My daughter's teacher is getting married...

[Watchmen]

My third-grade daughter came home today and told us that her teacher (a woman) announced that she is marrying her roommate (another woman). The teacher told the class that people of the same gender can love each other and that a few months ago the Court made it legal for same gender couples to get married.

While I don't oppose gay marriage, it came as a bit of a surprise. We already knew the teacher was gay. But it was also a teaching opportunity. My daughter's reaction was "it's weird!" But we were able to discuss what we believe and what other's believe and how everyone has the freedom to make choices and we shouldn't limit other people's choices just because of what we believe.

 

[herushura]

And let them get married, the laws in american are absolutlely ridicolous to me

 

[Watchmen]

And let them get married, the laws in american are absolutlely ridicolous to me

I believe I said they are getting married. We live in a state that recognizes gay marriage.

 

[herushura]

I believe I said they are getting married. We live in a state that recognizes gay marriage.

So whats the Problem

 

[The Voice of Reason]

An excellent way to approach the situation, DisneyMan. Using it to teach your daughter that not everyone she meets in life will share her (or your) values and point of view is the best way to help her understand what is happening.

To do so without being judgemental, is a lesson that your daughter will benefit from for the rest of her life.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

So whats the Problem

There was a problem? I didn't see one in the OP.

 

[The Voice of Reason]

So whats the Problem

I don't think Disney is saying there is a problem.

I think he is simply relating the situation to us, and how he is addressing it within his family.

 

[Charity]

I only see one problem, I don't think a third grade class is an appropriate place for anyone to bring up this type of subject. She should have said I'm getting married and let it go at that. It would be the same as someone saying they are getting married and saying, I'm marrying a man because it is the only moral thing I can do. Then that would be unfair to someone who had parents that were same sex.
I agree it was handled well at home, as each parent should have the right to discuss this as to their convictions and not have it discussed in the classroom...No prayer, no bible teaching, no personal convictions from the teacher one way or the other.

However I do congratulate the teacher and her partner.......

 

[The Voice of Reason]

Charity -

If the teacher made the announcement that she was getting married, I think it would be only natural for the kids in the class to ask "to whom"?

I don't know that that is how it unfolded, but it is possible that the teacher was answering a question about her partner, rather than simply throwing it out there for the third graders to digest.

 

[Charity]

Charity -

If the teacher made the announcement that she was getting married, I think it would be only natural for the kids in the class to ask "to whom"?

I don't know that that is how it unfolded, but it is possible that the teacher was answering a question about her partner, rather than simply throwing it out there for the third graders to digest.

You may be right, but with third graders, I doubt that there would be of that much interest......Sorry, but I just think we need to be consistent, and fair to everyone and letting the parents talk with their own children is only fair....

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I only see one problem, I don't think a third grade class is an appropriate place for anyone to bring up this type of subject. She should have said I'm getting married and let it go at that. It would be the same as someone saying they are getting married and saying, I'm marrying a man because it is the only moral thing I can do. Then that would be unfair to someone who had parents that were same sex.

I don't think that's a fair parallel. Here's what I think would be:

The teacher I had for grade 6, my sister later had for grade 5. It was then that she announced she'd be getting married and that after the wedding, the students should call her by her married name instead of her maiden name. Beyond the fact that I was happy for my former teacher, I thought that this was a non-issue. Similarily, I think that in a perfect world, a grade 3 teacher telling her class that she's getting married - to a woman or to a man - should also be a non-issue.

 

[Charity]

I think as a mother my concern would be as to how mature the child was and were they capable of understanding what they were told? I think that should be up to the parent in that situation and not the teacher's discretion.....

 

[Charity]

I don't think that's a fair parallel. Here's what I think would be:

The teacher I had for grade 6, my sister later had for grade 5. It was then that she announced she'd be getting married and that after the wedding, the students should call her by her married name instead of her maiden name. Beyond the fact that I was happy for my former teacher, I thought that this was a non-issue. Similarily, I think that in a perfect world, a grade 3 teacher telling her class that she's getting married - to a woman or to a man - should also be a non-issue.

It's not an issue for me, but I could see where it would be for many...Just as if someone was making a class say a prayer, this would be the same for a lot of people who do not accept this lifestyle....That is my point.....Sorry....but I stand on what I feel......

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I think as a mother my concern would be as to how mature the child was and were they capable of understanding what they were told? I think that should be up to the parent in that situation and not the teacher's discretion.....

...to allow the child to become aware that same-sex couples actually exist, and that homosexual people can be normal, upstanding members of the community?

Reality's going to catch up with children eventually; it's not a teacher's job to go out of their way to hide it from kids just because their parents don't like it.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

It's not an issue for me, but I could see where it would be for many...Just as if someone was making a class say a prayer, this would be the same for a lot of people who do not accept this lifestyle....That is my point.....Sorry....but I stand on what I feel......

If some of the parents don't believe in marriage at all, should we force teachers to remove their wedding bands?

The fact that a teacher is married is not something that needs to be a point of shame or something to be hidden... whether the teacher is married to someone of the same sex or the opposite sex.

 

[Charity]

If some of the parents don't believe in marriage at all, should we force teachers to remove their wedding bands?

The fact that a teacher is married is not something that needs to be a point of shame or something to be hidden... whether the teacher is married to someone of the same sex or the opposite sex.

I think that were talking 2 entirely different things here Penguin....I just think that parents should be the ones to judge when they think a child is capable of understanding what is being told them....Not the teacher, not the Principal, not the school board, not the dang president of the US but their parents should be the ones to decide when they want their child taught about things.....I hardly think removing wedding bands would be a determining factor....

 

[Alceste]

As far as questions of whether 8 year olds have the "maturity" to deal with same sex marriage, it's only fair to consider whether you would be just as concerned whether or not the kids could cope with opposite sex marriage. Since I see kids at weddings all the time having a blast I can only assume there are not too many people out there worrying about whether they can handle it.

IMO, the additional worry people feel is justified when it comes to same sex marriage is due to a mainstream inability to separate the concept of same sex relationships from our deeper libidic feelings (ranging from intrigue to revulsion) about the intimate details of their sex lives, which are fated to attract our constant attention due to the sexual taboos we picked up when we were children. Ie. the more you were taught that homosexuality is deviant sexual behavior as a child, the more difficult it will be for you to stop thinking about it as an adult. Fred Phelps and family are a perfect example of this phenomenon carried over into the extreme.

Disneyman's handling of the situation with his daughter is likely to save her from such a fate.

If we can see an opposite sex couple as a child-friendly partnership without undue concern about their sexual relationship, we should be able to see opposite couples that way too, or be able to work towards it.

Let's face it, as far as sex is concerned, kids at that age are often still at the "pee in the bellybutton" level of sexual comprehension. It's not likely two women or two men getting married is going to be any wilder or more confusing than the nonsense their imaginations already come up with.

 

[Charity]

Well since we aren't in a debate section, I have said what I felt as a parent who knows my child better than anyone else. Peace be unto all, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and how they raise their children.

 

[DallasApple]

Also we dont know how the conversation went..

Why do we "assume" the teacher said "Im gettign married..to a woman ..and two people of the same sex can love each other"...

What if the teacher said..Im getting marrried...And a student said YAY..whats' his" name?

And thats how the conversation unfolded...Because children will ask questions...And thats why she had to "explain" to the children that two women can love each other..If she referred to her future spouse as a "she" and gave them a womans name..

Also..teachers in a good relationship with the children talk about their spouses.."My husband is in Iraq"..."My husband is a fireman".and HE...this and that...

I think the exposure is good..To know an IRL person who they respect and look up to that is "normal" is gay....

It eleminates some of the risk as an adult having any "fear factors" towards homsexuals if our children meet them and know them in situations that are positive..

Love

Dallas

 

[Heneni]

Im rather sceptic about the teachers approach to announcing her marriage. That in my opinion, does not constitute a good lesson plan. There is a cirriculum...designed by people who know education (hopefully), and id require the teacher to stick to it. She could have used another example if she had to, and if it was within the boundaries of the cirriculum...but making this announcement in class could have been more like using it as a platform, and i wouldnt think that a third-grade class was the appropriate place to set up a platform for gay rights. Maybe that was not her intention..and maybe that is not what she did. It is legal to get drunk, should a teacher then tell the kids...im getting drunk tonight?


heneni