I was playing around with this picture a few years ago and I don't have the original file now, it's me 9 years ago:
My looks have changed since then. I managed to smile but I was kind of an unhappy person then. Perhaps the sickle and devil horns, offensive they may be, represent that. I had a tough early life that ended in a period of psychosis before I learned to take care of myself and not throw my life away on booze and other things which affect you.
I'm kind of genderless any more, trying to present feminine, but if you want a modern masculine picture for comparison, here it is:
When I came to RF two years ago, I didn't up play that I was still in the process of recovery from a sort of psychosis. Some I think knew. And some would have to have an idea because I think I've damaged a few friendships when my feelings get the best of me.
I prefer to mostly keep it private though and manage it in my private life. I have a psychiatrist. Another forum I was very open about it, and whenever I tried to joke around and be silly, they didn't get my humor and thought I was having another episode. Or sometimes in general I did say some odd things and people kind of forced me to see my psychiatrist more often to talk about it. But the fact is, it's getting better but I'm just not going to be 100% recovered overnight.
So I'm a bit more emotional than your average person, I jump to conclusions. But the doctors see me as actually in recovery from a temporary thing that happened. That being said, the way they treat this temporary thing is put you on medicine long term, 10 year, 20 years, or forever... because if they don't give you that medicine, they could risk your temporary problems becoming permanent, and they don't want to take that chance.
My early life was interesting though. I self taught myself an education through video games early on and ended up advanced intellectually, but I didn't understand anything so well but the intellectual side. My parents argued nonstop when I was a teen and nearly divorced. I was bullied at a job. And then when I got another job, it was a bit stressful, or I let it be so, and the buildup of everything and keeping things to myself and adding caffeine and booze to the mix, well, ended in a crash.
After I got kind of out of the crash and started to recover, a lot changed for me. I tried to think with my heart a little bit more and I was listening to inspirational songs all throughout my recovery.