Religious harassment in my local mall

[Jayhawker Soule]

A friend of our's commited suicide Saturday night. Sunday, we wore the shemaghs.

Long winded response, but you asked.

Thanks for the response. I am sorry about your friend.

So, is how old is this 'tradition' and what are its roots? Was this your first time expressing it in public? Have you been inspired or otherwise informed by others who share that tradition? I'm unaware of anything similar in "Buddhism, Sikhism, and Islam". I'm certainly unaware of anyone who might practice detachment by going to the mall.

 

[gnomon]

The above is a letter sent to Simon Malls regarding what happened to my friend and I this Sunday. Yes, this all happened, yes I wore the shemagh for a valid purpose. I do not consider myself to be highly religious (as discernable from my religion and title in my profile) but there were cultural and spiritual reasons for donning the scarf. I would appreicate it if people did not question my reasons as they are higly personal to my friend and I and our families. I just wanted people to be aware that things like this are all too common. It's not the first time my actions or attire were questioned, but it was the first time I was publicly called out and ostracized. I apologize if this post belongs elsewhere, this just seemed like a fitting place to put it.

I could care less about your scarf. The security guard did his job and did it correctly if all he did was ask you to remove it. The notion that religious attire is completely protected is foolish.

If you don't want people to question as to why you wore the garment than the only rational option you had was not to post the story.

The only thing from your story that even concerns me is the giggling employee. Such behavior is unacceptable in any retail environment.

I could also care less about the bag thing. Managing in a retail environment the last 15 years the dramatic rise in large bags into retail stores has become one of the most unnerving concepts to deal with as the economy has resulted in less payroll and more theft. If you could show that you and your friend were indeed the only ones who were singled out and it was strictly because of a protected religious belief it would be one thing. I know I've specifically walked up to people and told them they would have to leave their bag at the front or get out of the store and it's not discriminatory. It's because I watched them or had prior experience with that individual and the last person whose bag I just took after they walked away from it contained several hundred dollars of stolen merchandise and he's currently in the county jail facing six felony charges. So no, you can't claim blanket discrimination because within a very short period of time during store operations you felt you were the only one treated in a very specific manner. Not saying you were not singled out for the wrong reasons. But it's just your word on this forum.

Profiling is not against the law. Acting in a discriminatory manner against protected aspects as defined by law is far different than a security guard reacting to individuals with their face obscured. As well, you were not ostracized. Being s******ed at by a rude employee and an unproven assertion that you were the only one who was asked to leave a bag at the door is not being ostracized. It's called being inconvenienced.

Being ostracized is being born a little girl in certain parts of India in which you were given a name of Unwanted.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I would like to start by saying that I have scarcely had any issues in any of the many Simon malls I have been in, but today was different.

Per my religious and spiritual beliefs, today I wore a shemagh (traditional middle eastern head cover) to the mall in town. Within five minutes, I was stopped by a security guard. He informed me of a mall rule which prohibited the obscuring of faces. I accepted this, and moved my head covering, revealing my face, but left the scarf around my head. He proceeded to inform me that the wearing of such an item is not allowed. I explained my religious beliefs and we came to a compromise that I and my friend (also wearing a shemagh) would be allowed to wear our coverings as long as our faces were not obscured. The security guard was very understanding and accepting, if not a bit hesitant about letting us wear our scarves.

The situation escalated later. I went into FYE (I apologize if this should be handled by FYE isntead of Simon malls, but I couldn't find anywhere to contact FYE directly and I thought Simon malls should know this anyway) and was immediately harassed. My friend and I (still both wearing shemaghs) walked through the door and were greeted by an employee giggling and saying "Praise Allah" in a pejorative manner. I was highly offended, but shrugged it off as ignorance. I wasn't in any mood to make a scene in the middle of the mall. My friend and I each carry satchels. In these bags were kept religious items including meditative incense, prayer beads, and religious books. The employee (the same one who harassed us earlier) approached us and asked us to leave our bags at the counter. We immediately refused his request on the grounds that we would not part with items so sacred. He demanded we either leave the store or leave the bags at the counter until we left. I feel like a victim of religious profiling. I saw others in the store with bags that were not questioned, but my friend and I were asked to leave our bags at the counter by a man who had previously made an offensive remark about our faith.

It is not in my nature to demand any be punished, but it may be in your company's better interest to inform its employees that profiling and harassment is against the law. I assure you, the offensive actions of this employee will not prevent me from frequenting your malls, but if I experience another situation like this, I will not hesitate to file harassment charges. Thank you for your time.

Based on your description, I think the employees snickering and saying "praise Allah" were out of line, but I don't think there was anything wrong with asking you to unconceal your face or leave your bag at the counter.

If I was an employee of the store and I saw someone come in dressed as you described, my instinct wouldn't be to assume that it was a religious observance; I would assume that the person is up to something:

- a person with their face concealed may be planning to engage in criminal activity (e.g. shoplifting, or potentially an armed holdup).
- a person wearing an attention-getting outfit may be trying to distract security personnel away from an accomplice doing something somewhere else in the store.

Once these suspicions are raised, I think they would have been right to ask for you to surrender your bag. From their point of view, it could've contain weapons or tools; you could be planning to use it to stash shoplifted goods... I don't think it was out of line to single you out for special treatment. Your conduct would have raised several legitimate red flags.

But like I said, I think the ridicule was uncalled for and inappropriate.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

If you act strangely, people react at the extremes of the norm.
Face covering is very common around here and I have never seen a man covering his face when out shopping. To see it would come into the realms of the suspicious and would certainly attract the attention of the police.

It is usually better to act normaly in public, or expect to be questioned.

 

[sojourner]

I could care less about your scarf. The security guard did his job and did it correctly if all he did was ask you to remove it. The notion that religious attire is completely protected is foolish.

If you don't want people to question as to why you wore the garment than the only rational option you had was not to post the story.

The only thing from your story that even concerns me is the giggling employee. Such behavior is unacceptable in any retail environment.

I could also care less about the bag thing. Managing in a retail environment the last 15 years the dramatic rise in large bags into retail stores has become one of the most unnerving concepts to deal with as the economy has resulted in less payroll and more theft. If you could show that you and your friend were indeed the only ones who were singled out and it was strictly because of a protected religious belief it would be one thing. I know I've specifically walked up to people and told them they would have to leave their bag at the front or get out of the store and it's not discriminatory. It's because I watched them or had prior experience with that individual and the last person whose bag I just took after they walked away from it contained several hundred dollars of stolen merchandise and he's currently in the county jail facing six felony charges. So no, you can't claim blanket discrimination because within a very short period of time during store operations you felt you were the only one treated in a very specific manner. Not saying you were not singled out for the wrong reasons. But it's just your word on this forum.

Profiling is not against the law. Acting in a discriminatory manner against protected aspects as defined by law is far different than a security guard reacting to individuals with their face obscured. As well, you were not ostracized. Being s******ed at by a rude employee and an unproven assertion that you were the only one who was asked to leave a bag at the door is not being ostracized. It's called being inconvenienced.

Being ostracized is being born a little girl in certain parts of India in which you were given a name of Unwanted.

If it's all that spiritually important for you to wear the garment, then perhaps it's not particularly spiritually important for you to be out that day shopping. Just saying that life is full of choices and priorities. I don't make a habit of wearing a clerical collar to the bar, either...

 

[fantome profane]

I think what many people are saying in this thread is technically correct. The mall did have the right to ask you to reveal your face (and you complied), and the store did have the right to ask you to leave your bag. But obviously there is no justification for the mocking.


I think you did the right thing by writing the letter. I don’t think there is much more you could do. It may have a positive effect.

 

[gnomon]

If it's all that spiritually important for you to wear the garment, then perhaps it's not particularly spiritually important for you to be out that day shopping. Just saying that life is full of choices and priorities. I don't make a habit of wearing a clerical collar to the bar, either...

I think you quoted the wrong guy.

 

[A. T. Henderson]

Per my religious and spiritual beliefs, today I wore a shemagh...

Okay, I have to ask: what religious and spiritual beliefs require a "Secular Buddhist Humanist" to wear a shemagh, which is an item of cultural apparel not even mandatory for Muslims?

 

[sojourner]

I think you quoted the wrong guy.

I thought about that as soon as I hit the submit button. Actually, it was reading your post that gave me the idea, even though I was really responding to the OP.
Hope that clarifies!

BTW: Love the cat in your avatar!

 

[etherealascension]

Origins of this? Not entirely sure. It's not common. My uncle and my friend's aunt (how we know each other) both lived in India for some years where they learned this from a man there. IIRC the entire town all followed this. They moved back to America and continued this belief. They kept in contact with the guru they learned this from and he recently came to America which is what sparked out interest.

Maybe I think it's out of line to question the shemagh because I don't associate anything negative with it because I've been around it my whole life. When I see someone totally covered, I don't think much of it.

 

[etherealascension]

And I have myself listed as "secular buddhist humanist" because there's no title for my beliefs and I don't have enough character space to define it in detail. But secular buddhist humanist is the closest I can get.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

Maybe I think it's out of line to question the shemagh because I don't associate anything negative with it because I've been around it my whole life. When I see someone totally covered, I don't think much of it.

Why should what's in line or out of line be a function of your personal opinion? Based on an idiosyncratic 'tradition' you engaged in an abnormal public act and question being challenged. That strikes me as thoughtless in the extreme.

 

[beenie]

Snickering was wrong.
Asking you to surrender your bags and reveal your face was appropriate, IMO.

Still, you have every right to write a letter to the mall, and they have the right to ignore it (except for the mocking part). Sad, but true. Unfortunately, these are the times we live in.

 

[A. T. Henderson]

And I have myself listed as "secular buddhist humanist" because there's no title for my beliefs and I don't have enough character space to define it in detail. But secular buddhist humanist is the closest I can get.

Okay, so it's more of a tradition and culture thing than a religious obligation.

Anyway, as the other posters have said, it's perfectly understandable, and not entirely unreasonable, for both the mall and the shops therein to ask you to remove it from your face. The mockery is, of course, unacceptable, but still understandable: people are, after all, idiots.

The thing with the bags, well, I suppose that's a little paranoid, but again it's understandable and not entirely unreasonable. After all, you would appear to an outside observer to be making an overt and slightly confrontational religious statement. Most people associate the shemagh with Palestinian/Middle-Eastern resistance, because that's the context they most commonly see it in.

 

[gnomon]

And I have myself listed as "secular buddhist humanist" because there's no title for my beliefs and I don't have enough character space to define it in detail. But secular buddhist humanist is the closest I can get.

Origins of this? Not entirely sure. It's not common. My uncle and my friend's aunt (how we know each other) both lived in India for some years where they learned this from a man there. IIRC the entire town all followed this. They moved back to America and continued this belief. They kept in contact with the guru they learned this from and he recently came to America which is what sparked out interest.

Maybe I think it's out of line to question the shemagh because I don't associate anything negative with it because I've been around it my whole life. When I see someone totally covered, I don't think much of it.

The problem is that there is no reason for others to know why you wear the shemagh. Even if they did possess some understanding of other, more well known, beliefs that use such attire there is no way for them to know why you wear the attire. Making the assumption that they should not question it doesn't really convey respect.

There are a lot of people who regularly shop where I work who are adherents to different cultural beliefs from Muslim to Hindu to Sikh who wear various head dressing. None of them wear a veil. If you walked into my store wearing anything obscuring your face I would suddenly be right next to you, asking how you are doing and that, barring a health issue or some disfigurement you struggle with, to please reveal your face. Nor would I care as to any specific cultural reason why you were wearing it.

Because on my side there have been too many robberies of retailers at gunpoint over the last few years and every time the individuals covered their faces. It doesn't matter what the material was that they covered their faces with just the fact that they entered with their identities obscured.

 

[Antiochian]

Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, and Christians do not wear headcoverings (except Jews wearing a yarmulke).

Some Eastern Orthodox women cover their heads with scarves, though not their faces.

 

[Tamar]

Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, and Christians do not wear headcoverings (except Jews wearing a yarmulke).

Some Jewish women do wear head coverings once they are married. The mitzvah of Tzniut: dressing modestly and covering one's hair after marriage for observant Jewish women.

 

[Jainarayan]

True, though when I was Eastern Orthodox, it was only the bábushki who wore scarves. I think the practice is fading.

 

[Jainarayan]

Some Jewish women do wear head coverings once they are married.

That's true also. I should have qualified my comment by saying that the scarves and head coverings are not really much more than the kerchiefs women wore to cover their hair rollers when going shopping. Not to the extent of obscuring their features.

 

[etherealascension]

Maybe I'm just blowing it out of proportion based solely on the "Praise Allah" comment. I didn't have an issue with the security guard and I don't think I would have had as big an issue with leaving my bag by the counter if he didn't immediately mock us. I would have realized he singled us out for the bags anyway, but it would've been less of a big deal had he not made some idiotic comment.

EDIT: as soon as I explained the situation with security, he relaxed. He did still want us to reveal our faces, but I was willing to compromise since he actually took time to understand the situation. The guy at FYE just made a stupid comment and I wasn't willing to work with him. In retrospect, I could've been the bigger person and respected his request, but I was a bit heated at the time.