Monogamy VS Non-Monogamy

[Terese]

Here is a video containing information about which type could be better. Spoiler alert...it's up to the person

What are your preferences? Do you like Monogamy better or Non-Monogamy? Why do you think Monogamy/Non-Monogamy is better? Do you have certain biases based on moral, religious or personal reasons? What do you think of Polygamy and Open relationships?

When i mean Non-Monogamy, i mean two people consenting to have more than one partner. It could either be those who are Polygamous or participate in Open Relationships.

 

[Grandliseur]

Here is a video containing information about which type could be better. Spoiler alert...it's up to the person

What are your preferences? Do you like Monogamy better or Non-Monogamy? Why do you think Monogamy/Non-Monogamy is better? Do you have certain biases based on moral, religious or personal reasons? What do you think of Polygamy and Open relationships?

When i mean Non-Monogamy, i mean two people consenting to have more than one partner. It could either be those who are Polygamous or participate in Open Relationships.

A very difficult subject.

When I lived in Africa, I heard about some who had more than one wife. Each wife had to have the same as the other, a house perhaps, etc. The economical ramifications of this is enough to drive anyone sane insane. My wife and I had three sons. More than enough children for me. No more, thank you. Rather have a dog than a baby.

So, while sex is something most enjoy, the logistics of sex must not be forgotten. Some think that Europe whose rules on marriage stems from way back was monogamous; however, cheating, or having someone on the side, has never been abandoned. Adultery may be condemned at the Pulpit, but it has never gone out of style.

Some may think that the Bible only permits one wife per husband, but the truth of it is that the teaching is that those who had more than one wife could not become elders (Bishops) or ministerial servants. Thus, according to that rule, I could marry more than one wife and just be a nominal member of the church.

I want to add that in today's societies where anything goes, the rules on monogamy are idiotic and should be abandoned. I could have sex with as many women, men, dogs, and animals as I like in today's world though the police might get me for animal cruelty on the latter part. I guess it is OK to be cruel to women and men though?!

 

[William Milverton]

God is love
When two people fall in love - the real, genuine thing - that love is God
They create their own religion

For the relationship to work, long term, you must commit yourself to love,
not to the person
You must commit yourself to love with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, for all your life
And the other person is the vehicle through which you demonstrate your commitment to that love

Your first loyalty is to the love between you
Love of your children comes second
True mothering is love of all children, and love of your own children should form part of that

Whenever any two people of any sex, age, race or religion create genuine love between them
they are then under the protection of that love, which is God
Christian pharisees are stupid to attack that love (God) based on their interpretation of words on a page in the bible

Any number in a group may commit themselves to love each other with all their heart, with all their soul, with all their strength, and with all their mind, for all their life
That is holy marriage. It is inviolable and may not be disrupted without severe consequences

Anything less than that total level of commitment is not holy marriage.
It is a civil legal arrangement
even if it took place in a Church
It may or may not last
It may or may not become love

 

[Enoch07]

Here is a video containing information about which type could be better. Spoiler alert...it's up to the person

What are your preferences? Do you like Monogamy better or Non-Monogamy? Why do you think Monogamy/Non-Monogamy is better? Do you have certain biases based on moral, religious or personal reasons? What do you think of Polygamy and Open relationships?

When i mean Non-Monogamy, i mean two people consenting to have more than one partner. It could either be those who are Polygamous or participate in Open Relationships.

I'll take my religious views out of the equation for my answer. What other consenting adults do in their own bedroom is their own business, not anyone else's.

I prefer monogamy. Solely because it's hard to love even 1 person nowadays. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have to meet the wants and needs of multiple people all at the same time.

Now I have had open relationships in the past where I was dating someone and it wasn't serious and we both saw other people. But even then at a certain point I will ask for it to move to a monogamous relationship.

It sucks because I did fall for a polyamorous girl once. I just couldn't stand the thought of having others involved. So instead of pursuing her and making a glorious fool of myself. I just had to let her go, and let her be herself. Because I knew I would try to change her, and it would probably not end well.

Anyways that's probably TMI. But that's my thoughts on it.

 

[danieldemol]

In the Baha’i faith we practice monogamy. So far it has been working out for me

 

[Frater Sisyphus]

Depends. Firstly, I don't believe there is anything morally wrong with having more than one sexual partners......on a moral level. *
But when it comes to marriage, polygamy is more than not: quite troublesome in several areas.

Other than that, I don't know what else there is to say. Adults are free to make their life decisions, not that they always make them. Even sometimes getting married to a single person is a bad decision at that point in life!



(*though most people don't even have that luxury)

 

[Buddha Dharma]

The only context I can think of where polyamory might be unideal, and this is because I'm a polytheist- is if one's god(s) oppose it on principle, like Hera (Vedic: Indrani). Understand, I mean if Hera is one's patron deity, she'd likely expect monogamy in her devotees. One always wants to be agreeable with their patron deity.

 

[Sunstone]

According to more than one study, polygamy often enough leads to the creation of an underclass of males who cannot find partners because richer and more established males at the top of the socioeconomic pyramid are more or less hording all the females. That in turn tends to create all sorts of social ills.

Also a study has found that women in polygamous societies tend to marry earlier, sustain more domestic violence, and die younger.

Because of all that and more, I'm not much in favor of polygamy even though I usually take a "whatever consenting adults chose to do" approach to these things.

On the other hand, I think open relationships are fine. Polygamous relationships are closed, though.

 

[Terese]

According to several studies, polygamy often enough leads to the creation of an underclass of males who cannot find partners because richer and more established males at the top of the socioeconomic pyramid are more or less hording all the females. That in turn tends to create all sorts of social ills. Because of that, I'm not much in favor of polygamy even though I usually take a "whatever consenting adults chose to do" approach to these things.

On the other hand, I think open relationships are fine. Polygamous relationships are closed, though.

That's a very interesting study! Do you think monogamy and open relationships helps diminish this "underclass" of males?

 

[Sunstone]

That's a very interesting study! Do you think monogamy and open relationships helps diminish this "underclass" of males?

More than one study.

Monogamy does not have such an underclass associated with it.

 

[Liu]

Well, I'm ace/aro, so for me it's probably neither anyway and I can't really speak from personal experience, but I'd agree that it very much depends on the people in question what works best for them.

I would welcome an increase in polyamourous/open relationships as I have the impression that if people would consider this more of an option there might be less drama in regards to love affairs because one could then ask one's partner beforehand whether they mind it or not.
As it is now, people normally are certain that it would be a no-go without even asking and therefore cheat secretly instead of discussing it openly with their partner.
Love triangles are nearly always portrayed as difficult and unstable situations in the media, and that is rather sad as it conveys a negative image on open/poly relationships of any kind.

In regards to marriage, there would be some legal issues. Civil marriage comes with certain tax benefits and other legal rights and duties. How to handle that when there are more than 2 people involved?