Poems that Explain Why You Don't **** in the Ocean

[Brickjectivity]

Here's a fun poem by someone named Maggie Dietz obtained from the poetryfoundation.org, and here is the link
Why I Don’t **** in the Ocean by Maggie Dietz : The Poetry Foundation

Why I Don't **** in the Ocean


Once my sister told me that from her summit at the city
pool she could see the yellow billows spread like gas
or dreams between kids’ legs. In something the size of the sea,
you can’t be sure who’s watching from above. Let’s say
it’s the Almighty, twirling His whistle, ready to blow it
at any moment and let loose the bottomless Apocalypse:
the ocean would make bone of a body, coral of bone.
****, and a tiger-fish darts through a skull-hole, a weed
weaves itself through ribs. You, too, have seen
the bulbs flash from the sea. You, too, have felt
it breathing down your neck. You eat fish. You’ve heard
that mermaids sing. My dreams are as beleaguered as the next
Joe’s, my happiness as absurd, but I’m not going to go
**** in the ocean about it. No, not in the ocean.

 

[Revoltingest]

I've reasons why swimmers shan't **** in the sea.
It's not just disgusting to you and to me.
Gazillions live there,
and water's their "air".
They'd rather not breathe in your ersatz Chablis.

 

[savagewind]

I think I actually understand that poem.

 

[Brickjectivity]

and here's my attempt:

Why I Don't **** in the Ocean

I know that everything else does. One might say
the Earth is covered by pee. Turtles pee.
Birds do and all the fish in every sea.
The animals are very irresponsible and pee everywhere.
Somebody has to take responsibility, and that is me.

 

[savagewind]

Nice belly chuckle. Thanks!

 

[Shadow Wolf]

It was funny, but lets be realistic, alot of people take a huge collective **** and crap in the sea on a constant basis. But that's normal. It's the other stuff we put into the sea (including storm drain and farm drainage, nuclear waste, garbage), that should have us concerned.
But this
****, and a tiger-fish darts through a skull-hole, a weed
weaves itself through ribs.
Made me laugh. Even though it's not true. Though something I thought was funny, I first heard of the candiru on Metalacolypse, and when I went to find out if it's real or not, I found out yopo is real.

 

[Brickjectivity]

But that's normal. It's the other stuff we put into the sea (including storm drain and farm drainage, nuclear waste, garbage), that should have us concerned.

how I wish to meet one mother
to be there when they wake their heads
oily trolls mankind's slick brother
sleeping centuries in their beds

won't it be amazing to smell
the crush of worlds as we collide
resurrect the demons of hell
personally witness them in stride

and take their place to sleep beneath
the ocean depths and mounds of iron
our blood to feed the blackened wreath
that future species live their lie on

 

[Wirey]

Oh, ocean pee, a neener-neener,
I hope that Jaws bites off your wiener

 

[Brickjectivity]

if I were a snowman yellow
I'd be sold in stores as jello
If I were some ocean's pee
I would smell like Wirey
Were I made of Wirey's spam
I would taste somewhat like ham
and if I were to be a poet
this dam poem would surely blow it