It's not about Sex...

[evearael]

Ultimately, sexual orientation is not about sex. It is about who we have the capacity to fall in Love with and build a real relationship with. A relationship built on only desire or sex will fail, regardless of the genders involved. I firmly believe Love, true Love, is a gift from God, and that gift is no less valid when bestowed upon a sexual minority. I disagree with, but have no issue with any who would say that homosexual sex is sinful, as many of them view heterosexual sex as inherently sinful as well, but to say that the act of simply existing as a sexual minority is sinful is beyond misguided.

 

[Atheist_Dave]

"When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." - Friedrich Nietzsche.

I Like this quote, I think he is right. I don't however believe love is a gift from god, everybody loves. Atheists, satanists, buddhists, christians. Love is in our biology, not our religion. IMO

 

[evearael]

I feel it is more than just biology, but I respect your beliefs. Also, I certainly didn't wish to give the impression it is only accessible to people of any particular faith, or lack thereof.

 

[Atheist_Dave]

I know you weren't suggesting that, I realised just after I posted it My bad, just ignore me...

 

[barnabus]

I apologize, but I am under the notion that homosexuality is sinful, more for religious reasons than for anything else. Kudo?

 

[fromthe heart]

Ultimately, sexual orientation is not about sex. It is about who we have the capacity to fall in Love with and build a real relationship with. A relationship built on only desire or sex will fail, regardless of the genders involved. I firmly believe Love, true Love, is a gift from God, and that gift is no less valid when bestowed upon a sexual minority. I disagree with, but have no issue with any who would say that homosexual sex is sinful, as many of them view heterosexual sex as inherently sinful as well, but to say that the act of simply existing as a sexual minority is sinful is beyond misguided.

I perhaps do not understand this because I have had many relationships where I truely felt pure love for others and they are to this day some of my dearest friends because they feel as I do towards them...this however does not mean that this love has to result in a committed relationship other than in the bounds of friendship...I do not have the desire to be in bed with these although my love for them is so deep I would lay my life down for these people whom I love...but in loving them as I do there is NO sexual orientation intended or required for these relationships to be sound biblically...so I can't say I quite understand your point of sexual orientation NOT being about SEX! Care to enlighten me? If you are drawn to someone that leads to a sexual encounter then wouldn't it be along the lines of sexually based?

 

[gnomon]

Actually I believe sexual orientation is all about sex. Many loving relationships can be built regardless of one's sexual orientation. Sex truly has little to do with love in my opinion. I love many people and oddly enough do not wish to have sex with any of them. That would just be gross.

There's no need to redefine a term to make it more acceptable.

 

[evearael]

Gnomon... I am actually agreeing with you completely. Sex and Love are two separate things. What some of the people on this forum are failing to recognize is that a homosexual is more than just someone with a physical, sexual attraction to someone of the same gender, they also have the same capacity to feel Love of the same gender. They are capable of the same deep and loving relationships that heterosexual couples have, not just the love one has of a good friend or family member. I know of several homosexual couples who are in deeply loving and caring relationship, but choose to abstain from sex because of their religious convictions, and their relationship is no less valid than any other loving couple. I just feel that many people get so hung up on the sex side of a relationship... and this is true regardless of the genders involved... that they completely miss the emotional and spiritual side.

fromtheheart... I am happy you have experienced pure love for your friends, and that is wonderful. I am also happy that hasn't let you to sleep with all of them, as I do not believe in promiscuity. I am saying that when a homosexual couple fall in love, they experience the same love as a heterosexual couple. Think about when you were a child. Do you remember having a crush for a little boy on the play ground? A homosexual experiences the same thing, but directed at the same gender. You may not have fallen in love yet (I certainly hope you do at some point! ), but when you do, it is the exact same thing a homosexual feels. I am not saying that romantic love is devoid of the desire for sex, it is simply not the focal point, if that love is to last.

 

[Jaymes]

I love many people and oddly enough do not wish to have sex with any of them.

Do you love your wife/girlfriend the same way you love your dad?

 

[gnomon]

Do you love your wife/girlfriend the same way you love your dad?

Actually that is the point of my post. Love can be and I believe is removed from the idea of sex and that sexual orientation is wholly involved with sex. I agree with eveareal, if I am understanding, that too often people who are uncomfortable with homosexuality only view gays and lesbians in a sexual sense. They forget that there is a separate element of love involved.

In my past relationships I have had a completely sexual relationship with a friend, a loving relationship with a girlfriend without sex, close relationships with women which involve emotional intimacy but lack sex or any sense of a girlfriend/boyfriend aspect and those few completely psychotic experiments.

Modern concepts of marriage only muddle the issue. On a personal note I'm glad I never got married. The one relationship I was in when the issue came up was too involved physically and the "love" was not enough for that kind of emotional commitment. Both of us are much better off.

If only that right woman would find me. I've been a bit lazy lately.

 

[Scarlett Wampus]

So, sexual orientation is more to do with romantic love than it is to do with sexual attraction. Seems about right to me. The two usually do go together though.

 

[michel]

I think that the 'typical' (whatever that is) Relationship that ends in a long lasting union is firstly based on lust. (I am remembering some psychobable I have read). After lust comes a genuine interest to get to know the person, marriage (or some sort of 'agreement').

Out of that grows affection as a form of love, which grows as lust wains, until the 'average couple' are in a blissful loving relationship and in which they are the best of friends. That is the ideal, of course.

A wife and husband should (hopefully) each provide strengths where the other has weaknesses.

 

[fromthe heart]

I do remember the playing on the playground and feeling attracted to this one boy...I also understand that is I were 'gay' I would have felt those feelings towards a girl instead...I never did...therefore it is impossible for me to be able to walk a mile in someones shoes who HAVE had that. From first grade to fourth I was with this one boy only...he was my boyfriend....this boy grew up and in high school was said to be gay cuz he didn't have time for relationships with girls. Captain of the football team and totally into sports which he lived and breathed since he wasn't 'seeing' a girl in all that he was said to be gay...he even started to believe it and tried the gay lifestyle because he felt closer to all these guy friends than he did with girls...he was in this until he really started to take a long look at what made him feel as he did...he was so confused as to which way he really WAS...10 years ago after being in turmoil he developed a relationship with a girl that was more of a tom-boy than anything else...their friendship bloomed because she really understood his passions in life for the things he was into...after 2 years they got married...the have a child and he finally feels as if he lost YEARS of his life in 'thinking' wrong all his life...He learned after all those years he wasn't gay at all...through it all we have been really good friends and I supported him no matter what he decided...we were each others first puppyloves.

NOW let me tell you another story...my 6 year old grandson came home saying he was going to grow up and marry this boyfriend he has at school...because he can't relate to any girls and their silly ways yet...but I do not presume he will grow up one way or the other.

I do not believe you can assume your sexual orientation/lifetime mate by how you feel as a child just because you develope a bond with one of the same sex..I think it's at that stage of your life an act of rebellion towards parent(shock value), or perhaps even rebellion against God(moral value)...lots of kids say love and sex don't go hand in hand when it comes down to a lifetime partner...but it does...other wise why would one feel the need to be constantly WITH this person in a committed relationship...best friends have this but don't feel the need for the sexual end of the relationship...I just don't think many know how to view relationships becasue our world is SO screwed up.

I don't presume to know your own personal deal or to understand it but only from what I've seen as an elder in society watching these things happen. Each person HAS to really know themselves to know for sure who they will chose to be their intamate partner...lots fail because they have the wrong opinion of themselves and haven't even tried the straight way in the proper context of friendship leading to something more...Just my thoughts on it all.

No DISrespect intended to anyone!!!:flower2:

 

[Flappycat]

I apologize, but I am under the notion that homosexuality is sinful, more for religious reasons than for anything else. Kudo?

Dude, I've got a life. Get one of your own, and stay out of mine. I'm going to be queer with or without people like you out to make my life more difficult than it has to be. I just want people like you to have as little to do with the course of my life as possible. I find your religion offensive, and I can't stomach your attitude, referring to you and all the rest of the blokes who absolutely cannot feel whole unless they've done something nasty to a homosexual. Really, my life is probably happier and more interesting than yours for the very simple reason that I try to go out of my way to bring happiness into the lives of others. You'd have a much more fulfilling existence if you'd try to do the same instead of filing spiteful, little amendments designed for the explicit purpose of insulting and denigrating me, my family, and most of my friends. Haul yourself out of my country: you seriously don't deserve any part in it. I'm really SICK, sick to death of being nice about this.

 

[jeffrey]

The bible speaks of doing things unnatural. So, if you're naturally a heterosexual and you attempt to do something unnatural to you, according to the bible, it's a sin. Likewise, if you are homosexual and you attempt to do something unnatural to you, such as become heterosexual, it also is a sin. God made people the way they are for a reason. Before judging others, take it up with God.