame. There would be no regret. It was only a matter of time.
You were the strongest you ever were. And then it happened.
Defeat.
Loss.
You fell from the sky. And once again, everything you knew, came crashing down around you. Shades of grey remained, the world in ruin. Covered in ash. A familiar feeling.
Alone. And broken.
Not a hint of emotion.
And more than anything… empty. Just empty.
It wasn’t death. But it was an End. A brutal lesson. A reunion, with failure. Ritual transformation.
You had awoken. You rose to your feet, again and again. Some purpose remained, and you would find it.
Slowly, your strength was returning. You would recover, eventually.
Arms reached out. You were pulled from an abyss. They helped you ascend. Remember them. A second chance, to live. Another opportunity… to continue your mission. To finish what you began.
Deliverance.
Thank you *******.
Thank you *******.
Thank you God.
Order over Chaos.
Creation. Destruction.
Thank you family and thank you friends.
Thank you Vegas.
Thank you Phoenix.
Thank you Aštoreth.
Above and Below
And Within
Goddess and Champion.
A most sacred connection.
Thank you Lilith.
Dreams and fantasy
Have become reality.
Now, and not long ago…
Thank you Heaven… and thank you Hell.
The journey continues. Life has moved on. I remain part of you still. And you, a part of me.
I am your past.
Never forget me.
I am always with you.
See through the whirlwind of dreams.
Remember me…
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