Life Advice That Does Suck

[Nakosis]

Anybody ever give you advice that made your life worse?

One I recall is someone told me to never go to sleep over an argument. (with your spouse)

So I stayed up late nights insisting we resolve our differences, often forgetting what the argument was originally about. Waking up the next day to realize the argument was over something so inconsequential it was not worth the 4-5 hours spent trying to resolve it.

Arguments usually only escalate. Better to sleep on it and reevaluate the next day with a clear head.

 

[dybmh]

Some may disagree, but, I feel like the advice "Fake it till you make it" can be a recipe for disaster.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

"Be a good Christian" was nasty bad for me.

 

[Heyo]

Anybody ever give you advice that made your life worse?

One I recall is someone told me to never go to sleep over an argument. (with your spouse)

So I stayed up late nights insisting we resolve our differences, often forgetting what the argument was originally about. Waking up the next day to realize the argument was over something so inconsequential it was not worth the 4-5 hours spent trying to resolve it.

Arguments usually only escalate. Better to sleep on it and reevaluate the next day with a clear head.

There is no such thing as bad advice.
At least you learn who's advice you shouldn't trust.

 

[SomeRandom]

Maybe not life advice per se, but I find the common phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” to not be that helpful in the long run.
It’s good in theory. But it can and is often used to diminish or dismiss mental distress and creates stigma surrounding seeking mental health services.

 

[Vinayaka]

"Kick it." Usually doesn't work.

 

[mangalavara]

Anybody ever give you advice that made your life worse?

No, not in my case. When it comes to accepting advice, I only accept it from individuals who I know and who live by the advice they give me.

Waking up the next day to realize the argument was over something so inconsequential it was not worth the 4-5 hours spent trying to resolve it.

The things you married folk get up to sometimes...

I feel like the advice "Fake it till you make it" can be a recipe for disaster.

I agree. Years ago, I listened to one of those 'law of attraction' figures say that if you want to be wealthy, dress like it, act like it, speak like it, drive a luxury vehicle, etc. The guy even said that one ought to tell people 'I feel rich today' when they ask how one is doing. It's quite obvious where that 'advice' belongs.

"Be a good Christian" was nasty bad for me.

Whatever that even means to the individuals who uttered it.

It reminds, by the way, of the demand for complete obedience to a deity or some spiritual leader. Look how that has made life better for human beings throughout the centuries.

Maybe not life advice per se, but I find the common phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” to not be that helpful in the long run.

From what I have seen, individuals who repeat that phrase can actually be hurt by words.

 

[SomeRandom]

From what I have seen, individuals who repeat that phrase can actually be hurt by words.

Yeah. This.
I mean I can understand that it’s usually meant to be given with good intentions. Don’t let insults get you down, pick yourself back up, prove the haters wrong, develop thicker skin etc
But it can be rather destructive. Low self esteem, feelings of embarrassment or inadequacy and so on. It’s a thought terminating cliche in a lot of ways

 

[VoidCat]

Some folk in school when I was a kid cuz I had bad social skills due to autism used to give me terrible advice on purpose to make fun of me for taking it not realizing it'd get me in trouble or make things worse.

 

[mangalavara]

Some folk in school when I was a kid cuz I had bad social skills due to autism used to give me terrible advice on purpose to make fun of me for taking it not realizing it'd get me in trouble or make things worse.

I'm sorry that you through that. Some individuals are intentionally malevolent, and I hope they get theirs.

 

[VoidCat]

Some folk in school when I was a kid cuz I had bad social skills due to autism used to give me terrible advice on purpose to make fun of me for taking it not realizing it'd get me in trouble or make things worse.

An example was whenever I fall I'd get up and say Im alright Im ok in a funny accent cuz I was quoting someone as a form of scripting and I mimicked the person I scripted. I thought folks found it funny cuz they'd laugh. It actually was them making fun of me I later found out from my sister years later but didnt know. I actually asked someone if folks were making fun of me cuz I was confused. But they said nah keep doing it no one doing that. That's a mild version of an example but there were some very huge disasters of ideas folks gave me.

 

[VoidCat]

I'm sorry that you through that. Some individuals are intentionally malevolent, and I hope they get theirs.

It's a common experience among many autistics I find. From the ones Ive talked to anyway which is a small sample size

 

[VoidCat]

Here's one I know and hate: Play the game. Omit truths. Tell lies. Say what they want to hear. Act like the way they want do what they say. You got to play the game. Pretend. Be something you arent. Stop acting autistic.

I took that advice. I had to for survival the advice was from my sister to me. And I acted so far different from who I am I no longer know who I am. I masked my autism and disability so well I no longer know how to act like myself tho I try. I know how to play the game. I know how to pretend to the point who you are is unknown. It's made my life pretty bad now but it also saved it in the short run. It made my life worse. Caused a lot of problems mentally and was draining. I feel so happy now I'm in a group home I can act like myself.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Whatever that even means to the individuals who uttered it.

It's meant to be very generalized, amd attached to it all the alleged good things that come from being Christian.
It's not a "this was said specifically by this person thing," but a "said by everyone" thing. Like the social myth revolving around the belief that Christianity makes people better and is on its own considered and admirable trait.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Here's one I know and hate: Play the game. Omit truths. Tell lies. Say what they want to hear. Act like the way they want do what they say. You got to play the game. Pretend.

That one, in many ways, has failed me.
For such an "individualist culture" we are very remarkable collective conformist when you step out of the mold. Then people telling you to just be yourself turn and tell you to conform and not be yourself.
Truly, few things make me gag more than people who describe themselves as free spirits but look and act and behave in a very typical manner assigned to them by society.

 

[We Never Know]

Anybody ever give you advice that made your life worse?

One I recall is someone told me to never go to sleep over an argument. (with your spouse)

So I stayed up late nights insisting we resolve our differences, often forgetting what the argument was originally about. Waking up the next day to realize the argument was over something so inconsequential it was not worth the 4-5 hours spent trying to resolve it.

Arguments usually only escalate. Better to sleep on it and reevaluate the next day with a clear head.

My grandma always said "Never got to bed angry" and evidently there has been a study in it.

"Never go to bed angry, the old saying goes, or bad feeling will harden into resentment. Now scientists have found evidence to support the idea that negative emotional memories are harder to reverse after a night’s sleep."


https://amp-theguardian-com.cdn.amp...angry-study-finds-evidence-for-age-old-advice

 

[Twilight Hue]

Anybody ever give you advice that made your life worse?

One I recall is someone told me to never go to sleep over an argument. (with your spouse)

So I stayed up late nights insisting we resolve our differences, often forgetting what the argument was originally about. Waking up the next day to realize the argument was over something so inconsequential it was not worth the 4-5 hours spent trying to resolve it.

Arguments usually only escalate. Better to sleep on it and reevaluate the next day with a clear head.

Be polite and courteous.

Strange as it sounds, at least where I live, strangers actually react like your crazy or there's a problem with you if you walk by and say things like good morning and such.

 

[JustGeorge]

In high school, I was always told to put friends before boyfriends.

Well, the truth was, none of them stuck around long term. I had friends shove me aside in the same manner boyfriends dumped me. I'd say stick with whoever you think will hang around longest, but don't get too attached either way.

 

[We Never Know]

In high school, I was always told to put friends before boyfriends.

Well, the truth was, none of them stuck around long term. I had friends shove me aside in the same manner boyfriends dumped me. I'd say stick with whoever you think will hang around longest, but don't get too attached either way.

That goes back to the saying of actions speak louder than words.

 

[Kangaroo Feathers]

Anybody ever give you advice that made your life worse?

"visit New Zealand"