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People suffering with depression wish you would stop saying certain things

Discussion in 'Health & Healing' started by Geoff-Allen, Sep 28, 2020.

  1. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Greetings all

    I found this site by accident just now in my wanderings through cyberspace -

    Unless you live with it, you couldn’t possibly understand. I’m talking about people who suffer from depression, you know.

    This is my pitiful attempt at introducing depression. Depression is paralyzing. It can transform a perfectly sunny day into a dark pit of despair. For those who suffer, it can seem almost impossible to escape this pit, and we need all the support we can get. I fight this battle as well.

    People fail to look outside their own perceptions. Unfortunately, what works for some people in certain situations, doesn’t always work for others. Those who do not suffer from depression, just cannot understand how it feels.

    14 Things People Who Suffer from Depression Wish You Would Stop Saying to Them - Learning Mind

    All the best!
     
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  2. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    Hi mate,
    Read through the points, and wanted to thank-you for sharing.

    There were a couple I was a little unsure about though.
    1. You need to seek help - Whilst I get that it's not appropriate to throw this one at people without context, I think it can be VERY important to say to someone who is undiagnosed, or otherwise trying to cope on their own. Even more important can be asking someone if they're okay with you helping them to organise help, or providing transport, or...well...basically anything that gets them past the point of thinking their only option is to 'gut it out'.

    2. Are you on your meds? - I'd never say that one. My wife is a mental health care professional, though, and there is a history of bipolar and depression in her family. Particularly for her younger cousin, who is recently diagnosed, keeping him diligent or at least honest around whether he's taking his meds, what impact they are having, and whether he's communicating that back to his doctor is (unfortunately) important, and a level of support and accountability he doesn't receive from his immediate family.

    Not to denigrate any of the important points made in the article, just adding my own thoughts based on personal experience (from a non-sufferer of depression).

    Take care!!
     
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  3. Hockeycowboy

    Hockeycowboy Well-Known Member
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    Here’s three things you CAN say:

    “I care about you.”

    “I’m here to help in any way.”

    “Is there something I can do?”

    Word of advice....you better mean it.
     
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  4. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Rival's Wife

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    Number 7, about meds, needs to consider context and what is going on. During psychotropic medications treatment, it is best to have some loved ones or a good friend help monitor your state.
    I take a very strong objection to 13. If you have serious concerns someone may be contemplating suicide then simply asking and being available to listen and talk can save a life. If someone is displaying warning signs, NEVER be afraid to ask. Amd be direct when you ask (no beating around the bush) amd NEVER word it in a negative or accusative way such as "you're not planning on doing anything stupid, are you?" It is definitely better to be safe than sorry.
    Other than those it's a very good article. There are indeed many irksome things people say to those with depression. "Snap out of it" and "whats bothering you" are two I'm not fond of, because there is no snapping out of when your brain chemicals are out whack, which also means due to a chemical balance you dont necessarily need to have something specifically bothering you like someone with a case of the blues.
     
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  5. oldbadger

    oldbadger Skanky Old Mongrel!

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    Hi Geoff ....
    Please tell us....... How often do you go in to depression?
    Are you mostly in depression or out of it?

    Just asking...... :)
     
  6. Heyo

    Heyo Well-Known Member

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    15: I know how you feel. I know others with depression well / I'm a mental health professional.
    You don't. Depression is a spectrum and every case is different.
     
  7. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Thanks for your concern - I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia but I know quite a few depressed souls and that is why I posted.

    I get angry rather than depressed but I can understand anyone being depressed at the state of the world - it's amazing any of us are sane! :)

    Here's another site about depression & all aspects of mental health -

    Depression Home Page - HelpGuide.org

    Cheers!
     
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  8. oldbadger

    oldbadger Skanky Old Mongrel!

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    Thank you very much for the above, Geoff... :)
     
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  9. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Glad to be of service!

    Enjoy your day.

    :)
     
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