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Please pray (or however you wish to approach it) for me?

Feathers in Hair

World's Tallest Hobbit
I'm having difficulty typing right now, and I'm sorry, since I try not to be bothered by earthly stuff. The neighbors upstairs last night began turning up their music around 10 pm last night. As usual when that happens, the bass was such that my mom's pictures (they have their music turned up in their bedroom, above hers) began to shake off the walls. We waited about 15 minutes, hoping that it would be turned down before my mom then called the non-emergency police number.

The neighbors politely said to the police that they would be more than happy to turn down the music (according to what the police said later). After the police had left the parking lot, however, they turned the music back up and then began stomping repeatedly on the floor. This continued for awhile, until my mom had to call the police again. The police met with us afterward, and discussed things. "Have you tried filing a complaint?" they asked. We actually have tried, repeatedly, but not only is is nearly impossible to figure out how (we have talked with several police officers over time, and each of them have a different explanation about how to go about filing one) but that the office states that they can't throw these neighbors out unless there's proof of drug use. The officers said that they'd seen boxes upstairs, and that it looked like the family was moving. Unfortunately, the family was supposed to have been moved out about a month ago. At any rate, the police left, and we thought all was well.

This morning, (ironically enough, as we were going up the hill to sign the lease that we're having to) we noticed my beloved van was leaning a little bit. My mom and I went around the van, counting three slashed tires and the oh-so-lovely marker on the side, stating 'B**ch.'

At first, I not only felt horrified about the situation, but also felt horrified since I'd done a protection spell on the van the evening before. I was questioning myself and feeling even more useless, until my mother pointed out that this is the male upstairs is the same one who has a history of smashing car windows in the parking lot. Maybe my spell was enough to at least protect the windows, which would have been much more difficult to replace.

The rental agreement says that we have the right to a calm and safe environment. However, I'm starting to feel like we're trapped because of our financial situation. It's as if the management agency (since the place turned to section 8 housing) expects us to behave badly because we have a low income.

I'm really too overcome by sadness about this to even feel the flickerings of anger yet. I guess I feel badly for the family upstairs that this is what they felt was appropriate retribution for having called the cops.

We're seeing if we can get the money together to get the van towed to a safer area. Then we can see if we can save toward some non-flat tires.

If anyone can think of some prayers, meditations or anything that would help, please let me know.
 

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
Feathers, I am with you in thought and in prayer; I wish I could be with you in person. I have tried to find some texts to comfort you, but I have so little to offer.
This is an all too common occurence, and perhaps it is a test of our faith; I will say some prayers for you; in the mean time, these may help;
Jesus said:-
"You have heard people say, 'Love your neighbors and hate your enemies.' But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you. Then you will be acting like your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:43-48).
Henry Suso (1295 - 1366 AD)
Lord, it may well be that suffering brings great good, provided that it is limited, and that it is not too dreadful and overwhelming. You alone know all things, seen and unseen, and you know the weight, the number and the size of things. So you know that my sufferings are without limit, that they are wholly beyond my power of endurance, that I am quite overwhelmed with pain. Lord, is there anyone in the world who suffers more constantly and more deeply than I? If you would just send me ordinary sufferings, I could bear them. But I do not see how I can endure such extraordinary sufferings as these -sufferings which so oppress my heart and soul that

Dharma : conformity to one's duty and nature

Meditation in Affliction

Assailed by afflictions, we discover Dharma
And find the way to liberation. Thank you, evil forces!

When sorrows invade the mind, we discover Dharma
And find lasting happiness. Thank you, sorrows!

Through harm caused by spirits we discover Dharma
And find fearlessness. Thank you, ghosts and demons!

Through people's hate we discover Dharma
And find benefits and happiness. Thank you, those who hate us!

Through cruel adversity, we discover Dharma
And find the unchanging way. Thank you, adversity!

Through being impelled to by others, we discover Dharma
And find the essential meaning. Thank you, all who drive us on!

We dedicate our merit to you all, to repay your kindness.
--Gyalwa Longchenpa


:( *Hugs* Michel
 

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
By sheer coincidence, Martha posted this for Jensa to help a friend of hers; I thought it might well be 'a propos' your predicament


Persistence and Hope, The Dalai Lama

"Think, think, think. Do not be discouraged. It would be very foolish to give up now. On those occasions when you feel most hopeless, you must make a powerful effort. It is important to meet adversity with a positive attitude. Keep this in mind: By greeting trouble with optimism and hope, you are undermining worse troubles down the line. Beyond that, imagine that you are easing the burden of everyone suffering problems of that kind. This practice- imagining that by accepting your pain you are using up the negative karma of everyone destined to feel such pain- is very helpful.
Under no circumstances should you lose hope. Remember, you can overcome any problem. Be calm, even when the external environment is confused or complicated; it will have little effect if your mind is at peace.
Our adversaries provide us some of the best opportunities to practice patience, tolerance, and compassion. In order to practice compassion, you should have an adversary. When you face your adversary who is going to hurt you, that is the real time to practice tolerance. Once something has the relationship of arising from that thing, one cannot consider that thing from which it arised, as a harmer,rather it assists the production of the effect. Reflection on this type of reasoning can help develop great patience, which in turn develops powerful compassion. Real compassion is based on reason. Ordinary compassion or love is limited by desire or attachment.":)
 

robtex

Veteran Member
Feathersinhair first off I am really sorry and if I lived closer to you I would give you abig hug.

You must do three things at this point:

1) to go the police and press charges. For vandalism and the threats (calling you a ***** can be a threat make them see it that way). Plus any verbal discussions you have had with them are threats. Not a complaint a charge.

2) Go to all your neigbors and get them to write letters asking for their expolsion.

3) when you gather all the letters go to the managers office and demand their immediate (not 30 day) eviction. they will not evict them immediatly because it is against the law but using that word makes them negociatate to a time frame that is closer to now than what they would have offered.

4) If the apartment complex does not agree on the eviction realize they are liable and make sure they realize that too and sue them. May sound mean but you are recieveng property damage and this has been going on since last last year when u first posted it.. at this point they should have long gone.

5) every time they speak to you and you detect any threat another police report...get your neigbors to colloborate and witness to come forward....build a case and dont let the cops give you the run around. Those guys know how to file complaints and they also know you can file charges and if they are giving you a song and dance they are avoiding the issue..don' t be confrontational with them but be firm...find out how to file a complaint and a charge by online research and asking the operator about filing complaints and make sure the officers know you know how the system works .

I am really sorry sweetie....if i was over there i would cracking skulls right about now for you....
 

johnnys4life

Pro-life Mommy
Hmm...well I think what I did when that happened to me was turn my music up even louder and start a war. But you may not have my meanstreak, and these people sound more dangerous than my old nieghbors... At any rate if these people are slashing your tires and vandalizing your property that IS a crime and if you can get any proof that it was them I would probably take them to court, but I'm not sure if that would just make things worse in the long run or not.

This is a toughie, you know...another approach may be just to treat them extra nice, like bake cookies and leave them on their doorstep with a note "I know it was you who vandalized my car, but I forgive you." That would show that you were being a better person than them and make them feel GUILT, hopefully! Sorry if I'm not much help. I'll pray for you and them. I've been in similar situations, in my old apartment building we had a community laundry room and certain sickos kept stealing my underwear out of the dryer whenever I left, so I just had to sit there and watch the dryer the entire time, it stinks but I kinda know how you feel.

*hugs*!!!
 

Feathers in Hair

World's Tallest Hobbit
Thank you guys so much for your wisdom, caring and advice!

I'm trying to remember my favorite story of the Buddha. He was teaching in a town, and a man began hurling abuse at him. He calmly ignored that man, until the crowds could no longer hear because of the man. He turned to the man and asked "If you have a piece of paper, and you try to give it to me, but I do not accept it, what would happen?"
"I would still have the paper," the man replied.
"Thus, I choose not to accept your anger," said the Buddha. (Hopefully, I'm not remembering the story too far from the actual legend. I have a bad habit of doing that.)

On a more practical note, does anyone know of any way to get permanant marker off of cars? They didn't even spell it right...
 

robtex

Veteran Member
Leave the marker on the car and photograph it..it is evidence. After a crime report has been filed you can take the word off your van.
 

Jaymes

The cake is a lie
Feathers, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. :( I can't imagine why anyone would do something like that to someone as sweet as you. I'll be praying for things to work out for the best.
 

Druidus

Keeper of the Grove
That is horrible! :mad:

In such a situation where options are so limited, you must feel very helpless... I feel so sorry for what you have to go through with your neighbors. At least you are moving soon, right?

DId you get the police to check the van for evidence they could use against the neighbors? The only thing I can reccomend is to continue holding up, and if they give any concrete evidence that you could use in court, do not back down. Bring them in, and let them deal with justice.

By the way, I love the story about Buddha. I must now go and find it... :D
 
A

angellous_evangellous

Guest
Feathers,
I will pray for you as well. Robtex's advice is very good - you should press charges (you can actually press chages for the writing and the tires and sue for damages) and request their immediate eviction, and if your complex won't work with you, find another place to live if possible.

Blessings,
Angellous
 

Feathers in Hair

World's Tallest Hobbit
The sad thing is, though, we don't know for sure who did it. We only have a strong suspiscion. And, unfortunately, since it's section eight housing, then the complex pretends they don't have the right to evict them. (There's a surplus of apartments in the area, so the management wants to keep any tenants it has.) We're in the process of looking for another place to live, but this is the only thing we can afford in the area. That's why I'm interested in saving up for a house, but I know that's a long way away.

Thanks again for the sympathy and the advice!
 

robtex

Veteran Member
FeathersinHair said:
The sad thing is, though, we don't know for sure who did it. We only have a strong suspiscion. And, unfortunately, since it's section eight housing, then the complex pretends they don't have the right to evict them. (There's a surplus of apartments in the area, so the management wants to keep any tenants it has.) We're in the process of looking for another place to live, but this is the only thing we can afford in the area. That's why I'm interested in saving up for a house, but I know that's a long way away.
Thanks again for the sympathy and the advice!
That is the wrong angle. The choice is not keep the tenent or lose the tenent the choice is keep that tenet and risk losing many tenents or lose that tenet only. Go to your neigbors, whom I am sure that they have annoyed and get them to write out letters or visit management with you. Photograph you van show and show that plus the police reports to the management....see if you can find a lawyer who will work on taking a percentage of your winnings and sue the complex. Sounds mean but you brought this to their attention three months ago, I remember you posted it here, and they blew it off...now you have hundreds of dollars worth of damage and they are liable. If you can find a lawyer like that sue the complex ..but only if you find another apartment.

Everything you do here is documented. Conversations you have with management and police officers.. When talking to an officer look at this badge and memorize his badge number. They are usually no longer than four digit numbers in rural areas. Dont write his/her badge number down in front of them......they have played this game longer than you and it will cause more tension.

Document everything you do and use the help of your neigbors.
 

linwood

Well-Known Member
On a more practical note, does anyone know of any way to get permanant marker off of cars? They didn't even spell it right...

Try some nail polish remover.

I don`t know if it will work but I use it to get perm marker of erasable boards.
It will probably take off a layer or so of paint but thats all I can think of.

I`m with Robtex on this one Feathers.
Sometimes we can be so tolerant we cause oursleves harm honey.

Think about it.
 

Feathers in Hair

World's Tallest Hobbit
You sound like you know your stuff, Robtex. I really hope nothing similar has happened to cause that knowledge, but it's very beneficial to me. We've already filed a police report, and will be getting back to them to see what they find. Photographing the damage was easy, too, since we had had to get an instant camera a week ago, in order to document the damage that other neighbors were doing to the hallways.

Unfortunately, it looks like we won't be able to have it towed tonight to a safer area. Since it's a van, I might be able to take a book out to the car and stay awake to be sure there's no more trouble, since windows are probably the next target, and they're even more expensive. Of course, if someone's gonna try to attack a window, I'm not sure if I'd be safe in being there, but maybe I'm worrying needlessly.
 

Scuba Pete

Le plongeur avec attitude...
Feathers.

DEMAND that a police officer dust for prints on your van. It's very possible that they leaned up against the van as they slashed the tires. DEMAND that a police officer follow up on this. Go to court and get a restraining order. The restraining order will FORCE them to move. Be afraid for your life and don't let the judge or police convince you otherwise.

Cyber hugs coming your way, and I will pray and fast over this.
 

robtex

Veteran Member
FeathersinHair said:
You sound like you know your stuff, Robtex. I really hope nothing similar has happened to cause that knowledge, but it's very beneficial to me. We've already filed a police report, and will be getting back to them to see what they find. Photographing the damage was easy, too, since we had had to get an instant camera a week ago, in order to document the damage that other neighbors were doing to the hallways.

Unfortunately, it looks like we won't be able to have it towed tonight to a safer area. Since it's a van, I might be able to take a book out to the car and stay awake to be sure there's no more trouble, since windows are probably the next target, and they're even more expensive. Of course, if someone's gonna try to attack a window, I'm not sure if I'd be safe in being there, but maybe I'm worrying needlessly.
No personal experience I have never had a roommate or neighbor problem in my life. But I did work for the probation dept for three years and I made alot of cop friends from studying martial arts for as long as plus I made a ton of lawyer friends while at the probation dept. Between the three I may know alot about the legal system for a layman.

The more you involve the police the more you make it a legal issue. The marker they wrote on your van is proabalby in that apt. I hope they break your apt window because it is not your window..it is the complexes window. That would force some action. But document everything and realize you have a crime scene. call it and get copies for the crime reports.....Most police officers are great guys. It takes a caring personality to do what they do...they just have to understand what is happening....if you tell them as much as you have told us I bet you will get a pretty cooperative attitude. Just take your time, document everything including names of people you talk to and call around to lawyers see if some are willing to work for a percentage of teh winnings...Keep that part to yourself though...don't tell anyone about the lawyers because if it flies the defendant won't be your broke neigbors but the complex which makes you a liablity. Be strategic....been percise and be selective in what you do and who you talk to and what you say to them...if you decide to lawyer shop that is a secret and only you need to know.....very important on that.
 
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