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Love is simple, but it's sometimes seen as or made complex

dybmh

דניאל יוסף בן מאיר הירש
Is any love ever based on reality, though? Who really knows anybody? And we change all the time...

I vote: yes. The simplest love is a young child loving their parent. It is 100% reality based. There is a lot the child doesn't know about their parent, but that does not undermine the love they have for them.
 

Link

Veteran Member
Premium Member
I vote: yes. The simplest love is a young child loving their parent. It is 100% reality based. There is a lot the child doesn't know about their parent, but that does not undermine the love they have for them.
I agree with you and her, and think you guys are just changing the semantics. The child is taking a leap of faith to who their parents are. They may grow older and find out their parents are not the good people they thought them to be. However, the actions they receive from their parents out of love is very real and they can detect love of their parents.

Also, parent love is so strong that Quran always emphasizes "yes do good for your parents, but do not let it make you associate with God in worship..." (Paraphrasing) and while it's okay to say "aufan" (a kind of light condemnation) to people who disbelieve or are evil, the Quran prohibits it with parents.

Even if parents are disbelievers, you can never go top down and condemn them. Never ever. And they still authority over you except things involving the path towards God. So if they say go get that or this, you listen. They remain authorities over you in this sense. The authorities Quran says not to take family as if they love disbelief over faith is towards the truth and moral guidance. However, it's only one type of Welayat you can't do with them. The rest are Quran emphasizes to do including obedience to parents where as you don't disobey God. If they disbelieve, you still are to be a good companion and pray for them.

And that's another thing Ibrahim (a) a Prophet didn't pray for his people the way he prayed for his father. The Quran shows he remained attached to his father till his father (uncle who raised him) died, and only then did he see he is a enemy of God and that is not changeable. Before that he would pray for him often.
 
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JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
I vote: yes. The simplest love is a young child loving their parent. It is 100% reality based. There is a lot the child doesn't know about their parent, but that does not undermine the love they have for them.
What's reality, then? I won't argue that that love is very real, but if love is based in reality, but the child isn't capable of comprehending reality at that point.
 

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
I wonder, too, what's people's opinions are on love at first sight. The popular opinion seems to be its only lust at first sight, but we're diverse here. Anyone have any other thoughts on this?
 

Link

Veteran Member
Premium Member
I wonder, too, what's people's opinions are on love at first sight. The popular opinion seems to be its only lust at first sight, but we're diverse here. Anyone have any other thoughts on this?
Love has levels and different forms on the four categories I mentioned. It's a very emotional attached to looks/body/face percentage over other dynamics, it's still "love". Just not a very meaningful one but all meaningful ones in terms of romance start from somewhere right?
 

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
Love has levels and different forms on the four categories I mentioned. It's a very emotional attached to looks/body/face percentage over other dynamics, it's still "love". Just not a very meaningful one but all meaningful ones in terms of romance start from somewhere right?
Do you think it always has to be about looks, though?
 

Link

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Do you think it always has to be about looks, though?
No, it can be first impression you get from how they act. How they talk. I was talking about love in first sight from looks perspective, but you are right. First impression can be more than that.
 

dybmh

דניאל יוסף בן מאיר הירש
What's reality, then? I won't argue that that love is very real, but if love is based in reality, but the child isn't capable of comprehending reality at that point.

The reality for the child is that their parent provides for them, is responsible for them, and is connected to them in a way which is different and more significant than the other children who are not in the family unit.
 

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
The reality for the child is that their parent provides for them, is responsible for them, and is connected to them in a way which is different and more significant than the other children who are not in the family unit.
Could part of that be instinctual? If it is, does that matter?

I can't help but notice that oftentimes, a child's love for its parent continues even if the parent isn't providing for them.
 

dybmh

דניאל יוסף בן מאיר הירש
Could part of that be instinctual? If it is, does that matter?

Yes, it could, but it still matters. I think we would need to seperate out the psychological need to love the parent and psychological need of feeling loved by the parent as compared to the love, the emotion, a child has for the parent.

I can't help but notice that oftentimes, a child's love for its parent continues even if the parent isn't providing for them.

I agree. However, if the parent never provided for them there is still the significance of the connection which is different than the other children outside the family unit.
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
What is happening when infatuation becomes love? I'm thinking the connection becomes more complex, because details that are discovered enhance the connection and reinforce it. The addition of detail, shifting from fantasy to reality, is increasing complexity?

When infatuation turns to love, it can stay simple in theory, but the thing is that people often mix additional emotions in at that point, which I feel also proves my point that people overcomplicate love. IMO.

That being said, I feel that love is stronger than infatuation, usually. I'd also say that stronger doesn't necessarily equal more complex.
 

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
Yes, it could, but it still matters. I think we would need to seperate out the psychological need to love the parent and psychological need of feeling loved by the parent as compared to the love, the emotion, a child has for the parent.
Can it be separated?
I agree. However, if the parent never provided for them there is still the significance of the connection which is different than the other children outside the family unit.
I agree.

I wonder how that affects a person affected by adoption.
 

anna.

Well-Known Member
Over time, what is happening? Shared experiences?

Maybe the passage of time separates infatuation from love, because infatuation burns hot and then burns out if there's no love to keep it going, while love can burn hot and fade into a long-lasting sustainable love.
 

VoidCat

Pronouns: he/they/it/neopronouns
wonder how that affects a person affected by adoption
Never was adopted but I've lived with folk who werent my parents as a child and was raised by them. You get attached to those who raise you by blood or not. And it can be very strong even lasting through abuse. Interestingly you may not have as strong a connection with your biological parents. I will say being ive had so many caregivers growing up I can drop folk easily it'll make me sad for a little while but I can do it at a moment's notice
 

VoidCat

Pronouns: he/they/it/neopronouns
Never was adopted but I've lived with folk who werent my parents as a child and was raised by them. You get attached to those who raise you by blood or not. And it can be very strong even lasting through abuse. Interestingly you may not have as strong a connection with your biological parents. I will say being ive had so many caregivers growing up I can drop folk easily it'll make me sad for a little while but I can do it at a moment's notice
@JustGeorge

I do have attachment and abandonment issues however
 
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